"So I'm going to see you in two days right?" Jamie asked, he was just about to leave for New Jersey for the Stadium Series game against the Devils.
"Yeah, I'll be there." I replied. I was oddly really nervous about it. I don't know if I was more nervous about being there and wearing that sweater, or meeting quite literally everyone, or if it was about the sleeping arrangements that the girls had mentioned time and time again.
"Are you sure you want to come? You don't seem too excited about it?" He asked, resting his hands gently on my hips.
"Yeah, I'm positive, I'm just a little nervous." I told him, now resting my hands on the inside of his elbows.
"What are you nervous about?" He asked.
"Meeting everyone. I know I've met the girls, but no one else, and I don't even think all of the girls have been there when I was those couple times, but I don't know. What if they don't like me?" I asked him, my words just flowing one after the other, starting to ramble on.
"They're going to like you, not to mention it doesn't matter if they like you or not. I like you." He said. That's the first time either one of us have used one of the L words.
"Really?" I asked, finally only now looking him in the eyes. I let a small smile come through, and all the breath from my lungs let out. He quite literally took my breath away.
"Yeah, you're amazing." He said, smiles all around.
"You're amazing." I returned.
"Well, then, we're going to be perfect together some day." He said. Some day?
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course." He replied.
"Are you seeing anyone else? Like, are you hooking up with anyone else, or going on any dates with anyone else? Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just haven't and honestly that's not something I want to get into. If you're going to see me, I'd rather it just be me because,-"
"Stop, stop right there. Bella, I am not seeing anyone else. I'm seeing you. I don't want to put any labels on anything because we're not moving fast, we're dating, we're not boyfriend-girlfriend level yet. I'm okay with moving slow, I can wait until you're ready. I don't want to rush you, you said a couple weeks ago that you don't want to rush into anything and I respect that because I respect you. I'm waiting, I'm going to continue to wait for you until you're ready to make that step." He had a soft smile, a comforting smile.
"I'm worth all that?" I asked.
"You're worth more than that. I will wait 10 years for you if that's what you need. But, I won't watch you go off be with some other guy who won't treat you as well as I can and would. I won't watch you go hook up with random guys because you just feel like it. If you need a random hook up, you call me." He said, letting out a small laugh again. "Now, breathe. Let it out. Calm your nerves." I did as he said, letting out a long and deep breath that I barely even realized I had been holding in.
"I'll wait for you as long as you need." I said.
"I'm ready whenever you are. You don't need to wait for me for nothing because I'm here, ready willing and able." He paused for a second, looking me in the eyes, searching for something. "Come here." He whispered, voice low. He moved his arms from my hips and slid them around my waist, pulling me close to him and resting his chin atop my head. He felt like home, not some far away home that I have to fly to or drive 12 hours to, home that I can have here. A home in Philadelphia that I've only ever felt a few times before.
"I'll be ready soon." I whispered, barely above silent, I wasn't even sure he heard me until I could feel his chest vibrating.
"Take your time, sweet girl." He whispered. "I hate to do this, but I really have to go." He said after a couple minutes of just standing in each others arms. This was my new favourite place, and I didn't want him to let go, I didn't want to let him go. The feel of his skin on mine, his minty breath mixing with mine. He was slowly turning into everything.
"Okay, I'll see you in a couple days then." I replied, leaning away from his chest and looking him in the eyes. I moved to my tip toes, slowly leaning in and placing my lips onto his soft ones.
"What was that for?" He asked after I pulled away, both of us breathless.
"I didn't want you to go away without that. Is that okay?" I asked.
"I've been wanting to do that for a month and a half." He said, leaning down and kissing me again. "I'll see you in a couple days." He said, pulling away and getting into his car. I stood on the steps of my apartment watching him drive off, only going back inside once his car was out of sight. I sat down on the floor, sliding down the door and leaning my back against it. That was our first kiss. It was the best kiss I have ever experienced. His lips were soft, I don't think I can describe it but they were somehow caring? I could feel that he truly cared for me as his lips touched mine.
---
"This place is huge." I said as I walked into the stadium, looking around with the other girls.
"This is insane, I can't believe they get to play here tonight." Karly said as we all looked up at the amount of seats were in the stadium. The family skate was starting in an a few minutes, the guys were finishing up their practice and getting some team photos done as we were figuring out our surroundings. We were all already wearing our matching sweaters with the guy's number and last names on them, they were honestly really cute and comfy. Karly did a really good job with these. At least I'm pretty sure it was Karly, no one ever really told me.
"So, how are things going between you two? Any new updates since we last saw you?" Taylor asked, linked her arm with mine.
"We kissed for the first time before he left for here, but that's about it." I replied, not really thinking much of it. I mean, it's just a kiss, right?
"So are you guys official yet?" Carlie asked.
"No, not yet, we're taking things very slow." I told her. "He told me that we're dating but not boyfriend-girlfriend level yet, and that he's willing to wait for me until I'm ready to make that step."
"Really? Girl, you have him wrapped around your finger. He keeps looking over here and smiling, I can see it." Taylor said. The two girls had actually become really good friends of mine. We had a separate group chat with Katie as well, the group of younger girls per se. Not to say the other girls were old, they were just a bit older than us.
