This bonus chapter is dedicated to Kevin, with thanks for all the support you have given me. Thank you!
Ness didn't say much on the train ride. Tegan didn't either. In fact, the only sincere words that passed between them for the whole journey were "thank you".
As the train passed Pine Ridge, an announcement from a tinny speaker in the corner of the carriage listed the stations that they would be passing through. "... Flint on the Hoole, Claret, Ridgehold, Fellowspar, Moistville University, Moistville Junction, Langerton, Middlebrook, Highvale ..." The list of stations just went on and on, and Tegan found herself wondering how many of them were tiny rural stops like Morganston, unknown even to people who lived nearby. They certainly weren't town she knew the names of, aside from Pine Ridge – where she had expected to be catching the train until she found that Morganston had a station of its own – and larger places like Mercer Interchange and Moistville itself. As the voice continued, she was surprised to learn that this train went all the way to the coast, in a journey that must take hours.
Ness was sitting opposite her, not saying anything. He had a ticket in his hand, and kept staring down at it. Tegan couldn't begin to guess what was going through his mind, but she knew that there was probably something she was supposed to say in this situation. She didn't know what it was, though, which made the realisation almost completely unhelpful.
She tried watching the scenery rush past outside the window, but after five minutes the endless parade of trees, farms, and picturesque streams began to get boring. Still, she couldn't think of anything to say, so she allowed herself to start humming instead. That, at least, got a little smile from her brother. For a moment she wondered if he was going to join in, and found herself wondering whether that would have been reassuring or just weird. But he didn't make a sound, just listened attentively. As she moved on to the rock clarinet part from Dances With Eternity, she did notice that his fingers were tapping out a complex piece of the drum part against his thigh; a silent accompaniment.
"You like music, don't you?" she asked, when she reached the end of the song. "And you've got talent too. I know your dad said you haven't played since... you know. But you're still listening and remembering. You're not that out of practice."
"Thank you," he nodded.
'What am I doing?' Tegan thought. 'I'm practically trying to make friends with the bully, as if that could ever work. Opening up just makes me vulnerable, there's no way I can expect him not to take advantage of any advantage I give him.' But despite the protestations from her inner voice, she couldn't see an easy way to interrupt this conversation now. She could tell herself that she was just trying to find out more about him, to make sure that he didn't humiliate her again, but once she'd posed a question it wouldn't be that easy to just end the conversation.
"I mean..." she mumbled. "You study, don't you? Theory, I mean. You might have had talent when you were, what, six? Seven? But I can't believe you'd have all the terminology and the theoretical understanding of it. That's like a whole different field. I think maybe..." She hesitated before saying the next words on her mind. She wondered if this could be a way to take back her advantage; to get inside his head and predict him a little better. But before she could do anything like that, she knew that she would have to just ask the question. And if it was the kind of thing a real friend would be curious about, that was just coincidence. This was a carefully calculated strategic move to take down the bully, and now Tegan was playing to win. "I think you stopped playing because it hurts too much. But you'd learned so much already that music still keeps on speaking to you. When your dad took you to hear Franklin's Muse, you couldn't stop trying to understand how the music works, and how it conveys those emotions. And even if you weren't playing it, you listened, and studied. Along with all those science books. The music's always been a part of your life, even if you don't play it. Am I right?"
He paused, and she could see long words lining up behind his eyes. There was a lot he wanted to share, and he clearly wanted to put the thoughts into some kind of order before he could say them aloud. But just when it seemed he was about to open his mouth:
"This is Moistville University," the tinny voice came from the speaker in the corner again. "We are now stopping at Moistville University. Passengers with bicycles should alight here for Moistville, as the elevators at Moistville Junction are undergoing maintenance. I repeat, passengers requiring step-free access should disembark here for Moistville. This is Moistville University."
The doors slid open as soon as the train was fully stopped, and then the message started to repeat. Ness was already gathering up his bag and checking that he hadn't dropped anything, and whatever that strange moment had been, it had passed now.
