#OLASweetNemesis
Chapter 19
Standards
"Is there something bothering you, Hari?" Kuya Xavi's voice pulled me out of reverie. I pushed my gaze up at him. He had a concerned look on his face.
"Nothing, Kuya..." I hesitantly said and fixed my posture, straightening my back as I sat in front of him.
"Are you sure?" He raised a brow. "You can tell me anything. Kung may problema ka, I'd love to hear them."
I pursed my lips. He sounded so inviting that I almost allowed myself to confide in him. I clenched my fist hard and gently bit my tongue to stop myself.
Compared to his struggles, I felt like these matters of love were so trivial. I didn't want to bother or stress him out because of this. Madami siyang problemang kinakaharap na mas kailangan niyang pagtuunan ng pansin.
"Don't worry, Kuya. I'm just mapping my schedule in Thailand internally," palusot ko.
"Oh, right. I remembered your presentation. That's next week already. Ayos na ba lahat ng mga kailangan mo?" Kuya Xavi went back to his business mode.
"Yes. The flight, transfers, and rooms are already booked. Set na ang schedule ko with Ms. Ayutthaya at inayos na rin namin ang proposal," sagot ko.
"Great. Keno's coming with you, right?" he asked.
"Yeah..." bigo kong sabi. "He booked his own room and tickets."
Kuya Xavi raised a brow. "Why does it seem like you're not happy to have his company on your business trip? Is there something wrong?"
"Well, I was just wondering..." I licked my lips and heaved a sigh. "Is it really impossible for me to fire Keno?"
My cousin was vividly taken aback by my question. His brows furrowed, and deep lines appeared on his forehead. "What's wrong?" he asked. "I thought you two were already on good terms. May ginawa ba siyang hindi mo gusto?"
Well... I think he's still in love with his ex-girlfriend, and I don't like that. But I won't admit it.
"Nothing..." I stuttered and smiled nervously. "I was just thinking..."
"Thinking of how to make me fire him?" he probed.
"Of course not, Kuya!" I denied it when it was really my intention.
"I thought you liked him?" sunod niyang tanong na nagpatigil sa akin. Kuya Xavi was so nonchalant about bringing it up. "Ang sabi ni Knoa sa akin, mukhang nagkaka-developan na kayo. He told me you like Keno."
Damn you, Kuya Knoa!
"And you believe him, Kuya?" I forced a laugh out despite the nervousness taking over.
"Why wouldn't I? You know how dense I can be, and Knoa's usually the one who notices such things," he said. "He was also serious when he told me about your hidden feelings."
I swear, I'm gonna kill him! Kanino niya pa kaya pinagkalat ang nalalaman niya? He wasn't wasn't even sure, pero bakit parang ang dami ng nakakaalam? Bakit parang ang dami niyang pinagsabihan?
"Alam mo namang baliw siya minsan, 'di ba, Kuya? He's surely just trying to annoy me. Don't listen to him."
Humalukipkip ako at umirap. I tried hard not to act so annoyed. My fingers were crossed, hoping he wouldn't notice I was lying.
"I actually also didn't believe him at first, Hari. But after mulling about it, I realized he wasn't playing or lying," he seriously said. "Alam mong magkasundo kaming dalawa ni Knoa when it comes to ensuring your safety and well-being. We honestly think no one is good enough for you to be your lover or husband, but Keno will do. With him, we can always make sure you are safe and being taken care of well."
Kuya Xavi almost successfully swayed me with his words. I was on the verge of confessing and confiding in him. However, since I was determined to move on and forget the feelings I had for Keno, it was better left unsaid.
Bukod kay Faith, wala na akong ibang pagsasabihan. No one else would know that these feelings once existed... No one else would find out that I was once attracted to or... in love with Keno.
"Then that's a pity, Kuya... Hindi ko pa gusto ang napili ninyo," I said and grinned. "For now, I'm happy with Nikko's company. He's a wonderful date, and I want to get to know him more."
"Is that really what you want?" he asked.
"Yes, Kuya. Don't worry. I know what I'm doing."
Tumango-tango si Kuya Xavi. "If that's the case, then, I guess, there's really no problem with Keno being your bodyguard," sabi niya at agad napakunot ang noo ko.
What does he mean by that?
"He's our friend, Hari. We've known each other for years," he said. "I hope you understand na siya lang ang pinagkakatiwalaan namin ngayon ni Knoa. I personally asked and hired him to protect you. And as long as I don't see any reason to fire him, he'll stay with you."
I forced a smile at Kuya Xavi. We proceeded to wrap up our productive meeting. He wanted to eat a late lunch with me, but he still had a virtual meeting scheduled. Parang hindi siya nauubusan ng gagawin. He was really pushing himself.
