Later that evening, Mikasa was resting in the nursery with Carla while Hange and Armin made dinner in the kitchen. It was a peaceful night, and Mikasa had mostly seemed to have calmed down from earlier, though her eyes were still red and a bit puffy from crying. She was gently rocking Carla, as the baby began falling asleep against her mother's shoulder. Mikasa had closed her eyes as she gently rocked, listening to the soothing noise of her baby's soft breathing, feeling the warmth of her daughter against her. Once the little one had fully drifted to sleep, Mikasa kissed her cheek and got up carefully, gently laying Carla in her crib and tucking her in. She gazed down at her daughter, feeling a mixture of sadness and comfort. She wished her parents, or even Carla Jaeger would have lived long enough to meet their granddaughter. She could only imagine how spoiled her daughter would have been with two grandmothers, and how proud her father and even Grisha would have been. She even wished...Armin's parents could have survived long enough to meet her...though they had been gone even longer than her own, and Eren's. His grandfather too...Mikasa didn't know Armin's grandfather too well, but she had old memories of him being a kind man. She exhaled softly, as she turned the light off and exited the nursery, leaving the door halfway open. She fidgeted with her hands, as she began to make her way downstairs.
Hange had updated Armin on Mikasa's condition while they continued to prepare dinner. The conversation was somber, but they both agreed that Mikasa needed all of the support she could get right now, and it was her time to allow her supportive army to take on the front lines while she tended to her deeply cut wounds. If something didn't give way soon... Armin worried that Mikasa would be beyond healing, and her trauma would be something that crushes her beyond recognition. The thought worried Armin, even scared him, just as it had since her first massive breakdown in the bedroom, but it had been something he had only mentioned to Hange, who was always helpful and often reminded him of everything she had been through all these years, while still being so young. During their conversation, Hange revealed that Levi was going through similar hardships. Though he was far more stubborn and prideful than Mikasa, he did a better job at hiding his breakdowns. Even so, Hange often heard him having nightmares. Names like Isabel, Micah, and of course Erwin were spoken in his restless sleep.
Hange had been plating dinner while Armin worked at setting the table when Mikasa had made her way down the stairs. He heard the small sound of her footsteps, smiling softly as he made his way to greet her at the foot of the stairs. He noticed her hand movement, walking up a few steps to reach his hand out to her, gently grabbing her hand and leading her the rest of the way slowly. When she made her way to the bottom, Armin moved to embrace her tightly, placing a gentle kiss on her head.
"Hi there beautiful... I set a place for you at the table... Hange wanted to join us." Armin whispered to her, pulling away from the embrace before making his way back towards the kitchen, ensuring to pull out Mikasa's chair for her.
Mikasa gently gripped Armin's hands back, trying to stay as close to him as possible. She had started clinging hard to Armin, and when they walked over to the table, she was gripping his hand tightly. Dinner had mostly been peaceful, and they were even able to get Mikasa to eat some more than usual. But despite the two's best efforts, it didn't seem like Mikasa was showing much improvement.
Later in the night, after Armin and Mikasa had gone to bed, Mikasa was extremely restless in her sleep. She was tossing and turning constantly, whimpering and groaning off and on in her sleep, sometimes mumbling a little bit. Her forehead was becoming sweaty, and she just couldn't lie still. Her dreams were vivid, but a bunch of blurred images all at once. It was like all the most awful parts of her life were on repeat, like some sort of sick mental torture. So many distorted voices screaming at her...and so many images of blood splattering around her. But as the memories repeated in her head, she found herself suddenly in a black void, not able to see anything but the darkness surrounding her. In her dream, she let out a small whimper, but her voice sounded much younger...and she realized she was her child self again. She began to tremble, looking around anxiously, wearing that old, white childhood nightgown. The same one she wore the night her parents were killed.
"Armin..? Hange..?" She called out fearfully when suddenly she heard movement in the darkness. Her eyes widened as she looked toward where the sound was coming from. It sounded like raspy, shallow breathing as something seemed to be crawling towards her from the shadows.
Frozen in terror, Mikasa could only stand there as she watched it crawl closer and closer. Its breathing remained raspy, as it came into some view. It appeared to be a woman crawling towards her, leaving a large sickly trail of blood behind her, a massive gash in her shoulder, and her arm nearly hacked off. She had jet-black hair, and for a brief moment, it seemed like she had a face. But when she lifted her head from the ground, it was skeletal, blood pouring out of the empty eye sockets and mouth. Its voice came out distorted, violent, and angry.
