Alexa groggily opened her eyes, she laid still for a moment, almost debating going back to sleep. An ache in her bladder kept her awake however, she laid still for a moment, procrastinating having to get out of the bed.
She was about to roll over to her side to wake Daisy up, when she realised that Lottie was missing- this piqued her interest. Abandoning the thought of waking Daisy up, she shifted herself over to Lottie's side, getting herself up. Alexa tucked her messy hair behind her eyes, before shuffling over to the bathroom.
What she had expected was to hear the sound of the faucet, or the toilet flushing, instead she heard crying. Her mouth fell slightly open, and she looked back at the bed, debating whether it was best to sleep and pretend she never heard anything.
The twinge she felt was enough to keep her stationary however.
Staying at the bathroom door was one thing, but making her presence known was another, so she sat against the bathroom door. She leaned her head against the wood, still feeling rather sleepy.
She was grateful that her need wasn't that dire, but it was becoming slightly uncomfortable on the floor. Something she hadn't expected was the door to open so abruptly, catching the pair both by surprise. Her half conscious mind wasn't able to connect with her body, and she found herself falling back onto the floor, her upside eyes met Lottie's.
It was obvious to see that Lottie had been crying, even if she hadn't heard the sounds. "Hi." Alexa awkwardly forced out, as she was helped back up into her sitting position.
Alexa picked herself back up off the floor, "what are you doing awake?" Lottie questioned, her voice strained.
"I need the bathroom." The girl replied, looking over at the toilet. The blonde scanned the girls face, she couldn't find any questioning looks on it, just an impatient one. Lottie nodded her head, moving to help the girl.
The girl swore she could feel her heart pound against her chest, given how silent the room was, saliva pooled in her mouth.
She was since used to this process moreover, not even a blush forming on her cheeks at the sound, and before she knew it was she was washing her hands. Alexa watched as the soap suds washed down into the sink, staring intently even as the water began to run clear.
"Think it's time to dry your hands now sweetie." Lottie spoke, holding out a towel for the girl, Alexa paused before nodding. She held her hands out to be dried, and she couldn't help but look up at the blondes face. It was in the light that she was able to see how puffy it was, how red it had become.
Not wanting to be caught, she had reverted her gaze. "All clean." Lottie deemed, tossing the damp cloth onto the counter, deciding it was much too late to deal with it now, that would be a job for morning Lottie.
The pair went back into the room, both settling themselves into the bed. Alexa knew she couldn't lay there in silence, she couldn't push down what she had heard, especially when she was pressed against the blonde. Lottie was playing with the girls hair, making Alexa almost fall asleep right there and then.
"Mama?" She whispered, looking up towards Lottie, hardly being able to make her out in the darkness. From what she could see, Lottie was looking back down at her, having a slight vantage point.
"Yes?"
The words came out weak, "why were you crying?", the questioned weighed heavy in the room. Lottie had opened her mouth in an attempt to answer, only to close it promptly after, for a moment at least, feeling rather on edge.
"It's just a week of very hard anniversaries for mama." She had decided on, she had paused stroking the girls hair, continuing after her words.
Alexa's brows knitted in confusion, "anniversaries?"
"Yes, anniversaries." She confirmed, "It marks the days that very important dates took place in the past." Lottie enlightened the girl. Alexa felt heat rush to her face, at how her question had been misperceived.
"What days?" Alexa enquired, maybe she should've shut her mouth, but her curiosity reigned over fear- at least for sleepy Alexa.
A sad smile was on Lottie's face, forcing composure for the girl. "One of them was the day that my dad became an angel." She carefully curated her phrasing. Realisation washed over Alexa, who curled herself further into Lottie, providing the only comfort that she knew. She thought about what she would've wanted to have been done to her, if she was crying over her own fathers death.
There was still the unknown other day however, the pluralisation left her wondering. "What about the other?" Alexa was surprised at her own question, and she could feel Lottie's body tense, being so close against her.
"You know how your mama's baby?" The girl nodded at this, confused as to where this was going.
"Well before you were my baby, me and mommy had another baby, except this one was in my stomach." Now it was Alexa's time to stiffen, but Lottie's touch didn't halt this time, sustaining her consolation even in the tense moment.
Tears welled in the girls eyes, she simply let them sit there, blurring her vision. "I'm sorry." She murmured, closing her eyes as she buried her face into Lottie. Alexa felt pathetic, it was Lottie's woe, and yet here she was crying about it. She couldn't stop the tears that flowed freely, so many thoughts and feelings hitting her at once.
"It's okay, I promise time heals all wounds, even if they still ache sometimes."
