Days blended into one another, a never-ending cycle of numbness and despair.
It seems a tunnel with no way out.
Everything muffled around me, I've become a ghost haunting these walls, who's crumbling day after day.
I'm here, but at the same time not, sitting as I look out the window as the time slipping out of my hands.
It hurts so fucking much.
It's like a knot has formed around my heart and I can't even breath without feeling this pain.
Love was supposed to lift me up, but instead, it's left me shattered and hollow.
I never think that love could hurt this way, I never think that she could ever inflict such pain upon me.
It's like dying, except every fiber of me being is still alive, still feeling every cut inflicted upon it.
And that's even worse of dying.
With time, the pain morphs into numbness, a shield that protects my feelings, until it hardens into a seething rage and bitter resentment.
People move through the house-my mom, my sisters, even Scarlett but their voices fade into the air as their figures blending into my tears.
Without her, there's no one here for me anymore.
Nothing feels right.
A distant noise pierce the silence, i blink trying to focus and I see MK standing in front of me.
Concern etches into every line of her face as she reaches out of me, touching gently my shoulder.
"Hey are you okay?" she asks, her voice fills with worry.
I struggle to find my voice, to push back the overwhelming of my emotions.
"I-i don't know anymore" i manage to whisper
Her eyes fills with compassion and hugs me from behind.
"I'm so sorry Liz" she says, i frown at first, but then I realize
I lower my gaze, my phone in my tremble hands, and the paparazzi's pictures of y/n and Aubrey at an airport hits me again.
"Oh..." i whimper
"It seems they've already found time for their honeymoon" i add joking bitterly, but actually feeling my heart shatter into pieces.
"You'll see Liz, everything will be okay, she will have definitely an explanati-"
"Wait what? You're kidding right? What kind of explanation should there be for this other than that she fucking cheated on me!" I cut her off, needing to release my pain
"Liz please, try to be reasonable-"
"MK what a fuck! Are you really defending her?" i lash out at my sister
"I'm not defending her Liz, I'm just trying to make you see the situation from another perspective" she explains calmly, but anger is already boiling in my veins
"You're really defending a stranger instead of your sister, are you really choosing her over me, how dare you MK? Where's your loyalty to me huh?" I ask, annoyed by her words
"I'm not picking sides, but I know y/n, and I'm sure she would never do something like that to you. I know her well enough to be sure-"
"Oh you know her well? Really?" I cut her off with a bitter laugh
"And since when have you know her so well? I didn't realize you two were so close" i interrogate her
"Liz please-"
"Please what, MK? I really want to know how you suddenly know her better then me, when did you two spent all this time together, huh?"
"Liz, stop it" she tries to interrupt me but I've already lost all rationality.
"Maybe there's something you need to tell me, sister? Was there something between you two? I mean, it wouldn't surprise me, especially since you're defending her like this" i accuse her gritting my teeth
"Liz-really stop it-"
"Oh y/n here, oh y/n there, oh I adore you" i say mimicking her
"Liz i-"
"Don't think I didn't notice your attitude around her, MK. I can't believe you two did this to me"
"Liz are you kidding? What's wrong with you?" She says, equally frustrated
"I'm just connecting the dots, MK. I think I get it now-"
"Okay, I'll stop you right here. You're out of your mind, Elizabeth. I don't even know how you could think something like that. But I'm not here to indulge your paranoia. Get a grip and then we can talk" she tells me, grabbing her things and turning to leave
"Fine, just go! Act just like her! Do like everyone else! I don't need anyone!" I yell, throwing a pillow
She looks back at me briefly, tears filling her eyes
"I don't recognize you Liz, i-i don't even know who you are anymore. It's like looking at a stranger and honestly, maybe it's a good thing that y/n moved away from you. Just think if she saw you like this right now, what would she think?" she whispers, before turning and leaving
"Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck y/n!" I scream desperately, tears flowing uncontrollably down my cheeks once again, even thinking they had dried up.
My body quivers with tension, every muscle would tight as my heart threatens to burst from the chaos of emotions swirling within me.
"I can't do this anymore" i whisper, the words barely audible even to my own ears
I get up from the sofa, stagger to the cellar and fingers fumbling as i grasp a couple of wine bottles Robbie had left here.
Returning to the living room, i uncork them and start drinking
"You know what y/n? I don't give a fuck anymore" I declare to the empty room.
With each swallow, i drown my sorrows in the fiery embrace of alcohol, the burn in my chest asks me to stop, but i go on and on.
What if she actually could see me now?
Would she be disgusted by the wreck I've become?
The thoughts twists in my mind, mingling with the bitter taste of regret that lingers on my tongue.
It's a twisted reversal of roles, where I drown my problems in alcohol while she casts me aside with indifference.
Maybe I even bear some responsibility in this, but her actions cut deeper than any wounds I've inflicted to her.
She cheated on me.
She abandoned me.
So fuck her.
I refuse to remain here, drowning in tears while I wait for her.
I left the lights on all this time, hoping for her return, but she chose to walk away without so much as an explanation or apology.
But I won't let her define me.
I can do without her, I'm capable to move forward and building again a life without her by my side.
Soon she will crawl at my feet realizing her mistake but i will be ready, I will be ready to stay firm and refuse to forgive her.
