Irv
"Daddy could you read us another story?" Dominique asked.
"Princess, I already read y'all three. Daddy is tired, which mean y'all should be tired too. It's time to get some shut eye."
"You're only tired because your old!" Kyrie said throwing his two cents in.
"Old? I'll show you old!" I said, beginning to tickle him, and then his sister. "Come on, no more playing games. Goodnight, I love you both."
Closing the door to the twins' room, I retreated to the dining room with Denisha. Helping her clear the table from dinner, I was waiting for the kids to fall asleep just to focus solely on her. We talked about little things as we washed the dishes. Before retiring to her bedroom, I sat in the dining room to take a breather.
"You look exhausted."
"No kidding, this morning I just did two funerals. Turning right back around tomorrow to do it again. These boys had no families, no distant relatives living in a different state. They all was brought up together, fucking died together. Thousands or dollars for three caskets, that's not including funeral home cost. I tell you, they get you coming and going!"
"Why don't I run you a bath, we can relax together. Afterwards, I can give you an oiled up massage. Even tomorrow, I can come with you in support."
"The first half of that sounds real good, but no you are not coming with me."
Instantly when I turned her down, Denisha shoved my head in aggravation. "Why? I bet you going to have Korryn's ass with you!"
"First of all, no I'm not because that's dangerous and she knows better than to ask me that. Second, watch how you speak on my daughter."
"You make it seem like that's the only fucking kid you have!"
"Here we go with this again," I sighed.
"Yes, here we fucking go! Why Irv, why is it that she is the only one you can have around your business?"
"Korryn doesn't have a choice! I raised her all on my own, she doesn't have anybody else to go to if she loses me. Now that I established myself, I've met some classy women that will do anything for their children. I wasn't lucky with my first baby mother. If any nigga on the street found out about any of you, that's some real trouble for everyone. I'm talking death threats, kidnappings, real death! Last thing I need is for somebody to come for my family. I keep family and business separate; you know this."
"All I'm asking is to be a part of your life fully, 100 percent. I want more nights like this with the kids, I want a man! Not somebody that comes by just to give me some dick."
I turned looking back from the chair shockingly, "Oh you wanted some dick tonight?" I joked as if I didn't already know.
"Nothing is funny Irv! You don't call me your woman. You don't speak to me with compassion, you don't even say I love you. Not pressuring you to say it either, but I love you. I'm not going to get my feelings hurt if you not trying to return the same love."
I sighed once more, pulling her down to the chair that I was in so she could sit on my lap. "You've known me for six years, the kids are only five years old. —-."
"Before you go any further, your case is about to be proven wrong because your youngest child by that last bitch is two years old. So for the last duration of our relationship you didn't give a damn about me!"
"No, if you recall you wanted to argue and fight with my daughter. You said fuck me and that chinky eyed bitch, don't bring my light ass around you no more. So what I do? Stop bringing my light ass around you. I gave you what you wanted, but before that happened I was with you more than I was home. We just started getting back into the way of that, you mean a lot to me. If I didn't want you, I promise you I wouldn't be here. I swear, if I wanted some from somebody else. Do you really think it's hard for me to go get it?"
Getting up from my lap, she left me in the dining room alone, "Goodnight Irv."
Korryn
The next morning, I was set to go to this funeral with my dad. But he was not trying to hear that shit, all I'm trying to do is support the man in his time of need. I still disobeyed his wishes regardless of the danger it posed with me being there. When the Escalade took off, so did I. Business and personal should be separated, but I want to learn the aspects of this branch of this business no matter what.
This is the first funeral I ever been to, I didn't know the deceased personally but just the thought had sent my mind on a trip. I didn't lose it or anything, but the thug in me did get a little emotional.
It's just, I feel a piece of me is gone. I don't know my mother like that and it drives me crazy to think that she gave me up to my father so easily without a care. We don't talk about her, I stopped asking after a certain age. Part of me feels like she passed away and the possibility of reconciliation is dead too.