"You left us there to ROT! Why did you just STAND THERE?" it demanded, sounding like a ghostly version of her mother's voice. Mikasa cried out, stumbling back, feeling her heart begin to pound in her chest as she hyperventilated.
"No...I didn't...I'm sorry mother..!" She whimpered out, shaking violently. Why...why did she just stand there when her mother was murdered? And her father...why didn't she do more to try and save them?
"WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LIFT IT?!" An even angrier ghostly voice was heard behind her, causing Mikasa to flinch in fear.
She looked behind her to see another skeletal creature, dragging itself towards her, leaving another trail of blood. This one was missing its legs and had dark brown hair with the same skeleton-like face. It was Carla Jaeger.
"I TOOK YOU IN AS MY OWN...AND YOU LEFT ME TO BE EATEN!" The creature growled angrily.
"I...I tried...I couldn't lift it...I'm sorry...!" Mikasa's voice broke, as she attempted to back away from the two, before suddenly hearing a familiar voice echo within the void.
"No you didn't Mikasa."
That familiar male voice caused Mikasa's breath to hitch. It sounded exactly like Eren's voice, causing her to freeze up. It felt like her heartbeat had stopped, as her breathing cut off in her throat. She looked up, to see a grown Eren standing over her. He stared down, before suddenly grabbing her by the throat and lifting her up, slamming her body against an unseen wall in the darkness. This caused Mikasa to cry out, gripping his arm, trying to pull it off her.
"You let them all die Mikasa...you let me die..." Eren sneered.
"You betrayed me...you KILLED ME!" His voice rose into a scream.
Suddenly, his form seemed to shift into his titan, his eyes glowing bright green, his ears becoming pointed as his face formed into a monster, and then his flesh melted off, becoming a blood-covered skeleton, steam erupting from it, it was so hot Mikasa felt like she could feel it burning her throat. Before the dream could continue, Mikasa screamed out violently, and back in reality she was thrashing hard in bed, screaming and crying as she kicked the blankets off and even accidentally kicked Armin pretty hard in his side, waking him.
Armin slept peacefully through most of the night, naturally holding his arm protectively laid over her chest. At first, he didn't notice her thrashing, his exhaustion holding a heavy weight over him as his blonde messy hair hung loosely in his face. Suddenly, that blood-curdling scream echoed through his mind, followed by a sharp pain in his side. He jumped up, jolting himself out of his sleep as he gasped out softly in his startle, immediately turning to Mikasa to check on her. The sight before him caused him to suddenly jump into action, carefully placing his hands on her shoulders, and restraining her against the bed to ensure her safety. He frowned worriedly, watching as she continued to thrash under him, his breathing heavy as he carefully lifted her, embracing her tightly against him.
"Mikasa!! Mikasa... oh my beautiful girl... come back to me honey... oh Mikasa..." Armin's voice pleaded softly as he held onto her, rocking her trembling body as his hand moved to cradle the back of her head softly. He blinked softly as he stared at the wall in front of him, feeling his heart pound against his chest harshly, his chest heaving as his hands gripped the back of her shirt tightly, leaning his head against hers.
Mikasa's thrashing continued for several seconds, until finally her eyes shot open and she cried out, gasping for air. She was drenched in sweat, her eyes disoriented as she looked around anxiously to ensure she was no longer in that dark place. As their bedroom came into view and familiar parts of it fell into her vision, she looked back at Armin. She struggled to slow her breathing, hyperventilating as she looked at him, her eyes wide with fear. She then began to struggle again, seeming to be in some sort of panic.
"We have to go back, Armin! I just left them there! I have to make sure they're...!" Her voice trailed off, as she began to break into violent sobs, gripping Armin's front tightly.
All she could think about was how she had left her parents' graves all these years...not once visiting them, not once leaving them flowers...not even assuring their home was cleaned up and left with care. How long had her home been sitting there, rotting away? It made her physically ill with herself, shaking violently as she clung hard onto Armin, struggling to control her panting.
Armin hushed her softly, rubbing her back softly as he held her close against him. He could only feel the tension lingering off of her as she continued to hyperventilate and sob violently. He nodded his head as he listened carefully to her panicked rambling, feeling his own emotion pull hard at his heartstrings as he attempted to blink back the tears from his eyes.
