As Donovan walked down the hallway, his gaze took in each face that he passed, though his head barely moved. The subtle observational skill was not one that Link possessed, his head twisting every which way as they walked.
"What are you looking for?" Donovan said, trying to keep the teasing note from his voice. He knew the question should have been 'who' instead of 'what'.
Link jerked his attention to Donovan, eyes wide as he shook his head and shrugged.
"What do you mean? I'm just... looking and stuff. You know, always be observant and stuff."
Donovan couldn't help it, he laughed. Link and observant were two things he'd never been able to connect, no matter how much he tried.
"You're an idiot, you know that?" Donovan said, still grinning.
Link rolled his eyes, not at all amused. From his peripheral, Donovan noticed the increased heads turned his way and inwardly smacked himself. He wasn't stupid, he knew how being animated changed his entire appearance. He'd slipped up and because his best friend was looking for the girl he liked.
Donovan schooled his expression back into closed-off indifference, hoping he hadn't messed up too much. Link cocked his head, smirking at him, clearly not as unobservant as Donovan accused him of being.
"You broke your 'silent type' persona, who is the idiot now?" Link said.
"It can still be both of us," Donovan said.
"Yes, but people assume it of me, not you. I think this means it's worse for you."
"But only you know about it which I'm fine with it. Who are you going to tell?"
Link flashed a toothy grin. "Your brothers."
"Ha," Donovan said dryly. "They already think I'm an idiot so you wouldn't be telling them something they don't know."
"I don't know, I think they might want to hear this one. Perfect Donovan messes up."
"I laughed, that's hardly noteworthy."
Even before Link gestured around the hall, Donovan knew it hadn't been a simple mistake. As the Silent Type he was still approached but when he laughed and smiled he knew he looked more approachable, it wasn't likely that the opportunity would missed.
As if to back up Link, a girl broke away from her group and cut into the pair's path. Donovan sighed inwardly and Link seemed to be bouncing with enjoyment next to him.
"Hey," the girl said hesitant but hopeful. "I know we haven't met but... I'm Alexis, we actually have AP Economics together."
The girl seemed kind, friendly even but still Donovan had the strongest urge to grab Link and use him as a shield. Yes, Donovan was the 'New Thing' in a world where these students had known each other for years but he wanted to tell the girl that Link was 'new' too, take him, leave Donovan alone. But he couldn't do that, she wouldn't accept Link and it wouldn't matter.
Instead, Donovan locked his expression down, even making sure to deaden his eyes.
"Okay," Donovan said uninterested.
Alexis faltered, while beside Donovan, Link turned away, grimacing into his fist. At Link's reaction and Donovan's cool attitude, Alexis retreated a step.
"Uh...sorry," she said. "Just... uh... I'll... never mind."
Quickly, Alexis spun on her heels and rejoined her group, her friends all shooting Donovan glances as Alexis buried herself in their protective cocoon. When they were out of earshot, Link shook his head.
"That was cold," he said.
Donovan couldn't ignore the flicker of guilt in his gut.
"She was just being nice," Link said with exaggerated pity. "You didn't have to be so mean. You shut her down so harshly."
Donovan smacked the back of Link's head making him laugh even as he rubbed the spot.
"Hey, what are we laughing at?"
Maddy's bright voice brought Link up short and the playful person of a second before seemed to vanish in an instant under her smile.
"Uh... what?" He motioned between him and Donovan. "We weren't... it wasn't. Nothing."
Maddy laughed and settled next to him. "Okay, keep your secrets."
Link paled and Donovan nudged his shoulder to snap him out of his panic. Link swallowed but didn't seem to know how to form words anymore.
"Are you coming to the library with us?" Donovan asked, diverting Maddy's attention and giving Link a second to get a hold of himself.
"Yes," she said, turning her smile on Link again, along with hopeful eyes. "I need some help with the calculus homework, I was hoping you'd help me."
"Yes!" Link coughed and cringed at the excitement in his voice. He cleared his throat. "Yes, I can help with that, definitely."
As Donovan pushed the door to the library, Maddy laughed at Link's eagerness. With a quick survey of the library, Donovan found Carter at a table towards the back. Her position caused him to pause for a fraction. Instead of sitting like everyone else, she had her ankles crossed on top of the table and her chair angled back on two legs, her eyes closed.
"Oh, we can sit with Carter," Link said, spotting her as well.
As they approached Carter, she didn't react at all, seemingly oblivious to their presence but Donovan wasn't convinced, she was too tense to be unaware. Part of him wondered if she sat the way she did to draw attention to herself. But the other part of him said he could easily imagine her positioning herself like this alone at her house.
