Rain.
A natural phenomena of millions of silver threads dancing on the wind. Fat raindrops playfully chase each other down the glass. Watch their performances and you'll feel blessed. Join them for too long and you'll get sick. But nevertheless, it is always fun to watch them dance.
I always turn my head to them, attracted to their beautiful performance. I would like to feel those drops. Jumping in puddles like a little kid. I remember I used to do that, with Clara, Beatrix, Arlo, Aiden, and Alan.
Alan would be the happiest among us. To him, playing in the rain is much more enjoyable than playing with toys or video games. Perhaps it is because it brought him to an adventure where he doesn't have to worry about rules or boundaries. It made him feel more free. I wish I could be like him. I wish I could be like Alan. I admire him so much, he is a very kind and sweet boy. He enjoyed his youth very well. He did not waste his life, the life that his parents had nurtured with their soul. He has worked hard to live as best as he can.
But I can't...
I... failed...
Mother would be very disappointed if she saw me right now. Pathetic, miserable little boy who can't make the right decisions. I have wasted my life, burdened father, and ruined my vow to mother, and I have killed someone. The one person that had fought for his life much better than I did, my best friend. What makes it worse is his aunt will be alone now that he won't return. Dang it, I have ruined so many lives. I'm a monster...
The thought weighs heavy on me, trample on every corner of my heart. Each drop felt like needles, a relentless percussion that hammered my soul. Its melody transforms hollowness in my gut, washing away all my hope.
Wait... This feels weird... What is this feeling?
This is the first time I have felt this heaviness, this... darkness. It doesn't feel good, let it away from me. It feels like there is a dark poison clouding my mind, my soul. Someone help me, get me away from them.
Wait, I'm all alone. Or rather, I have to be alone. I deserved it. I'm a hazard that ruins everyone's lives around me. I can't let myself be around my friends, or anyone. Perhaps it would be better if I just-
"Callahan!" a clear call snapped me back to reality. "You look tired there, are you following us?" I can't say I understand all those math jabberwockies, but I can't admit that I was distracted from my first existential crisis.
"I'm all good sir." I lied without a moment of hesitation.
"Hmm, very well. If that's the case, then we'll move on." The teacher continues his lecture as he points his long ruler to the board.
Phew, that was close. One wrong move and I'll be in detention, good thing I have a good reputation in math. Perhaps all father's harsh lectures paid off after all. Although that is a matter I luckily get by. I notice a lot of my classmates stare at me with various emotions. I thought it was weird, they don't usually give me that look. Unless, I was acting strange or showing a weird expression when I was admiring the rain. Well, either way, it doesn't really matter. It's not like I caused a scene or anything. It's probably nothing special.
As I hear the teacher explain the board, I put my face to my hand and return to the rain. Oh how I would love to dance in there, let all of them pour into my despair. A touch of water always calms my nerves. Drinking, showering, swimming, all of them are a blessing. I wish I could touch them again. That is until I feel a thin liquid gently flow into my hand. I realized soon after, my tears had been streaming on my face.
Shrill ring of the bell sent a signal to the teacher. "Class dismissed, everyone. Enjoy your break time." Waves of movement spread among the students, I was the first one to act.
I swiftly run to the restroom and wash my face through a stream of water.
It's not working...
No matter how much water, how much pressure I throw them into my face. Despair surrounds me still.
17 years I have lived and this is the first time I have experienced something like this. Even so, I couldn't manage them. Is it because I no longer have mother to accompany me in my dejection? Is it because my father is too busy with his work? Or is it, I'm just destined to be a failure?
Creak!
Sound of an open door divert my thoughts to the mirror. Ah right, I just recalled that I have to meet someone. I better hurry, I should waste no time.
I dabbed at my drenched face with a crumpled restroom tissue. Knowing a gang of students about to enter, I wait for them to open the door for me to leave. I quickly weaved through the crowd, dodging every stroller I came across. For some reason, I can't keep my head up. This is probably not a big deal, but I have avoided everyone's eyes ever since Alan disappeared. It felt like they'll see through me if I gaze at them.
