Friday 28th June
"Oh god I hate people sometimes."
I threw myself down onto the couch in the staff break room with the biggest groan I think I'd ever let out. My limbs were sore. My feet were aching. And I didn't think I'd ever been so hot in my life and this fucking professional work uniform wasn't helping.
The only other person in the room ,my colleague Inaya, laughed at my tiredness whilst harbouring a nice glass of orange juice in her hands. The cubes of ice in it were literally taunting me. Maybe I was just hallucinating because of the heat but I could swear they were smirking at me as well. Fucking assholes.
"What happened this time? Another historian trying to break into the cases?"
"Don't remind me of that Inaya. It'll only worsen my mood."
Throwing my head back, I used my hand to waft my face which I was certain was about as red as the fucking couch I was sitting on. Damn where was this AC that I was promised when I started working here a 2 years ago? It didn't even matter anyway. No amount of AC would fucking cool me down; not when I was wearing a complete fucking black outfit with my hair down and no hair tie in sight to put it up. Why hadn't I brought one today? Stupidest mistake ever.
Between laughs, Inaya took another sip of her drink and I hauled myself up to get my own. I needed something to cool me down. "Worse then?"
I nodded as I passed her on my venture to the fridge. "Fucking know-it-alls."
She let out an 'oh' of understanding as I reached in and grabbed the same orange juice she was drinking. We took turns in buying beverages and food for the fridge to share since we both shared working Friday's. When I closed the fridge, she'd placed a cup down next to me and I poured my drink as she just stood there drinking hers.
"Have I ever told you how much I hate those types of people? 'Cuz I hate them so fucking much."
Crouching down to open the freezer, I used the scooper to grab a generous amount of ice and when I heard it clang against the side of my drink, my mouth literally went dry and my first gulp felt like I was being brought back to life. I could literally moan at the coldness as it travelled down my throat.
"Yeah I think you've said a couple times. I'm not sure though." I rolled my eyes at her sarcasm and pulled the drink down and away from my mouth.
"It's true though. Like why come to a fucking museum if you're just going to try correct me on everything I say. If you're going to correct me, at least be right as well. I wouldn't even be mad about it if they were right. But everything this man tried mansplaining to me was wrong." Inaya chuckled, taking another sip of her drink as she watched me get worked up. "It's not even funny. It's so fucking annoying." I turned my body entirely to her. "And get this. Even after I tried to explain to him what was true, he continued to be adamant that he was right. Like take the fucking hint. You are wrong my man. Wrong! Oh my god."
The irritation only grew as I recounted the events but Inaya just laughed. She wasn't a tour guide like me. She stayed behind the front desk and helped people get information or get in. When I first started working here, I envied the simplicity and normalcy of her job but then I'd watch her argue the same way as I did and realised that what she did wasn't so different to what I did. She just wasn't arguing about history but prices and timings. At least I was arguing about something I was passionate about.
"You need a break girl." She placed her cup down on the side and crossed her arms. "The cafe, Hunter and working here are all catching up to you. When was the last time you went out and had some fun? Relaxed and unwinded a little?"
Taking another sip, I tried to remember when the last time I actually did go out and have fun was ,let alone relaxed was, but it must have been ages ago. My life was just too busy for that now.
"I don't have the time for that Inaya."
She scoffed and turned her whole body to me. Her glass was on the side, the ice cubes basically nearly melted now. "You don't have time because you don't allow yourself time. I mean I'm sure it wouldn't kill Tyson to have someone cover you for a day so you can have a break or even go out for the night."
I shrugged and placed my glass down as well. Inaya looked at me waiting for an answer but I just shrugged again.
I knew if I asked for a day off Tyson would let me. For months, I worked my butt off and he wouldn't even question me if I asked. He'd probably encourage me to go out and have some fun. He had been doing so for a while now anyway so he'd celebrate it. But I just didn't know. I wanted, no I knew I needed a break. I was tired as fuck and a day in and then a night out did sound fun. I just wasn't sure. The concept seemed foreign to me because it'd been so long since I had. Did I even remember how to have fun like that anymore? As a 24 year old woman, that sounded pathetic as fuck.
"I can see you thinking Ellie." Inaya's face lit up then. "You know what. How about Sunday we go down to Buckaroo and I'll bring Matthew to drive us home so we can get wasted like old times? It'll be fun."
What she said did sound enticing. I loved Buckaroo and hadn't been for ages, especially not with Inaya. Our times there were definitely memorable. Well the ones I could remember were since we were usually drunk. But nonetheless, nights there were some of the best fun I'd ever had and I loved them.
It wasn't a club type of place. It was a southern-styled bar which had a mechanical bull and karaoke which I'd tried way too many times. Everything you'd expect to find in a bar like that in New York. The owner and usual customers were amazing as well. It was a very welcoming and enjoyable place.
