"Dad, who is Alma LeFay Peregrine?" I asked during dinner, while munching on the Swedish meatballs we ordered from a nearby diner.
"Peregrine? I never heard that name. But Alma LeFay sounds familiar." My dad replied, not even looking up from his plate. He was busy trying to find the perfect meatball to sauce ratio to make it taste better, because, let's face it, the food was kinda trash. "Why are you asking?"
"Just... asking." I shrugged.
"Where'd you hear the name?" My dad asked with his mouth full and sauce dripping down his chin. I handed him a napkin to buy some time, though the extra few seconds weren't enough to think of something smart.
"Umm... I don't know..."
"Probably your grandpa." He answered the question for himself. "He likes old family gossip."
"Yeah, probably... I can't recall the story though." I responded a bit hesitantly.
"Alma was my four-times-great-grandpa's cousin, or something like that. A real weirdo. Had two brothers just as weird as her." My dad's tone was bored as if he were explaining basic knowledge. "There was a rumor going around that they were witches, and one day they just disappeared. Our side of the family was scared that they 'made a deal with the devil' and cut contact. I heard her parents committed suicide because of her and her brothers."
I shuddered but I was too curious not to ask more questions.
"What did she do to earn the title of the witch?" I inquired.
"No clue. It was the 1800s. The common village folk could accuse anyone of witchcraft." My dad shrugged. "She's more like a family legend now, almost no one knows what she was like."
I hummed along and pretended to be satisfied with the knowledge.
"Wasn't she a writer?" I risked the question.
"No clue." My dad seemed really done with my questions. "I never wanted to learn more about her. Growing up she was a scary tale to me. Like Bloody Mary or Baba Yaga. 'Be good or Alma will get you', that's what my parents always said."
He paused to stuff his thoughtful-looking face. "Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure if she's real."
"Oh, I see." I turned my attention back towards the poorly made meatballs, which had also cooled down while I was busy interrogating my dad.
"Why do you even care?" My mom raised her eyebrows.
"I told you, I'm just curious." I put on a neutral expression. "How was your day, by the way?"
She started to ramble about some annoying colleagues who argue over opening and closing the windows in the office. My dad nodded along and did not dare to interrupt her, so she soon got really heated, and didn't even notice when I sneaked away from the dinner table.
I grabbed my phone and started a search engine. I typed "Alma LeFay Peregrine" and pressed "search". There was only one result, a website called "Old Unsolved Crimes". It was about a certain Alma, Jack and Myron LeFay who went missing in the 1870s. Some claim that a few years later they saw Alma in their home village, shortly before their parents' suicide, but the witnesses are said to be unreliable.
It was just Alma LeFay. Not Alma LeFay Peregrine. And the book she wrote wasn't mentioned anywhere.
I tried to search the full title, certain parts of it, and the Syndrigast Publications, but nothing. Like this book wasn't supposed to exist.
I knew what I had to do now. Read it.
.::[🪶]::.
I didn't sleep at all that night. I read the whole thing. It seemed to be a guide to a world I never heard of, one where I might fit in and finally belong.
My head whirled with tons of information. There were chapters on people with powers, and a special type of them called ymbrynes, stating that the author, my long lost relative is also one, hence the name Peregrine. If that weren't enough, there were also time loops created by these ymbrynes, in order to create safe havens and protect everyone who needs them.
It also mentioned monsters nobody can see -- hollowgasts. The descriptions fit the monsters that used to haunt me perfectly.
Was it a coincidence, or the answer I've been waiting for my whole life? If it's the latter, how come it was served to me on a silver plate?
You are not alone.
What if someone knows my secret and is trying to warn me that way?
No, that can't be possible. If someone wanted to contact me with this book, they would have left a note, or at least their name...
Their name.
Miss Cardinal.
Cardinal is a rank in the Christian church... But it is also the name of a bird. A red bird.
I dropped the book in shock (again), this time on my leg, and it left a bruise on my thigh. I suppressed my pained hiss, since it was 3 am and I didn't want to wake my parents.
Gertrude is a red bird.
