βœ“β”‚π˜ 𝘊𝘒𝘯 𝘚𝘦𝘦 𝘠𝘰𝘢 (Be...

By n__ikkii

3K 259 193

˗ˏˋ πŸŽ₯ 'ΛŽΛ— 𝐈𝐍 π–π‡πˆπ‚π‡ ─── You finally make your way to the top, getting invitations to large award sho... More

Introductions
Important
01. Golden Globes
02. Hangover
03. Movie night
04. Cigarette
05. Gentleman
06. Messy
07. Canada
08. Unknown Number
09. Phoebe Bridgers
10. Stairwell
11. Message
12. Vinyls
14. Honesty
15. In love
Epilogue

13. Commit

103 14 17
By n__ikkii


"𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥"


"I forgot to tell you something." You remembered as you repositioned yourself on your bed, now leaning on your back as your phone was carefully placed next to your ear. Both of your hands supported your head while you looked up at the ceiling, a soft smile on your face as you recalled the amazing news you had forgotten to share with Bella.

The two of you had been on the phone for at least two hours now, the conversation never running dry as you continuously found a new subject to ramble about over and over again. "Oh yeah?" A soft chuckle could be heard from the other side of the line, causing your grin to grow even wider.

You found your cheeks heating up, which felt stupid as they weren't even able to see you right now. "I got this part in a film." You said nonchalantly, pretending as if you didn't spend at least ten minutes jumping and dancing around your room, call Emily with tears in your eyes, and spend over an hour telling her how excited you were about it.

A soft chuckle could be heard from the other side of the phone, causing your cheeks to grow even hotter as you continued staring up at the ceiling. "I'm proud of you." Their soft voice told you, leaving you with butterflies traveling all throughout your stomach.

Even though you wanted to resist it, you couldn't help but let out a soft form of laughter as you audibly heard them appreciate you. "I start filming in like a week, it's all so soon." You shook your head with a smile on your face, still not having fully processed the news.

This caused a short period of silence to form, which made you frown. You had no idea as to why the conversation had suddenly gone quiet. "Bella?" You called out, hoping they would wake up from whatever daydream they were stuck in, but that didn't happen.

Instead of yet another positive reply, the brunette turned serious out of nowhere. "What are we?" A genuine, but hard question came from the other side of the phone, causing the soft smile that still remained on your face to fade, the nerves beginning to build up as you thought of an appropriate response to a question this big.

"What are we to you?" You asked back, knowing it was not what they wanted to hear. To put a lable on what Bella and you had been doing for the past weeks. When the other line remained quiet, you spoke up again. "Because we're not just a fling." You let out, a soft sigh escaping your mouth as you dreaded whatever was about to come.

To your surprise, silence was not all that awaited you when you said this. "I know." Bella half-whispered, no detectable emotion in their tone. "I've done flings and situationships, and this is not that." The sigh was longer and louder now, but you doubted it was audible for them as you closed your eyes, your hands still supporting your head as you laid on your bed.

"It's more." They gave in, their tone now filled with emotion as you were almost sure you heard them sigh just like the way you had done seconds ago. "It is." You said, pressing your lips together as you opened your eyes again. The two of you weren't fully out of the woods yet, but it was scary to initiate things like this.

You didn't dare to speak up again as you waited for them to talk. In your opinion, you had said enough, and were now waiting for them to confirm what you were thinking. In the short amount of time this conversation had been happening, your heartbeat managed to double in speed. You swore that even Bella, on the other side of the city, was able to hear your heart beating the way it was.

Another sigh could be heard from the other side of the phone as Bella prepared themself to speak up once again. "I just don't want to tie you to something that probably won't last." They explained, leaving you with an even bigger frown on your face than ever before. This wasn't what you were expecting to hear in the slightest, and you found yourself fighting back the tears that were already building up.

"What? What do you mean 'won't last'?" You shrugged, almost offended by their harsh statement, as you couldn't help but take it very personal. "Canada." Is all they said, leaving you with an open mouth as your mind tried to come up with words, but couldn't find any that were appropriate enough.

The silence you created was broken quickly as Bella let out another sigh. Your name fell from their mouth in a way it never had before, grasping your attention as you felt like you were sinking in your bed. "I don't want whatever this is to end." The brunette admitted, seemingly wanting to say something else. 

"I-" They started, but weren't able to finish their sentence as their thoughts overtook them, leaving you in silence once again. "So what? You quit?" You shook your head, an almost angry expression on your face as you couldn't comprehend what you were hearing. 

The fact that they were willing to give up what the two of you had so easily made you regret everything that had happened up to this point. "That's not what I'm saying! I just don't want you to have to deal with any of that. I don't want to hurt you." They quickly defended themself, but you continued shaking your head, your eyebrows furrowing once more.

"Bullshit." This time, a soft sigh could be heard as you tried to remain strong. The last thing you wanted was for them to know how much the past few weeks had meant to you. Without wanting to hear any more of their whining, you hung up the phone.

Your room felt strangely empty filled with the silence you had just created. There was no way you were going to let Bella affect you on this level, absolutely no way. You quickly got on your feet and continued your day as you figured you had more to do than lay around with a strong melancholic feeling in your chest.