In the midst of my thoughts, Mecca thought I could use a hug. "You good?"
I turned away into his arms as the deceased's only brother, who works with my dad, requested to look at him one more time before lowering the body into the ground. "I'm good, I just want to get out of here," I answered.
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust." The preacher went on.
"You can ride out with me if you want," he suggested.
I signaled my pops that I was out, usually I wouldn't hop in the car with Mecca like that but I was ready to go.
"You act like you seen a ghost?" he mentioned once we were alone, cruising in his car down Slauson.
"First time seeing a dead body, I wasn't bothered. Just shook some things up is all."
"Want to talk about it?"
"Look, I appreciate the ride. But I'm not looking to be friends, I don't like you."
"I don't like you either, I'm just trying to change my ways."
"Whatever you say Mecca, I'm not entertaining your fool ass today."
He cackled a bit, "You hungry?"
"I can eat at the house."
Making an illegal U-turn in the middle of the road. Mecca replied, "You can eat now."
"Nigga, what the hell!" I said after shifting a bit with the turn hitting the window. "If you don't take me home I swear—"
"You'll what?" he interrupted, "Tell your pops? Shit, I ain't scared. This all a part of the job sweetheart. Finally got your ass to myself without his niggas eyeballing me, what!" Mecca looked happily over at me, "I'm about to take full advantage."
"You already have," I rolled my eyes, looking out towards the window.
"You sure know how to ruin a moment. I never made you do anything you didn't want to do."
"Whatever Mecca," I turned looking at the window.
"No, we going to talk about this shit right now! I'm tired of you taking digs at me like I'm the bad guy. Never in my life have I ever made a female do any fucking thing she didn't want to do."
"Mm, hard to believe!"
"When you was on my dick it's because you wanted to be, so what the fuck you still mad at me for?"
"All the fucking extra mind game shit, you didn't have to do all that! On god, I wish I never fucked you. Fucking with a fifteen-year-old, I was a minor, nigga you were twenty! You manipulated me after the fact and you know it. Who does that?" I shouted.
"Apparently you and I, that's who does that! I ain't heard no complaints, I'm just being real!"
"Stop talking to me man, I swear I fucking hate you!"
"No, I'm not going to stop talking, we going to squash this shit right now because I'm tired of the fucking attitude! You act like a little ass brat."
"You act like an immature punk ass bitch!" I continued to rant.
"Hold that thought, can I get a McPick two for three. Can I get two orders of a McDouble and chicken nuggets. Two small fries, what do you want to drink?"
"Who said I wanted a McDouble?"
"Let me get two Sprites, make sure my shit is fresh too please," Mecca said pulling up to the first window. "They know that nobody want yesterday's refried greasy ass shit."
"Okay," I readjusted myself back towards the window. "You think this is a game!"
Mecca paid for the food and pulled off, "What the fuck am I doing? I just brought your rude ass some food!"
"Fuck this cheap ass burger, take me the fuck home!"
"Don't eat it then, fuck it I'm hungry as hell anyway."
"Fuck you Mecca!"
"When?" he questioned leaning himself closer to me as we stopped at the light.
For real, I don't know what came over me but I grabbed that nigga and kissed him on the spot. Truth be told, probably has to do with the fact I haven't had any solid dick going on two years now. That's why my ass wasn't seeing clearly when Ceaser tried me, least I slept with Mecca before so it wouldn't have been a stretch if I went all the way again. We were stilling going at with when the traffic light turned green, with no one behind us we ended up sitting for another light.
Disengaging, it was silent as he raced all the way to my house. Nobody was there yet but the outside watch, Mecca came straight in scooping me away in his arms, heading right into my room. Throwing me down on my bed like old times, I quickly began taking off his belt buckle. That is, 'til we heard the front door open.
"Fuck, I'm dead man! I'm hard as shit and your pops is about to come in."
