A loud chiming sound jolted me awake. As soon as the light hit my eyes a headache sparked behind them. Another chime sounded off from under my pillow followed by two more in rapid succession. The shrill sound had my head close to exploding. With the way the pain was growing, I would almost welcome it.
"Ugh," I groaned. Finally giving in, I dipped my hand under the pillow to search for my phone. When I pulled it out, the blinding light from the screen had me squinting as I read the now numerous text messages.
Alex: Scars, where are you?
Alex: Uncle Mike is worried, you haven't called or answered his calls.
"Oh fuck," I shot up to a seated position just as my phone started to ring. It was Alex.
I flicked my thumb across the green answer button.
"Hello?"
"Are you okay? Uncle Mike wants to know where you are. It's almost ten, you should have been here hours ago!" As he spoke, the memories of him from last night started to come back to me. How could he be speaking to me so cavalierly?
My stomach churned and I felt myself starting to feel sick from the images of that dancer and what she did to that guy. The way his hunk of skin hung from her clenched teeth.
Fighting back a gag I choked out, "I'm not feeling well."
"Oh, well you should have texted. I mean, shit you had us all worried." He chided.
I hummed back in response. I ran my fingers through my hair a few times, trying to calm my nerves. There was no more excuses for Alex that I could come up with. I'd seen him in the act, getting the drugs, selling them and what the effects of said drug were. It's something that could never be erased from my mind and now I have to some how go on acting like everything is normal?
Absentmindedly, I brought my thumb to my teeth and started biting my nail. Now what? They, Mike and Alex, know that I know what's going on. How am I going to be able to go in to work and face them?
I started to chew my nail even harder, remembering that man named Desmond mentioning he's heard a lot about me. That certainly can't be good.
"Put him on speaker." Declans' husky voice broke me from my thoughts. I practically jumped out of my skin when I felt his breath on my ear.
I pulled the phone from my face and quickly pressed the mute button.
"Where the hell did you come from?!" I whispered through clenched teeth, grabbing my chest in hopes it would calm my rapidly beating heart.
Declan chuckled, climbing up onto my bed so he could sit next to me. "The floor." He smirked while he arched his back. My eyes betrayed me as I looked over his tattooed, naked top half while he stretched. "Some thanks after I held your hair back, I might add."
The taste of cranberry juice and cigarettes that was still on my tongue became very apparent. I never want cranberry juice or vodka for as long as I lived.
"Scars, you there?" Alex's voice pulled my attention away from Declan.
"What? Yea, sorry." I said, taking him off mute.
"So do you want to?"
"Uhm..."
Alex let out an annoyed sigh. "Do you want to have a late lunch? I know you aren't feeling well, I can stop by that sushi place you like and grab you some udon."
Declan nodded his head yes. My eyes widened. I didn't want to be left alone with Alex. I couldn't act like everything was normal after last night. I'd blow it, let on to me knowing or worse.
Quickly I shook my head no but the look on Declans' face said I didn't have a choice in the matter.
"Sure. How about 2:30?" I asked meekly.
"Yea, see you then." He said before ending the call.
My stomach flipped again and I felt my whole body become clammy. "I'm going to be sick." I murmured, scrambling out of bed and to the bathroom.
Trudging back into my bedroom after expelling everything from my stomach and then brushing my teeth, I saw Declan laying on his back on my bed. His head was resting on my pillow, arm stretched and resting above his head in nothing but black sweatpants.
If I didn't feel like a flaming dumpster, I'm sure I would have found this hot as hell but honestly, I just wanted to go to sleep or die, whatever came first. Stupid alcohol.
Crawling over him, I collapsed onto the mattress. I shimmied myself over into his side, resting my head on his chest and my arm over his torso. God he smelled so good. It took everything in me not to take in a deep breath. He scoffed and just before he could get a word in, I cut him off.
"This means nothing. I'm not feeling well and I just really want cuddles." I whined.
"It looked like you finally had fun last night." He replied in a cheery tone that made me want to slap him.
I groaned back in response. "No, I didn't."
"Hmm, you looked like you were having a lot of fun while you were putting on that little show." He teased.
My eyes shot open. "Oh god."
Declan let out a laugh at how mortified I sounded. I buried my face into his side, letting the hair that fell over my face stay there. Hopefully he couldn't feel how red my face was against him.
I still can't believe I did that. Danced, I use that word loosely, on a stripper pole, took off my clothes and shook my ass to get a reaction from him. I curse the human who invented vodka.
I poked my head up from him. "How did we get home?"
"I brought you home." Declan's arm that was above his head came down and wrapped around me. His fingers gently brushing up and down my arm.
"Thank you." I said quietly. I hope he didn't hear my voice tremble. His tender touch was so different than what I had experienced from him. His fingers were leaving goosebumps in their wake.
