"I told you not to come after me. I told you to fucking stay in abnegation. What are you doing here beatrice?!"
The day was finally there. Choosing day, i was finally going to be free. When i take a quick look in the mirror i see that i have a bruise under my eye just above my cheek. It's not as bad as the ones on my arms and wrists.. I hear my mom calling me from downstairs and i get up from my bed, i can't cover up the bruise because i've never had concealer to do it. We were not allowed to use makeup, so that nobody would notice us. We had to always keep ourselves lower than the others, i didn't like this lifestyle at all.
I walked down the stairs and i saw my mother stand by the front door. My brother and father were nowhere to be seen, they must have already left. "I'm ready," i said when i had my shoes on. My mother was looking at my face like she was examining me, she must've seen my bruise. "I accidentally walked into the door."
"Beatrice, that doesn't look like you walked into a door. When did it happen and who did this to you?" My mother was really concerned about it, but how could i possibly tell her that the guy they thought was good for me to marry had actually beaten me up a few times? I couldn't even tell them i didn't want to marry him because they would say i was being stupid. It wouldn't be smart of me not to marry that psychopath because in their eyes he was the best guy in abnegation and all the girls would want to marry him. He was the golden son in law they could imagine. Only if we were not alone of course.
"Mom don't worry, it's nothing."
She didn't believe me, i saw it in her eyes. But for now she shrugged it off and we both left the house. I looked back as if i would never come back, i will not miss this place. I will not. I will be free, although i will miss my mother. We started walking towards the place where the choosing ceremony would take place when suddenly a voice called my name.
"Beatrice!" It was him. The psychopath that i will never see anymore when everything's over and i will be switching to dauntless. "I will see you after the ceremony, i have some things to talk with you. If that's also alright with you of course miss prior."
My mother must've seen me get tense when i saw him. She saw how scared i became when he called my name, i know from the mimicking on her face. Her one eyebrow slowly went up like she was trying to understand why. "Of course. See you in two hours Leo," she said and we both turned around and started walking again. "Why didn't you say anything to him?"
"You answered him already. It was not my place to answer him."
She turned her head away from me and kept walking for a few more minutes before she stopped and turned to me. "I would never want you to leave us, me. And until now i never thought about you leaving. But..." she tried to keep eye contact but i saw her eyes get watery. "Leave Beatrice. Free yourself from this place, the most important thing for me is for you to be happy. Don't even look back and leave."
~
I chose dauntless. I hugged my mother one last time and did not look back for a second. I was finally free of the beating, i was finally going to live the life i deserved. I'm already healing. I feel my whole body healing. When i was the first initiate to jump into the dauntless compound Christina - the girl i met jumping on and off the train - was shocked. This is the first time i can be myself, i was taking all the chances i could.
"Are you going to jump or do you want someone to push you in?" Said the leader named Eric. He had tattoos all over his body, which i didn't like very much. There are some things i still have to get used to. I nod and let myself fall down, a little scared of what was down there where i jumped. I was surprised to find out that i fell into a net. I was relieved and started laughing that i was still alive.
When i got pulled of the net by really strong hands i heard this really familiar voice before i could even see his face.
"What the fuck are you doing here Beatrice?" He whispered, it was impossible for someone else to hear what he said. Even i almost didn't hear him. When i locked my eyes with his i knew it was him. It was Tobias. The guy who left me alone in abnegation. He was angry, he was really angry. But it wasn't the time to be angry. A girl appeared from behind him and we both broke eye contact.
"What's your name?" The girl asked as she walked with me a few inches away from Tobias.
"Tris. My name is Tris."
The girl smiled. "I'm Lauren. Welcome to dauntless Tris."
She walked over to Tobias as he turned his eyes to look at me for a few seconds. His eyebrows were screaming that he was furious. I remember our conversation we had one day before he left abnegation. But he couldn't possibly think that i would stay in abnegation. Did he really? Even after he told me he loved me?
*flashback*
"Beatrice.." he started taking a deep breath. "You know tomorrow-"
I cut him by nodding "i know, don't remind me."
We stayed silent for a few more minutes before he continued. "I know you don't like the idea of me leaving.. but you know i have to. You do right, Beatrice?"
I nod. My eyes were watering, i was about to cry at the thought of living without him. He had to leave, i know he did. After his father was treating him like shit he wasn't going to stay of course. "I do."
I felt his hand just next to mine as he let it rest next to him. His hand lightly touched mine and he didn't move his hand. "I'm going to miss you."
When he said that i lift my shoulders up and down and without thinking i said "You don't have to. Three years and i will be choosing-"
"Don't Beatrice," he said without letting me finish. He now moved his hand and turned his face to me. "Don't come after me."
"Tobias-"
"Beatrice. Stay here! Don't even think about leaving, do you hear me?!" He stood up without even thinking how i felt at that moment. Why did he not want me to come after him?
"Tobias you can't change my mind! I can't do this without you don't you understand? You are my only friend!" I said while he was walking away. A friend -i liked very much-.
"Beatrice. It's not safe for you to leave abnegation, open your eyes! You're divergent you think they are going to let you live when they find out?!"
It felt like a slap to my face when he used 'divergent' against me as an insult. We always talked about how special it was, and now he is using it against me?!
"I will live."
"You are going to," he said looking in my eyes one last time. "in abnegation."
*end*
We were split in two groups, one group went with Lauren -the ones who don't need a tour- and -the ones who need a tour- we were following Tobias as he lead us through the compound. He glanced at me every moment he could get, but it was not a warming glance. He could kill me right now every time he got reminded that i was also there.
"I want to see you all in the dining hall in fifteen minutes. The dauntless leaders are going to make an announcement that's important for all of you."
Everyone was cheering when they turned to the sleeping area where everyone had to sleep together. That wasn't something i was amused with. I have never slept with anyone in my room, not even my mother and now i have to with boys and girls?
When Tobias was walking away i took the chance and ran after him. Before i could call him by his name he shushed me. "Can we talk?"
"We can't. Go change and don't be late."
He was so cold. It was not the Tobias i knew when i was thirteen, his eyes were not looking the same. "No, we need to talk Tob-"
"Four. My name is Four," he said with a stern voice. "I don't know you and you don't know me alright? We are two strangers coming from the same faction, understood?!"
"But we are not Tobias! You told me you loved me and you didn't want to leave me! What changed?! Why are you acting like this?!"
He grabbed me by my arm and pulled me aside. He was full of anger now, it scared me. "Stop talking about the past, we are not kids anymore. Yes i told you i loved you, but it was before i told you not to come after me."
"Don't you anymore?"
He looked away before he locked our eyes again. His hand was squeezing my arm, harder than i thought he would. He let my hand go. "No. I don't Beatrice."