Tegan found herself thinking again about how best to deal with Ness as they disembarked. She didn't really want to hurt him, not after everything he had suffered. But he had made her wet herself twice now; maybe three times if a little leak had been his fault too. She couldn't let him think it was okay to keep picking on her, and she absolutely couldn't let him get to know any of her friends and start rumours about her. And that was where a new plan started to form in her mind. She already knew that he hadn't had any friends through most of his high school years, having to be home schooled thanks to unspecified behavioural issues. So he would probably have problems making friends again, maybe driving people away if he hadn't learned to control his temper. So she could try to help him, for some interpretations of "help". She could sabotage his social life, and make sure that the people he talked to would never trust what he said. It felt a little cruel, perhaps, but he'd made her wet the bed. This was nothing in comparison, especially if he was already used to not having people to talk to.
"You looking forward to making new friends at university?" she asked him as they stepped down onto the platform. "I heard you didn't know many people lately, and we're both new to the area, so maybe we should stick together a little longer. Put the pranks behind us. I mean... we're going to be on the train together every day, we should try to make friends. If I help you to integrate into the social side of studies, would that make up for the things I said when I didn't know what happened?"
She offered her hand to shake. Ness hesitated for a second, like he was going to march away angry, but then took her hand.
"I'm not that sure I want to have friends," he said slowly. "I mean, there's a part of me that just thinks... Look, I just want you to understand, right? Yeah, I'm going to push you away. But it's nothing personal, it's not something you need to get even for, or whatever you're thinking of. It's just that I don't need to be surrounded by people who won't be there when I need them. I have no intention of being your friend. I've got my studies, and my books. That's enough. I don't need friends as well. It's not a problem with you at all, it's just me being... You know what I mean there. It's not because of anything you've done, it's just that I don't think I need friends. But we can still be civil. After all, if we're going to be spending months or years of our lives under the same roof, we should at least be comfortable in the same place," Tegan found herself nodding in time with his steady pumping of her hand. His voice was falling back into a regular cadence now, with all the nervousness evaporating, and he sounded a lot more certain about what he was saying.
That was only natural, of course. The things he was saying were so logical, and so natural, that it was impossible to imagine disagreeing with even a word. She just kept on nodding, shaking his hand, and answering any questions he asked. She didn't need to think about those questions too much, they were all about mundane things like how she planned to find friends, and her plans to sabotage his social life. As much as she was thinking about anything at that point, Tegan got the impression that he was somewhat amused as she laid out her schemes. But for the most part she was just listening to him speak, the words a steady monotone so dull that it was hard to remember what he'd said just a few minutes later. It was all common sense anyway, so there wasn't really so much of a reason to think about it.
"That's good," he said. "I'm glad you talked to me. But don't worry, it's not such a big deal. Crowds of students aren't really my thing. I mean..." he released her hand to give an emphatic shrug. "Can you really imagine me going out on the town, doing all the classic stuff like drinking too much and dancing?"
"Not really," Tegan said with a chuckle of her own at the incongruous image in her mind. "I mean, I'm not sure how much of the crazy stuff is real anyway, it's probably just Hollywood students that are like that. I mean, I've got a couple of cousins who went to college, and I heard about it from one of my brothers, and not one of them ever mentioned that crazy fraternity thing. Maybe the real life is a lot tamer than you think. And having someone you share something with has to be good, doesn't it?"
Ness gave a half-shrug, which could have meant that he was considering her suggestion. Then he double-checked the letter in his hand for probably the tenth time, and walked off in the direction of his first class. Tegan knew there wasn't much else she could say there, even if she didn't quite understand what he'd spent so long telling her. There was nobody else on the platform now, and a quick glance at the clock told her that they'd been talking for more than twenty minutes since the train arrived. It really didn't feel like it had been that long.
