Tonight is the final night of our European tour, it's been a month already and tonight we're in Paris. So far the German crowds have been the loudest but I'm sure when we get to England the primary school assembly singing will be put to use.
Billie and I's relationship has remained strong we've FaceTimed every night even when she's with her mum who I've also grown close with. I get to see her in a few days and I cannot wait.
I've been to Paris before but the boys haven't. Although we went clubbing last night which was not the first time on this tour the French people sure know how to party so we are done. Half of this day has been spent sightseeing while also eating a lot of delicious and definitely too fancy food.
The concert rolls around quick. The boys and I are all stood backstage on FaceTime to Mia before we go out.
"I wish I could've come, it sounds amazing" Mia says
"That's what she said" River replies earning a stern look from Mia.
"Shut up and hand the phone to Y/N and then let me talk to her in peace" Mia says
River stares at the screen in confusion before he seems to remember something and hands me the phone. He then tells Grayson to follow him as they walk away leaving me confused
"Am I in trouble" I say while laughing nervously
"Y/N when's the last time you checked your phone" she says hesitantly making me more nervous
"I text my parents like an hour ago and Billie" I reply
"Did Billie seem normal?" Mia says
"Yeah we had a short conversation, I told her I'd be busy" I'm starting to get frustrated as to why Mia is being like this
"I sent you an Instagram story, I know you don't go on it often. It's Odessa's story. It's a picture of them together at brunch or something" Mia says
Are you fucking kidding me? I try to keep my composure because we're about to go on stage in a few minutes. I'm not even sad about it anymore I'm just angry.
"Is it just them? What time did she post it? Does it look platonic? She didn't mention it to me" I spew out a bunch of questions
"She uploaded it about about 2 hour ago, they're with other people. Im sure it's nothing to worry about" Mia stays calm as I freak out
"How long have you known?" I interrupt her
"I sent it to you as soon as I saw it and I told river" she says innocently
"Thanks Mia love you bye" I say shortly and end the call. "River get in here"
Him and Grayson come back in sheepishly, probably because of the tone of my voice
"You fucking knew and you didn't tell me?" I say angrily
"I'm sorry I was gonna wait till after the show so it didn't ruin the mood" he says
"Are you fucking kidding me?" I spit out "my relationship is a more important than the fucking mood" I say
Grayson snaps his head towards me and places his hand on my chest before sternly saying "Stop, Y/N go walk it off" I look at him surprised "Now" he commands.
I push open the double doors and begin to pace back and forth we've got about 5-10 minutes before we go on and now this? Our last night before the UK and she does this. I have to see her too.
As I pace around I realise that I need to apologise to River. So I walk toward the lounge and swing open the doors making both boys stand up.
"Listen River, I'm mad at Billie for going behind my back but she's not here so I used you to take my anger out and I cannot be sorry enough. I shouldn't have talk to you like that" I say sincerely, hanging my head low.
"It's ok Y/N, I forgive you" he says standing up to hug me "you were scary though damn girl" he says making me laugh
"Are you ok Y/N?" Grayson says standing closer to us
As soon as I turn to look at him, I burst into tears and they both pull me into a group hug.
"Why would she do this again" I say between sobs.
"You need to talk to her y/n, find out the truth before you let it affect you. Right now you need to focus on your career, there are thousands of people out there waiting for you to perform. Show her that you are strong" Grayson says
"Go and take a breather and get your makeup fixed we can push it back 5 minutes no biggie" River says
I wipe my tears, "River this is the first you've been serious in months" I laugh. The boys laugh in response and I go get my makeup fixed. We are then called onto the stage.
The whole concert, I give it my all, while also maybe flirting with a few fans. During our talking break I jump down off the stage and greet some fans. I stop by one girl and place her hands on my face "you look great tonight!" I say harmlessly before moving on and getting back on stage. I remove my jacket once again and the boys act as my hype men.
"Can we get a little noise in here for Y/N Y/L/N look at those muscles" River says as he whistles into the mic jokingly making me laugh, the crowd roars back as I flex my arms.
The concert comes to an end shortly after, this has been the most hyped performance so far the energy the boys and I put in today was incredible. I guess it makes up for the shitty news earlier.
Speaking of I have to deal with my problem now I'm in my hotel room. I would love to avoid my problems but the thought of having to see Billie in a few days makes me feel sick.
I open the FaceTime app and hesitantly click on Billies name.
She doesn't answer.
I try again.
She doesn't answer.
Is she being for real? I send her a text letting her know to call me back and get on with my night routine. After a few minutes I hear my phone buzz
Billie🤍
Hey baby, I'm busy
Right now but I can
Call you later?
12:04 am
Saviour
call me now.
12:05 am
Billie🤍
I cant talk right now
Im sorry. But I miss you
And Love you
12:05 am
Saviour
I'm not asking I'm telling you
you need to call me
12:06 am
Her reluctancy to call me is making me even more angry. As I go to look at fans posts from tonight as a distraction, a call from her comes in.
"Hey baby what's up is it urgent?" she says
"What are you doing" I say plainly
"I'm out with friends, what's up? Your concert looked like the best one yet tonight" she reply's cheerfully
"Answer the FaceTime" I try ring her
"I can't I'm out"
Sick of her dodging I decide to let her know that I know. "How was your lunch, Odessa's story made the food look really nice" I spit out
She says silent for a moment before excusing herself to someone in the background and I hear her footsteps "Listen baby I was going to tell you, but I didn't want you to be mad especially before preforming. A group of them invited me out. It's her birthday soon"
"So you're telling me you're out for this bitches birthday now?" I say laughing out of disbelief.
"No it's not like that, there's other people here. She didn't invite me but she said she doesn't have feelings anymore" Billie explains
"How many times has this been a problem? And how many times have you apologised for it?" I say slightly more calmly
"I'm not sure like 3?" Billie says in a confused tone
"Exactly, and why is that number more than 1. Of course I'm mad you're hanging out with this girl I asked you to do one thing for me and you couldn't respect that then you dodging my calls to be with her" I reply
"I'm sorry baby I truly am. I want to hang with my friends but I shouldn't have come for her birthday. I would never cheat on you, you know that. And I wanted to call you just not at the table with everyone"
"So you embarrassed of me now too" I say
"No of course not, I've been talking about you all afternoon showing them you on tour and shit" she defends "I just don't want to be that girl who sits on the phone to their girlfriend"
I sigh into the phone, knowing she probably didn't cheat and is telling the truth but she did disrespect me by not telling me. "How am I supposed to trust you if, you're not going to tell me things?" I say
"I was waiting till I was home and could speak to you properly I promise baby" she pleads
"Ok Billie" I reply "I'm going to bed"
"Wait, Do you still want me to come to London?" Her voice is quiet and laced with shame
"I'll text you in the morning" I say keeping the emotion out my voice
"Goodnight I love you" she says pausing to hear me say it back.
But I can't I'm too exhausted so I say goodnight and hang up the phone.