"ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʜᴀʀᴅᴇʀ, ʟᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ɢᴏ ᴏʀ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴏᴋᴀʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɪᴛ."
𝙼𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚒'𝚜 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎
𝟾:𝟷𝟼 𝚊𝚖
𝙵𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙾𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟺𝚝𝚑
I woke up, feeling a cool breeze enter from my window. Pink, fluffy blankets surrounded me, making me feel calm. Still, My heart ached, knowing my best friend was gone and my other best friend was depressed. Every single night since Notti died, I slept on the phone with her. As for Angel, she was acting like she didn't give a Damn. Everyone was pissed at her for it, especially DD. Notti's funeral was today, I didn't want to go, but I knew Kimberly wouldn't have gone unless I did. She was so hurt, I had to be there for her. "Kim, wake up it's time to go," I said comfortingly. Kim wasn't sleeping at all but I knew she was blocking everything out. All she did was give me a thumbs up in the camera. "Kimmy, please get up. For Notti?" I sighed. Kim immediately sat up in her bed and took her phone in her bathroom. I smiled knowing I finally got her up. I went to my bathroom, facing my phone up to the ceiling, and hopped in the shower. Mariah The Scientist played throughout the bathroom. Tears filled up my eyes as I wiped them with my hands. I grabbed my vanilla-scented body wash and lathered my body with it. The calming scents made my nerves lie down. Once I hopped out I went to my closet.
the fit:
I went to the bathroom and flat ironed my natural hair, letting my hair flow down my back. I didn't feel like putting on any makeup so I just went natural but did my lashes and lip combo. I grabbed all my jewelry and put it on, letting my bracelets wrap around my wrist. I also put on my bracelet that had Notti's favorite colors, birthday, and death date. Kim and I had matching bracelets, there was an extra one for Angel but she was acting like a punk ass bitch.
Once I finished getting ready, I headed to my car and went to pick up Kim. "Hi, baby." I got out of the car and immediately embraced her with a warm hug. Tears filled her eyes as we walked back to my car. I ran my fingers through her hair while she hugged me and cried. "I miss him so much Moni- I can't do it without him..He was my everything." she cried hugging me tighter. "I know Kim, I know," I said planting a soft kiss on the top of her head. I felt so bad for her, if that was Ddot everyone would've died. but again he hasn't called me in a few, and neither have I called him.
After we finally stopped crying, we made our way to the building. Everyone was here on time EXCEPT Angel. We were pissed. We got out of the car and gave everyone hugs. Both DD and Ddots eyes were bloodshot red. I went up to ddot since I hadn't hugged him yet. He opened his arms and I immediately clung to his, holding him in a tight hug. Ddot started sobbing in my arms. As we rocked our bodies from side to side, I buried my head deep into his neck.
"Okay everyone, settle down." the lady hosting his ceremony said. "we are here to celebrate the day Ethan Reyes, went home. My grandson was a loving, and kind young man. He always had high hopes for everyone, especially his family and friends. Yes, he did a lot of dumb things, but that's what made him, well Him.-" his grandma spoke. Her tears ran down her face. I felt so bad. I knew how much Notti meant to everyone, and for him to die the way he did, His name wasn't going to die like that. Even though it wasn't my fault. I didn't know if I was going crazy, or if it was just my instincts talking. I was about to find out who killed Notti.
just then Angel walked in. She sat next to me and Kimberly. Kim was outraged. I looked at Kim who immediately looked at me, we then looked at Angel. "what are you all staring at me for?" Kim balled up her fist. DD then glanced over at us and nudged Ddot. "Get them to the parking lot, shit about to go down," Dd whispered. He nodded and came over to us. "Can we go outside and do this please?" Dotty said grabbing my hand as I grabbed Kim and she grabbed Angel by her hair. "Let me-"Shut the fuck up." Kim interrupted her, and Angel Did as she said.
"Bitch! How the fuck you gon ghost me and Kim for 2 whole weeks, Go around not giving a damn about his death, and then show up to his funeral LATE?!" I yelled at Angel. "It's not like I didn't care I just-" Kim interrupted her again by knocking her dead in her face. Kimberly was putting belt to ass on Angel for a while. "Okay, that's enough," Dd said while they split up Angel and Kim. Angel's nose was bleeding, she had a black eye and a giant hump on her forehead. "See Kim you're a fucking bitch! I'm glad Notti's dead, He had so much control over your ass you ain't know what to do without him! look at your ass now dumb bitch!" Angel laughed. The boys then let Angel go and I body-slammed her into the concrete. I grabbed onto her throat and stood her up, just so she couldn't block herself from Kim's hits. Angel was punched everywhere. Kim did her shit in real bad. "Ok, that's enough," Ddot said dragging Angel and laying her in her car. "Also, we're done," Dd said thumping her in her head. "Also your head game is ass dumb bitch." he said before slamming the car door.
