For the last few days Lola had been feeling guilty. Not that she had done anything wrong but everything was reminding her of the Evan and Eddie situation. It almost felt like she was seeing signs everywhere making her feel worse.
Like right now as she sat in Wrens car on the way to their hair appointment listening to the new Taylor Swift album.
I keep recalling things we never did
This had the girl hyper focused on the song.
Without ever touching his skin how can I be guilty as sin.
After hearing that the girl reached for the radio turning the music off trying to ignore the weird look she was getting from her best friend.
~
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LXLA Guilty as sin?
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EVAN: Can you meet for coffee?
LOLA: Sure.
~
Lola was surprised seeing that text as she was finishing her hair appointment. She texted him letting him know where she was and that she could meet him soon.
Having Wren drop her off she sat in the car anxiously as she hadn't seen the boy in days. Once they got there Lola turned and said goodbye to her friend before walking in and ordering a coffee, waiting for her name to be called before going to find the Buckley boy.
Though he was nervous Buck did a good job at hiding it as he sat at the table waiting for the girl. He knew he owed her an explanation as he had basically ghosted her since their date.
He had only been sitting at the table for a few minutes before he saw the girl walk out holding a cup. She glanced around before spotting him and smiling.
"Hi" She said sitting down across from him. Buck couldn't lie and say he wasn't surprised that she didn't seem upset after not hearing from him.
"Hi"
"How've you been" She said at the same time as he said "I just wanted to explain everything"
"I appreciate that but you really don't have to explain anything to me. You don't owe me an explanation" The words were flowing out but a part of her knew she did deserve an explanation.
"But I do because I do like you and I don't want you to think that I don't... It's just Maddie basically got kidnapped by her ex husband and Chimney got stabbed so i've been with them."
And Lola almost wanted to laugh thinking he was joking. Noticing the completely serious look on his face she held that one in knowing it wasn't a joke.
"Your serious" He nodded
"Are they okay? I saw Eddie and he didn't mention anything had happened. If I knew I would've checked in"
"You saw Eddie?" She rolled her eyes at the fact that the only thing he took out of that was her seeing his coworker.
"Yeah me and Sofia ran into him and Chris at the mall. Sofia went over to his house after and I picked her up."
"Eddie didn't mention that"
"It wasn't anything big just a few hours" He decided to leave the topic at that still confused on why Eddie hadn't mentioned their run in to him.
Once they moved past that topic the two of them sat there for an hour before parting ways, promising to see each other on Friday for their second date.
~
EDDIE: Me and Chris are going to the park if you and Sofia want to come
LOLA: We would love to!
~
When the two girls got to the park they immediately noticed the father and son duo. Christopher saw the girls first dragging his dad over. The two kids quickly ran off going to play, leaving the two adults alone on a bench.
"I heard you saw Buck today" Was what Eddie started off with.
"I did and thank you so much for the heads up that his sister was kidnapped." She said sarcastically while rolling her eyes.
"Wasn't my place to say anything, I didn't want to get involved in your lovers quarrel" She rolled her eyes again.
"Next time maybe a warning would be nice"
"I'll see what I can do"
This ended the conversation as they sat in silence for many minutes watching to the two kids play.
"He's such a happy kid" Lola said breaking the silence "I've never seen a kid as happy and carefree as he is"
This made the Diaz man smile "He doesn't feel sorry for himself ever, sometimes I almost feel bad when I do because he's never negative."
"It must be hard... Raising him by yourself and working such a time consuming job."
"Yeah it has its rough moments but I wouldn't change my life for anything."
"I hope this isn't overstepping but can I ask about his mother?"
"She's not in the picture. When I got back from my tour she walked out on us... On him... Haven't seen her since but that's probably for the best."
"I'm sorry. That must've been really hard on you." The girl automatically felt bad for bringing it up and starting this conversation.
"I mean I basically did the same thing." He didn't know why he was telling this to the girl he barely knew but he couldn't stop himself "I could've come home much sooner than I did but I was scared so I ran."
Neither of them had noticed they were moving closer and closer as this conversation went on.
"You're a good father and you're raising a great kid. You deserve more credit than what you're giving yourself."
"So what about you and Sofia. What's the story there?" He was genuinely curious. He knew that they weren't actually related but he didn't know what their dynamic was.
"When I first moved her I needed something to take up my time so I joined this program that basically puts you with a kid who has a rough home life and once a week your supposed to go out and do things with them." She paused looking at Sofia "I've been with Sofia for years and she's grown on me. I try and get her out of her house as much as I can. Her parents are addicts and there's always something sketchy going on in that house. I've tried so many times to try and get her out but it's a lot more complicated than you'd think... So for now when she calls i'm there."
Eddie didn't know what came over him in that moment. He didn't know when they had gotten so close, close enough to each other that he could smell the perfume she was wearing.
Lola looked over at him feeling the man's eyes on her. Next thing she knew he was leaning in.
"Eddie I can't i'm sorry" She said before he could get any closer.
"No I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry"
"We should go, i'll see you around" She hurriedly got up grabbing her things and walking towards Sofia.
~
That's how Lola ended up in her bed unable to sleep staring at the ceiling.
She had a guilty conscience.
Not because she did anything wrong but because for a moment she didn't want to stop Eddie. And she felt terrible.
Her thoughts were running wild but after hours of stressing herself out she finally let her eyes close as she fell asleep.
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This chapter was heavily inspired by the new Taylor album because i'm obsessed with guilty as sin