“I hope you don't mind that
I put down in words
How wonderful life is while
you're in the world.”
~Elton john
'Your Song'
~~~~
They are in a mess. Both of them woke up late today. And now they have to clean, then cook. Many things left to be done. And they have school too. For a second Sunghoon thought of not attending but he ignored it cause Heeseung will glare at him again.
At last both of them decided to leave without eating anything while hugging their dear hunger with themselves. The break is after the 4th period so they can eat during the lunch break.
In school
Sunghoon is waiting for the bell to ring. And after a few minutes, finally...the bell rang. He quickly closed his book when all the students looked at him. Only he knows how hungry he is feeling. He ran to the canteen. After taking his meal he sat on a table, right in the middle because everyone whipped for the corner one. He sat alone.
While munching his rice, looks at the surroundings. Looking for Heeseung.
'Why is he not here?'
He asked himself. Because in the morning, Heeseung told him that he will also come to the canteen just right after the bell rings, but he is not here.
Not to mention that one part of his brain is waiting for him to come.
He already ended his plate. He again roamed his eyes to every corner as possible, because popular boys always sit on the corner. But he didn't see him, nor his friends.
He was still trying to find him, but instead of Heeseung, he saw someone else entering the canteen. Sunghoon moved his eyes from Gyuhe and his friends and looked down. Trying to hide as much as he could. And for some reason, he wants Heeseung to be with him. He doesn't know why, not that he will ask this question to himself, but wants Heeseung there.
But he is unlucky. He heard Gyuhe's laugh ended. He can see from the side of his eyes that Gyuhe stopped walking beside his table. And his heart beat increased. His grip on his spoon tightened. And he can feel Gyuhe's gaze on him, when all the students of the cafeteria stopped talking. All of the students are looking at them. Their stares made him feel dizzy. And then he heard the little whispers, students talking about him.
"He and Gyuhe slept that night?"
.
.
"He is such a slut, he doesn't deserve Gyuhe."
.
.
"I heard Sunghoon didn't stay all night, but he sleeps with him."
.
.
"Oh my god, I saw him running..."
.
.
"I saw the hickeys on his neck....he is such a slut."
Sunghoon breathed heavily when he heard them. The silence was so loud that he could hear every single word that the students were saying about him. He exhaled continuously while stopping his emotions. Trying his best to control it and bury it deep down in his heart.
"Look who is here?" One of Gyuhe's friends said, causing everyone to laugh.
"I thought you would be absent after hearing the news that...licked yesterday." Another one said as Sunghoon again heard the students laughing at him.
And at last he got up from his seat and was about to leave, but Gyuhe grabbed his hand, causing him to stop on his track. He slowly looks at Gyuhe.
"He is still my boyfriend, so stop all of you." He said. But his expression was different from it, and the cafeteria was again filled with laughter. And Sunghoon saw Gyuhe laugh too.
"Let me go." He said with his weak voice.
"Why? You are still mine." Coming closer to his ears Gyuhe said. Sunghoon tried to shrug his hands away from his arm, but Gyuhe tightened his grip on his arm more.
"I'm... I'm not yours."
Gyuhe laughed by hearing him. The students come closer to them to listen to their conversation. It was a trauma. Sunghoon breath increased crazily. All the students were looking at him with disgust. Like he is a piece of garbage. On the other hand Gyuhe was making fun of him. Sunghoon just couldn't do anything and just listened, controlling his tears from falling down. Because if he lets his tears fall, then they will laugh again.
He is scared, scared of all. His body started to tremble after hearing them. And they are still talking shit about him. Gyuhe is just there, enjoying his view. And for the last time Sunghoon again tried to free himself from Gyuhe's grip.
"Gyuhe...let me go."
Gyuhe looked at him.
"Why? To whom will you run this time?" He asked and smirked.
"Haha ....poor Sunghoon, now no one will love you, garbage is also not going to look at you." Someone said.
And Sunghoon's heart breaks into many pieces. He doesn't want anyone, he doesn't want anyone to love him, he just wants peace. He just wants to be alone, far from this world.
"Who said that?"
Everyone looks at the entrance.
"Heeseung?"
Sunghoon's exhaled. When he gets to know Heeseung is there, without moving his head, tears start brimming in his eyes. The voice that he feels is someone he knows, the voice that he can feel comfort.