"Lean against the dresser like we having a normal conversation, place your suit jacket over your lap."
I could hear my pops throw down his jacket in the hallway. "Korryn, you home?"
"I'm in the room!" I shouted. "Mecca, this can't ever happen again!" I said, returning to my low tone.
"My fault, I won't cross that line."
"I wasn't in my right mind. I also don't know what you were trying to pull but I'm not interested. Last thing I want is to repeat what we went through years ago," I stated.
"I wasn't trying to cross that line with you. You was just talking all that shit and it was turning me on so I didn't stop. I'm really trying to make amends out here and get my shit together, I'm trying to do right for my little girl," Mecca said showing me a picture of his daughter.
"Wow, you? With a kid?" Shocked I looked at the picture on his phone. "She's a cutie pie, how old is she?"
"Two, I'm not trying to have no bad karma rolling around, you know what I'm saying?"
I sighed, "I've been holding a strong grudge over you. It's something about seeing you around smiling in my face that drives me crazy! I'd feel better if you wasn't a part of my dad's crew but you are, so I have no choice but to see you daily. But if you really stand by your actions, I'll let it go in the name of your daughter. Truce?"
"Truce," he smirked shaking my hand.
"What are you doing back here?" Pops entered, coming in my room.
"Mecca was just keeping me company 'til you came home. I had to dip a little early after they reopened the casket, it's crazy how often you go through that."
"Well I'm here so company has to leave, we about to have a repast meeting. Get going, out!" Pops ordered Mecca out the room.
"Am I invited to this catered dinner?" I asked.
"I'll have somebody send back a plate."
Irv
If the streets don't kill me, the stress will.
"Alright everybody, settle down. We need to regroup and refocus. Three deaths within a few days of each other, we got no answers on how it happened. So with that being said, we are a family, we all have to do our part and look out for one another. Take care of each other! When I eat, we all eat. No man at this table is better than the other, I want you all to know that! Somebody is trying to fuck up what we got going on, I want it done and dead before it gets too far. Too much is on the line. So, for tonight, we eat. Tomorrow, we work harder than ever. A'Kyde, say grace."
"Heavenly Father, we thank you for the nourishment this food is going to bestow on our bodies. Thank you for bringing us together, for those who can't be here we'll continue to move forward and stay strong for them. In your name we pray, amen."
"I could have done better than that elementary school prayer," Ceaser said being the first to make his plate.
"Excuse me for not being the religious type, I spoke from the heart at least," A'Kyde rebutted.
"Only man there is to fear is God, you better find him before it's too late boy." Ceaser pointed in his face.
"Last time I checked we grown men at this table, I don't see a fucking boy in sight."
"Y'all please shut the fuck up, we don't want to hear that shit!" I shouted.
Peace finally took over the table, as everybody ate and drank all the beer they could while I sat quiet trying to make moves in my head. Trying to read out if there's really a fake amongst my guys. Guess it don't matter how big or small your circle is, anybody can switch up at any minute. Nevertheless, I just have to watch myself more carefully. A shipment is coming in tomorrow, I need to make sure everything runs smoothly.
"Kean, you are on deck tomorrow to work the dog kennel," I said assigning roles, he sucked his teeth in aggravation. "A'Kyde and Kaeto I need you to pick up the shipment with me, we need to be there early tomorrow for the drop. So Kaeto, don't fuck it up I'm trusting you. Jimmy, Mecca, Young, and everybody else, I hope you get a nice cup of coffee because you'll be packaging and selling all day. Ceaser, I got something special for you. Hold tight."
"Hold up, what is the special request? Why can't I be on the team with you, you switching up the routine to bring on Kaeto? The same one who pissed off Oscar?"
"Nigga don't hate the player, hate the game! Punk ass bitch, that's my brother! I'll always come before any of you niggas in this room, remember that!" Kaeto asserted himself.