"I will rain on all yall hoes, let me find out who killed Notti and I swear I'm bringing hell to their household, everybody dying!" Kim cried as she paced back and forth. Kim was screaming her promise so loud. Her pain and hurt were getting poured into everything she saying. "They killed my fucking boyfriend bro! The only boy I ever fucking loved. I fucking hate it here!" Kim hyperventilate. I ran up to hug her and tried to calm her down. "I'm killing everyone bro everyone can die on Notti bro! I will kill every fucking body!" Kim cried, trying to break free from my arms. "Let's do it then," Ddot said with a straight face. "We boomin' them?' "Hell yes," Kim replied.
Once we made it back to Dd's house, I immediately started finding out who killed Notti. I wanted in on this shit too, I'm trying to help as much as possible because at the end of the day that was my friend, and we getting his get back. On my soul. when I found him I showed him to the rest of the gang. "That's that Kdot nigga!" Dd snatched my phone and scrolled on his IG. "He tried to hit me up once, I said nah tho," I said rolling up a blunt. Ddot became even more mad as he just nodded. DD then pulled out ammo and guns and gave all of us one. Ddot let me use one of his guns though, I loved it. Kimberly had gotten the biggest gun. She smirked while clenching the gun tightly. "yeah, she's crazy.." Dd whispered to Ddot.
"Okay, so how are we doing this?" I asked leaning on the wall. "We pull up on Kdot, Kim gets her hit in, and we do the rest of them. Easy." Ddot said manspreading his legs. I shrugged my shoulders. I've never killed someone before, let alone a gang member. Even though I knew what I was doing, no questions asked at the moment, I was still a little skeptical. Especially since I knew we would go crazy. This was risky. But Everything for Notti. No matter the cost.
We waited till nighttime, then we headed out. Dd's car had tinted windows, so we drove his car. I drove, Kimberly in the passenger, and the boys in the back. "I'm nervous," Kim said staring out the window. "He stabbed Notti to death- I'm good, don't finish please." She said furrowing her eyebrows. I knew Kim was sweet, but her ass could get crazy in a quickness. "Im airing this bitch out I swear," Ddot said bouncing his leg up and down. We nodded in agreement. I picked up the gun and admired it. It was a little heavy, but it also looked like something I'd carry on me. It was a black gun with purple lining and grips. I loved it. "Moni, they over there," Dd said pointing to the corner.
Once we got to the corner, shots immediately flew out towards them. Kimberly hit Kdot, right in his chest. Twice. As for the rest of his crew, shots flew out left and right, one of them getting hit in the head by ddot. Dd then cocked his gun and shot one of them in the shape of an N. "Damn! We gotta go!" one of the men groaned, limping towards an alley with a girl. I pulled that car down that alley so fast, almost hit the curb.
I pulled into the alley once the man fell to the floor. He was out. I hopped out of the car and cocked my gun back. Walking up to the girl, I realized who she was. The girl I fought at school. I busted out laughing as I put the gun to her head. "Look who got the upper hand now bitch. What you say yo brother gon do to us again? Oh wait, he's dead too. hope yall stay twinning in hell with y'all bitch asses." I laughed as I shot her in the head. I started kicking her in her head, making sure she was dead. Her blood had gotten all over my clothes. For once, I wasn't scared at all.
"E4N Bitch!" Me and Kim yelled, driving past all the dead bodies once again. Nobody would know who we were, since we were covered up, plus there were too many people trying to get Nottis get back, they wouldn't think it was two teenage girls right? Kim let out a small chuckle of satisfaction, before sinking back in her seat and crying. There was a lot going on right now, so she was very overwhelmed. I rubbed her back as we went back to Dd's house. Nobody was hurt, luckily.
I washed my clothes, making sure there were no traces of blood on me. I then slipped into one of Ddots hoodies and kept on my bike pro's. Dd's house was silent. sadness washed over his apartment. Everyone was releasing their emotions in different ways and we respected that. Dd put on The Chi before Kim hugged him as tight as she could. Dotty on the other hand seemed so chill, but his eyes said something completely different. I went over to him and sat right next to him, he then laid his head on my shoulder, "Dotty, does this make me a murderer?" I asked concerningly. All he did was throw his head back and let out a small chuckle. "In society book, yes, but in mine, no." He comforted me before planting a kiss on my head.
"Are you okay?" I asked rubbing his chest. I don't know why I asked him out loud like I was going to get a truthful answer. "I'm cooling, you ain't gotta worry about me." He gave me a slight smile. I didn't believe any of that. And neither did he. "You know I love you right?" I said kissing him softly. "I love you more Monai." he cheesed. I really hoped he meant that. He gave me a warm hug and then picked me up and took me to his room.