All the students had given Heeseung space because he was walking towards the centre. The students again started to whisper between them. They are questioning Heeseung's words. And soon Heeseung stood there, behind Sunghoon. He pulled Sunghoon from Gyuhe's grip, harshly, but he doesn't care. And Sunghoon's back hit his chest. Heeseung slid his hand from Sunghoon's arm down to his palm. A drop of tears slipped from Sunghoon's eyes.
"Who said no one will love him?" Heeseung asked while looking at the bunch of students. He shouted, not a shout but felt like a threat. The girls flinched by seeing his anger. No one dared to say anything. And then Heeseung's eyes laid on Gyuhe.
"How dare you touch him?" His eyes became red in anger.
"It's my choice whether I touch him or not. It's not your business.......get lost." Stepping forward to Sunghoon and Heeseung, Gyuhe said. And students had to step back.
"From now on, I dare to touch him........ I'll break your hand into many pieces, that no one will dare to join them again."
Heeseung started to shake by his anger. He is still holding Sunghoon. One hand is holding his palm, and the other one is on his waist. Like a side-back hug.
"I already touched him enough...." As Gyuhe smirked. He enjoyed Sunghoon's reaction.
The tears flow down for his cheeks while head hangs low. Too scared to let anyone see it.
Heeseung felt his tears, he rubbed Sunghoon's palm by his thumb. As he greeted his teeth in anger. And then he looked first at Gyuhe, then glanced towards the students.
"From now on, from this fucking moment..... Sunghoon is my boyfriend....he is mine and only mine"
His words brought a new wave of shock and whisper. And Gyuhe looked at him in anger.
"What the fuck you are saying? He is my boyfriend." Gyuhe shouted. And Sunghoon made a soft sob as his body was lightly flinched.
"Fuck...fuck Gyuhe, who is your boyfriend? Him? Really? Haha....." Heeseung laughed, he cursed because he is slowly losing his control. For some reason he finds Gyuhe stupid.
"Hey....all of you, do you know where I live?" Out of nowhere Heeseung asked the girls and the boys who were surrounding them.
"In the apartment , near the mall.."
Heeseung laughed again.
"Have you seen me there?"
His question made everyone confused. They all tried to ask each other if anyone saw him there.
"Because I don't even live there.." he said. And this time he looked at Gyuhe. Who was jolting with anger.
"I live with Sunghoon."
Heeseung stopped for a moment and smirked while looking at Gyuhe's reaction. Gyuhe looked at him, in shock a little and his eyes widened too.
Heeseung grabbed Sunghoon's waist to make him look into his eyes. Heeseung placed his hand on his chin, and Sunghoon lit up his head to look at Heeseung. Heeseung's eyes totally changed to the softer one. And he held Sunghoon's hand, before pulling him towards the exit with him. And the students were looking at them in awe. What just happened?
Heeseung pulled Sunghoon to the washroom, as he locked the door. Sunghoon's head was still low.
"Sunghoon" Heeseung whispered his name. And then Sunghoon's tears rolled down from his eyes. And Sunghoon sobbed silently. For a moment Heeseung looked at him. Concerned all over his face. And soon he finds himself pulling the younger closer to his chest, hugging him tightly.
"It's okay...." Heeseung rubbed his hand on Sunghoon's hair up and down.
"Sunghoon....." He called him again. But no response, as Sunghoon rested his head on the side of his shoulder.
Heeseung didn't say anything when he felt Sunghoon's sob stopped. He let him rest his head on his shoulder. Giving the time to the younger. After few minutes, Sunghoon looked at Heeseung. Heeseung looked at him too. Too close, too close to look at his whole face.
"I'm hungry..."
Heeseung furrowed his brows. What did he just heard?
"Ha?" He asked. Confused but still concerned at the same time.
"I said I'm feeling hungry....hungry." Sunghoon said, pouted because he had to repeat again. And this time Heeseung's shock changed into a wonder. His ears are not gone right? He is not a deef though. So what Sunghoon said was true?...not his imagination? ..........He smiled.............Felt relieved. A small, sigh came out from his mouth. Placing his palm on Sunghoon's head while taking away the few strands that were hiding his eyes, he chuckled.
"Okay, let's go. You don't have to attend all the classes today."
.
.
.
.
Both of them are in a restaurant, waiting for their order to arrive. The restaurant is not big, it is small, and cozy. And Sunghoon love this type of place, where you can't find many people around. Both of them are sitting against each other. The table is between them. And soon their order arrived.