"Alright, my brave girl alright... We'll go see them as early as we can tomorrow. I promise you they are safe, it was all just a bad dream my dearest... they are safe... you are safe.." Armin reassured her firmly, pulling away from the grasp for a moment before his fingers gently moved to grab her chin, lifting her head softly as he brushed her messy hair from her face.
Armin had expected all of this to crash down on her, but it still stung harshly seeing how tired her eyes looked each time she had broken down, her features pleading for a form of relief from everything that had been haunting her. His hands moved to cup her cheeks, allowing her worried eyes to look into his for a moment, hoping it would ground her from her frightened state temporarily. His own heart raced with his anxiety, a soft sigh escaping him as he moved to place a gentle kiss on her head, before leaning his forehead against hers.
"We'll get some flowers and visit them okay? You can spend as long as you need to there...I promise on everything darling.." Armin continued to reassure her, his hand gently rubbing her arm as he closed his eyes, keeping his head leaned against hers.
Mikasa leaned her forehead weakly against Armin's, as slowly but surely her breathing calmed down, though it remained shaky. She was so exhausted, she just wanted this pain to stop...she just wanted to start her life with Armin and Carla...but it felt like their future together was constantly being stalled because of the Ackerman curse being lifted. It frustrated her...but she was far too worn out to even express these frustrations. She leaned into her partner's arms, exhaling shakily as she attempted to try and get some rest.
"T..Thank you Armin..." was all she could manage to say.
The following morning, it was on the foggy side and the temperature felt a bit colder than usual for September. This caused the rivers and ponds to drop drastically in their own temperatures, even with some very thin but still noticeable ice forming on the surface of. There was also an occasional gust of cold wind. Three horses galloped across the green plains, heading for the forest. Years ago, this forest sat right near the edge of Wall Maria. But with the walls down, there was just another massive clearing of plains on the other side. Mikasa held her mare's reins, her eyes forward practically on tunnel vision. There was a small basket attached to her saddle, carrying bellflowers. While unusual, Mikasa's long black hair was out of its ponytail, now breezing in the wind like a gorgeous mane, resembling Pieck's hair. It was partly because she was cold, but it was also due to the fact she wanted to return home as she was as a child...the best she could anyway. Her blue roan mare huffed and snorted a bit as she cantered, her hooves thundering against the ground. Armin and Hange were riding behind her, Armin on his pale-faced palomino and Hange on her paint. Carla had been left with Sasha and Connie. Mikasa wanted to wait until her daughter was older to take her here so that she could understand it.
Once the mounts reached the forest, they slowed down to a trot, and after about another half hour of riding, they came to a little clearing. Mikasa exhaled slowly, as her childhood home finally came into view. She pulled her horse's reins to slow down to a walk, as they rode up the short hill towards the little log cabin. It was still standing and seemed to mostly be intact, though parts of the old building had been overgrown with some moss and other forms of green. The garden her mother had planted was overgrown with weeds, and the old stump where her father used to chop wood looked as if it hadn't been used in years. There was an old rabbit hutch sitting right outside the cabin, but it had been long empty. Mikasa's face fell, seeing just how abandoned her old home was. She swallowed hard, before finally pulling her horse to a complete stop. She dismounted carefully, hitching her mare to a nearby tree, and walked up closer.
Her eyes scanned the home, and she could feel her shoulders start to tremble. So many memories came flooding back for her at once. Both good and bad. She remembered being so happy when her father said yes to them keeping pet rabbits. And she remembered her mother teaching her all she knew about the garden. She also remembered observing praying mantises in their bushes, and seeing her father come home with dinner, usually a duck or a large fish, and if they were extra lucky, a whole deer.
Finally, her eyes fell on two graves nestled against a large rock, just west of the cabin. Mikasa's eyes softened, as she approached the grave site. She knelt down, and picked away at all the weeds and brush that had grown over the tombstones, nearly burying them completely. Once it was cleared away and Mikasa was satisfied, she gazed down at their graves, feeling a lump form in her throat. She could see both of their faces as she looked at the tombstones, and so many memories seemed to flash in her mind. She closed her eyes, fighting back her tears as she stood, approached her horse, and took the flowers out of the basket. She then walked back over, knelt down, and gently placed them in front of each of the graves. It was quiet for a few seconds, as Mikasa looked down, letting her long hair hang over the sides of her face.