When Donovan prodded her shoulder with his finger, he wasn't surprised with how quickly she snatched his wrist.
"Good to know you are still aware of your surroundings," Donovan said gently taking her wrist and pulling her fingers away from his. Though a defensive action, Donovan didn't want to get familiar with her touch. Couldn't want it.
She smiled but didn't look at him.
"Carter," Maddy said, "are you actually asleep?"
Donovan understood Maddy's question, to an outsider Carter looked so comfortable in the position it was believable she could sleep there.
"Nope," Carter said, slipping her legs off the table and dropping her chair to all fours. "Not asleep."
"Good," Maddy said, teasingly as they all took a seat. "I was going to say that's probably not the best way to sleep, you could fall."
"Very true."
If asleep, then yes Donovan could see Carter falling but figured only a heavy sleep would make that possible. Donovan quickly cut off his thoughts on the subject, realizing he'd wasted pointless brain space thinking about Carter and her ability. She did not need to take up space in his mind.
Donovan took out his unfinished homework, determined to put his mind to something that needed his actual attention, the girl beside him didn't fall into that category. Homework, Link that's what deserved his attention, not Carter reaching up to tighten her ponytail next to him.
Shaking his head as if to dislodge the unwanted thoughts, Donovan focused on the complex equations in front of him. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Maddy shifting closer to Link. She sent him looks which Link took with a shy smile and a ducked head.
"What are you all doing this weekend?" Maddy asked, tying Carter and Donovan into her gaze.
Donovan looked to Link but then looked to Carter. 'What are you all...' For so long it had only been Link and him, it felt strange to be grouped with one more person. One more person was in his life, three was a crowd to him now.
"Well," Maddy said, excited, "my friend's friend is throwing a party. I thought we could all go! You know, dance, hang out, and stuff!"
A normal teenage party. Donovan and Link had only ever been to one of those in their high school career and it hadn't gone well.
Link's lost, startled look told Donovan that Link was thinking of the same instance. It had involved Link sneaking out to a party for a girl, who'd had a dangerous ex that didn't appreciate Link making a move on his girl. Donovan had found Link taking punches and when Donovan had stopped the ex, Donovan had been so furious he'd had to stop himself from sending the guy to the hospital.
That was the last party they'd gone to.
Three years ago.
"That would be great," Carter said. "I assume we will find some sort of entertainment, even if it is just watching our peers get roaring drunk."
Donovan fought back a smile a that, not surprised Carter would go to a party only to watch the stupidity of her peers. Maddy didn't seem to mind the reason why they were going, just that they were as she beamed at Link.
"This will be so much fun!" she said, lacing her fingers with Link's. "I can't wait."
The contact brought Link out of the past and he looked at their joined hands, nodding but not speaking. With a squeeze, Maddy released Link's hand and dug into her backpack. As she turned away from him, Link raised his eyes to Donovan. Donovan nodded in reassurance. The party would not play out like the previous one had.
The group focused on their individual work, though Donovan wouldn't call what Link and Maddy did as 'focus', their eyes continually straying to each other more than not. Eventually, Maddy stood, her body language determined while her expression was mischievous. Donovan knew exactly what was on her mind and held back a smile, this would be a first for Link but Donovan was sure Link wouldn't mind learning.
"Link," Maddy said. "I have to find a book, will you come help me?"
Link blinked up at her and Donovan winced at what he knew was going to come. Having to learn meant he had no knowledge of what he lacked, and it showed.
"I should probably finish this," he said, pointing to his paper.
Link jumped, wincing with pain and though Carter had barely moved, Donovan knew she'd kicked Link. Brutal way to help, but Donovan wasn't sure Carter knew any other way.
"I think the book Maddy is looking for is on the second floor," Carter said in an exaggeratedly pointed way. "Far back where it's really dark. You should help her because it's really hard to find anything up there."
Looking confused and rubbing his sore shin, Link remained seated. Maddy took his hand, urging him from his chair. Her touch seemed to help him break from his immobility and follow her. Sighing dramatically, Carter laid her head back on the top of the chair.
"I never pegged Link for being stupid," she said. "That's me wrong, for once. Do you think he'll know what to do?"
Not stupid, only seriously inexperienced. Not for a lack of trying though, the main issue in Link's lack of experience stemmed from being in Donovan's shadow. Until Maddy.
"Once Maddy starts kissing him," Donovan said. "I'm sure he will figure it out."
Carter leaned back in her chair, resting her feet on the table once more.
"How can he be so clueless?" she said.
Something made Donovan tilt his chair back as well, keeping Carter in his eye line.
