Finally away from the chaos, you relax your tense shoulders as soon as the door to Nat's bedroom shuts. You take notice of the way Nat constantly protectively hovers near you and the subtle brushes of her hand against yours. If you're honest you hadn't been expecting her to be this physical but you're not complaining.
The first thing you notice is her gray comforter and you smirk at the reminder of your previous conversation.
"What are you smiling at?" You could give her a long list of reasons you would be smiling right now (most of them pertaining to her presence) but instead, you opt for the truth.
"You really need better taste in comforters"
Nat groans, shaking her head but smiling nonetheless. The apprehension from the car ride seems to have completely dissipated and you're grateful that she's feeling as comfortable around you in person as she was over the phone.
Taking the opportunity to observe her room, you notice the decoration is minimal but still cute. Books on the shelves, a few framed pictures of her and the other Avengers, a few framed drawings made by some kids who call her "Aunty Nat"
It feels incredibly intimate to be in the space where Natasha spends all of her time and you're unsure what to do with yourself until Nat gestures for you to sit at the edge of her bed.
You take the invitation and plop down on the gray comforter while Nat chooses to stay standing, the two of you observing each other in privacy for the first time. Your hands itch to touch her again and you have a feeling you were going to have that urge for a while.
The silence wasn't uncomfortable, but it was full of things the two of you were too afraid to say. Was it too soon to tell her how you felt? Maybe you should diffuse some of this tension between the two of you?
"So not an FBI agent then" It's the first thing that comes to mind and it feels appropriate to mention the first conversation you'd ever had for one of your first in-person conversations. Like an ode to the past but a promise of a playful future.
She smiles at the reference "Not quite" Now that the two of you are alone her expression has changed into something softer. Her once-guarded eyes now shine with an expression so profound it makes your heart ache. A permanent smile stuck on her inviting lips. Without the pressure of other people, the two of you could express your love for each other with more than just a verbal longing. Your body language spoke more than your words ever could.
You don't know if Natasha can read the emotions on your face, or if her reading them would be a good or bad thing but you know you don't want to say goodbye anytime soon.
"I think you owe me a picnic date" it's the only thing you can think to say to comprehend your desire to stay without outright asking. You hope it quells any doubts in Nat's mind that you would want anything near the opposite of being with her.
"Oh yeah?" Her reply is sultry, the rasp of her voice seems to intensify tenfold in the privacy of her room and you're suddenly aware of just how alone the two of you are. If Nat didn't want anyone to enter and interrupt then no one would dare.
You have to clear your throat before you can reply, afraid the want would be too prominent and scare her off. Truthfully she could do anything she wanted to you in this moment and you wouldn't object.
Her signature smirk is back in an instant and you're sure you've been caught just by the look in her eyes but she doesn't comment on it "I think I can do that"
Her phone buzzes in her back pocket and it reminds you that there's a world outside of the two of you- reminds you that Nat is a woman with a tough life and even tougher responsibilities. A life that you would hate to get in the way of.
The thought makes you frown "You must be busy with sorting out the government and superhero business and other stuff" She doesn't give you more than a second to drown in your thoughts-
"I'd drop everything for you, Y/n" It's a quick response, and even she seems surprised by her own words but she doesn't seem to regret them. It's a bigger admission than you were ready for but it's still a welcome one. If anything it gives you confidence in your own feelings.
~
The two of you spend the next hour catching up on each other's lives and dancing around the obvious tensions between you. Nat remains standing and you wonder if it's a force of habit until you notice her restless hands and come to the striking realization that she was holding herself back- from touching you.
When there's a lull in the conversation you gather up the courage to ask her a question you've been wondering since you figured out Nat was Natasha
"Why did you keep texting me? You could've blocked me or probably disabled my phone if you wanted but you didn't" You don't tell her yet how grateful you are that she never stopped texting you. How you were so consumed by your loneliness that you never even went out before her.
The thrill that anyone could be her was one of the things that pushed you to go outside more.
