Esi stood with her towel wrapped tightly around her, observing her room. Clothes were strewn across her bed and her desk. It was five past 6 which meant that she had ten minutes to head down to her car if she wanted to get to dinner on time. She still hadn't made up her mind about her clothes, but at least she had already forced her hair into a sleek yet wavy bun.
She'd filled in her brows, swept some mascara on her lashes and colored her lips with a matt copper-brown color and a dab of nude in the middle.
"You have plans tonight?"Lena asked, walking into her room. Her roommate must have just woken up. She wore a black onesie that complimented her inky bob.
"Yea," Esi answered. "Just trying to figure out what to wear."
Her friend sidled up next to her and observed the clothes.
"Looks a bit fancy...got a date?" She asked flippantly. As if the question didn't have many implications. What she really wanted to know was if she and Porte had somehow reconciled.
"Not a date... just helping a friend out with a project," Esi said.
Lena walked closer to the bed and pointed. "With these kinds of outfits?" She gave Esi an incredulous look. "Babe, just a friend?" Lena didn't believe her.
Esi shrugged. "Yes. Just a friend," she said. "He lives out in Westport so I'm thinking it might require more than jeans."
"Westport," Lena mused over the word slowly, like she was trying to place it. "That's a bougie area...who lives there?"
Esi hesitated, not because she didn't want to tell her, but because she knew what Lena would think.
Lena narrowed her eyes at Esi, the wheels turning in her head.
"That's a very wealthy area, Elizabeth...who lives there?"
"I'm going to help Luke with a project," she answered.
"Luke?" Lena mused over the name, trying to place a face to the name.
Esi sighed. "Luka Danvers."
She had looked away to avoid eye contact.
"Luka Danvers as in Porte Danvers' brother?" Lena asked, eyes bugging out.
Esi pretended to fiddle with the outfits that lay on her bed, pretending to decide which one she was going to wear.
"Esi..." her friend said softly, pulling her attention towards her. She could hear the empathy in Lena's voice.
"It's really not what you think," Esi protested to her friend.
"It's been weeks, Esi...I know that I was pushing this so hard because you don't put yourself first," Lena started. "And you deserve to be spoiled to be put on a pedestal...I thought he would've done that."
She had finally turned to look at Lena, and she saw the fierceness in her friend's eyes as she spoke about her wishes for Esi.
"I hadn't seen you be that flustered...so filled with glee in a long time. I just wanted you to open up yourself," Lena stood and folded her arms, perching against Esi's desk. "But he doesn't get to disappear on you like that, and I won't let you go after him like this."
The first feeling that Esi felt was offense. Yes, she knew that her friend was looking out for her, but it seemed as if she thought that Esi was spineless. That she would go crawling after Porte.
"Give me some credit, Lena." Her temper rose slightly. "Andrew may have made a fool out of me, but he didn't break me. I still have some sort of pride."
Esi saw when her friend ran her tongue across her teeth, trying to hold in a remark.
"I am not running behind Porte," she said and she saw when Lena visibly deflated. "Plus, I told Luke that I won't come if he's there, and he assured me that he wouldn't be there."
Lena scoffed. "And you trust this Danvers brother?"
"Luka hides his feelings with his smile..his humor, but the truth always comes through... it's like he can't hide it."
Esi saw her friend biting her tongue, probably to keep from saying that Esi thought she'd read Porte correctly too. Look how that turned out. From daily communication to being completely cut off.
"Fine," Lena relented, as if Esi's dinner was dependent on her word.
Esi laughed, completely forgetting about the tension.
"You do know that my decision to go wasn't dependent upon you, right?"
"Don't push it, Elizabeth..." Lena countered. "I can still say no."
Her friend walked towards the bed where Esi's outfits lay against her lavender cotton sheets. She shook her head. Then, she headed towards Esi's closet and sifted through the clothes there.
Lena picked one and held it out.
"Wear this with your knee high boots."
She held up a thick tan long sleeved sweater dress that stopped above her knee. It also clung to her wide hips.
Esi squinted at it.
" Are you sure? You don't think it's inappropriate? Too short?" Esi asked her.
"No...it's fine," Lena reassured her, then she tilted her head questioningly. "Unless you want it to be?"
Her mind flashed to when Luke had first asked her to dinner, when she thought that he was seriously asking her out. The panic that had ensued because her mind had flitted to Porte. To him even though he was no longer communicating with her.
She had felt guilty after. When Esi really thought about it, she had known Luke first, he had proven himself that semester, even when they had a misunderstanding over Andrew. When he had advice that she should have listened to.
Still, her mind had immediately gone to his brother who had neglected their friendship after a few months. Luke was here again, when she thought it was just words—he was actively reaching out, wanting to be her friend.
She supposed that was something else that the brothers had in common.
Still, Esi was a little uncertain as she planned to go to this dinner. She would ask Luka upfront his intentions about their friendship. Becasue she didn't want to invest herself in people who didn't want to invest in her.
"No. I don't want it to be anything," Esi said honestly.
~~~~
Esi shrugged off her robe to slip on her tights and an under blouse to help with the cold.
Layering was so important in this weather. Then, she slipped on her dress, Lena assisting her in keeping her hair intact. She thought about the fact that her friend was already in her pajamas—even before Esi was even home. It was a bit unusual for her to be so static. Lena was always on the go—there was always some activity for her to be involved in. It was as if she had to keep herself busy so that she didn't have to dwell on certain issues.
"You're home early," Esi stated, realizing that her roommate wasn't usually home at this time. "And in pajamas already..."
Lena sat down on Esi's bed and worried at her bottom lip. "Yohan wants to visit next weekend."
"Oh," Esi took in the sadness that lingered in her eyes. "Does he still want to get back together?"
Her friend scoffed. "We'd have to have been together to actually get back there." There was anger attached to Lena's words—anger at herself. Anger at Yohan for the circumstances that they had found themselves in. Anger at promises that were not kept.
"But you were kind of together," Esi said gently, well aware of the weight of her words.
Tears welled in her fierce friend's eyes. "How can I, Esi? How can I even consider it? What happens when he finds out what I did?" She looked at Esi with anguish. "He would never forgive me. He would never want me again. Plus, he left me first ...and it wasn't even that he was my husband because that was just on paper. He was my friend first and he left."
Esi reached over to lay her hand on Lena's shoulder. "Oh babe, no one could understand what you were going through at that time." She ran her hand soothingly across her friend's back. "Yes, he should have been told, but he left and you didn't even know if he was ever coming back. You can't change the past, but only you can decide what happens next."
Lena wiped at her eyes.
"How did the subject change to me?" She groaned. "You need to get going, Westport isn't close."
Esi leaned back to look at her friend. "Are you going to be okay? I can stay...I really don't have to go."
"Girl, please. I'll be fine," she sniffed. " You have on your revenge dress...go do your thing."
Esi pulled away. "It is not a revenge dress!" She exclaimed. "I told you that he's not even going to be there."
"So if he was there, it would've been a revenge dress?"
"I'm not answering that," Esi said as she moved to grab her purse and keys. "Turn off the lights when you're leaving." She blew Lena a cheeky kiss. "Later."
"Byeee. Have fun," her friend wagged her eyebrows playfully.
Esi shook her head and left.
A/N
Enjoy!