"Enough! Damn I might as well employ a bunch of bitches the way y'all act. It's not a fucking competition, Kaeto needs to carry his weight, brother or not. After that stunt I'm letting his ass live, I'm just trying to get a feel where he needs to be. Out on the streets or running the kennel."
"I ain't running no fucking dog kennel, you can leave that to these young niggas," Kaeto insisted.
"Just fucking play your parts. In the meantime, get y'all heads right. Kaeto before I forget, can you send this plate back to Korryn?"
Korryn
"Girl yeah, I ain't doing shit tomorrow. I think I'm going to check on Princess, see if she had her puppies. If you want, you can scoop me up for that?" I asked as Peanut and I talked on the phone.
"I'll see, your boyfriend asked if I could take him to his job interview."
"Boyfriend? Who was dicking me down and I ain't know?" I questioned, confused as hell.
"Sebastian!"
"Girl bye, Sebastian want to hit this like the rest of these niggas. But I'm not interested. Where he getting a job at?"
"Footlocker, you know his ass is just going to boost some sneakers!"
"Girl hold on, I got a knock at the door. Finally somebody brought me my damn food."
Kaeto let himself in, just as I got up to open the door. "All you young girls do is talk about nothing when y'all on the phone."
"Peanut, let me call you back ... Get the fuck out my room," I asserted once hanging up.
"Besides your pops, I'm the only other nigga allowed in this room."
"You also the only nigga of blood relation that walks around so mighty, knowing he has done so wrong."
"Baby girl, what's with you bringing up old shit?"
"Don't call me that! You ain't shit, never will be shit. Drunk stankin' ass! My dad gives you chance after chance, you let him down each time. I told you to stay the fuck out my way, come around me with that bullshit again and I will finish what you started."
Kaeto stepped close and swiped his hand softly on the side of my face, I tried to avoid but he then placed his hand on the back of my neck.
"Word of advice young niece, don't ever try and beat me at my own shit. Now I'm trying to be nice and all rehabilitated with my life!"
"Ain't no amount of rehabilitation that can ever fix you!"
"Don't ever try to kick a nigga when he's down, because he will stay down and do some things niggas won't expect. Then people going to wonder why he can't get right."
"Fucking someone's nineteen your old daughter, isn't that a little old for your taste? Besides, you can't get any fucking lower than you already are! You lucky my pops ain't fuck you up over that stunt!"
"That was just the first piece of ass I ran into after being released who gave it up with no money down. Haven't had my hands on you yet!"
"On my momma, you never fucking will again, weird ass nigga!"
"Never say never!" Kaeto grinned, running his hand down my back side.
Feeling as though I was beginning to scream, only a whisper came out. "Get the fuck out my room!"
Kaeto grinned while letting out a chuckle, "Enjoy the plate niece. Go ahead and talk back with your little girlfriend. I'll see you later."
Kaeto finally left, I stood in the middle of my room clutching my arms together boiling mad. Repressed feelings were trying to resurface, but I wouldn't allow them. Couldn't decide what I was about to do, leave or stay mad. I chose instead to lock my door and lay my ass in the bed going to sleep early.
The situation with Kaeto has me baffled at the way I chose to handle it. In the past I was confused, hurt, and angry. Only reason I got through it was telling myself it could be worse. This nigga could take it too far and end up raping me. Kaeto is fucked up, but not even he could do that. Trust, he tried. Kaeto was strapped with a raincoat on and ready to go. Had himself in position but didn't go through with it.
My dad was right, we used to be close. He's my only uncle but he was also my favorite person to be around. Only Kaeto himself can explain why he chose to touch me and do other unmentionable acts. I can't speak for someone else's actions. Since I been keeping quiet and he's come back around, at times he acts like we can be cool again. Other times, I feel like he tries to break me seeing as though I don't let the past affect me dramatically like most victims. Like most shit I dealt with, I just sweep it under the rug not knowing how my dad would react, and consciously not want to break a once happy home. I took the blame internally and kept it moving.