Alexa pulled her face away, swallowing before nodding. "I love you."
For the first time, the words bore complete honesty, and being truthful for once almost felt nice.
~~~
After the night they had, it shouldn't have been a surprise that Lottie needed a day to herself, but Alexa was still rather confused when Daisy had woken her up. "Where's mama?" She had asked, having become acquainted to Lottie waking her up, whilst Daisy was preparing breakfast.
"She's just dealing with some things, but she'll be back later." Daisy had reassured, smoothing the girls hair. Now the girl found herself sitting on the counter, not quite fully awake, but not quite asleep.
The girl was rather confused, "why didn't you make breakfast before waking me up?" She sleepily questioned- yawning moments after.
Usually, she was never this sleepy- not anymore at least. It had been hard to fall asleep after her ordeal with Lottie however, she was afraid that Lottie would cry again, and that she wouldn't be awake to comfort her.
"I thought that you could pick breakfast, sweetie." Daisy answered, "plus I'm sure you'd fall face first into it, if you were eating right now."
Alexa gave her best tired glare, but it quickly lost its bite when she caught her reflection in the toaster. Wearing pyjama pants that had become uneven, one of them stopping at the knee, whereas the other still remained full length. The first words dawned on her, and she skimmed her teeth with the back of her tongue, a vague minty taste remaining.
She'd never been specifically allowed to choose a meal before, and she knew she could ask for anything within reason.
"Cereal?" She requested, catching Daisy by surprise with the meagre request. It was rather silly, or at least Alexa thought so, but her and Allison used to always eat cereal together. It had started shortly after Allison had moved in, her sister lacked cooking skills, and so each morning she would present Alexa with a bowl of cereal. The girl never let on the fact that she could cook breakfast for the pair, the cereal routine was repetitive, but it was theirs nonetheless.
"Of course cereal, we've got.." Daisy paused, opening the cabinet, "cheerios, lucky charms." Her words were cut off.
"Lucky charms please."
The answer had been immediate, no more questions about it. She watched as Daisy grabbed the red unopened box, before grabbing two bowls from the cabinet, she gave two generous pours into each bowl.
Milk soon followed afterwards, until the simple delicacy had been made. A spoon in each, the purple spoon immediately giving away which bowl was Alexa.
"Can we eat them in here..please?" Daisy had been about to carry the bowls into the dining room, when she had been stopped by a hopeful eyes. Usually eyes that looked up, were now levelled with her own, and she could see the pleading within them.
"You might accidentally drop the bowl, sorry angel." She reasoned.
Alexa wasn't gonna give in so quickly however, "can we eat on the kitchen floor?", her odd request left Daisy thoroughly confused. "I can't drop the bowl it if it's on the floor, mommy." She justified, a smile creeping on her lips.
The smile was matched by the brunette, "I guess we're having breakfast on the floor, like Cooper does." She gave a sigh, although she seemed amused by the proposition.
So that's how the pair found themselves, Daisy sitting in a much more respectable criss-cross position, whereas Alexa laid on her stomach. The flooring wasn't the most uncomfortable for her elbow, but she wanted to rest her head on her hand. She swirled the cereal around in the bowl, taking a careless mouthful of lucky charms.
"You've left all the marshmallows." Daisy commented, "do you not like them, sweetie?" She questioned. The girl's lack of interest in the colourful pieces surprised her, Alexa looked down at her bowl, she hadn't meant to leave them.
It was more so of a habit, Allison liked to steal Alexa's marshmallows.
"I do." Alexa spoke, making sure to get a spoonful of the now soggy marshmallows, before taking the spoon in her mouth. "See." She said with her mouth full, a dribble of milk going down her chin. She shut her mouth, attempting to restrain her laughter at Daisy's face, more milk escaped as she cracked a wider smile.
Daisy pulled her sleeve over her hand, leaning over to wipe the girl's mouth. "Gonna have to teach you some manners sometime, missy."
The girl shook her head, leaning her head down to get away from Daisy's touch. She was going to go back to eating her own cereal, but then she had a better idea.
Retracting her elbow from the floor, she shifted herself forward slightly, reaching over to the woman's bowl with her right hand. She used her spoon to successfully take two of her marshmallows, giggling as she pulled the spoon back, sliding it into her mouth.
"Oh, now we definitely have to teach you manners." Daisy teased, she took the spoon from the girl's hand, which she had loosened her grip on, during her moment of laughter.
"That's my spoon!" The girl complained, furrowing her brows.
Daisy got some cereal from the girl's respective bowl, putting it to her lips. "Now you can't steal, problem solved."