I looked up cardinals on the internet, and guess what? Gertrude is a cardinal.
I immediately went to the balcony to check if she was there but her nest was empty.
"Damn it..." I mumbled.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it. Maybe this is all just a big coincidence, and I'm being delusional. Who wouldn't in my place? I've always been desperately hiding my true self, maybe I became so desperate to belong that I'm coming up with complicated stories now.
I left the balcony door open to let some fresh air in. The breeze always reassured me, and this time it didn't fail to do so either. I inhaled it deeply and exhaled slowly. The knot in my stomach was disappearing, and my heartbeat slowed a little.
Good. No need to get so worked up over this. The most important thing is to keep silent as always and don't get myself thrown in a psych ward or mental hospital. That should be easy, since the monsters haven't visited in a long while. I have time to figure things out. I just need to make sure I don't get too caught up in this peculiar world, because if I do, I wouldn't be able to handle the disappointment of finding out it was all in my head.
Even if I am crazy, I can't let anyone find out.
I could have gone to sleep for the remaining three hours until 6, when I had to wake up everyday, but my gut was telling me that if I allowed myself to rest, my body's appetite for sleep would only grow stronger and even more impossible to satisfy. However, if I kept myself in emergency mode, I'd be able to function the next day, running on caffeine and conspiracy theories.
So I stayed up, overthinking like it was a full time job. Hollowgasts, wights, loops, ymbrynes, peculiardom...
That night I got a new secret, the biggest and hardest one to bear this far. Fear was easy to hide, I got used to it, but hope... I never had this much hope before and I was afraid it would show.
.::[🪶]::.
Needless to say, the next day I was on alert but also tired as heck. Also, I didn't do any of my homework because I was busy processing the tons of new information I got. I still didn't forget to ask questions in school about this Miss Cardinal though. I made sure to interrogate every teacher I had class with.
"No idea." The classmistress, our math teacher shook her head. "If there is a student under this name, then I don't teach them."
"And a staff member?" I tried.
"We have over 70 teachers, and 50 other staff members here, you can't expect me to know everyone." She huffed. I recognised this as the perfect time to back out of the conversation -- she clearly had a bad day and the last thing I needed was her to snap at me.
"Never heard of them." was the response I got from the swimming coach. Well, he probably doesn't even know my name even though he's been teaching me since I was twelve, so it was stupid of me to even ask him.
"I don't think we have a Miss Cardinal in our school." the geography teacher frowned. "Anyways, could you hand your homework in now?"
"Uhhh... Is it okay if I hand it in tomorrow?" I tried to smile convincingly, but it turned out awkward.
"No, it's not. You get a failing grade."
"Dang it."
"Language." The teacher raised one eyebrow in a manner which was supposed to be warning but it just made him look like The Rock.
"I didn't even cu-... Whatever. Goodbye, Mr Teleki." And with that I left the classroom.
After geography we had grammar class, which was, just like literature, taught by Miss RD. She arrived late again, so I couldn't approach her before class, and I had to wait for 45 minutes while she explained how our language developed since the Middle Ages. Normally I love linguistic history, but this time I was super impatient and kinda pissed because I didn't get any answers.
When the bell rang and she closed her textbook, I immediately jumped out of my seat and went over to her before anyone else could have.
"Miss RD, I have a question." I said, preceding the smart kid who wanted to talk to her about the Medieval Ugarian past tense or something of the sort.
"Ask away." Miss RD flashed a friendly smile. I could clearly see that something was wrong, but, as always, she remained kind to her students, and that's why we all loved her so much. Especially because most of our other teachers loved to take their anger out on us.
"Do you know someone named Cardinal?" My voice was indifferent, I started to give up the smallest hope of finding this mysterious person (ymbryne? Gertrude?). If it's just a nickname, then I can officially give up.
The reaction was something I would have not expected in my wildest dreams (or nightmares). Miss RD's expression darkened and her eyes narrowed to slits. She didn't seem angry, but protective and overly cautious.
I was about to ask her what was going on when she responded in a low voice.
"Give me my book back."