Pagkalabas ko ay agad na tumayo si Joseph upang salubungin ako. He sported a playful grin, then pointed his lips in a certain direction. My eyes immediately followed, seeing Cess and Keno talking in the open pantry.
I was proud of myself for maintaining a neutral expression, even with the feeling of my heart wrenching inside. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa handle ng aking shoulder bag bago bumitiw at huminga nang malalim.
"I bought an extra tub of cookies for you dahil nagustuhan mo. Sakto may stock pa si Cess kaya inakyat niya agad at kahit huwag mo na raw bayaran. Hindi ko nasabing nandito ang ex niya, pero mukhang okay naman pala?" kwento ni Joseph.
"I'll go and greet Cess and thank her for the cookies," sabi ko, and I didn't know where I got the guts to face the two of them together.
Taas noo akong naglakad papalapit sa kanila. Nakasunod naman sa akin si Joseph. Bago pa man mapansin ni Keno o Cess ang pagdating ko, I wore the sweetest smile I could give at that moment.
Pansin ko ang bahagyang paglayo ni Keno kay Cess, ngunit nakita kong may hawak siyang tub ng cookies. Halos umirap ako. Good thing I managed to stop myself. I kept a smile on my face and faced Cess, who looked really flustered to see me.
"Good afternoon, Ma'am!" Cess greeted and smiled. Pansin kong medyo nanginginig pa ang mga labi niya.
Is she scared of me? Nervous? Intimidated?
"Hi!" I greeted back, all smiles. "I heard from Joseph na nilibre mo raw 'yung cookies na dapat ibibigay niya sa akin. I just wanna say thank you."
"Naku! No problem po, Ma'am. I'm happy na nagustuhan ninyo 'yung binake kong cookies," sabi niya.
"Of course! My bodyguard seems to like it so much too," makahulugan kong sabi. Sinulyapan ko si Keno at nakakunot ang kanyang noo habang nakatingin sa akin.
Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. Bakit hindi ba totoo? You don't like my cookies that much because you like hers more!
Cess blushed right away after hearing that. It was obvious how Keno could still affect her. Talaga bang ayaw niyang magkabalikan silang dalawa o mahal pa rin niya pero naduduwag lang siya?
"But I still want to pay. Nahihiya akong kuhanin ng libre," dahdag ko.
"No, Ma'am, please. I insist," she said. "Pero if free po kayo next Saturday, grand opening po ng small coffee shop ko, punta po kayo."
Tiningnan ko ulit si Keno. Nakapirmi pa rin ang titig niya sa akin. Pakiramdam ko'y hinahamon niya ako at ayaw kong magpatalo.
I initially decided not to go because I didn't want to complicate things further for my heart, but if pain was necessary for me to realize how ridiculous these feelings were, I would gladly attend. Baka kapag gano'n, mas mabilis akong makaka-move on. I needed to try any possible way there was to forget these stupid feelings. I was that desperate.
"Sure!" sagot ko at agad umaliwalas ang mukha niya sa pagpayag ko. "Can I bring a plus one? I'm gonna bring my date if he's free on that day."
"Wala pong problema! Pwedeng-pwede!" sabi niya.
"Great," I simply said, smiling sophisticatedly. "Anyway, I have to go now. Marami pa akong gagawin sa office. Mauna na kami, Cess..." Nilingon ko si Joseph at tumango rin sa kanya.
"Escort ko kayo sa elevator," presinta ni Joseph.
"Sure, thanks."
Nauna na akong naglakad papunta papunta sa elevator. Wala na akong pakialam kung magpaalam pa sila sa isa't isa. I have reached my limits for that day. That was enough. I still had to prepare for another battle next week. I needed to save my energy. I should have a lot of patience by then. I wouldn't allow them to see me affected... to see me hurting.
"Bakit ka pumayag?"
Sa gitna ng katahimikan sa loob ng elevator ay nagsalita si Keno. I looked at his expression in the mirror. He seemed so displeased, and he wasn't planning to hide it.
"Pumayag saan?" patay malisya kong tanong pabalik.
"Her invitation," he said. "At mukhang may balak ka pang isama ang chinitong 'yon."
Nagpintig na naman ang mga tenga ko sa tono ng boses niya. He sounded very rude again. I also didn't like how he called him names. Kahit na totoong chinito naman si Nikko, the way he said it was kinda insulting.
"His name is Nikko," I stressed, crossing my arms. "And it's not just a balak dahil talagang isasama ko siya if he has time for me, which he clearly always has. At saka ano naman kung pumayag akong pumunta? Ayaw mo no'n? You'll be there to celebrate your ex-girlfriend's new milestone. Kahit matagal na kayong break, you still won't miss it. And besides, I'm sure, ininvite ka rin niya."