But I wasn't sure. I wanted to but I just wasn't sure.
Inaya took my hand and also took me from my overthinking. When I looked up at her, I just knew no matter what I said she wouldn't listen unless it was a yes. There was no point in arguing when she had that look on her face. I'd tried before and failed every single time so I knew she'd fight me no matter how long it took. Therefore, I just sighed and smiled at her.
"Fine." Her face instantly brightened and she was practically buzzing with her excitement. If she was somewhere else, I was certain she'd be jumping up and down and screaming her head off.
"But not too many drinks okay."
"Yes yes that's fine Ellie. I'm just happy you'll come." Now she actually was jumping up and down with my hand clutched in both of hers. "This is gonna be so much fun. We've not been out in so long. I'm so excited. You don't even know how excited I am. And I get to plan an outfit. Oh my god what am I going to wear?"
As she went on about what she was planning to wear and how excited she was to get wasted, I realised that this was indeed going to be fun and despite my worry, I knew I'd still enjoy my time with her. Maybe this was what I needed. A night of fun with a friend and some alcohol. Perhaps more than some alcohol.
Saturday 29th June
The machine buzzed as the black coffee I was making poured out of it. But I wasn't focused on that. My whole attention was paid to Lilith and Blaise's new argument of the day. New stupid argument of the day.
Well not my whole attention because I was also focused on every car that went past. I was just anticipating Jake's visit. Since Sunday, he'd been in every day and I was sure today wouldn't be an exception. I sure hoped it wasn't anyway. Waking up, seeing him was the first thought on my mind. I'd sometimes guess what he was wearing or what time he'd come in. I hadn't been right once yet but I would be one day.
I was also excited for the conversation we'd have. There was a different one everyday. One day it would be family and the next day it would be something ridiculous like what we'd call pets or what our plans would be if we ever robbed a bank. I loved every single one of them.
Whenever I spoke with him, it was like speaking to someone I'd met before. I felt like I had sometimes as well. Just the way he stood or the way he spoke made me feel like I'd known him for ages or maybe seen him before in my life. But even if I had, I never could place where. It was probably just a feeling anyway. There was no way I'd forget someone like Jake. There wasn't a single forgettable thing about him. Not one.
"You're being ridiculous Blaise. Think about it. Doors are on everything. Everything. Wheels are only on certain things."
"Wheels are on nearly everything as well."
"No they're not. Shut up. There's more doors."
"Oh my god. No there's not Lillie. There's more wheels. Aren't I right Ellie? There's more wheels aren't there?"
I pushed the cap down onto Lilith's coffee and smirked up at the pair as they both stared at me awaiting my answer. "I'm not getting in between your argument."
Blaise rolled his eyes, saddened by my betrayal but Lilith just crossed her arms and smirked. When I placed her cup down next to Blaise's, I figured that I'd attempt to move the conversation away from the wheels and doors argument they'd somehow started talking about. Absolutely no clue how but like I'd said, these two would argue about anything and everything. No matter the strangeness of the topic.
"Oh, I was going to ask you two if you were free tomorrow night."
Fortunately, both Lilith and Blaise turned completely to me and forgot everything about wheels and doors. I swivelled around to get their food just as Blaise leaned against the counter.
"Sadly, I'm not. I have work to see to."
"Work? Since when do you do work Blaise?" My witty remark got an eye roll from Blaise but a joyous laugh from Lilith.
"Ha ha Ellie. I work occasionally and Sunday night just happens to be a time when I am."
"I'm free though." Lilith planted her hands on the counter as if this was a business agreement. "Why? What do you have planned for me?"
Lilith's response made me smile. I'd worried that neither of them would be free because I really had wanted to bring them along for my night out. Not only just to meet Inaya who I was sure they'd both love but also because I knew that any fun I'd have would multiply instantly. Lilith and Blaise were so much fun in the cafe that I didn't doubt that outside of it they'd be any less.
Nonetheless, Lilith's reply gave me that assurance that ,although Blaise wouldn't be able to come, she would and I was happy about that. A solely just girls night out maybe would be more entertaining.
Putting the tongs back down in the case and sliding it closed again, I placed both of their treats next to their drinks and then wiped my hands down my apron. "Well, me and my friend Inaya are going down to this bar called Buckaroo on Horeseton Avenue since she's somehow convinced me to go out for the first time in ages and I thought it would be fun to invite you two. Since Blaise can't make it, it'll be a little girls night out instead if you want to come too Lilith?"
I was half expecting her to say no or maybe remember she had plans but she didn't. She just smiled at me and nodded her head excessively that I was scared it would just snap and fly off. That would be horrific to say the least.