There was a long period of silence between us. The longer we stayed like this the more the both of our bodies relaxed into each other. It was like we were melting together. I could feel my eyes getting heavier now that my stomach had finally calmed down and just before I lulled off to sleep I heard him whisper "You're welcome."
Warm fingers gently brushed down my face, pulling me from my peaceful sleep.
"Scarlett," I was so warm and comfortable, I didn't care that I had slept the entire time on his chest. I didn't want to wake up. "Scars," he whispered again, continuing to run the back of his fingers down my cheek.
"Please no." I whispered, moving closer against him.
His lips pressed against my forehead, staying there for a moment while he took in a slow deep breath. This made my heart swell inside my chest. I wanted to savor this moment forever. "You have to get ready, Alex will be here soon."
Begrudgingly I opened my eyes. Propping myself up on my elbow, I looked down at Declan while he looked lazily up at me. "You know how to ruin a good moment."
He smiled, letting out a laugh through is nose. "You smell like a stripper. You should probably shower."
I scoffed. How could he go from being so gentle to being a brute in less than a minute?
"You could have moved back to the floor if it was really that bad." I teased.
"No. You were too comfortable." His answer made me bite my lip, rubbing it slowly between my teeth. Declans' eyes stayed fixed on my action. His tongue dipped out so he could lick his lip. That single action had me wanting to taste him again.
Breaking the spell, he tapped my thigh before he sat up and rolled from the bed to stand. I was left feeling cold and empty now that he was no longer against me.
Turning to watch him while he quickly grabbed his shirt off of the floor, I noticed a large white gauze pad was tapped to his skin, a large blood stain covered the center of it. I remembered his sweatshirt that he wore last night was blood stained and when I started to panic, thinking I needed to take him to the hospital he said he'd already been fixed up. He tugged the shirt over his head, covering his bandage and before I could even ask what happened he spoke. "Alex will be here in 45 minutes, you should really get in the shower."
"Are you going to stay here?" I didn't want be left alone with Alex but most of all, I didn't want this version of Declan to leave.
His head dipped down to his chest before he turned to look at me. "I can't stay. He'll know I'm here and he either won't come or it will end up in a shoot out like yesterday."
"Is that what happened to you, you were shot?" I questioned.
He didn't answer, instead he kept on getting his things to put in his duffel bag that was at the foot of my bed.
"Declan," he was still ignoring me, wincing every time he turned too fast.
I got up from my bed and walked to him, putting my hand on his shoulder. "Please tell me, I want to know."
"You want to know?" He snapped, still not looking at me. "Nick, myself and a few others were at one of our safe houses. One of the alarms went off so Nick went to check it out. Next thing we knew, the whole fucking building was on fire. Alex and his little friends ambushed us. They had grenades and guns. They killed three of my men before we could even draw our weapons. Alex managed to get one shot in before I knocked his gun out of his hand and drove my knife into his hand. While he and I were fighting, his guys doused the place in diesel fuel and lit a match. I shot two of those Russian bastards and barely escaped with Tommy, one of my guys. They killed seven men yesterday."
I stood there with my hand over my mouth. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He turned, grimacing at the pain again and looked down at me in my shocked state. He scoffed when he saw the horrified look painted on my face.
"Now you know." He spat, moving his bag so that it was hanging from his shoulder. He moved past me, hitting me with his shoulder as he did, almost making me lose my balance.
Before he got to my door, I grabbed his hand. He stopped in his tracks, letting out an annoyed breath through his nostrils before turning his head to look at me out of the corner of his eyes.
I should be petrified. I should be running in the opposite direction to put as much space between us as possible. I should be screaming, crying- anything! He just told me that Alex tried to kill him and Declan retaliated by stabbing him in the hand. He said he killed men yesterday in cold blood. I should be cowering in fear of him. Sucking in my bottom lip, I bit down before falling into him and wrapping my arms around his waist. But here I am... after hearing all of that, feeling relieved that he made it out alive.
My hair was still damp, I had no motivation to dry it and I was dressed in leggings and an oversized band tee. This was as put together as I was going to get. My hangover from last night was still hanging around despite the Advil and water.
Even though Alex had texted me that he was here, when he knocked on my door it still made me jump.
"Hey Scars!" Alex exclaimed when I opened the door for him.
"Hey," I answered, moving to the side to let him in. I rose up on my tip toes to look over the railing of my deck at the cars parked out back, hoping to see Declans' SUV or his Jaguar. Nothing, just Alex's car and mine.
"I got you your Udon!" He beamed, watching me close my door.