Halos umirap ako nang muling nag-iwas ng tingin sa kanya. Sasagot pa sana siya nang bumukas ang pintuan ng elevator. May tatlong empleyadong pumasok kaya hindi pinigilan niya muna ang sariling makipagtalo sa akin.
However, once we were in the basement parking lot, walking to his car, he didn't waste a second. Sinigurado niyang magkasabay kami sa paglalakad, matching my pace.
"You're right. She did invite me, but I kindly said no," sabi niya na para bang dapat ko siyang pasalamatan. Should I give him an award then?
"What now? Do you regret saying no?" I asked. "Alam mo, you can take a leave if you want to. It's fine with me. Papayagan kita. You don't have to turn her down. Sayang ang opportunity. Malay mo, it's your key to a second chance."
"Second chance?" ulit niya. "At sino ang nagsabing naging kami?"
Binilisan ko lalo ang lakad nang makita ko ang sasakyan upang hindi ko siya sagutin. Halos takbuhin ko 'yon, ngunit naalala kong na kay Keno nga pala ang key fob. Hindi rin ako makakatakas sa kanya kaya binagalan ko na lang din kalaunan.
"Si Joseph. Kwento sa kanya 'yon mismo ni Cess kaya huwag mo nang subukang itago sa akin. Okay lang naman, eh. It's very normal to have a relationship," sabi ko naman at hinarap siya dahil 'di niya pa rin binubuksan ang pinto ng passenger's seat. "Back in high school, madami ring nanliligaw sa akin. I had fleeting crushes, too, pero na-realize kong hindi pala sila pasok sa high standards ko."
"High standards?"
"Yes."
"Is that why you were once involved in a relationship with a dickhead? Ayon na 'yung high standards mo? Really?" Keno let out a sarcastic laugh.
My eyes widened at his clapback. I wasn't prepared for that, and I felt so offended. I didn't expect him to bring that up. Hindi ko magawang barahin dahil totoo naman. Kahit ako, hindi ko alam kung ano ang sumapi sa akin at pumayag akong makipag-date sa kanya, more so be his girlfriend.
"I didn't even like him that much, okay? I dated him 'cause I thought he was fun!" I reasoned. "And why are we suddenly talking about my ex? Hindi ba't nasa ex mo ang topic natin?"
"Because you were talking about having high standards, and I just wanna remind you that your ex-boyfriend is an asshole," he calmly argued.
"Oh my gosh, are we really arguing about my standards?" I can't believe him. "Kapag sinabi ko bang gusto kita, maniniwala ka nang mataas ang standards ko sa lalaki?"
Before I knew it, I had already spilled a part of the truth I had been hiding inside my heart. My lips parted, and my eyes widened when I realized what I had just said, lalo na nang makita ko ang parehong gulat sa mga mata niya.
Damn it! Think, Hariette!
"You..."
"Pero hindi kita gusto ah. I don't like you. Gulat ka ba? Akala mo totoo?" nanghahamon kong sabi at nagtaas ng kilay kahit parang hindi ko na rin alam ang pinagsasasabi ko. I even smirked just to act tough. I just needed to cut him. Ayaw kong marinig ang sasabihin niya. Baka mamaya ay i-reject niya ako when it wasn't even a proper confession. "Don't take it to heart. Baka seryosohin mo. I'm just citing an example scenario to make a point because you don't believe that I have high standards."
Unti-unting nanliit ang kanyang mga mata while I made excuses to save my ass. I shouldn't really get worked up in front of him. Baka next time ay kung ano na ang masabi ko.
"Anyway, can we go now? Madami pa akong gagawin," reklamo ko.
While his eyes were still on me, he pressed on the key fob to unlock the doors. Agad ko siyang tinalikuran para pumasok na sa loob ng sasakyan.
I bit my lip and released a deep exhale, trying to calm my heart. That was close... Pero paano kung iniisip niyang gusto ko talaga siya? I needed to make sure he wouldn't have those thoughts.
Pagkapasok ni Keno sa sasakyan ay agad niya itong pinaandar. I cleared my throat, causing me to get his attention. Binitiwan niya ang handbrake saka ako nilingon. Nagtaas naman ako ng kilay at binalingan siya.
"Like I said, I can give you a day off on the opening of her shop. Kasama ko naman no'n si Nikko. I don't need a bodyguard then. I'm sure he can protect me—"
"That will never happen."
Keno's certainty caught me off guard as he abruptly stopped me from finishing my sentence. He stared straight into my eyes, making all my senses focus on him. The outside noises were suddenly blocked out when I shifted my gaze to his lips. I anticipated every word that would come out of his mouth, hearing everything clearly.
"I don't need a day off."
"But—"
"I won't let him take my job, Hari," he said, sounding very determined to keep his spot. "I'm sorry, but I don't want him or anyone else protecting you."