Lost.
If someone were to ask Yunho how he felt right now, lost would be his answer.
Because he could not get the image of Mingi walking away from him at the playground out of his head. He had tried, and tried, and tried, but he couldn't.
He had felt a pang of sadness wash over him right then and there, and he didn't know what that was, he couldn't place it.
Yunho liked Seonghwa, but it hurt so much rejecting Mingi, and now he was just left confused. It did not help him at all when just the day before Yeosang had came home completely red and with an incredibly wide smile on his face while he told him what had happened with Jongho.
His bestfriend was now in a relationship with the guy he had been liking since basically forever (even if he had been in denial most of the time) and Yunho couldn't even understand his own feelings.
His head hurt from how much he had been thinking about it all. He didn't even tell Seonghwa.
And he didn't even felt the need to text the older. As much as he had been convinced of his feelings for him he wasn't even feeling the need to text him right now. But Mingi...
He was afraid of losing Mingi. His finger twitched everytime he took him phone in his hands, itching to just click on that specific chat and send a text that would probably be left unanswered after the rejection. But why.
Why wasn't he feeling the usual want to text Seonghwa?
He looked at his phone, it was 07:43pm.
Yunho sighed, standing up from the comfort of his couch to straighten his back, a satisfying crack sound filling the empty room. He needed to leave if he didn't want to drown in his self despair any longer, and he sure as hell didn't want that.
The first thought that came to hid mind was to go to the bar, get drunk, and forget about anything, but he discarded that option. He had never really been one to drink to forget, and he wasn't about to become one, so instead, he opted to go to a cafe, hopefully there were still some open despite the hour.
It took him quite a while to find one that wasn't closed, but after about twenty minutes of walkng he finally found one. Walking hadn't bothered him, he could use the fresh air anyway.
Upon entering he immediately recognized the place, he had alrady been there. His mind wandered back to his and Seonghwa first encounter. He expected his stomach to completely fill with butterflies, he really did expect it, but it never happened. Instead, in his mind, a clear image of a smiling Mingi popped up.
Yunho shook his head. He had gone outside to ease his mind, not to let his thought be invaded by someone.
He took a seat on one of the small tables near the entrance. No one was currently inside apart from the single workedìr behind the counter so he theorically could sit wherever he wanted, but it still felt wrong to occupate one of the bigger tables. That, and he didn't want to feel lonlier thaat he already did.
Immediately, the worker came to his table to take his order. He settled on a cappuccino.
While he was waiting, looking outside the window on his left, the door opened and the bell settled above it filled the room with its cheerful sound. So someone else liked to go out at this hour for a beverage that wasn't something alcoholic.
Drawn by his curiosity for the other person that, instead of deciding to stay in the comfort of their own house, had decided to go out, but to his surprise, it was someone he knew quite well, and at the same time, someone that reminded him of a person he really didn't want to think about now.
Hongjoong's red hair were slightly dishelved, as if he had run his fingers through them multiple times. Yunho could see the confusion and tiredness behind his eyes just before their eyes met and the older's expression drastically changed, a smile replacing the previous scoul.
He waved at the older, that after going to the counter and ordering, brought back his gaze on Yunho and walked over to him.
"Hey Yunho."
"Hey Joong." Yunho smiled.
Hongjoong reminded him of Mingi, and he really didn't want to think about him now, but he couldn't deny that the older was always good company, and he probably wouldn't mention Mingi. Not to mention that Yunho coud really use some company right now.
Hongjoong sat down in front of him, a few minutes later the worker behind the counter came to deliver their drinks.
At first neither of the two spoke up. The silence was comfortable, but the more it lasted, the more Yunho felt the need to say something. He also had some questions swirling in his mind. For example, why Hongjoong was out at this time of the day, or way when he entered the cafe he looked so confused.
So he decided to voice out his thoughts.
"Hey Joong, what were you doing out at this hour? You don't live nearby if I remember correctly."
Yunho expected a simple answer, like "I needed some fresh air" or "I just wanted a coffee and every cafe around my apartment was closed" and the reply he got could be considered simple in a way, but the slight pink dusting the other's cheeks spoke for itself, and Yunho knew that there was definitely something more to it.
"...I was at a friend's house."
Amischievous grin made its way onto Yunho's gentle features.
"A friend's? What were you doing at this 'friend's' house?"
The blush on Hongjoong's cheeks deepened as he looked away from Yunho, who was enjoying this just a little too much for someone who didn't even know how to place his feelings.
"...Nothing! We were just watching Star Wars!!"
And there it was again. Yunho, at Hongjoong's words, immediately remembered Seonghwa's a little too insane obsession for the said movie, and his humor dropped drastically once again.
"...What about you?"
"Huh?"
"What are you doing here at this hour?"
And Yunho found himself back in his hopeless state. What should he say? "Yo I'm just having trouble existing 'cause I thought I liked Seonghwa but then Mingi confessed and now I can't stop thinking about him"? He couldn't say that. Hongjoong knew both Seonghwa and Mingi, and plus, he was Mingi's boyfrind until not even that long ago. Yeah there was no way in hell Yunho was going to say that.
But maybe he could say it anyway, maybe if he just...
"I thought I liked a friend of mine." Yeah, that was it. Yunho could just avoid saying their names. He could get an opinion from someone else like this.
Hongjoong nodded his head as Yunho let out a tired sigh.
"...But recently someone confessed to me. And now I can't stop thinking about them. I really wish I could place my feelings somewhere but I really don't know what those are in the first place."
A small sympathetic smile adorned Hongjoong's face. Yunho furrowed his eyebrows.
"He did it, right?"
Yunho was confused. Who did what exactly? Because he for sure didn't do anything. A thought crossed his mind but he immediately shrugged it off with a shake of his head. No, there was just no way Hongjoong was referring to him, it would just be strange. Okay, maybe not strange, but odd for sure. Because Hongjoong couldn't possibly be referring to-
"Mingi, I mean."
Ah.
So, Hongjoong knew. He was in fact referring to Mingi.
And it downed on Yunho. He was the reason for their breakup. He was the reason two of his best of bestfriends were hurting. He had been the one hurting Mingi, and he had been the one to indirectly hurt Hongjoong.
"Yunho, It's alright, really. And I know what you're thinking. No, you are not at fault. No one is."
Hongjoong always managed to be the one to understand him without him even needing to speak. Right after Yeosang of course.
"And for your feelings... I would say, take your time, don't rush into things. Try and spend time with both your friend and Mingi and your heart will tell you, but not if you keep thinking about it. That will just drive you mad."
Yunho nodded his head, his eyes fixed down at his hands. Hongjoong was right. He would become crazy before he even figured out his feelings if he kept thinking about them. And maybe he really should just try and enjoy his time with the both of them.
Maybe he would figure it out then.
And so that he decided to do, just live to the max until it would become obvious where his heart stood. He looked up at Hongjoong, smiling softly.
"Thanks, Joong."