"You have to remember, Link has had very little interaction with girls. It was for his safety. He's also naturally a shy person."
It was a nicer answer than Link had attempted many times to talk to girls and had failed miserably every time. Donovan didn't think Carter needed any ammunition to tease Link for his past failings. The ammunition might never be used but Donovan still kept it away from her.
"He talked to me just fine," Carter said, her brow furrowing in a way that wasn't her normal scowl but a cuter frown.
Donovan slapped himself mentally and looked away to where Link and Maddy had disappeared.
"That's because you reminded him of me," he said, righting his thoughts. "Someone smart and straightforward. What he finds difficult to understand are the hidden messages in what girls say. You weren't hard to communicate with because you said exactly what you were thinking."
And he wasn't trying to flirt with Carter. If he'd been attracted to her at all, Donovan knew it would have been a different story. But Donovan figured Link had been too intimated by Carter's natural 'don't mess with me' aura to even think of her as a girl to flirt with.
Carter let out a bright laugh and Donovan found it impossible not to look over at her. When she laughed all the hard lines of her face softened. Even her eyes, which usually held a sharp scrutiny, turned... soft.
Donovan felt like strangling himself just to make his thoughts shut up.
"That has to be a first," Carter said, still smiling.
The note of wonder and surprise in her tone acted as a neutralizer to Donovan's rebellious thoughts. He looked at her, not seeing the tough outcast but a lonely girl who had found someone who felt at ease with her. He realized how having someone see beyond her tough exterior must feel strange but encouraging.
When Carter met Donovan's gaze, Donovan buried all of his traitorous thoughts, knowing they had no place in his life and not in Carter's. She was a girl who needed friends more than anything else.
"Seeing as how Link hasn't reemerged shocked and screaming," Carter said. "I imagine he's enjoying making out with Maddy. So, how about that explanation you owe me: how did you end up with this job, anyway?"
Donovan ran a hand through his hair, taken back to a day years ago when he came home with his brothers to find Senator Douglas next to his father. He remembered the moment as if it had only been yesterday, skin sticky from the ocean, James fighting with him to get to the shower first, the laughter of his brothers, and the way Senator Douglas looked at Donovan. In his look, there was assessment followed by approval and decision. Donovan had felt the shift before Senator Douglas ever nodded at Donovan's father and his father spoke the simple statement: Donovan, Senator Douglas has a job for you.
One statement that had put Donovan's life on a whole new trajectory. But that trajectory was only possible because of how he'd grown up.
Donovan slipped out of his memory back to the library, looking around, checking that no one remained close by.
"I grew up on a marine base," he said, barely above a whisper. "My father ran it and my mother was a therapist, who worked with soldiers dealing with trauma. I have three older brothers and was homeschooled. I started in a public school, but when I started causing trouble because I got bored quickly, my mother brought me home. It was easier and I learned fast."
Donovan gazed out on the library but could only see the desert scenery he knew as home. Years of not living on the base couldn't erase the sound of rumbling cars, the whirl of helicopter blades, the roar of airplane engines, and the crack of gunfire from his mind. Those noises were as familiar to him as the chaos of city traffic had become.
"Growing up around marines gave me...a very broad education." 'Broad' didn't feel like a big enough word for how the men around him impacted his life. But Donovan pushed that side of his past away, focusing on facts and not emotions. "By the age of ten, I could assemble a gun. At thirteen, I was going through training ops with other Marines. I jumped grades and was finishing up high school by the age of sixteen. That's when I got signed on for the job with Link."
Sixteen. Donovan remembered Link at sixteen. He'd still been a kid in Donovan's eyes. How had Donovan been just as young when he stepped into the role of protector? He'd been a kid himself, training or not. But still, he'd taken the position and childhood had been left behind.
"How did you get it?" Carter asked, pulling Donovan from his thoughts.
"My father knew President Douglas from the Marines," Donovan said. "When President Douglas needed someone who could protect Link, he turned to my father. My brothers were all too old, and while I was fit, my face made me look younger. I was both trained and could blend in."
A single decision and Donovan had watched as he stood still in one spot while his brothers ventured into the world, creating new lives and careers for themselves.
In a blink six years were gone.
Yet in each moment, it had felt longer.
Donovan mentally shook himself. "I said yes and like that six years of my life were spent going through school again. Except this time I couldn't cause trouble when I was bored."
Donovan forced himself to look at Carter, needing to stop himself from losing himself in a tunnel of weariness that he knew had no end. Her blue eyes held him and Donovan felt the pain of six endless, aggravatingly boring years fade into the back of his mind. He shifted, sliding his hands into his pockets, balling his fists, struggling with feeling comfort in her gaze and not wanting it.