"I'm home mama...and Daddy. I...I'm sorry I took so long..." She finally found her voice, though it was cracked and shaky. She addressed them as she did the last time she saw them when she was little, and very gently brushed her fingers against each of their graves. Before she realized it, she had begun to quietly ramble to them, telling them everything. From her time with the Jaegers, her time in the Survey Corps and the Scouts, everything about the war and Eren, and of course Armin...until finally she got to the topic of her daughter.
"You two should also know...you have a granddaughter. She's almost 5 months old already...she has our eyes, mama. I'm...so sorry I took so long. There were times when I wanted to come see you both...but every time I got close...I couldn't do it...I'm so sorry..." Mikasa spoke softly, she hadn't noticed Armin and Hange were tending to the property, cleaning it up for her so she could visit.
Hange wandered around the property, cleaning up the paved path that had led to the front door of Mikasa's childhood home, ensuring that it had been brought back to its original roots, with the same welcoming path leading to a door that had opened to many memories it held inside. It was like a time capsule inside, with numerous images of their memories happily contained within those four walls.
On the other side of the property, Armin had been tending to the garden. He remained knelt down at its side as he pulled away at the weeds, freeing the softened soil beneath them. Armin then grabbed a select few stones he had picked from the garden and made a beautiful stone barrier that would later hold in a fence.. when he had the time to get supplies and make his way up here to rebuild one. He leaned back on his knees a bit, wiping the sweat from his brow as he studied the property for a moment, realizing that he should figure out a plan to rebuild the entire property's fence line, as well as fixing up what was left of the cabin and renovating it back to its original state. He assumed this would be much easier during the warmer months, and reminded himself to properly stock up on supplies during the winter so he could get to work, and provide Mikasa an easier home to return to as soon as the snow would thaw. In the distance, the horses grazed on the drying grass, swishing their tails as they continued to work across the clearing. Armin smiled softly at the sight, before turning his glance towards Mikasa. He noticed the overbearing sadness consuming her and stood to his feet to rush over to her. However... he hesitated for a moment.. realizing just how important this moment between them had been. He watched her softly, blinking gently as he gave a soft exhale, moving to walk over to the grave sight. He kept a respectful distance from them, politely holding his hands in his pockets as he watched her softly, listening to her muffled voice as she continued to ramble to her parents. He allowed her to come to him when she was ready, bowing his head respectfully as the somber feeling around the entire property weighed heavy on his heart, causing him to exhale longingly.
Once Mikasa had finished, she exhaled softly...she heard Armin's footsteps behind her and glanced over her shoulder at him. Her eyes softened, as she stood up and faced Armin. She then walked up to him, wrapping her arms around him and leaning her forehead against his shoulder. She felt a heavy weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she allowed her normally tense body to somewhat relax in her husband's arms.
"I'm so glad...I got to finally speak with them..." She expressed softly, staying in Armin's embrace in front of the grave site. It was difficult to come here and face it all..but if Mikasa had known what a weight it was going to lift off her shoulders...she would have visited much sooner. And with this newfound and much-needed closure...instead of flashes of her parents blaming her for their deaths...she could see images of what could have been.
If her parents were still here...she could imagine herself and Armin visiting them with Carla...her father and Armin talking on the porch while Mikasa and her mother cooked lunch together for everyone...how her mother would give her parenting tips, and how her father would playfully lecture Armin to ensure his daughter was being treated well. It was a beautiful fantasy in her mind...and it was one that ultimately helped her cope.
Armin smiled softly down at her, noticing just how relaxed she had been after her conversation with them. It was the most calm she had been in the past few days, and Armin could tell the weight had no longer been burdening her. Slowly, his arms moved to embrace he tightly as he planted a gentle kiss on her head, running his fingers through her long black hair. He enjoyed the silence for a moment, listening to the gentle rhythm of the shallow water of the creek nearby, his eyes falling upon the grazing horses again, enjoying the gentle breeze that had blown through the tall blades of grass surrounding the abandoned home. "I'm sure they were very happy to hear from you, they needed to know all what you've been up to." Armin finally responded, allowing his mind to gather his thoughts before he had spoken.
As Mikasa melted in Armin's embrace, the two of them suddenly heard nearby splashing from the little river that ran just east of the cabin.