"I don't know about that." I said, shaking my head and looking down at the ground.
"Family and friends if you want to start getting your skates on if you're going on ice that would be super helpful and fantastic, we're going to start in less than five minutes." A girl said, coming over to the group of us on the sidelines. We all found the benches and sat down, putting on our skates, it didn't take long for the guys to finish up their pictures and come skating over, helping their family and friends onto the ice. Jamie b lined it straight to me, reaching out his hands for me to take. I gladly did, having him steady my onto the ice.
"So how good of a skater are you?" He asked, not even saying hello.
"I'm better than you." I said, scrunching up my face to him and moving my head side to side quickly just to tease him a little bit.
"Oh really? So if I let go of your hands right now, you'd be able to skate without stumbling down to me?" He asked, smirking proudly at me, not just proud, there was a hint of cockiness in there as well.
"Maybe not, maybe you should keep holding on." I said, trying not to laugh now.
"I can do that, I'll hold on as long as you want me to." He said. I could tell there was a double meaning behind it. "I also really like your sweater." He winked at me.
"Thanks, I think I like it too." I said, smiling. Katie passed by with Tyson and gave me a small nod, overhearing the comment about the sweater, I laughed a little bit and Jamie gave me a confused look. "Nothing." I said to him.
"I think you should wear this sweater more often now that you have it, make sure everyone knows that you're taken." He said.
"Oh, I'm taken now am I?"
"Well, yeah, I mean. Unless you don't want to be, I can take that back, you don't have to be taken. I mean, you're not seeing anyone else, I thought we talked about that the other day?" He asked, his words coming out jumbled together, almost like one big long word.
"I'm taken. By you. And only you." I said, taking one of my hands away from his and lifting it to his check, resting my cold palm on his surprisingly warm skin.
"Are you about to kiss me right now?" Jamie asked, a smirk playing on his lips.
"I was going to, but now because you're basically asking I don't think I will anymore." I said. He was skating backwards, guiding me around the rink, we had barely even done a lap of the 200 foot rink.
"You still could though." He said, smiling brightly.
"Yeah, I could." I said, shrugging my shoulders a little bit. Jamie scoffed at me, and immediately stopped skating, me not knowing how to stop properly, ran into his chest. He put a steadying arm around my back t keep me from slipping and falling, which frankly in this environment would be very embarrassing.
"You still could though." He repeated, his face closing in on mine, getting closer and closer, my heart rate starting to go faster and faster. "I make you nervous don't I?" He asked softly, our lips so close to touching. It was all I wanted in the moment, I wanted him to kiss me, I wanted that feeling again, even though it had only been two days I missed the thrill it gave me.
"And what if I do?" I asked him, trying to make my voice sound confident, but I knew it was shaking, bouncing up and down.
"I'd like it, I don't know about you." He said, now it was his turn to shrug his shoulders.
"I would too." I said, finally my vote coming out with a little bit more power, but still quietly. He let go of one of my hands and moved it to the back of my head, slowing his fingers tracing in the roots of my hair. He pulled my face closer to him and attached his lips softly to mine. I rested my hands on his torso, not really knowing where to put them. I wasn't used to being shown off like this, on an ice rink, with so many people around and probably cameras, and he's not even my boyfriend but he's not afraid to make sure everyone around knows I'm with him and he's with me.
"I like kissing you." He said, voice still soft and calm as he slowly moved away from my lips.
"Bella, come over here we're taking a sweater picture!" One of the girls yelled, I wasn't even looking so I couldn't tell who it was by their voice yet.
"Coming!" I yelled back, still less than inches away from Jamie's lips, I kissed him one more time, this time it was smooth and quick, before effortlessly skating away to the girls. We took a couple group pictures, a couple of us all facing forward, and then a couple turned around to show off the names and numbers on our sweaters.
"Bella, I know you're not official but is it okay with you if we post this and tag you?" Karly asked as we all started to break away.
"Oh yeah, that's fine I don't care." I said. "It's cute, I'll probably post it to." I said, laughing a little bit.
"Okay, sounds good, I'll send it to the group chat!" She announced happily and then skated over to her husband. I went back over to Jamie, who was happily watching on the sidelines.
"You look so damn good." He mumbled, just loud enough for me to hear.
"You look really good with that eye black. I could get used to the tough guy look." I said, reaching out my hands for him again.
"I don't know if you need my hands you seemed to be doing pretty good yourself."
"I may not need them, but I want them." I replied. He shook head head, laughing to himself a little bit and grabbed one of my hands, intertwining our fingers and beginning to skate again. We kept talking and skating around for the remaining hour before it was time to get off the ice for the Devils. I went back to my hotel room, I had my own for the two nights which I was okay with, I didn't have to hang out with the girls and the big crowd, big crowds were never my favourite, especially when there was no one I was super close with and comfortable with yet.
I stayed in my room alone for most of the night, I read and watched stuff, the girls were texting me trying to get me to come out but they were with their boys too, and I didn't want people to ask questions, it just seemed awkward. I still felt a little out of place from everything. I finally got off the bed once there was a knock on the door. I walked over and opened it up to find Jamie on the other side.