After a while of eating, Sunghoon looked at Heeseung. Who is eating like his life depends on this. He forgot everything, of course because he was hungry. Last they ate at night.
And when Heeseung felt Sunghoon's gaze on him, he lift up his head to look at Sunghoon.
"You said you are hungry.." Heeseung asked him.
"I am, but I already ate..." Heeseung just hummed.
"Let's go home, I'm already done." When Heeseung felt Sunghoon was not hungry anymore, he said.
And Sunghoon agreed.
.
.
.
.
.
"Are you hurt somewhere?" Heeseung asked while sitting on Sunghoon's bed.
"No"
Heeseung looked at him for a moment. Then looked away. Same with Sunghoon.
"Le.. let's start with determinants." Heeseung said trying to change the subject.
"No..." Sunghoon looked at him.
"Why?"
"Let's start with the metric first."
Heeseung signed, signalling Sunghoon that he already knows.
"Okay."
After eating on the resturant they both headed to the home. Heeseung was a little bit shocked why Sunghoon acted fine, but as Sunghoon is doing fine, he also didn't care about it. But he really thought Sunghoon would cry and would try to avoid him.
Sunghoon asked himself to Heeseung to teach him maths. And that's why now Heeseung is in his room. Sitting on the bed while Sunghoon is sitting on his chair.
"I was waiting for you."
"Hmm?" Heeseung tilted his head to look at Sunghoon. Sunghoon also placed the pen on table and looked at Heeseung.
"I was waiting for you, in the cafeteria......" He stopped. Eyes locked with Heeseung's. Heeseung frown.
"But you didn't show up." He said and looked away. Heeseung swallowed. His mind filled with many thoughts.
"Why? You shouldn't wait for me." As Heeseung laughed trying to light up the temperature. But Sunghoon is not that easy to flow.
"I don't know why, but....when Gyuhe, when he showed up....I was only thinking about you, being there."
He said, the last words came out from his mouth so softly that it's hard to hear. But Heeseung heard. And for some reasons, his heart beat increased. He felt hot. He saw Sunghoon's head low, trying to let Heeseung know that he needed him, at the same time scared, scared and nervous to tell. Sacred what Heeseung's response will be.
"I need someone......to express my pain, to show my weakness, to tell my secrets with."
Heeseung bent his head a little to look at Sunghoon's eyes. Because even if someone can lie, the eyes never lie. It was hard to look into his eyes. But Heeseung felt Sunghoon was serious, he was saying what he wanted to.
Taking a long breath, Heeseung's hand made it's way to Sunghoon's face. Cupping his face by one hand, made Sunghoon look at him. And saw the pair of glittery eyes, shining under the light. The dark eyes look at him too.
"I'm here, I'm with you.....you don't need others, you don't need anyone, cause I'm here, to listen to you..."...
....(stop for a second)..."And I'm sorry I couldn't come in time in the cafeteria, but I swear I'll make them pay...they have to pay."
His soft voice made those words more touchable. Like how Sunghoon's heart rested by hearing him. It was heard like a melody. And same with Heeseung, Sunghoon's every word, his dazzling eyes, his gaze on him......all felt like a melody, a melody played by a broken string. And the string, that Heeseung wants to join, wants to coloured it with red, purple, pink, yellow...every colour if it's possible. The stare that they are sharing is not awkward anymore, it felt more like watching the sky, the galaxy. Sunghoon's few words brought an another tension between them. How easy the words to say, but for Heeseung, it felt like something else, just for a moment.
"Let's date..."
Sunghoon looked at Heeseung, a little shocked but confused too.
"Means, let's date just for a show. It will be fake. So that no one dares to point a single finger at you." Heeseung corrected himself. Sunghoon swallowed his saliva.
"You, you told them I'm your boyfriend." Sunghoon said, a little smile left on his lips to tease Heeseung. Heeseung smiled too.
"Yeah, that's why I'm saying. I already told them that...." He said and leaned on the wall while laughing.
"But I don't want to use you." Sunghoon said. Again in his serious tone.
"It's not 'use'. Okay, I want to get rid of those crazy girls."
"But they loves you "
"Whatever. But I want some privacy in my life too." Heeseung said. A little annoyed. And Sunghoon looked at him, mesmerized by Heeseung's personality.
Heeseung felt the younger is silent, so he eyed him again, just to catch him staring at him already.
"If you are not comfortable with it, then-"
"No, itijust for a show right? So I'll do that."