Next morning, I didn't get out my bed 'til noon. My phone rang and I didn't answer it, it blew up with text messages too, but I didn't look at one. Wasn't until my dad came in the room that I finally moved a muscle.
"Rise and shine, get up and get the day started. I have a surprise for you." Enthusiasm took over him this morning.
"When did you come back? I thought you would be gone all day."
"Had to handle some business, then had a cancellation but now something else popped up. So like I planned anyway, Ceaser is going to take you out as a favor for me."
"Do I have to go?" I complained.
"Yes! Come on, you are gonna like it! Shower, get dressed, and please don't take long he's waiting."
Not wanting to get out of bed I did it regardless. Didn't bother with makeup, went natural today. Entering Ceaser's car, I didn't say a word at first.
"Your pops thought it would be a good idea to take you browsing for a car," Ceaser mentioned as we rode to the nearest dealership.
"This is something I could have waited for. He and I could have done it together," I tossed my hands up in anger. "Come to think of it, him and I were supposed to talk the other day, but he came home late ass hell. Probably was dealing with Denisha crazy ass."
"That's the same thing that I said when he asked me to do this. But I'm just doing what the man says. Anything the hood princess wants, she gets."
Hood Princess? Well damn, my story must be in relation to Rapunzel. But except being trapped in my room, I'm trapped within my environment. For instance, I have come to the realization that I have a father who would much rather hustle than be home to give his daughter attention. His other damn kids that don't live with us get to see him more than I do. Sure, I get the perk of having a title many hood booger ass bitches wish they could have, with borrowed power just off using my father name alone, and niggas lined up around the block to kiss my ass.
I'm struggling to live up to this title given to me while shit is beginning to breakout around me. Last night showed me that I don't have a handle on things like I thought and I'm completely torn on what to do.
"I rather look at the inside of my room, I don't even want to do this shit," I moped.
"What's wrong with you?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Look, I could be doing some important shit right now. But instead I'm doing something I could care less about, babysitting type shit. Make my day interesting."
"What does it feel like when you kill someone?" I questioned out of the blue.
"Why, who you trying to off?"
"Nobody, yet."
Ceaser pulled over to the curb on the intersection to talk more in depth. "What's going on Korryn?"
"It's all about my path, I told you I don't want to get into the drug game. It sounds stupid but, I just want to be lethal. Nobody to mess with out here! Somebody wants a hired hit woman, you're gone. Somebody in the way, you're gone!"
"I mean, unless drugs are in the middle of it, I don't think that is a career move that is possible for you."
"Why? Shit, with me being a female, I can take out big people on top. Play my cards right, give a nigga the illusion he about to hit, and take his ass out just like that."
Ceaser scoffed. "I don't even know why I'm entertaining this. You don't have the stomach or mentality to kill someone."
"Who the fuck are you to tell me what I can and can't do or what I have?"
Ceaser looked at me for a second, then started the engine up to take off. "Alright, I ain't your pops so I ain't going to tell you no. You want a body to your name, you got one."
"You serious?"
"Yeah, you ever heard the term loose lips sink ships?"
"Yeah, somebody out here snitching?"
"Basically, he threw an old homeboy of mine under the bus to some people who was looking for him. That homeboy ain't here anymore, they killed his ass three weeks ago."
"Damn Cease, I'm sorry about that."
"I'm sure you know the golden rules to the streets, well what ol' buddy did is something you just don't do. Recently, I found his whereabouts, we about to pull up on his ass right now. Whatever the circumstance was that caused his ass to sell out my homeboy, he crossed the line, you should never give people second chances. Side note, never let somebody make you look stupid in this streets, you'll lose your respect out here and have your ass looking dumb! Ain't no fear in that."
"We really about to kill this man?"
"It ain't no 'we'. Just you!"