Vanity was out with her mum outside a coffee shop which would be closing soon as it was getting late.
Her mother took a sip of her second hot coffee before placing it down on the table. Vanity sat slouched in her chair, her hands placed loosely in her lap.
"You know this reminds me of when our David took me to a place like this, when I got clean and he wanted to talk things out with me, you'd left by then." Her mother said, looking around the outside of the shop.
"I wish you'd talk to me Van" she tutted in response to Vanity's ignorance. Vanity huffed "Alright you want to talk? Right then we'll talk. The minuet you tell me why you abandoned me and your three kids for weeks, months and years with the occasional visit to drain us of all we worked for, then we'll talk." She spat angrily.
Her mother gave her a look that showed that the sentence stung. "Actually David forgave me for that" she said with a sort of smug look on his face.
Vanity gritted her teeth, feeling betrayal creep up on her. How could he forgive her?
"Did he now?" Vanity asked bitterly "yeah. Ever since he had his little one-"
"What?" Vanity interrupted, her mother nodded "yeah. He got married to a girl called Lorraine. Very pretty she is, he had a little baby boy." She said.
Vanity felt angry now. How could she have been so oblivious. A baby.
David moved on with his life. He had moved on and had a child. The world didn't stop turning when Vanity left, she wondered if they even bothered to want her back.
She ran away to escape, but now only just realised that David had grown, Harry had grown and so had Tommy.
"Here" her mother reached into her purse "this was us last Christmas." She said pulling out a square photo of the reunited family. Pauline was sat in a big chair. David was stood next to her with his wife, who was holding a little baby, dressed in a blue baby grow, which sounded totally ridiculous in Vanity's mind.
Harry had his arms folded with a short grin on his face, on the other side of them. Wearing a red football jumper with a Manchester United logo on it.
Then Tommy, my had he grown, Vanity hardly recognised him for the 17 year old she saw before she ran away. He had no acne anymore. His hair was cut shorter and he wore a red checkered shirt with a leather jacket and blue jeans.
Tears burned in her eyes. Jealousy over took her, she hated to admit that she wanted desperately to have what they had, they all looked so happy and Vanity was not.
She slammed the photo down on the table. "Fuck you!" She shouted at her mother. "You think you can just come here and try to guilt me into coming back to you? Well you can get fucked cause I'm not coming back!" Her mother grabbed Vanitys wrist, stopping her from walking away.
"Darling, if you don't wanna talk to me then at least call. Keep in touch" her mother said and shoved a piece of paper into her hands.
Vanity didn't look twice at her mother before she left instead she went straight back to the hotel.
By the time she got home the sky was almost pitch black.
Vanity stormed into the hotel room, her footsteps heavy with frustration and anger. Sid looked up from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, concern etched across his features, not expecting Vanity home, he had been pondering his decisions. "Vanity, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice tinged with worry.
"What's wrong?" Vanity spat, her voice laced with bitterness. "What's wrong is that my mother showed up out of nowhere, thanks to that snake Malcolm, and now I can't get her out of my head. I can't do this anymore, Sid. I just want it to end."
Sid's expression softened as he stood up, moving closer to Vanity. "I know it's been hard, baby," he said gently, reaching out to touch her arm. "But listen yeah i-i thought we were gonna wait."
Vanity pulled away, her eyes blazing with frustration. "I can't wait anymore, Sid. I'm tired of waiting for things to get better. I want it to end tonight."
Sid's brows furrowed in confusion. "Tonight?" he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper. "But we said we'd wait until we were both ready."
"I don't care anymore, Sid!" Vanity snapped, her voice rising with desperation. "I can't keep living like this, pretending that everything's going to be okay when it's not. I need it to end."
Sid's gaze softened as he looked at Vanity, his heart aching with the pain he saw in her eyes. "I understand, baby, alright i do" he said softly. "But I can't do it tonight. I-I don't want to die anymore." He stuttered out, now he felt guilty for saying this. She didn't deserve this.
Vanity's eyes widened in shock, her anger momentarily replaced by disbelief. "What do you mean you don't want to anymore?" she asked, her voice trembling with emotion, she couldn't deal with this and now it became apparent that Sid was having second thoughts.