Heeseung looked at the wall clock which was hanging in Sunghoon's room. It's 11pm. They don't even realise that they talked for one hour.
"I'm going to sleep. Good night."
Sunghoon looked at him.
"Umm.."
It was so sudden. Because all Heeseung wanted some fresh air, means a place where Sunghoon is not around, where he will not be able to feel Sunghoon's breathing anymore. All the time he was just looking at him, like Sunghoon is a treasure, from what Heeseung can't even move his gaze. Heeseung walked to his room. With a heavy heart. He doesn't know what it is, but something felt different, different that he never experienced before.
And after a few minutes he laughed thinking about Sunghoon. The way Sunghoon pouted when he said he was hungry, the way he repeated the word, the way Sunghoon's eyes were shining, the way the few strands of his hair always lay in front of his eyes...... it's adorable, and he is so pretty. Wait pretty? Not at all.....but yeah pretty, a little bit.
On the other hand Sunghoon laid on his bed. The darkness allowed him to think about the day. But he didn't think of the cafeteria incident, not those students talk, not Gyuhe...his head only field with Heeseung, when he entered the cafeteria, and the way Heeseung looked at him. His eyes are so soft, which Sunghoon never imagined that he could be the one to catch it, catch the softness of Lee Heeseung. He felt a little proud, proud that his homie is strong.
____________
After a long time, Sunghoon and Heeseung are walking together. And when they entered the school, Heeseung hold Sunghoon's hand. Making Sunghoon look at him in confusion. But he couldn't ask anything when he saw all the students staring at them. And Sunghoon tightened the hold of their hands. But he felt a little embarrassment, and Heeseung's hand is so hot that he felt it was trying to melt him.
Soon Sunghoon arrived at his class. The students were still looking at them like they were just seeing an alien.
"I'll catch up with you during the break." Heeseung said.
"Okay"
"By"
"Hm"
Heeseung didn't satisfied with it. So he came closer, closer to Sunghoon when his eyes widened a little by his sudden action. As Heeseung pressed his lips on the younger's forehead.
"Wha-"
He didn't let Sunghoon say anything as he walked away. Sunghoon's cheeks are covered with a red mark like an apple. He blushed hard. Ignoring those stares as he sits in his seat. And Heeseung did it because of his fangirls that were eyeing them.
_____________
Sunghoon was sitting on his seat as Heeseung told him not to go anywhere during the break. The students were still gossiping about him and Heeseung. And then Heeseung entered, making all of them stop.
"Let's go." Heeseung said. Before walking along with him, Sunghoon saw Heeseung's friends were also coming with them, like Armies. Walking through the corridor they went into their basketball court. Sunghoon just followed him.
"Let's eat something first." Heeseung said while looking at him.
"I'm not hungry."
Heeseung wanted to laugh at that moment because of the flashback of yesterday, but stopped it in himself.
Meanwhile Seon and the others are looking at them, making some embarrassing sounds while laughing, teasing Heeseung.
"Shut up all of you." Heeseung said while looking at them.
"Ahem...at last our captain succeeded." One of them said in teasing tone.
"I already know that something was going between them. I saw them multiple times sharing glances at each other."
Damn, Heeseung wanted to just punch him in his face to stop him from talking farther. As Sunghoon just looked at them with wide eyes.
"Get out." Heeseung ordered them.
"Aww.... let's leave, they need privacy."
Damn this Seon is really something. But they did leave them alone there.
"Did someone bother you again?" Heeseung said suddenly.
"Hm?...oh, no." Sunghoon replied.
Silence................
It was awkward.....
"Why...we are here?" Sunghoon asked him out of nowhere.
"I don't know. Just thought you like being alone so..."
"Oh"
"Sunghoon......"
"Hm?"
"I kissed you on your forehead... because of the girls... earlier!" Heeseung said, defending himself. As Sunghoon's face again heated up by the flashback. He looked down. And somehow Heeseung noticed the blush on his cheeks. And this meant a lot.
'So he didn't feel uncomfortable.'
Heeseung cleaned his throat and looked at Sunghoon again,
"And yeah, a couple should kiss in public, so that..no one gets the courage to come between them."
Of course Heeseung said a fact about couples, not that he is only referring to Sunghoon and Heeseung said it because they are currently in a fake relationship. But Sunghoon bite his lips, trying to stop his blush that was following him from the morning.
'why the fuck am I blushing?'