"Thanks," I said with a half hearted smile. We walked down the hall to my table and I sunk into one of the chairs while Alex opened up the bags of food and set them out on the table. He went into my kitchen and grabbed my soy sauce, forks and a spoon. I brought my soup container in font of me and sighed as soon as I opened it. I know it's basic but I loved tempura udon and the sushi place here has the best broth ever. I grabbed the pack of chop sticks and pulled them apart while Alex sat down across from me.
"Someones hungry." He laughed and I started in on my noodles. "Mike and I were really worried about you when you didn't show up this morning. Are you feeling any better?"
Alex reached for his food container. When I saw that his hand was wrapped in a thick white bandage my stomach sank. Declan had done that.
"W-what happened to your hand?"
He slowly brought his hand back to him and hid it under the table. Forcing a smile he came up with a lie. "Got my hand pinched at work. It's all good."
"Just a pinch? There was dried blood on the bandage." Apparently now I am an expert in what dried blood looks like and by the looks of the bandage, there was a lot of it.
"Yea, I'm good." He continued, trying to eat his food with his non dominant hand.
"Did you file an incident report for it?" I asked, slurping a noodle.
Alex scoffed and then laughed at my question. "No, why would I file an incident report?"
"You said you pinched your hand at work. You have to file a report of a workplace accident." I responded, trying my best to keep up this charade and make sure I don't let anything slip.
Alex paused, his smile falling. "You're right, I did say that." He said before clearing his throat. "I'll um, file it tomorrow. You see, this is why you can't miss work. The whole place falls apart without you."
I smiled a tight lipped smile up at him. The tension was starting to build between us. It was clear we were both trying to watch what we were saying to each other while we tried so hard to make small talk.
We ate the rest of our food in silence. The only noise was the occasional scrape of a fork. Alex tried his best to keep his wounded hand out of sight so that I wouldn't question him about it again. When we were about finished I remembered Declan bringing up Alexs' ex-girlfriend.
"Hey, what ever happened with Aveleen?"
Alex dropped his fork onto the plate. He quickly tried to pick it up and brush it off, shaking his head.
"Uh, who?"
"Aveleen, your ex-girlfriend. We all thought you two were going to get married." I said, trying to get him to remember.
He cleared his throat and ran his bandaged hand through his wavy black hair. "Oh, her. I'm not sure. I don't really keep track of girls once I break up with them." He faked a laugh.
Furrowing my brow while I twirled a noodle around with my chop stick, I looked up at him.
"You didn't break up with her. You said she left you." I corrected him.
"Nah, I broke up with her. She was being too clingy." Alex had a horrible habit of bouncing when he was nervous. If he was standing he would be bouncing up and down on his toes, instead, his leg was bouncing nervously.
"Alex, we went to breakfast together the morning after. You said she left you for some other guy and they moved across the country."
He stood up from his seat so fast that the chair had tipped backwards, hitting against my wall. He ran both of his hands over his head while he paced the small space between the table and my kitchen before he turned to me.
"No, I just told you, she broke up with me because she said I was being too clingy." He said, tripping over his words.
"But you just said she was being clingy and-"
Alex cut me off and I swore he was sniffling back tears. "Sorry, Scars but I have to go."
He bolted down my hallway and out of my apartment before I could ask him why he had to leave in a hurry. I hadn't noticed that my hands were trembling until I tried to bring my glass of water to my lips, I nearly spilled it all over myself.
I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. This doesn't mean that he killed her. He's involved with selling drugs for the mafia. After last night, I could no longer fight that. He was ruining lives, I saw how that girl reacted when she was on Z, how her body was decaying. But I wasn't ready to believe he killed Aveleen.
But he shot Declan, I argued with myself. I put my elbows on the table and rested my head in my hands, sighing in aggravation.
I spent the rest of the day mentally wrestling with myself with the fact that I now see Alex as a bad guy, there was no questioning that. But given all of the crimes that Alex is accused of, Declan is guilty of the same ones. In the story he told of the Russians attacking him and his men, Declan admitted that he killed. So why didn't I see him in the same light?
Not wanting to be trapped in my head anymore, I opened up my computer and put on some music. I tried almost every genre. I started off with my go-to screamy music, then switched to an early 2000's playlist, followed by ABBA and The Beatles but nothing worked to quiet my mind.
By eight o'clock, I was both physically and mentally exhausted. I crawled into bed and got under all of my blankets. I scrolled through my social medias laughing at a few funny things I'd found but after a while I noticed I was scrolling and not actually paying attention to anything on the screen in front of me. Before thinking it through, I opened up my text messages.
Me: Declan?
I waited.
I waited for almost an hour for a reply. Nothing. I searched instagram, Facebook, twitter, I even downloaded TikTok and LinkedIn to see if I could find him but I kept coming up with nothing. Feeling completely dejected, I locked my phone screen and shoved it under my pillow.
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