No, it's because I'll hear their voices.
"Hey, that's the guy that posted posters of a missing student. Rumor has it he called his friends as a search party and of them disappeared."
"After that, he looks so down. Is it guilt?"
"Our parents have troubled themselves to pay enough money only to focus on studies and he just wasted his time to search for a missing student? Who the hell does he think he is?"
"This is why you shouldn't pry into someone's businesses. Calvin always does that, and instead of facing punishment, he involves his friends. What a loser."
"Doesn't that make him the kidnapper's accomplice? I wonder if he'll do the same to us."
Stop it, please. Make it stop.
The voices get louder on every step. I pick up my pace, fleeing from these wretched feelings. This is a bad time to be miserable, I can't let them take over me. I pray this darkness be hushed as I reach my destination, the library.
Quiet and structured, packed with knowledge and rules. Intrigued from lack of insight and you'll be blessed by towers of wisdom. But if you cause a scene, you'll be cast out. It is the perfect place to investigate Alan's disappearance discreetly with him. I quickly scan my surroundings, seeking a familiar face. Most of the patrons here are my juniors with Freshmen as the majority. Numerous tomes of mythical covers wrapped by curious readers. I only regularly visit the library for research, probing knowledge for my assignments. This time, I come with much more urgency.
"Over here, Calvin." Aiden waved on a nearby table, standing out amongst the crowd.
I quickly advanced forward, responding to his call. "Forgive me for being late."
"All good, I have also just arrived."
Aiden pulls out papers from his bag, sorting them on the table. "I have done some research and this is what I found."
A train in Hascait disappeared after passing through a long tunnel. Sighting of a mysterious boy in Corgan vanished in an alley. 30 students in Gauder went missing on a field trip in a forest. A young boy returns after going missing in the arctic claiming that a flying monster took his sister. The CEO's son of Agehenn company vanished after a trip to Duna.
As is common for people to go missing, they are never pleasant. These abnormal cases happened around the world and none of them have been given conclusions and only leaves them as unexplained mysteries. Most people probably thought these as conspiracies and fairy tales, but cases relating to a CEO of a big company and a missing train should have left at least a small trace of evidence. Although with all these similarities, none of them talks about a silver card.
"There are numerous reported paranormal happenings but they are all concluded as 'unexplained mysteries'. Neither of them recount their returning," says Aiden. "I'm sorry, Calvin. But I don't think we can-"
"Are you saying we shouldn't save Alan?" I give Aiden a frigid stare.
"Wha-No, that is not what I meant!" Aiden reacts, stunned by Calvin's indirect intimidation. His eyes do not intend to be friendly.
"If what happened to Alan is the same phenomena as these events, then we wouldn't have a chance to solve it. We tried it when we attempted to solve Eula's disappearance and then we lost Alan. I fear one of us will disappear if we continue, especially alone."
Damn it, he is right. I don't want to admit it, I can't let myself admit it. I dread losing my motivation to save Alan once I do. If I do that, the memories of me and Alan will darken and eventually impact people around him. That includes his aunt, Arlo, Beatrix, and my sister. Will they loathe me once they learn of the incident? Once they do, I will be alone. I won't have anyone to be by my side. All of my efforts will go to waste. I can't let that happen, I can't let myself visit the darkness again.
But the facts still remain. Aiden and I can't solve this mystery. This is not a case of a missing cat nor a kidnapping. This affair is an enigma far beyond any incidents. Humans are forever weak in front of the supernatural, or rather of the unknown. When such things happen, we can either be driven by madness or name them as unsolved mysteries.
Both of us are mere high school students with no real experiences with the outside world. Now, we are dealing with the forces beyond the laws of nature. It is indisputable that one of us will not meet a good ending if we try to solve this mystery alone. But even if we tell this to someone else, police officers or people we trust, they won't be able to help us. The newspapers Aiden had gathered are the proof of it. It won't change a thing if we share this affair or not.
