(April/18/2024) [Thursday, 5:36 PM]
Hello everyone. . . Um.. well I just decided to update. Because, I felt like I needed to...
Uh, well something happened with.. Ri. She says that she is getting sadistic and violent thoughts when she normally doesn't get those types of thoughts. I normally feel comforted around her, but now I'm starting to get a bad feeling about her... I didn't want to tell her about this but.. even though she'll see it ... I'm going to type it either way..
I don't know why but, even though she says that she cares about me and loves me.. I'm getting a feeling like she isn't telling the truth, I think she's lying. And... I'm getting concerned for her because, I don't want her to become like "her father" since, "her father" kidnaps children... And hang's their guts on tall trees. I don't want her to hurt me... She told me to leave her alone for a few weeks and I decided to just leave her alone...
Again, she says that she loves me and cares about me but, I genuinely feel like she's lying.. I mean, she has been nice to me but, if she goes insane.. she can still turn on me. I'm just scared.. i don't want to lose her to.. that thing.. or "her father..."
Well . . . I'll just leave her alone. Hopefully she gets better soon. Well now I'm going to talk about a few things that happened to me.
Speaking about Ri, I had a dream about her.
Uh, so basically what happened is that: I was walking around outside alone for some reason and then.. i bumped into her and I kept saying "oh! Hey you came to Florida!" I was hugging and talking to Ri and I basically took her to my house. And I don't know why but, Ri wanted me to carry her so I just carried her. (Very unrealistic because, I feel like I wouldn't be able to pick her up) and when we came into my house, and then.. basically there was a shooting, we all went inside and I barricaded the door while my dad called the police.. and then i woke up.
... Well, I'm going to list my symptoms.
- Feeling tired
- More hungry/Less hungry
- Severe amnesia
- Waking up randomly
- Paranoia
- Wanting to see blood/Craving blood
- Being in a bad mood (Or Mood swings?)
- Starting to hate everyone again...
I woke up again, two or three times yesterday. I genuinely don't remember at all.
Yesterday, I don't know if it was just me.. but, I heard a few knocks on my window.. I didn't know if it was my dad or not.. he was outside but, he was near the front door he wasn't near the window... So I don't know..
Well. . . That's it. I'll be honest, I didn't even want to update because, I'm in a bad mood now.. because of my parents and.. Rose (Ri) well goodbye. . . 🥀
Update: (7:03 PM)
Okay uh... I'm currently having a mental breakdown, because of everything... Don't worry, I'll be fine.. I just feel very upset and angry, because something happend.. I feel a bit lonely and upset...