"Oh my god. Of course I'll come Ellie. People don't really invite me to things like bars. The closest I get to that are balls and events with my parents but those aren't that much fun. It's mainly just business talk. Are you sure you want me to come?"
I stared at her like she was insane. Who wouldn't want to invite Lilith out with them? She was practically a beacon of happiness and excitement. Just being with her in this cafe was a highlight of my week. As soon as Inaya had brought up going out, I'd considered asking Lilith and Blaise if they'd like to tag along and although I was upset Blaise couldn't, I was more than happy that Lilith could.
"Of course I do Lillie. Inaya's boyfriend is tagging along as the designated driver so you don't have to worry about driving home or anything and you can get as wasted as you want. And trust me, Matthew is the best of the best when it comes to keeping us safe and plus there's not much trouble down at Buckaroo anyway. I've known the owner for a while and know he wouldn't allow any of that bullshit. The worst you'll come across is a drunkard trying to steal someone else's drink. It'll be fun I promise."
As I spoke, the light on Lilith's face just brightened. Her eyes seemed to grow wider along with her smile and if they grew any more, her eyes would pop out of her head and her lips would split her face. Blaise looked at her, grimaced and then placed a hand on her shoulder. She hadn't said a single thing since I stopped talking and the way she just smiled at me would have been unnerving if I hadn't known her for so long.
"Lillie. Please stop smiling like that. It's scary as fuck okay."
Blaise's hand was shoved off her shoulder and although Lilith's smile did weaken slightly, it was still there, bright and wide.
"Don't ruin my happiness Blaise. Just don't."
"Okayyy. Well I think it's time we leave before she starts bouncing off the walls. Thanks for the drinks and food Ellie."
With his hands on her shoulders and their own respective stuff in their hands, Blaise directed Lilith towards the door and when they finally left with another thank you from Lilith ,not only for the food but also for the invite, I couldn't help but laugh. Damn I loved those two.
My smile was still present when the bell above the door dinged again and when I looked up it only illuminated more.
"Jake. Later than usual today."
With the same amount of confidence and self-preservation as he usually held himself with, Jake strolled to the counter with his hands in his shorts pockets. I was struck by the way his hair was pulled out of his face by a simple hair band. It wasn't doing too good of a job as small strands were still loose. But either way I'd never seen a man look as hot as Jake did in that moment. How much would I need to pay him to always wear one of those things because it was really doing things to me right now? Many things.
"I know. One of the classes I was teaching went on for longer than expected and traffic over here was hectic. What do you have for me today Eloise?"
As I began to prepare his order, it occurred to me that Jake always called me by my full name. There were occasions he didn't but they weren't too often. Instead, he always called me 'Eloise'. Not 'Ellie' like everyone else. Or any sort of different nickname. Just 'Eloise'. He'd once called me sweetheart when we picked up Hunter and I still remember the way my stomach flipped when I heard it. But that was only one time.
I wouldn't deny the fact that I kind of loved the way he called me 'Eloise' because I did love it. No one ever called me that. It was always just 'Ellie'. But not Jake. Jake was different and I loved that. It was special to just him. Whenever he said my name, it was like a whole gust of hot air slapped me in the face and I was quickly consumed by the heat which attached itself to my body. I loved hearing him say it and the feeling it evoked in me.
Just as I put his coffee on, another thing occurred to me and I turned back around to see him staring at me. When I met his gaze, he smiled and I couldn't help but smile back. What I was going to say slipped my mind for a moment but it quickly returned and I pushed away any other distracting thoughts and focused on my main one.
"I know this is a strange question but can you give me Lilith's number by any chance?"
Jake's eyebrows shot up and his smile morphed itself into a smirk. "Wow Eloise. Are you really trying to get with my sister? My triplet sister as well. I don't think I've ever been so heartbroken. I thought we had something special."
His hand went over his heart in mock pain and he shook his head at me in false disappointment. Amused by his response, I just rolled my eyes but also couldn't contain my smile. Whilst Jake looked all big and tough on the outside, speaking to him was like speaking to one of the softest, most entertaining people you'd ever meet. I loved it.
I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned them against the counter as I watched Jake let out a sigh and frown. "Jake, I'm so sorry to have to do this but Lilith, she just has me so utterly in love with her. Plus, I'm tired of waiting for you to ask me out on a date."
My eyes widened just as quickly as Jake's act dropped and he lifted his eyes up to meet mine. Not one single thought went into what I said beforehand. I was so involved in playing along with this act and following his lead that I didn't even consider what I said. But, now that it had actually left my mouth I felt like a fucking idiot.
I couldn't believe I had just said that. I mean I wasn't even sure if that's what I wanted. Me and Jake were friends. We'd only just become friends as well and a part of me thought that he simply just saw this as friendly as well. That we were just friends and I mean we were. We were friends which made me feel even more of an idiot now because I'd fucking humiliated myself like hell.