━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━


The next few days kept you both busy and distracted, since you still had a lot to do in preperation for the movie you were shooting. This involved a lot of hanging out with Emily, who you wouldn't be seeing for a while when you started filming.

A huge part of you were glad to have the distraction, because you didn't even need to face Bella this way, which gave you a lot of strongly needed peace in your head that you hadn't felt in a long time. "So, pink or purple?" Emily asked, catching you by surprise as your spiraling thoughts had taken over your mind once again.

"Uh, purple." You absentmindedly picked, not wanting them to notice how off you had been these past couple of days. This plan terribly failed, because instead of painting your nails, she tilted her head at you, not a word coming from their mouth as Emily waited for you to talk.

This caused you to frown, and you immediately found the screaming urge to confess it all to your best friend, which was probably a good plan right about now, after everything that had happened between the two of you recently. "What?" You teased, pretending to be confused even though you knew you were about to tell them absolutely everything.

In response, Emily let out a sigh, not willing to play along in order to gain the new information about Bella and you. This caused you to be the next one to speak up, the comforting music you had put on still playing in the background, barely audible. "We had a fight." You held up your shoulders, not knowing what to do about it.

Emily gently got a hold of your hand, carefully beginning to apply the violet nail polish. They were clearly waiting for you to open up, which you were planning on doing right away. "Bella asked me what we were, and it all led to a fight about Canada. They said they didn't want to tie me to something that won't last." You shrugged while shaking your head, your mind wandering back to that exact moment.

You patiently waited for your best friend to come with her much needed advise as she continued to apply the polish. "So they think the two of you won't last? That's pretty harsh, are you sure they said that?" Emily asked you, their eyes focused on your hand while they spoke.

This gave you an odd feeling, because she had never doubted you this way before, and you were most certainly not used to her not immediately sticking up for you. That's what best friends do right? They take one another's side, no matter the story. Of course you figured it would be a little different this time, as Bella was also Emily's friend, but not a single part of you had expected this.

"Yeah, but they followed it up by saying they didn't want me to have to deal with that. They said they didn't want to hurt me. I thought that was absolute bullshit, so I hung up." You shook your head, the expression on your face filled with agitation while you thought back to the way you had refused to hear them out.

Your eyes were now fixated on the very large window in your apartment, the two people walking across the street hand in hand making you want to vomit. Right when Emily was about to speak up, a buzz came from your pocket.  "Other hand, please." She asked without paying attention to the soft noise that came from your phone.

"One second." You looked at them apologetically, causing her to roll tilt her head in disaproval as you grabbed your phone. The brunette impatiently waited for you to check the notification as they softly tapped the table with the tiny bottle of nail polish.


bella<3

can we talk? id really like to grab some coffee with you somewhere in the next few days


You let out a sigh as you stared at the text. "Bella?" Emily asked you, suddenly showing a bit of interest as you nodded at them. You bit the inside of your cheek while you thought of what to send back. The online signal underneath their name making you nervous.


i'm busy filming, can't


The slightest feeling of guilt entered your gut as you closed your phone again, Emily gladly taking your hand in theirs to continue what they were doing. "What did it say?" The brunette asked while once again focused on the nail polish they were applying.

"Bella wanted to talk, but I said I was busy. I just need some time." You admitted, not feeling like lying to Emily any longer as you expressed nothing but the truth. A small sigh escaped your mouth as your mind couldn't help but picture Bella's face as they opened your text. You shook your head, wanting to shake the feeling off.

Emily was preparing to give you their honest advise as the expression on their face told you she was fully thinking it through. "Well, I get that you're upset, but I feel like you have a choice." They told you, causing you to frown again.

"Commit or walk away. You have to decide what you want to do." Emily explained, leaving you with an uneasy feeling in your gut. It couldn't be that simple of a choice. And even if it was a simple one, it surely wasn't an easy one to make. 

Was long distance even something you were up for? "But I don't know." You sighed, shaking your head as you felt yourself beginning to stress out about it all. "Then you have to find out. Take your time to think about it, but be careful, okay? Bella is a person too." She told you, making you feel a bit better about the entire thing.

You solely nodded at them, remaining in silence as they finished doing your nails. When they were done, they took a photo to post on their public story. "Do you think I'll be able to open a salon after this?" They joked, shaking their head with a grin on their face.

This made you feel a lot less uncomfortable as you reciprocated the smile. "I bet the requests will come rolling in after this." You teased, a wide grin on your face as you admired your freshly painted nails.  


☆☆☆


𝘿𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙫𝙤𝙩𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩!

𝙄𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙢𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥𝙨 𝙨𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮!


AN: AHHH the release of ttpd has managed to make life a lot less shitty I'M SO EXCITED ABT IT. As soon as I can differentiate every song from the others, I'll pick a song from that album for my next story:)

Quick question: do you guys like it when I post a chapter once/twice a week, or would you rather wait a little longer to get the whole story at once?

Today marks an entire month since I started publishing this story?!?! Never would I ever have guessed to have so many people tuning in every Wednesday and Saturday, I'm so grateful for you guys<3

Wordcount: 2242

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