Aiden has researched all he can to find a reference of Alan and Eula's disappearances. He must have worked very hard to the point it made him yield to despair. I'm not the only one struggling here.
I must convince him to help solve this mystery by ourselves. As ridiculously impossible it is, I can't let it end like this. There are so many things we can start with, clues we can decipher. That is how I can persuade Aiden. "Even so, Aiden, we can't give up that easily. The mystery of the missing student is nor over yet, we have one more new clue."
"Huh? What do you mean?" Aiden looks confused.
"Let's say that there is an explanation of their disappearances. A certain way the kidnapper abducts them without touching them. Like with a new technology that teleports people."
"Through a card? You are not making any sense."
"Okay, I'm taking that too far. But what I meant is that the situation we are in is not as it is in the newspapers."
"What are you talking about, Calvin? Alan disappeared right after he touched a random card, instantly. It is a supernatural event like in the newspapers."
"Supernatural or not, they have an unchanged pattern in it."
Aiden went silent for a second, he seems to realize what Calvin is going to do. "Wait, are you saying there is a rule in them?"
"Rules, Aiden." I assert, voicing like I have no doubts in it. "People who have searched for the missing individuals haven't disappeared like Alan did. Incidents in the newspaper do not require a card or an object to make people vanish out of thin air."
"I do not see your point in your argument."
"I'm saying that what transpired in the newspapers is a much higher possibility for a natural paranormal event than it is what happened to Alan and Eula."
Aiden shows huge puzzlement, clearly he did not understand for which I understand. But I have to persuade him to my side, I can't give up this easily. Letting go of this miniscule possibility is the same as letting go of my identity. I can't let that happen.
"No one knows how these victims disappeared, but that does not mean they have no connection with the silver card. They also have no leads nor clues to a suspect. But we did, and we were chasing him straight ahead. Hence the consequence, Alan's disappeared."
"Even so, why only Alan? You also touched the card but you didn't vanish?"
"What matters is not how these incidents happen, but the fact that the possibility of a mastermind behind these incidents are not zero."
Both of us went silent. Despite the absurdity, we can deny all but one thing. "You want to save him no matter what, right Aiden? Even if the percentage is extremely low."
Aiden has no argument against that. He is an older friend of Alan than I am. I know how much Alan means to him behind his repudiation. Which is why I believe I can tell this to him, "I also want to save him, Aiden. He is a very dear friend to me, to us. No matter how low, how ludicrous it is, I can't let myself do nothing."
Aiden let out a sigh. It appears he feels somewhat relatable at the least. "But I can't do this alone, I know that. But you are the only one I can trust, Aiden. We created this mess, let's finish it together."
When facing uncertainty, it is best to invite a companion to ease up the burden. In this case, I use myself and our emotional connection with Alan in an attempt to persuade Aiden. I'm not fond of this method, but I have no choice. I myself need a companion to face this nightmare.
"All right, for 3 days. If we didn't find anything, consider the possibility to be zero," Aiden stated in his proposal. To which I accept.
"Fair enough. We can start our investigation in the park at 6 in the evening. In all places, the silver card is either left or prepared there for some reason."
"All right, I'll leave all the crazy theories to you, Calvin."
"It is the least I can do."
Aiden took a glance at a wall clock, showing 5 minutes close to the 12th. "We should go back to class. We can't let more trouble bother our investigation."
"Yeah, I agree."
Aiden packs his bag and joins me departing the library. I genuinely didn't expect it to go this good when we planned this occasion. The crowd seems to be less intimidating after our discussion. Dark voices appear no more. Is it relief? Maybe. I pray this small comfort will grow in the future.
Calvin's hopes grow steady with his companion, starting the journey to uncertainty. Unaware of the dark world and a hidden shadow who listened to their talks, and is following their footsteps.