Ddot then closed the door, I held my arms out and he clung onto me in a quickness. All I could do was be there for him. Tears flooded his hoodie as I rocked him side to side. "He's gone Monai, my brothers gone." dotty said wiping his face. "I know baby, I know." His sadness quickly turned into anger. Ddot quickly got up and paced back in fourth. "They fucking killed my brother." He said panicking and crying, Soon enough he started smashing everything he owned. He was crashing out...Bad.
I just watched him crash out. Everything in his room was destroyed, except the bed of course. I knew how hurt he was, and it hurt me to see him like this. I'm trying to be strong for everyone because they knew him better than I did, but I never really got the chance to grieve his death. Every time I thought of Notti, I thought of Kim, DD, Ddot, his mom, and everyone else I've met because of Notti. His million-dollar smile replayed like a movie in my head every day, especially since he was always smiling around me. He was my best friend, and I saw him in everyone. And Especially Dd and Ddot. It hurts it really does. And just by thinking of it, I was crying.
He was too young to die. So much was waiting for him, and he didn't even get to see it. Why did he have to go so soon?..
Tears flooded my eyes, Not just because of Notti, but because of everyone around me. I've been acting strong for everyone, and I'm breaking now. As I cried felt a heavy weight being lifted off of my shoulders. I held my head in my palms, blocking out every crash, every scream, and every cry. My heart sunk, deep into my stomach as all my cries let out a sound of sadness. Everything else that ran through my mind stopped, as I curled myself into a ball, hiding from the world in Ddot's hoodie, and cried myself to sleep through the pain and noise.
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"ɪ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ɴᴏᴛᴛɪ, ɪ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ
ᴀɪɴ'ᴛ ɴᴏ ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴀɴ ʜᴇᴀʟ, ʏᴇᴀʜ, ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱʜɪᴛ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ɢᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟ
ʟᴏᴛ ᴏꜰ ɴɪɢɢᴀꜱ ɢᴏɴ' ᴅɪᴇ 'ᴄᴀᴜꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴍᴇ
ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪᴛ ᴀɪɴ'ᴛ, ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ'ᴍ ʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴛᴏ ꜰʟᴀᴍᴇ, ʟɪᴋᴇ
ʜᴏᴘ ᴏᴜᴛ ɢᴀɴɢ, ᴅᴏ 'ᴇᴍ ᴅɪʀᴛʏ
ᴘᴜᴛ ʜɪᴍ ᴏɴ ᴀ ᴄʜᴀɪɴ, ᴅɪᴇᴅ ʙʏ ᴀ .30
ᴛᴀʟᴋɪɴ' ᴏɴ ɴᴏᴛᴛɪ, ꜱᴇɴᴅ ꜱʜᴏᴛꜱ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙʀᴀɪɴ
ɪ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴄᴀʀᴇ, ʙɪᴛᴄʜ, ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏɪɴ' ɪɴꜱᴀɴᴇ, ʟɪᴋᴇ
ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʏ ɢᴏɴ' ꜰᴇᴇʟ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴀɪɴ
ɪ'ᴍᴀ ᴅᴏ ɪᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ, ʏᴇᴀʜ, ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɴᴀᴍᴇ
ɢᴏɪɴ' ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ɪᴛ, ɪ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏᴛ ᴇxᴘʟᴀɪɴ
ɪ ɢᴏᴛ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴀᴍᴇ
ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪꜰ ʟɪꜰᴇ ɢᴏɴ' ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀᴍᴇ
ɪ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ᴍʏ ᴛᴡɪɴ, ʏᴇᴀʜ, ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴ' ɪɴꜱᴀɴᴇ
ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ɪꜰ ʟɪꜰᴇ ɢᴏɴ' ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀᴍᴇ
ɪ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ᴍʏ ᴛᴡɪɴ, ʏᴇᴀʜ, ɪ'ᴍ ɢᴏɪɴ' ɪɴꜱᴀɴᴇ
ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜰᴀᴋᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ
ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴ' ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴄᴀɴ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ ᴍᴇ
ᴡʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇꜱ ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ꜱᴏ ᴄᴏʟᴅ?
ɢᴏᴛ ᴍʏ ɴɪɢɢᴀꜱ, ʙᴜᴛ ɪ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ꜰᴇᴇʟ ꜱᴏ ʟᴏɴᴇʟʏ."
- Letter 2 Notti, Dd Osama.
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LLN FN!!! E4N 🕊
Okay guys, so long chapter ik, but it was for a good cause. Poor Kim she's crashing all the way out atp and she's only gon get crazier.
love yall always!
xoxo- deeeee