"Hey." I said, trying to swallow the smile that was about to grow on my face. I didn't want him to know that just seeing him made me happy.
"Hey, I haven't seen you without a sweater on yet, you have tattoos?" He asked, pushing past me and into the room.
"Come on in I guess." I said, closing the door behind him. "But yes, I have tattoos, I have 21 tattoos."
"Can I see them all?" He asked, shyly. I was wearing shorts and a t shirt, so he could see most of them this way.
"Sure." I said. I started pointing at them all, the vine going around my wrist, the three random flowers I had on my arms, the ghost holding a coffee cup, the dragon on my hip, the butterfly on my shoulder, the cowboy boot on my ankle, the Saturn on my arm. I then turned around to he was looking at my back, and lifted my shirt up only enough for him to see the snake and flowers going up my spine. Then I turned around and kept my breasts covered but showed the dagger that curved on my ribs. There was still a couple smaller ones that I had everywhere, that I showed him, he was silent the whole time, I couldn't tell what he was feeling, if he liked that I had them or if he was really turned off by it.
"I love them." He said, it was the softest and most gentle, maybe even the most genuine I had heard him speak up to this point. He brought a hand up and ran his calloused finger tips over every single one of them. His touch was soft, almost like if he touched too hard he was going to hurt me. "Did they hurt?"
"Not really, I have an oddly high pain tolerance. I want to get small ones on my hand." I told him, lifting up my currently bare right hand.
"What would you get?" He asked.
"I think I'd keep the vine going up my hand and onto my middle finger, maybe do a couple sparkles or small things like that on the other fingers and then I want something here too where my thumb meets the wrist." I said, looking my hand over.
"I think you should do it. Especially the middle finger, you could flip people off elegantly." He said, smiling.
"That's exactly what I've been telling people why I want to when they ask." I said, letting out a laugh. He understands me so much already, he knows what I want and why I do things anyway.
"See we're already one and the same." He said, resting his hands on my hips and pulling me close, I stood in between his legs as he was sitting on the edge of the bed. I set my hands gently on his shoulders, slowing inching them to the back of his neck, my fingers caressing the nape of his neck, fingertips getting tangled in the ends of his hair.
"I like your hair." I whispered, slowing moving my hands up and through, it was soft and there wasn't a single tangle in it.
"You can run your fingers through it any time you want." He said. I gladly took the opportunity and traced my fingers along every pathway possible through his hair, touching every strand I could. Jamie closed his eyes, moving his head in the direction my fingers went, my hand came up he followed, I moved to the left, so did he. It was like magnets. "Do you want to watch a movie or something? Go downstairs and get a drink?" He asked after a few minutes of silence, just our movements.
"I could use a drink." I replied. Before I could step away to put my sweatpants on overtop of my shorts, Jamie pulled me back into him, standing up and leaning down to kiss me. I smiled into the kiss, but I wasn't about to put my guard down yet. "I have to put pants on." I said, managing to get away from his grip, what I could only describe as a protective grip. I grabbed my sweatpants from my bag in the corner and slid them on overtop of my spandex shorts, it only took seconds for us to be making our way downstairs to the bar.
"Hey, what can I get you guys?" The bartender asked.
"Can I get a Budweiser, and a rum and coke please." Jamie ordered. The bartender nodded and grabbed us our drinks. I took a sip of my rum and coke and savoured the burn of the alcohol running down my throat. We sat and talked for an hour or so, only having the one drink each before Jamie walked me back up to my room.
"This is it for the night I guess?" I asked as we made it to the door.
"I guess so, I have to get to bed before the game tomorrow." He said, picking up my hand and fiddling with my fingers in his.
"Tomorrow's going to be fun for you." I said.
"It will be, and I'll be excited to come back to Philly and hang out with you for a couple days before going off to Chicago." He said.
"When do you leave for Chicago?" I asked, not looking him in the eyes.
"Tuesday, the game is on Wednesday." He replied. "Then we'll be back later that night for a few more days." I finally looked up at him, making eye contact that he was clearly waiting for.
"I really like you, Jamie." I said after a moment of quiet.
"I really like you too." He replied. "I'll give you the world if you let me." His voice came out as a whisper.
"I'll let you, eventually. I just don't want you to get bored of chasing after someone who's not ready for a relationship quite yet."
"I won't get bored. Especially if I still get to kiss you, and hang out with you. I'll be here for you. Just don't lead me on to let me go." He said.
"I won't. I can promise you that for sure." I said. I brought myself up to my tip toes and gave him a light kiss on the cheek.
"You missed." He said lightly and leaned down to kiss me with force on the lips. We stood there, against the door of my hotel room, just kissing for a couple minutes.
"You should go to bed." I said eventually. He nodded and pulled me into a tight hug.
"I should, and so should you." He whispered, words muffled by my hair. He kissed me one more time before saying goodnight, he didn't walk away until my door was closed and he knew I was safely inside.
I hated this, I hated how he was making me feel so quickly.
I was already falling in love with this man.