After 2049282 years i have updated! Wooo!
Wolf: And have you learnt anything this Christmas, Ria?
Ria: ...Not really.
Wolf: Nothing?
Ria: Tell you one thing I have learnt—Christmas; ultimately, commercial holiday. Who's the real winner at Christmas? Amazon. they have drones now! Tiny little dystopian slaves delivering iPads and headphones. I ordered a toaster; It was on the doorstep five hours later! Do we need that? It was 4.99! For a toaster! I mean, someone's being exploited there.
*Ruby is reading a Clifford The Big Red Dog book*
Wolf, watching: How did he get to be so big? Do they ever explain that?
Ruby: Well, Emily's love for him grew, and so did he.
Wolf: Well, your dog is pretty small. Guess that says something about you, huh?
Ruby, angrily shutting their book: YOU'RE SMALL! WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS?!?!
(Jail 💀)
Wolf: I hate Ruby.
Ria: "Hate' is a strong word.
Wolf: I have strong opinions.
Ruby: If I can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, I think my body will shut down.
Wolf: Is this gaslighting? Am I being gaslit?
Kel: If I were gaslighting you, you'd never know it.
Wolf: Is THAT gaslighting?
Kel: Shut up.
Kel: I'm the smartest, wisest person in this group.
Ruby: Really? Then why is your hand stuck in a vending machine?
Kel: I paid for my Mars Bar, I'm getting my Mars Bar.
(THIS IS CANON)
Ria: I'm a multitasker!
Ria: I can disappoint fifteen people at once.
Kel: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?
Ruby: It's not water.
Kel: Vodka! I like your sty-
Ruby: It's vinegar.
Kel: ...What?
Ruby: It's vinegar, PUSSY.
Wolf: I can never give Ruby shit because I'm jealous of them. They look at their life and say, "Sweet! This is perfect!"
Wolf: I look at my life and say, "Welp. Time to get drunk."
(This generator hates u 😭)
Ria: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?
Kel: wHat?
Ria: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Kel: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?
Ruby: The saying "it is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission" no longer applies to Ria.
Ruby: Wolf just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then they reached down and untied my shoe.
(This would happen)
Ria: What, in the name of sanity, have you got on your head?
Kel: It's a fez, I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.
Wolf: *snatches the fez, throws it in the air*
Ria: *shoots it*
Ruby, to Kel: Are you peanuts? Because I want to boil you alive.
(I would never😭)
Wolf: Ruby, I got suspended from school...
Ruby: WHAT?!?! What did you do?
Wolf: My teacher pointed at me with a ruler, and he said "there is an idiot at the end of this ruler".
Ruby: And...?
Wolf: I asked which end...
Ruby, unable to contain their laughter: Okay, you just made my day.
Das it bye XD