~~
Glitter, glue, pens, pencils, card.
She hadn't expected the cardmaking process to be so extravagant, or well maybe she should've expected it, everything was always blasted to the max, even if it extended to making a card. "What if we make a mess?" Alexa enquired, eyeing all the things on the table.
"You're sounding like mama, it's okay if you make a mess, we can just clean it." Daisy shrugged it off, Alexa nodded, reaching over for a piece of card- a red piece.
The whole day had felt almost unreal for the girl, or well the whole day so far. It hadn't even struck noon yet, and the day already felt like she was in her own wonderland of sorts.
"We can do whatever you want." Daisy had told Alexa, who looked rather skeptical at the proposition, being allowed to decide so much for the day. "Mama's always here, today's just us two, so we're having a fun day." She had justified. The girl hadn't known what else to do, so she suggested making a card, which led them to the current moment.
Alexa looked at the card, deciding what she wanted to do, this had to be perfect.
It had to be perfect, because if it wasn't then she was ungrateful. After what lottie had done for her, she needed to repay her in the only way she knew how, bubble writing and glitter.
Deciding to leave the card unfolded, she picked up a pencil, devising a plan in her head. "You're quite the perfectionist, princess, it's just a card." Daisy humoured, but she didn't get it.
The girl waved off the comments, Daisy wouldn't be saying anything once she saw how great it all looked, then she would merely be jealous. With a careful hand, she began on her bubble letters, being careful at every curve.
When she had reached the second M, she had lost her balance, groaning in frustration, whilst she aggressively used an eraser to repair her mistakes.
She felt stressed, and she didn't exactly know why, but every touch of the pencil left a pang in her stomach. It almost felt weird, how peaceful and silent the room was, when she was entirely different on the inside. Alexa gripped the pencil, some of her knuckles turning white at the contact, as she wrote out the final 'A'.
The glue proposed entirely new stress, she picked up the bottle, "can you open it for me mommy?" She asked. The chances of getting glue on her hands was disdaining, so she looked over at Daisy, who extended her hand to take the glue.
It was soon passed back over, the girl bit her tongue as she covered the inside of each bubble letter, carefully outlining the glue. She grabbed a bottle of silver glitter, she had attempted to take the cover off it.
Key word attempted.
Her force proved to be too aggressive for the bottle, with one hard pull, the glitter had been opened, but it was spread all over the card. The girl stared down in silence for a moment, her heart fluttering as she saw her destruction, she had ruined it. This wasn't how she wanted it, she silver glitter spawn carelessly across the page, it looked tacky, it wasn't perfect.
Tears formed in her eyes, which then met with Daisy's. "It's okay, mama's going to love it regardless." She attempted to comfort, but the girl shook her head, glaring through tears.
"It's horrible!" Alexa stated, leaning back in her chair, feeling defeated. "It's horrible- and she's gonna hate it!"
She slumped down, a burning in her body, the card meant so much more than a mere card. Daisy was soon to get up from her chair, kneeling beside the girl, who was biting down on her lip, hoping for the intensive bodily feeling to stop.
What brought the girl back to the moment, was feeling a thumb at her bottom lip, gently trying to pull it away from her mouth. Alexa opened her mouth, her lip being released. "No need to cry, it's okay, we can still fix it." Daisy reassured.
Why didn't she get it?
Alexa couldn't help but stomp her foot on the ground, as tears rolled down her face, the tears almost feeling nice against her warm face. "It looks terrible, and she's gonna hate it, and then she's gonna hate me- and i'm just terrible." The girl muttered.
"She's not going to hate it, nor is she going to hate you, she loves you so much Lexie." Daisy told Alexa, "where would you even get such a silly idea?"
"Elise." Alexa whispered.
"Elise told you that?" Daisy's tone turned more stern. The tone hadn't been directed towards the girl, but Alexa couldn't help but shrink down in her chair, more tears forming in her eyes. Alexa shook her head, "it's okay you can tell me."
Except, Alexa didn't know if she could tell her, and that was the worst part.
The girl shook her head once more, "I'm ungrateful." Alexa answered, it was the only thing she could think to say.
Daisy cupped the girl's face, making the girl stare in her eyes. "Where would you get such a silly idea? of course you're not ungrateful, Alexa talk to me."
Alexa let in a shuddery breath, everything was becoming too much, and her ability to come up with excuses was wearing thin.
"Because mama saved my sister, and I can't even make her a stupid card!", she jerked her head back, away from Daisy's hand. She covered her face with her hands, almost folding over on herself, sobs running through her.