This startled the couple, as Mikasa looked over to see a mating pair of whitetail deer had just pranced over the shallow water. The animals stopped short, staring over at Armin and Mikasa. The doe was beautiful, while the buck was large and had an impressive rack. The doe's gentle eyes gazed right at Mikasa, lowering its head and staying idle for a moment. The buck nudged its mate gently, before prancing away towards the woods. The doe hesitated to follow, even taking a step towards Mikasa...something that the deer in these woods would never do normally. It was also shocking to see wildlife this close to Shiganshina, as pretty much all of it was still hidden deep in the mountains. Finally, the doe stopped and decided to join her mate, prancing away into the woods. Mikasa watched the entire thing play out...and she got that same feeling in her heart that she had when the white bird attempted to wrap her scarf at Eren's grave. It brought her a comforting warmth, as she rested her head against Armin's shoulder.
Armin flinched slightly, watching the deer before him as he felt something odd fall over him. It was a welcoming warmth, one that he had embraced.. but he could feel the buck's eyes locked on him as its ears perked slightly. Before he nudged his partner, he watched as the buck bowed his head, revealing the size of his massive antlers, before making his way back into the trees. Armin then noticed the doe... that familiar gleam in her eye as she watched Mikasa carefully, stepping towards her. When she had finally run off, Armin smiled softly as he watched the pair chase each other, playfully bowing their heads before escaping into the trees. He heaved a soft sigh, settling a hand on Mikasa's side as he watched the tree line for a moment. "They know you and their little granddaughter are in good hands. They're proud of you, Mikasa... we all are." Armin finally broke the silence in between them as his eyes continued to watch the horizon peacefully.
Mikasa smiled softly, wiping the tears from her eyes as she wrapped her arms around Armin again, resting her head against his chest as she watched the trees where the deer had pranced off to. A part of her knew she would never be 100%...her PTSD would forever remain, as would her emotional and even physical scars. But she hoped...that after today, her healing process could truly begin and she could start becoming well enough for Armin and their daughter.
September came and went rather quickly, and soon October arrived. Fall had kicked into full gear, with many trees turning colors of yellow, orange, and red, and there was a noticeable chill in the air. Along with many more rainy nights. With the start of Fall, hunting began for the people of Paradis as they attempted to stock up as Hange instructed. The first few weeks were on the somewhat lucky side, a man from Trost managed to bring in several birds, including ducks, pheasants, and a few geese. Another hunter from Shiganshina brought in two young bucks, and Sasha managed to score three boars on one of her hunts. Mikasa and Armin were supplying the town with plenty of rabbits from their traps, and they even managed to hunt a cow elk and deliver it. It was a promising start, but with such a large population of people to feed, even if you did exclude the better-off folk from Sina, this amount of game would last them maybe the first three weeks of winter, possibly a month if they stretched out the rations. And they had four to five months of winter to survive, depending on if they had an early Spring or not.
Things were about to become much more complicated though, as the temperatures seemed to be dropping rapidly for mid-October, and less and less game was being found. Each day, less meat was brought in. Any animals that finally were brave enough to come down from the treacherous mountains were retreating deep into the forests because of the unusually early cold. Birds were flying south early as well, so in the meantime, most of the residents donated fish. But even fishing was proving to be less and less lucky, with fishermen only bringing in small perches and bluegills, unable to get anything decent like a trout or a salmon. It had gotten so bad, some had resorted to looting, finding empty homesteads throughout the island and taking old canned foods from there.
It was late afternoon, and the sky had unusually dark clouds for fall, and there didn't seem to be any signs of rain or thunder on the horizon either. Mikasa was carrying little Carla on her back, and she had just finished stabling her mare inside the barn. Chouka shook her head, seeming grateful to be in the warm stable, counting her hoof and eating some hay. Noticing her horse's shivering, Mikasa grabbed a large blanket and threw it over her mare's back, tying the strings around her large neck to ensure it stayed on overnight. The horse nodded her head in appreciation, flicking her dark tail as she resumed eating. Carla was playing with her mom's ponytail, all bundled up in a cute little brown coat that was almost too big for her. Mikasa rubbed her hands together, realizing she could see her own breath. With a small shiver, the young mother exited the barn and walked over to the front porch of the house, looking out at the pasture.
At first, the fall seemed to be going well, and Armin's plan had been organized pretty well with a good amount of citizens involved, gathering a fair amount of rations. If things continued to go at the pace that they were, they would possibly be facing one of the easiest winters in history. Armin was excited, and for once he found his doubts no longer surfacing, and his haunting thoughts hadn't paralyzed him. Unfortunately, though, this had been short-lived, as the shift in the air proved as a fair warning of the cold winter ahead of them. Not only had it brought in the winter far too early, but it had proven to be one of the coldest fronts Shiganshina had faced in many years. Even before their time in the Cadets.
