Summary: Carina comes out to Stella. Narcisa talks about her memories of her sisters. Carina boards the Hogwarts Express for another school year.
My summer holidays are better than I thought they'd be considering that my father wanted to disown me, only he didn't do it because Mum wouldn't let him. As well as having Stella here at home, the two of us have exchanged letters with some of our friends: Theodore, Emma, Aster, Ginny, and my Gryffindor roommates. Emma even vents in her letters about her aunt and uncle and how unbearable they and her cousin are. I even invite her to spend the rest of the summer with us, but she reminds me that it wouldn't be a good idea, both because she wouldn't leave Harry alone with their aunt and uncle, and because my father would probably never allow a Potter in Malfoy Manor.
I'm sitting hunched over my desk in my bedroom, so focused on writing a letter to Hermione that I don't notice the sound of my bedroom door opening and someone's footsteps approaching me.
"Who are you writing to?" I jump when I hear the curious question from Stella, who is standing behind me trying to look at the letter.
"I'm only writing to Hermione..." I reply quickly, for some reason feeling my face heat up.
I put the letter away to finish writing at another time, since I know that with Stella here I won't be able to concentrate on finishing it. I then turn the chair I'm sitting on towards Stella, who is now sitting on the end of my bed, looking at me with a mischievous smirk.
"What?" I ask, nervous to see the smirk on her face.
She giggles before replying. "Nothing... It's just that you got all red and flustered by my question..."
"I... I was just surprised! That's all..." I reply quickly, my voice showing my nervousness.
Her mischievous smirk only increases when she sees my nervousness. "Rina, do you have a crush on Hermione?"
Now I really can't hide my reaction from Stella. My face, which was already red, manages to turn even redder. Instead of answering her, all I can do is stutter, not knowing what to say. I hadn't planned on telling Stella, at least not now.
The smile on her face disappears, her expression is now serious. "You really do have a crush on her, don't you?"
I can't look her in the eye at the moment, I look at the floor, at my feet, at anything that isn't Stella. As I was already afraid of her reaction (and everyone else's) because of this secret of mine, for telling her who I am, I immediately interpret the serious expression on her face as something bad, I think she must think I'm a freak or something. I feel tears forming in my eyes and I blink several times quickly, trying to get rid of them.
Both because of the tears blurring my vision and the fact that I was staring at the floor, I don't notice Stella getting up from my bed and approaching me, putting her hands on my shoulders.
"Hey..." she catches my eye, causing me to reluctantly raise my head and look her in the eye. "I'm not angry or upset or anything, okay? I'm just surprised."
I sniff. "You're not...?"
Stella smiles gently. "Of course not, Rina. You're my sister. You're my family. There's nothing in the world that could make me stop seeing you with pride and love."
I hug her desperately, the hug is so strong and catches her so by surprise that she unbalances and falls backwards, thankfully my bed was nearby, cushioning her fall.
"I understand that you don't want to tell me something like that, especially considering what our families believe..." Stella starts to say. "But I love you no matter who you like." We sit in silence for a few seconds before she asks a curious question. "You only like girls then?"
I nod my head.
"You know, thinking about it now, that makes a lot of sense." Stella says with a chuckle.
I look at her, curious. "What makes sense?"
"You liking girls, you not liking boys." Stella begins. "I know that your parents, especially your father, have been trying to find a pure-blood boy for you to marry in the future ever since we were little. You never gave a damn about any of them and... And I'm pretty sure that at some point you had a crush on Blaise's older sister..."
I feel my face heat up... That's why my family even thought I had a crush on Blaise when I was younger.
Stella smirks again. "I'm right, aren't I?"
I look down before answering her. "Almost... It wasn't his sister I had a crush on..."
Stella looks confused before she realises what I'm talking about. She raises her eyebrows in shock. "His mum?!"
I slowly nod my head, looking even redder than before. Stella starts laughing and I end up laughing along with her, more out of nervousness than anything else.
Our laughter is interrupted as soon as we hear someone knocking on the door, which is already open. We both stop laughing and turn towards the entrance to my room. There's my mum, standing by the door with a smile on her face.
"I don't want to interrupt you, girls." my mum starts to say. "I just came to tell you that dinner is almost ready, so as soon as you've finished whatever you're doing, you can go down to the dining room."
We both nod. I quickly wipe away the tears that remain on my face, so that Mum doesn't suspect anything. Stella looks at me purposefully, as if silently asking if I'm going to tell my mum about what she's just discovered. I shake my head. If my mum notices this exchange between the two of us, she doesn't say anything.
Mum walks over to us and sits down on my bed, next to where we are. She looks at us with a smile, but it seems to be a look of longing, perhaps missing something.
"You know, seeing the two of you together like this, having your own little secrets, getting along so well, reminds me of my childhood." my mum starts to say. She sighs before continuing. "It reminds me of my sisters, Bella and Andy..."