"How have you possibly made it this long?" she asked.
Donovan lied as he shrugged like it hadn't been a challenge, like it hadn't been a constant source of talks with his mother, brothers, and even his father.
"I take college courses to pass the time and go to the gun range as often as possible," Donovan said. "I will have a bachelor's degree in criminal psychology and a reference letter that will guarantee me a job at any place of my choosing."
The words felt like an old mantra that he used to keep him going. But he couldn't help feeling like they'd lost their strength with time.
He sighed. "In the meantime, my three older brothers have been painstakingly working to rise in the ranks. Although they do have a freedom I don't. And their jobs don't involve constant 'babysitting', as they frequently remind me. "
He let out a low, wry chuckle but felt his brow tighten with frustration. But Donovan quickly cleared his expression, too aware of Carter's sharp eyes. She didn't need to know his struggle. He didn't want her to know.
"Doesn't mean this job has been easy," Donovan said carelessly. "There have been plenty of times of boredom. But that's a price I'm willing to pay for quick advancement."
He fell silent, his mind playing out the familiar argument of whether it was all worth it. But the answer was always the same, for Link it was. That was why he kept going because Link needed him.
"Well, although it has been years of boredom," Carter said. "And times of annoyance with the female aspect, I'm glad you decided to say yes."
When Donovan looked at her, she offered him an encouraging smile. It was a strange expression on the girl who scowled so much of the time. It was a gift and Donovan smiled back at her.
"I agree," he said.
For Link.
And possibly for another reason that was shaped a little like her.
The bell rang and they both looked up, remembering where they were. Throughout the library students rose and collected their stuff, the bell acting as a pass to raise their voices in bright, careless conversations. Donovan felt as if for a small amount of time Carter and him had been in a secluded bubble. But now it was gone and Donovan leaned forward, closing his books and closing off his past.
Link and Maddy reappeared, hands clasped, pinked cheeks, and rumpled. Carter glanced at Donovan and before he could stop himself he winked. Carter and he hadn't been the only ones creating their own little bubble. The pair stepped up to the table, Link a little dazed and Maddy unable to control the size of her smile. Donovan wanted to laugh at Link but held it in.
"How did the book search go?" Carter asked.
Link looked at her, puzzled. "What book?"
"What book?" Donovan mocked Link after they split ways with Carter and Maddy.
"Will you please shut up! I actually thought she needed help finding a book."
It took everything Donovan had to not burst out laughing. But it seemed that Link saw exactly what Donovan was trying to hold back because he punched his arm. Instead of leaving Donovan with a bruise, Link swore and shook out his injured hand. Donovan smirked and Link shot him a look of loathing.
"I'm guessing you did eventually figure it out though?" Donovan asked.
Link turned so pink that Donovan wondered if heat was radiating off of his cheeks.
"She knew what she was doing," Link said.
"It's good one of you did."
The color in Link's face faded as his face softened. "I think she actually likes me."
"Making out with you in a library would indicate that," Donovan said.
Link shook his head, his eyes distant. "No, it was the way she looked at me before she kissed me. It was like..." He held his hands in the air, twisting them as if trying to physically form the sentence his mind couldn't find. "It was like she was... I don't know nervous. Nervous I wouldn't kiss her back or something." He made a face. "That doesn't make any sense. She's beautiful, who wouldn't want to kiss her... I don't know."
"It makes sense to me," Donovan said.
"No, it doesn't, how could it."
"Because when you really like someone and want them to like you too, it's natural to be nervous about getting close."
Link eyed Donovan uncertain. "Really?"
The library, Carter next to him, and sharing his life flashed in Donovan's mind.
"Really," he said.
**********************************************************************
Wham bam blam!
*bangs the side of a pot with a spoon* Thoughts, empty your thoughts here! Thank you. Yes, all your thoughts, even the unimportant ones.
Donovan is so smitten with Carter that I'm honestly shocked that Carter never saw it. The girl must be blind because it's dripping off of Donovan.
But it is Carter's journey to realize and accept that people can love her so I guess I can forgive her for not seeing the beautiful hunk of a man right next to her giving her googly lovey eyes. But she's also a little stupid, can't be helped.
Funny fact for you: I nearly lost it writing this chapter because I couldn't remember how to spell 'trajectory'. I kept pronouncing is chur-jectory so obviously spell check had no clue what I was trying to type out and kept giving me this look :| It was embarrassing.
Ah, the toils of being a writer, it's your job to know words and yet you can fail miserably at it.
Anywho help an author out and vote, comment, follow!