"We should hurry Armin, it's freezing" Mikasa called out, seeing Armin leading his mount to the barn next. There was also an occasional gust of wind that practically knocked them off their feet several times, and it seemed to howl every time.
Armin continued to guide his horse inside, stabling him beside Mikasa's mount before preparing his stall for the storm ahead of them. He finished tying the blanket over his coat, realizing that it still had been clipped for the summer, heaving a heavy sigh as he recognized that his horse hadn't had enough time to grow in his winter coat, proving that even nature had been unprepared. Carefully, Armin exited the barn, shutting the doors and ensuring that they were stable, testing their strength in hopes of avoiding as much damage as possible with such heavy winds.
As Mikasa hugged herself, waiting for Armin, she glanced over at their garden and noticed something that made her stomach churn. There was frost forming on the potatoes and some of the carrots. Her eyes darkened, growing anxious as she looked back over at her partner, and was quick to get his attention.
"Armin.." Her tone was steady, but worried as she gestured to the garden, feeling another strong gust breeze through, causing Carla to whimper a little bit, nuzzling against her mom's back for warmth.
Armin noticed the worry in Mikasa's eyes, following her glance towards the garden, that same dread falling over him as he noticed the frost growing quickly over the crops. Immediately, Armin moved to grab an old feed bag, ripping it apart before he rushed over to the garden. He threw the old canvas bag over the crops, tying them down with some old rope he had used to tie down the fence posts to avoid them bending in the recent harsh winds.
"Get Carla inside! I'll finish up here!!" Armin called out as he held his arm over his head, attempting to shield his face from the unforgivable winds and needing to shout for his wife to hear him over the howling gusts. Armin then continued to cover the crops, hoping that he had caught them in just enough time before the frost would reach their roots, killing them.
"Hurry Armin, it's getting bad" Mikasa called back worriedly, before making her way inside the cabin, getting Carla inside. There was another gust of wind, practically slamming the cabin's front door shut behind Mikasa. Carla babbled, whimpering a bit as Mikasa moved quickly to heat the cabin.
"I know butterfly, it's cold, isn't it? Mama's gonna make it better.." Mikasa soothed her little one, gently setting her down on her play mat on the floor, before grabbing a thick stack of blankets. She adjusted them a bit so they were wider and flatter, and set them in front of the fireplace. She then put more logs in the already lit fire, and used the metal poker to get the flames bigger. Once she was satisfied, she covered the open fire with a wire cage for safety. She then gently picked up Carla, removing her coat and placing her down on the thick stack of blankets, just close enough to the fireplace so she could feel its warmth, but far enough so she was a safe distance from the flames. Carla babbled, moving to a sitting-up position and clapping her tiny hands, feeling the warmth and smiling. She had started sitting up on her own that month.
Mikasa removed her own coat, and she got to work in the kitchen to prepare them all a warm stew. It would get them through the first few days but after that..things were likely to get limited. Mikasa had pretty much mastered Hange's recipe and began slicing the potatoes, glancing off and on over at Carla to ensure she was okay, while also anxiously checking the door, waiting for Armin to come inside. The wind outside was getting louder, and more violent as the first few snowflakes started to fall.
Armin quickly finished preparing the property for the upcoming and unexpected storm, walking the property line one last time before rushing off towards the cabin. He pushed open the door, quickly escaping the weather into the cabin, slamming the door behind him as the wind continued to rage outside. He locked the door to the cabin, hearing the wind crash against the cabin exterior as he moved to rub his hands together, exhaling shakily.
"This weather... it's far too early.... goddammit..." Armin mumbled under his breath, frowning softly as he removed his coat, walking over towards Carla who had been enjoying the warm fire. He greeted her with a warm smile, sitting down beside her before he turned his glance toward the flames, watching them dance against the structure of logs. His mind wandered softly as he remained silent for a moment, his brows furrowing as that familiar voice began to whisper in the back of his head. He pulled his knees to his chest, curling up as he hid his head in his arms, attempting to compose his thoughts as a tremble ran down his spine. He felt relieved they gathered plenty of firewood early enough...but there were far more concerns he had.