Stella and I exchange glances. She knows it's rare for Mum to talk about her sisters, especially considering that one is in Azkaban and the other was disowned years ago. I can tell from the look in her eyes and her voice that Mum misses her two older sisters.
"Were you close, Aunt Cissa?" Stella asks.
Mum smiles, a longing smile, and hugs Stella from the side before answering. "We were, darling. Bella was always very protective of me, always very adventurous, a troublemaker... But Bella and I never fought, the fights were usually between her and Andy."
Stella and I listen to the story that my mum tells very attentively, even more so considering that this is something rare, stories from her childhood and adolescence involving her sisters.
"I was always the peacemaker, of course." Mum chuckles as she tells it, most likely recalling memories with her sisters. "I was always the one who broke up the fights, who tried to calm them down, to make them forgive each other. Well, up until a certain point, of course..." her face, which a few seconds ago had been smiling, is now very serious. I notice that Mum blinks several times trying to disguise the tears that are starting to form in her eyes.
Stella and I look at each other again. We know what my mum must be thinking: when Aunt Andromeda (or Aunt Andy) was disowned, when mum had to choose between Andromeda and the rest of her family.
"Well, I don't want to spoil the happy mood of the two of you with sad stories..." my mum says, pulling herself together. "Dinner should be ready now, shall we?"
She gets up and walks towards the door, with us right behind.
No one has mentioned Aunt Bella or Aunt Andy again since. The summer soon comes to an end, and with that, Stella, Draco and I are back at King's Cross with our trunks, about to board the Hogwarts Express. With a kiss and a hug for each of the three of us, Mum bids us farewell. We board the train together, until Draco finds his classmates and joins them in one of the compartments.
Stella and I find an empty compartment, and a few seconds later Theodore joins us. That's when I tell Theodore that Stella found out about me being a lesbian, and I tell him about my crush on Hermione.
"Wait a minute," says Stella. "Did he know?" she points to Theodore. "Why did Theodore know all this time? I'm even offended that he found out before I did..." she says, joking.
I look at Theodore, who seems to be contemplating whether or not to tell Stella about his own secret. He then seems to make up his mind, because he signals for me to tell her.
"Stella, Theo only knew because he understands this more than anyone... Because we're both different from the others in that sense." I say.
Stella looks from me to Theodore, I don't know how she doesn't get dizzy looking from one to the other so many times, turning her head so quickly, while she seems to realise what I've just said.
"You're..." she starts to say.
"Yes." Theo interrupts her before she can complete her sentence.
Stella, who was sitting next to me facing Theo, gets up and hugs him tightly, before sitting down next to me again.
"So you mean... You two never liked each other as more than friends?" she asks us.
Theodore and I laugh. "Of course not!"
"It's just that... now it makes a lot more sense because at Sacred Twenty-Eight events you two are always together... I always thought that... I mean, not just me, I think everyone thought that you two..." Stella turns to me. "Rina, you do realise that your parents are pretty sure it's Theodore you're going to marry in the future, don't you?"
I sigh, tired just imagining my parents proud of their little girl eventually marrying a man whose family is also part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. "I know..."
Stella then turns to Theodore. "What about you? Which boy do you fancy, then?"
Theodore instantly turns red. "Oh... I..."
Luckily for him, we're interrupted when Ginny appears and opens the door to our compartment.
"I'm glad we found you, we can sit here, can't we?" she asks.
I'm confused about who she's talking about, until I see Emma approaching.
"Of course you can." Theodore replies.
The two are about to walk in when Harry appears behind Emma and grabs her by the arm. What catches my eye is not this, but the fact that Hermione is right behind Harry. For a few seconds it seems as if the world around me doesn't exist, because all I can notice is how beautiful Hermione looks. I feel my face burn as soon as Hermione notices me and gives me a little smile to greet me.
I'm brought back to reality when I feel an elbow in my ribcage. "Ouch!" I complain.
"You were staring..." says Stella, laughing.
"To tell you the truth, you were almost drooling..." says Theodore.
My face flushes again, but I quickly pull myself together as soon as Ginny enters our compartment. I don't understand why Emma doesn't join us (since I wasn't paying much attention to anyone but Hermione), and Ginny quickly explains to me that her idiot (in her own words) brother wouldn't let her join them (Harry, Emma, Ron and Hermione) in the compartment they went to.
So my journey to Hogwarts is with Stella, Theodore and Ginny. We end up chatting about anything other than the subject we were talking about before Ginny arrived, and at some point during the journey to the school the train starts to slow down until it comes to a sudden stop.
The four of us are startled. Stella falls to the ground because of the sudden stop. I also hear some suitcases falling off the luggage rack because of the stop. Seconds later the lights go out and we're in total darkness.
"What could have happened?" I ask.
"I have no idea..." says Theodore.