"I wanna get clean." Sid replied, his voice steady despite the guilt raging inside him. "I wanna get clean, Vanity. I want to start over, build a life for us where we don't have to rely on drugs to numb the pain."
Vanity felt a surge of conflicting emotions wash over her. Part of her wanted to believe Sid, to believe that they could overcome their demons together. But another part of her felt terrified at the thought of facing life without the crutch of the drugs to lean on.
"I don't know if I can do it, Sid," she whispered, her voice barely audible above the roar of her own doubts and fears.
Sid's head fell in defeat. He shook his head and walked to sit on the edge of the bed where he lit a cigarette.
"What if I want to go? Would you let me?" He asked. Vanity blinked, not able to see clearly because the tears which had filled her eyes to the brim.
"Don't do that to me Sid. You said you would!" She shouted "I'm just not going to okay!" He shouted back at her. He tired to fight the guilt, feeling selfish for what he wanted to do.
"You have to you promised!" She screamed, her voice was scratchy and strained "yeah well I changed my mind!" He lit another cigarette. His hands trembled as he fumbled with the lighter.
"You can't! You can't change your mind we said we'd go out together you can't change your mind!" She cried. "Yeah well i just did, I did!"
"No!" She cried like a toddler who didn't get a toy they wanted.
"Yeah im getting out of this place, I'm gonna get clean I wanna be with MY friends and people who care!" He exclaimed, his shouts getting louder and louder each time. but he didn't look at her he couldn't.
"Okay! Okay! Go on! Just leave me!" She pointed to the door. Sniffling pathetically. "You're always putting fucking words in my mouth! Did I say I-" Vanity interrupted him by shouting but he just yelled over her even louder "DID I SAY I WAS GONNA FUCKING LEAVE YOU? NO I FUCKING DIDN'T!" He smacked the bed as he spoke.
"I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND SID!" Vanity cried "SO YOU KEEP FUCKING TELLING ME!" He replied, Vanity crawled onto the bed, wrapping her arms around his torso "You'll never get straight. You'll never get straight Sid you say that every fucking day it's the same thing! I can't wake up tomorrow to the same thing. I can't live like this anymore!" She hit his back "Please help me Sid!"
As she clung onto his back Sid got up, shoving her off of him. "Fucking hell! You're so fucking blind!" He went and got his leather jacket. "I'm not blind! Sid where are you going!" She followed him to the door, blocking it "down the off licence" he said like he was trying to remain calm. He just wanted to leave
Vanity stopped him, if he left she wasn't sure she'd ever see him again. "No Sid it's one o'clock in the morning there's nothing out there!" She screamed, Sid grabbed both of her shoulders and shoved her away.
"Get out of my fucking way!" Vanity fell behind him however she got up just as quick. Grabbing onto Sid's back she pulled him away by his jacket.
"Fuck you Sid you're so fucking weak and stupid, why don't you help me!" She shouted and began to punch Sid in the back "Fucking hell!" He shouted as they both fell on the floor.
As they tumbled to the floor, Vanity's punches landing weakly on Sid's back, he grunted in pain but also frustration. He grabbed her wrists, trying to restrain her. "Stop it, Vanity!" he growled, his voice tinged with anger and desperation.
But Vanity was beyond reason. She continued to struggle against him, her tears mixing with the sweat on her face as she fought against the inevitable. "You promised me, Sid!" she cried, her voice raw with emotion. "You promised we'd do this together!"
Sid's grip tightened on her wrists, his own emotions boiling over as he tried to hold back the torrent of anger and guilt inside him. "YOU WANNA FUCKING DIE!" He shouted Vanity screamed "YES!"
"THEN FUCKING DIE!" He pushed her fully into the wall, hitting her head against it she fell down to the floor.
"Ahh" she mumbled trying to get up, she just collapsed however and closed her eyes. Crying.
Sid's anger melted away as he saw her on the floor. He let himself fall next to her. Brushing the hair out of her face. "I'm sorry." he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "I'm so sorry."
They lay there together on the floor of the hotel room, their bodies entwined in a tangle of limbs and emotions. In that moment, they were two broken souls clinging to each other for dear life, hoping against hope that they could find a way to heal the wounds that threatened to tear them apart.
Hopefully a simple sorry would fix this
Ocaso_19 dedicated to you