CONTENT WARNING
self-harm
(authors note at the end about it)
the three arrived at the top floor of the hall in which conrad lived and searched for his room before finally finding it.
"aren't college dorms supposed to, you know, lock?" eden raised her eyebrows when jeremiah pushed the door open.
"well, jere pushed it open, didn't he?" belly pointed out.
"yeah, clearly, belly. i'm just wondering how." eden replied.
belly just shrugged and they all looked around the room.
"hey, look, his bed is made. i mean, things can't be so dire if his bed is made, right?" belly nodded.
"eh, not so sure about that. that's one of his least favorite chores besides sweeping the floor. i think i know my brother pretty well." eden disagreed.
"yeah, i'm sure you do. i know my brother pretty well too." belly remarked.
eden looked belly up and down.
lately, eden's patience had been running very thin and belly was pushing her to her limit.
"are you two going to be like this the whole time because—."
"whoa, excuse me. this is my room that you guys are rifling through." a college boy with a towel in his hand stated from the doorway.
it was conrad's roommate trusky.
"well, you should make sure your room is locked next time." eden nodded.
usually, eden would've been apologetic, but she didn't care anymore.
belle nudged eden who nudged her back.
"stop." jeremiah scolded them in a whisper.
if jeremiah was the voice of reason, then things must be bad. which of course, they were.
"hey, man. i'm conrad's brother and this is our sister eden. you and i talked on the phone earlier." jeremiah introduced.
"and i'm belly." belly introduced.
"i don't think he asked." eden whispered to belly.
"you're belly? yo, when you and conrad broke up, my man fell into a depression." he said to belly.
"uh, i-i don't think that was because of me." belly defended.
"you sure?" eden raised her eyebrows.
belly turned on her heel to face eden. "conrad broke up with me."
"i'm aware. probably had a good reason to." eden shrugged.
"edes—."
"oh really? you wanna play that game, eden?" belly raised her eyebrows.
"bells—."
"sure, let's play." eden nodded and folded her arms.
"guys, let's not—."
"fine let's do it. you dumped my brother on the day of your mother's funeral. you took him outside of your house and broke up with him." belly reminded.
eden tensed up.
"damn, y'all were dating each other's brother's?" trusky, conrad's roommate, chimed in.
they both ignored him.
"so? i don't see the point in bringing that up." eden said, trying not to let old feelings come up.
"because you're talking about what went down with me and conrad, so i'm going to talk about what went down with you and steven. you dumped him and then went back inside of your house. what did he do? he waited. he waited an hour. he waited an entire hour for you to come back out and change your mind. but you didn't. so he left and came back to my mom and me. do you know what happened after? no, you don't, because you weren't there, so i'm going to tell you. that ki—that kid did not eat or sleep for weeks. weeks. he sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. have you ever seen steven cry besides about susannah? no. no one has. not even me. but this hurt him bad. so bad that he refused to even talk. he couldn't form words and if he did, it was four at most. you know why? because he loves you. his heart beats for you and it always has, since we were kids. just like me and conrad." belly began.
tears were now streaming down eden's face and she quickly wiped them away.
"that's the problem with you fishers. besides jere and susannah, you guys just hurt people and don't care. you get what you want and need from them, then you throw it away. you throw it all away. do you know how many girls steven had avoided because he thought you were coming back—?"
"belly, stop—."
"—plenty. he's avoided plenty of them, including taylor who still has a crush on him from when we were also kids. you know, i wish he had dated her instead of you because if he did, he would've come out of his room to do something other than use the bathroom—."
"enough, belly—."
eden was crying so hard she could feel herself not able to breathe anymore. it felt like someone was filling her airways with sand and she couldn't stop them.
"—meanwhile, what were you doing? smoking pot and being a slut, not giving a shit about anyone else? not giving a shit about what you did to steven? he wasn't himself and he still isn't. and who's fault is that? yours. so i don't want to hear a sob story about how it was because of susannah and how—."
"enough!" jeremiah yelled. "belly, enough."
eden was shivering at that point, basically shaking.
"um, hey, trusky, i was gonna come later to get my sweater from in here, but i heard yelling. is everything okay?" a girl asked as she walked in.
"uh, hey sophie. the sweater is somewhere here." trusky replied.
eden shook her head and stormed out of the room, trying to find the nearest bathroom.
she locked herself in one of the stalls once she found the bathroom and began hurting herself like she had been.
she sobbed and sobbed as she did.
there was then a knock on the stall and eden jumped.
"um, hey, excuse me. are you okay in there?" a voice asked.
it was sophie.
"f-fine. jus-just go—go away." she said through tears.
"i would, but that really cute curly-haired kid told me to come after you since this is a girls bathroom and he technically can't come in. i mean, guys come in here, like, all the time, but he seems super respectful so—."
eden opened the stall door and sophie gasped when she saw her.
"oh my god. okay, um, okay. paper—towel—paper towels. now, paper towels. okay."
the girl grabbed paper towel's and helped eden out before rushing to get jeremiah.
eden stood just outside of the bathroom before the girl along with jeremiah and the belly came running over.
"oh my god." belly breathed.
"shit, okay. eden, um put your sweater back on, there's a first aid kit in the car, belly will help—."
"no. if i'm going to go back in your stupid car with her there then i am taking care of it myself and i don't want to talk to either of you, okay? okay."
she then stormed out of the dorms and out to the car.
jeremiah followed after her quickly, while belly slowly lagged behind, feeling ashamed for what she had said.
AUTHORS NOTE
i just want to come here and reiterate the fact that self-harming is real and raw, but you are not alone and there is help and resources out there if you need.
talk to a trusted friend, family member, teacher, etc.
there is also the 988 number.
you are amazing and strong and you can keep going.
i'll most likely finish the flashback in the next chapter or so!
muah,
lea <3