Every single plan he had placed for his people, and everything he did for them... always ended up in someone getting hurt... the succession only happening at the cost of people's lives. Now though... Armin had already begun to predict what this early winter would bring them, especially with the lack of preparation they had to build up the rations for Shiganshina. The difference this time though, was the lives of thousands of people whose deaths simply wouldn't have a purpose... they were just the result of unprepared planning and pathetic soldiers who had believed they were helpful simply because of what they had done for humanity. The reality remained hovering over him, as a sickly feeling fell over his stomach, forcing him to choke back a whimper as he covered his mouth with a hand. He felt his body tense, his tearful eyes staring at the flames as he attempted to compose himself, preventing an entire breakdown. The cruel reality was that the cards were stacked against them in every way possible.
As he continued to decline, Armin forced his eyes shut, shaking his head as he tried to clear his mind. Suddenly, he felt a tiny tug on his shirt, which had drawn his attention from his mind, his head lifting softly. He turned his glance towards Carla, who had a soft grasp on his shirt, babbling happily as she smiled, greeting him innocently. Armin felt his heart melt, his body relaxing a bit.
"Oh, daddy's sorry little one... I didn't greet you did I?" Armin cooed softly to her, watching as she reached her tiny hands out, flexing her fingers in a grabby hand formation. Armin moved to grab her softly, placing her in his lap. He smiled, allowing her tiny hands to grab onto his fingers as he carefully moved to pull her to her feet. Carla babbled happily as she kicked her feet out, testing the strength of her legs as she bounced softly against Armin's grasp. After a few moments, she fell back against Armin's lap, laughing happily as she clapped her hands. Armin couldn't hold back a small laugh, embracing her tightly against him, silently thanking her for the reassurance she had provided simply by existing in her most purest form.
"You're getting some strong legs butterfly... pretty soon mama's gonna have to be chasing you around here."
Mikasa watched her partner and daughter interact by the fire and she smiled softly. But there were signs of worry and anxiety in her eyes as she looked out the window that was behind the kitchen counter, seeing more and more snowflakes fall. She knew if snow was already falling this early, they were in for a brutal winter. Perhaps the most brutal Paradis had ever seen. Part of Mikasa had hoped it was merely a freak snowstorm and it would melt within the coming days...but her gut knew that wouldn't be the case. She saw those clouds, she knew something bad was going to hit.
When morning came, Mikasa was woken up by the light from the window seeming much brighter than usual. At first, this caused her to groan, covering her face but then as her foggy mind began to slowly clear...her heart sunk and her eyes opened as a newfound urgency hit her. Dreading it, she slowly pushed the covers off and looked out the window.
Sure enough, the ground was covered in a thick blanket of snow. It had to be at least a foot of it, maybe even two feet. The pine trees surrounding the property were also covered, their branches weighed down by the heavy white powder. The ends of their pines were crystalized in thick ice, and there was a noticeable line of long, sharp-ended icicles hanging from the cabin's roof as well as the barn's. It also felt much colder, even inside the cabin as Mikasa hugged herself before getting out of bed. She walked over to Armin's side, gently shaking him awake.
"Armin..." Her voice was gentle, but firm as she kept her eyes on the window. It looked like it had stopped falling...but it was still cloudy outside from what she could tell.
Armin had been met with an uneasy chill in the room. When he was shaken awake by his partner, it didn't take him much to open his eyes, sitting up as his eyes remained fixated on the window. Slowly he stood to his feet, walking over to the window as he rubbed the sleep from his groggy eyes. Mikasa stood at his side, wrapping her dark purple cardigan around herself, closing it up. Armin heaved a heavy sigh, hoping to prove his worries wrong, but as he felt his mind clear from his slumber, he noticed the thick blanket of snow outside. Any plantation on the ground had now been crushed by the heavy powder, and the pine trees had slouched while the dense snow weighed down their branches, occasionally falling onto the ground below. There was no sight of the ground beneath it anywhere, and the dark clouds proved the snowfall would pick up again soon.
Armin felt his heart sink at the sight, an audible gasp escaping his parted lips as he turned towards Mikasa with his widened eyes. He noticed the same anxious look on her features and attempted to compose himself, putting on his own strong front as he carefully moved to shut the curtains, hoping that their added fabric would insulate the warmth in the room.
"Okay... we need to insulate the cabin. Whatever old blankets we have, use them to cover gaps under the doors and exits to the cabin... Turn on the stove and get the fireplace going... I need to make sure the horses are okay." Armin was firm in his words, attempting to fog out his worried thoughts by distracting himself with the work he had laid ahead of him.