This station couldn't have been more different from the one at Morganston. Everything was perfect, and a real effort had been made to ensure it looked new. Between the rails there were three long, white platforms which were so shiny they could have been polished; and it almost made Tegan surprised that they weren't slippery to walk on. The walls to either side were white as well, although most of them was taken up by murals the size of a football field, depicting what she assumed were scenes of notable alumni showing off their greatness in sports on one wall, or in politics on the other. There was only one face Tegan recognised in the collection: Cynthie Vandeboom receiving a lifetime achievement award. Although she had to admit that she might have known the names of some of the others, and even been able to pick them out if she'd seen the big picture a few days after spending hours staring at pictures and videos of them, And above the mural, she was even more impressed to see the pictures moving. There was a computer screen up there, of truly epic proportions. The video arched overhead, and blended into the two murals so well that it took careful attention to pick out the dividing line.
Tegan could have stared at the display for hours; but she knew that she had somewhere to be. It was incredible, though, how different this station was from the one at Morganston. There, they couldn't even afford to sweep litter from the platform more than once a week.
"Guess they put all the budget into the big stations," she muttered under her breath.
"Actually," a chirpy voice answered, startling her when she realised there was someone so close to her shoulder. "The exhibit is paid for by the university arts department. Which is to say, when it doesn't pay for itself. You heard of Stiefen Urgan? Making big waves in the world of counterimpressionist art now. He was a graduate the year before last, his work had just been installed when I started studying here. Designing something for a real public installation, with a purpose, helps students to show that they understand the world of contemporary art. But last Christmas they took the murals down and sold them for twelve million, by some collector in Arizona who wanted the cachet of owning Urgan's first masterpiece. It gets changed once or twice most years, when a student wants to design something for it, and the department nearly always makes a profit."
"Wow," Tegan mumbled, and then turned around, still getting over her surprise at seeing a familiar face here. She knew she shouldn't have been too surprised, but maybe it would make it a little easier for her to join in with the social side of life in Moistville. "I mean... fancy seeing you here. You stalking me or something?"
"Nah," Theodora answered with a laugh. Her whole demeanour seemed less serious now that she wasn't being an official representative of the university. "I mean, I can if you want. I just saw you spacing out and thought you might need some help. That impressed by beautiful things?"
"Yeah. I mean... uhh..." Tegan was suddenly embarrassed, and she didn't really know why. The half-jokes in their conversation had already touched on stalking and beauty. A bystander might think they were flirting or something, and that would just be weird when they'd barely met a week ago. "Just so we're on the same page, yeah, I turned round to see you properly and said I like beautiful things. But I was just talking about the art. That wasn't some kind of stealth compliment or something. I mean... Sorry, I mean, I'm not saying you're not beautiful, but you're not my type or anything, and that wasn't where my mind was at. And I'm just digging myself deeper, aren't I?"
"Natural human response," Theodora chuckled. "You get nervous and get less careful with your choice of words. I know what you mean, though. And don't worry, if you catch me flirting it's all in jest. I mean, I'm– There's a nonzero probability that I'm straight."
"Not zero? That doesn't sound like much." Tegan didn't have a clue what she was saying now, except that she was probably about to put her foot in it again.
"I was going to say I'm straight. But in the last two weeks my certainty has deserted me. Anyway, I was going to ask if you needed help finding somewhere. Or we could get a coffee if you want, I could introduce you to some of the fun first years I've met. It must be pretty hard starting a couple of weeks after most of your peers."
"Yeah, I... Oh hell, I need to get to a registration meeting before half past. Where's the Hux Building?"
"Uhh..." Theodora hesitated, but quickly showed that asking a third year student to help had been the right call. "Hux Tower. Take those stairs down, left onto the main cycleway, straight over the bridge, and if you cut through Bentdick's Café you'll see it opposite. I'll be in the café if you want to chat after."
"Yeah, I..." Tegan stammered, completely taken aback, before the urgency of her meeting jolted her back to reality. She didn't know why she was so confused now, but she was sure she could deal with it later. She jogged down the stairs from the platform, trying to keep her mind focused on the need to present a good impression to the university staff. That was the only thing that mattered right now, wasn't it?