So you think you're the only one who can rebuild a life after me?
You're wrong y/n, and I'll prove it.
You're not the only one who can cheat with an ex.
Without realizing it, I find myself dialing Robbie's number on my phone.
Moments later, his deep, hoarse voice echoes through the line
"Lizzie? Is that you?" he asks, sounding confused
"Mmm...yeah...hi Rob" i slur into the phone, barely coherent
"What-why are you calling me? I thought-" he trails off but i cut off his words
"Rob could you come over? I need you" i mumble, my words slurring together as I take another sip of wine.
There's a brief silence, then I hear a sigh
"Alright, I'm on my way"
With that, i hang up the phone and sink deeper into the couch.
I don't know what I'm doing to be honest, but i don't care at all, I just need to have some fun and distract myself.
————————
Shortly after, there's a knock at the door so I stumble to my feet, take a large gulp of wine and rush to the door.
Robbie stands in front of me, his beard and hair have grown slightly and a spark awakens in me.
"Hey" i say, approaching him
"Hey" he says watching me with his dark eyes
I wrap my arms around his neck and draw my face close to his
"Liz, what are you doing?" he sighs
"Nothing I just-i missed you honey and I need you" i whisper biting my lower lip seductively.
"I'm not a toy Liz, if you called me just to distract yourself from some problem of yours with that girl" i stop him, placing my hand over his mouth
"I just need you, Rob" I insist looking into his eyes
"Between me and her- it's over" i add, bringing my hands to his chest, starting unbuttoning his shirt.
He grins, satisfied by my words
"So you realize you need a real man, huh?" he asks smirking and i nod
"Yeah, it was just-a phase" i lie, feeling a weight settle in my chest, but i swallow hard to push it down.
He looks at me, then grabs me and takes me on the couch.
As I turn off the lights, I surrender at his touch.
A tear slips down my face for the last time in that darkness, and then i completely give myself to him.
I'm sorry y/n, but there's no more lights on waiting for you.
____________________________________
Y/N'S POV
"I'm so glad you're here, my dear. You've brought so much happiness to her, and I'm so grateful for that" her mother says, gently caressing my check with a maternal touch.
"I always knew you two were meant for each other. I'm sorry that-you know that-" her voice trembles, and tears well up in her eyes, leaving her unable to finish her sentence.
I hug her, offering confront
"It's okay ma'am, I'm here now" i reassure her
She slightly moves her head, just to look at me and offering me a faint smile through her tears.
I don't want to lie to her, but I also can't bring myself to cause pain to this family confessing the truth, saying that my heart already belongs to someone else.
"My daughter is lucky to have you by her side" she whispers and I just nod, returning her smile.
"Oh fine, I'll leave you two some time alone now. You deserve it" she says, giving my cheek one last gentle caress before exiting the room.
I exhale softly then go back to her, i observe her silhouette framed by the soft glow of the window, as she lost in her thoughts.
With cautious steps i try to retreat to leave her alone, but she catches on to my presence without turning around.
"I know you're here, idiot" she giggles, finally facing me
She has changed a lot, but luckily her wit is still with her.
"I could recognize your perfume from mile away, even in a crowded room" she confesses, locking eyes with me as she approaches for a hug.
I hug her tightly in my arms, giving her some comfort as she purrs on my chest.
Then she pulls back and a smile graces her lips
"Did my mom embarrassed you?" she asks
I chuckle softly, running my fingers through her hair
"I'm sorry, she seems to want, you know- to pretend not to understand" she admits shyly
"It's okay, I understand her after all" i admit, offering her a reassuring smile
She tenderly cups my cheek, her thumb tracing soothing circles.
I can't help but close my eyes, feeling a tear escape and glide down my skin
"I know you haven't stopped thinking about her, it even for a moment" she says softly, catching me off guard.
I open my eyes widely, at loss for words
"I-Aubrey i-"
"It's okay y/n, really" she reassures me, her voice trembling slightly
"I know you love her, and it's nice to finally see you happy. She gives you what I was never able to give you" she admits as her skin flushes
A pang of guilt washes over me as I see the tears glistening in her eyes
"Aubrey..." i whisper, completely heartbroken, while she musters a brave smile
"You've done nothing but wait for her lately. I've seen you these days, you know- you always left some light on in the hope that she would come back" she says, which makes me smile
"You know me so well" i admit, feeling a bit embarrassed
"I know I can't keep you with me, it would be so selfish. Go back to her y/n" she says , her voice steady despite her emotions
"What? No, I want to stay here with you" i protest, but she surprises me by standing on tiptoe and pressing a gentle kiss on my forehead.
"Go to her, y/n. Run and get her back. If there's one thing I've really understood, it's that life is too short to wait without acting. Don't waste any more time" she urges as her words echoing in my mind
"No matter what, I will always be by your side y/n.
I loved you so much, and I always will"
....................................................................................
A/N:
Hiiiii guys how are you?
So, what's going on here?
I think something is about to happen, but who knows if it's good or bad...
What do you think about it?
Anyway as I said on TikTok, we're pretty much at the end.
I think I'll write a couple more chapters and then...the end!
But don't worry guys, as I promised Teach Me Professor will have a sequel!
Actually, I'm already working on the cover and maybe...who knows...a trailer👀
See you in the next chapter
Love y'll🤍