Nat smiled softly "I don't really know why either. I probably should've done those things but..." Her eyes turn solemn despite the smile on her face and it makes you want to distract her from whatever memory is making her sad but the desire to know why she kept texting you kept your mouth shut "I think part of me needed someone to talk to who didn't know who I was or what I'd done. It also didn't hurt to get such high praise about myself all the time"
You blush, looking away. The memory of all of your fan-girl rambles causing you to groan and cover your face in embarrassment.
"Oh my gosh, I said all of those things about how much I liked you to you" You hear her footsteps get closer and when you peek out from between your fingers you see her standing right in front of you staring down at you with mirth in her eyes.
"Don't be embarrassed, it was cute" You choke out a sound of embarrassment, you're not sure how red you are but you're sure tomatoes would probably be jealous.
"I regret so much" You mock whisper and in a second two hands are tugging yours away from your face, the sly smile on Nat's face is replaced with a more serious look
"Y/n," You struggle to maintain eye contact when she's looking at you so strongly "Nobody's ever talked about me the way you did, it made me proud of who I am, which is something I'm not often" You frown a little and Nat's eyes drop to your lips for a split second before regaining eye contact
"You can be embarrassed but you're not allowed to regret it" You nod slowly and she pulls away, letting go of your arms but still standing over you. Your skin burns where she touched and you're sure your heart is beating loud enough for her to hear it.
She had no business having this much of an effect on you but you were helpless to stop it. -Not that you wanted to.
"So..." You start " This might make things a little awkward between us but I don't think I can keep it to myself anymore" She tilts her head in question but stays silent for you to continue. You take a deep reassuring breath in and begin speaking before you can convince yourself to quit
"I know this might sound a little bit crazy because this is our first time meeting in person but you're such an incredible person inside and out, and you were always there for me when I needed you, and you're unfairly funny for someone who claims to not have a sense of humor and well... it was kind of inevitable that I would fall in love with you"
It's terrifying to admit to her but there's a weight that lifts off of your shoulders nonetheless. The silence is heavy and you can't bring yourself to look her in her eyes, scared that all you'll find is rejection or disgust. You're so sure that you've just ruined the best potential friendship and regret begins to sink into your skin when Nat once again guides your face to look up at her.
Much to your surprise, you don't find disgust or disappointment, instead, you find two glassy green eyes staring at you with so much adoration it fills your whole body with warmth. She looks like she can't believe what she just heard is real and it's your turn to hear just how rapidly her heart is beating
"Say it again" It takes you a few seconds to register her words but once you do a hopeful smile creeps onto your face
"I love you." You say a little shakily, and then with more confidence " I love you, Nat. More than I probably should love someone I met on the internet but what can I say? I fell in love with you." You laugh a little as happy tears begin trailing down your cheeks, "You don't have to say it back I just-"
"I love you too" She interrupts and your heart tugs blissfully in your chest "From the moment I met you I should've blocked your number but I couldn't. You just had this magnetic energy even through the phone and it drew me to you in a way I knew would end up with my heart in a mess." You're crying even harder now and Nat takes a moment to wipe the tears from your face before continuing-
"- And then I saw you at Starks party and you were... everything. Witty and gorgeous and beyond anything I could've ever imagined you'd be. That's when I knew, even if it was terrifying- even if it was unfamiliar and I could get hurt- I knew then that I was in love with you."
You've never heard anyone talk about you in such a way and it moves you so much that you can't bear to hold yourself back any longer. Your hand drifts to her face and your eyes search hers for permission only for her to pull you in.
Your lips meet in a teary overwhelmingly tender kiss and you think you could live in this moment forever. Nat's hands tug at your cheeks to pull you even closer and your hands find purchase around her neck, the two of you lost in each other.
Your body melts at her touch and you lose track of time as your mind hazes over, incapable of thinking of anything but the feeling of Nat's lips against yours until the need for oxygen pulls you apart.
Even though you pull apart Natasha keeps her forehead pressed against yours, not wanting to break contact. Overwhelmed with joy, a small breathy laugh escapes you as you stare into Nat's heady gaze.
"Do you think we could do that again?" You're a little shy to ask but Nat responds with a husky laugh of her own
"I don't plan on stopping anytime soon, Y/n"
A/n: Gah! Finally! God they're so perfect for each other :( I'm going to miss them ~ Starry