The other part of me was certain that whatever chemistry and attraction I felt between us he also must have felt. I wasn't stupid to ignore it. Over the course of the past week, where he'd been coming in daily, I don't think I'd ever laughed or smiled or blushed more in my entire life. Simple eye contact could have me going giddy. Surely whatever was in the atmosphere between us I wasn't just making up. Surely he could feel it too.
Either way it didn't help the way I just wanted to shoot myself right now. My face was probably red as ever and it had to do all with my stupidity. Oh my god.
For a moment, there was just silence and we just stared at each other. I had no clue how he felt but I was sure my embarrassment was clear as ever on my face. When he finally went to say something, I was too scared to hear what it was and interrupted him before he could even get a word out.
"I-I don't mean it like that. It's not like I'm just waiting. I wasn't waiting at all actually." I let out an awkward laugh and quickly turned around to continue his drink. Anything to distract myself but I couldn't help the way more words just flew out of my mouth either.
"That was-I was- A joke. Just playing along with the joke you know. Yeah. I'm not-I didn't expect you to ever ask me out. Never. We're friends. Really good friend right Jake?"
I twisted my head back around towards him and smiled. A smile way too dazzling to be true but Jake just looked at me, cleared his throat and nodded. "Yes. Friends. We're friends Eloise. Of course. I didn't think-I know you didn't mean it like that. It's okay. Yeah."
The silence between us kind of drifted into awkwardness as I continued his order and all I could do was curse myself out in my head. Fucking stupid mouth. Fucking idiot. Why would I even say that? What was I thinking? Stupid. So goddamn stupid. Did I never think? Oh my god. I'd never recover from this. What was actually wrong with me? Fucking hell.
"Wait. Why do you need Lilith's number anyway?"
Thankful for the conversation change and the fact that Jake had broken the new foreign awkwardness between us now, I replied way too quickly as I turned to grab his treat.
"I'm going out with another friend from the museum I work at and invited Lillie to come along with us. But I just remembered I never actually told her times or even what to wear or where to meet and I don't have her number so I supposed I'd just get it from you since you are her brother so you'll definitely have it. Right?"
Another one of his eyebrows shot up and my body slightly relaxed when his playful attitude returned. I was just thankful that we were moving away from what I'd say. I knew when I'd try to sleep tonight that it would be on my mind and I'd want to kick myself in the ass more so I was thankful that I didn't need to be thinking about it now as well and be hating myself even more.
"Yes I do have my own sister's number Eloise. Where are you going anyway?"
"Just this bar."
"You invited Lilith to a bar?"
My head shot up when he asked that and I stopped everything I was doing. "Why? Was that a bad thing? I thought she would enjoy it. She sounded like she was excited when I asked her to come."
Quickly, Jake shook his head and just chuckled. "No no. It's not bad. I just don't think Lilith has ever been to a bar. Ever in her life. I never pictured her in one either."
"Yeah she mentioned that when I asked her." I swivelled around to grab the bag to put Jake's treat in and then turned back to him. "I was a little surprised though. My first thought when my friend and I planned it was inviting her. Do you think she'll enjoy it though? I'm worried that she only said she would to appease me. I don't want her to feel obligated to come now that she's agreed if she doesn't want to."
Now that I'd begun to think of it more I was stressing. I'd wanted Lillie to have as much fun as me and Inaya. I didn't want her to feel like she had to come just because I'd asked her and she didn't want to make things weird by denying me. Maybe she wanted to keep our relationship solely in the cafe. Fuck. Now I was really stressing.
But all that disappeared when Jake began to deny all those previous thoughts I'd conjured up. "No. Lilith wouldn't do that. She wouldn't go someplace she didn't absolutely want to go to. That's just not who she is." He shrugged as if that was basic knowledge and I could feel my doubt oozing away as he continued. "And there's no way she wouldn't want to go to this bar with you. She absolutely loves the times she spends with you in the cafe and if you hadn't asked her, it was only a matter of time until she asked you to come out with her some place."
Jake's validation was exactly what I needed to calm myself down and when the nerves had finally settled I quickly got back to getting his treat wrapped with a much lighter feeling in my chest.
"And, after spending time in this cafe, with you, I'm not surprised either."
My hand halted in its motion when those words left his mouth and the atmosphere which I'd mentioned earlier returned. That part of my brain piped up again and began whispering all types of things into my ear. Things that made the prospect that maybe he would consider asking me out on a date more believable.
And when I'd finally given Jake his coffee and treat and he'd finally left after giving me Lilith's number, I just watched him and wondered if maybe, just maybe, the feelings that were beginning to bloom in my chest had also begun to sprout in his as well.