Valentine's Day Stantzler Fluff (rated Teen) Originally published by me as Happy Valentine's Ray on AO3, February 2024
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is an ADHD, AuDHD, cPTSD trait. It's a trauma response from repeated social rejection in the past. People with RSD can be extremely sensitive to feelings or disconnection. They fear and anticipate rejection, looking for signs it's coming.
There are many things Egon has come to know about Ray over their years of friendship. One of them is that Ray loves holidays. He loves the novelty and excitement of a special occasion. He likes presents, treats and a general fuss to be made.
Conversely, Egon hates holidays. Hates the break in routine and the disruption of schedule. The social expectations are bewildering. He doesn't like feeling pressured. He doesn't like to give presents because he struggles to pick the right thing to gift someone. He doesn't even like to receive presents because of the expectation to open them in front of the gift giver and do a performance about how grateful you are. Gifts are a nightmare.
They just got through the gauntlet of Christmas and Hannukah. But here it is, February. Valentine's Day is fast approaching and Egon doesn't know what to do for Ray.
Make a restaurant reservation? No. It will be too loud and crowded and the chef and servers will be too stressed to make accommodations for their food sensitivities. Another night.
A movie? Doesn't seem that special. They already hit the movies a couple times a month.
Drinking and dancing? Certainly not.
A Broadway show? Way too loud for Spengs. He could wear his ear plugs but it will be so bright and crowded. Why don't they make eye plugs? Further, Ray would know Egon hated it the whole time. It would dampen Ray's fun. This is why Ray takes Janine to Sunday matinees occasionally. They both love a big loud spectacle.
Puzzling over the issue like it's a calculus equation, Egon is frowning all morning. Not speaking much. Naturally, rejection sensitive Ray starts to think he's mad at him.
"Are you okay?" Ray asks Egon who is awfully grumbly and scowly. Stantz is feeling a little disconnected and uncertain because he doesn't know what this bad mood might be about. The mean voice in his head says it's his fault, whatever it is.
"Yes. Fine," says Egon, but he doesn't look over and notice the anxiety in Ray's eyes.
"You're not angry?" Ray asks.
"No," Egon says, irritated. He isn't angry. He's worried but does not want to talk about Valentine's Day and spoil any potential surprises. The social protocol says that boyfriends are supposed to plan dates independently and confidently.
Egon is quietly imploding and Ray is starting to spiral, not knowing.
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Later that day, Winston and Ray are coming back from a call. Ghost captured. It was a semi harmless mist. Just a classic haunting, a cold-spot-in-the-hallway-that-fills-people-with-existential-dread. They get those a lot. They vacuumed it right up with a handy little device Egon and Ray developed for vaporous and semi liquid apparitions. It was an easy 500 bucks, a pleased client and no damage to the home. They should be driving home happy but Ray's normally sunshiney face is a thundercloud.
"Man, did you get some of that dread mist on you? You look terrible Ray," Winston is wondering if he should have let Ray drive. Now that the job adrenaline is done, he's got the blues big time. "Do you need some PKE decontamination electrolytes? A cheeseburger? What's going on there, Ray?"
"Egon is going to break up with me," Ray says and immediately bursts into tears.
"The hell he is," Winston can't actually believe Ray just said that. "Pull over, okay?"
Ray is hyperventilating from trying not to cry too hard while driving. There's a bank parking lot up ahead they can pull over into. He stops Ecto 1. Drops his head to the steering wheel.
"Let me drive. You talk. Okay, Ray?" Winston leans down trying to catch Ray's darting eyes. Can't be done.
Zedd gets out of the car and walks around to the driver's side door. Ray is still slumped behind the wheel. He opens the car and looks down at Ray kindly. "C'mon, buddy."
Ray stands. Misery incarnate.
"Can I hug you?" Winston asks. Ray nods, tears and snot aflow. Winston hugs him tight and soon Ray's arms can float up and hug back. Some cars have slowed down but then driven on. The benefits of New York, right? The most famous car in the country stopped on the side of the road and two Ghostbusters in full uniform, hugging it out while one of them sobs. Nothing to see here. A few people honk and wave but no big deal. Winston waves back with the one hand that isn't patting Ray.
After a minute, Winston pulls back and puts his hands on Ray's shoulders. Squeezes. "Raymond, I promise you, Egon is never breaking up with you. You're perfect for each other. He'd go nuts without you. Can you get in the car and tell me what happened, okay?"
Ray trudges around to the passenger side and slides in. Winston settles behind the wheel.
He tries not to sound even slightly exasperated or judgemental with his tenderhearted buddy. "Ray, did he actually say he was breaking up with you?"
"No-o-o-o," Ray's voice wavers with tears.
"Did you have a fight?" Winston asks, wondering what those two would even fight about. From the outside they seem to share one brain.
Ray shakes his head, "Un uh."
"Then what happened?" Winston is gentle and concerned.
Ray draws a wobbly breath and says, "He's being weird."
"Egon is being weird? Did I hear that right?" Winston listens.
"Yeah. Frowning and stuff," Ray says, grimacing.
"Egon is being weird and frowning," Winston repeats. "Ray, you've met Egon. Weird and frowning is his thing."
"But it's not the regular frown. It's one of the bad ones," Ray tries to explain but no one else would get the infinite variety of Egon microexpressions that guide how Ray navigates the world.
Winston thinks they're probably safe to drive on now and he starts them rolling back home.
"Did you ask him about the frown?" Winston loves the way you have to wrestle this old car through traffic without power steering. It really feels like Driving.
"Yes," Ray is sighing and calmer now. He looks out the window and watches the scenery blur by. The visual input helps. "He said he was fine."
"Is he fine?" Winston asks.
"No," says Ray. His eyes are stinging still.
"Ray, all you know for sure is that he frowned and he said he was fine, right? Everything else is a story you've told yourself, until you know for sure otherwise. One moody morning does not a break up make, Stantz. Talk to him when we get back, okay?" Winston offers him a cigarette and they smoke all the way back to the firehouse despite recent promises made to both's significant others to quit.
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Around the same time, this is happening at the firehouse:
"Egon, what the hell is your problem?" Venkman corners Egon in the kitchen and asks much more bluntly than Ray would have. "You look like a depressed tree."
"None of your business, Peter," Egon glares at Venkman for butting in. The glare has zero effect.
"Egie, baby, everything 'round here is my business. I'm the sheriff in these here parts," Venkman offers Egon a Crunch bar, carried in his pocket for just such bribery purposes. He dangles it at the taller scientist. "Now, you can have this, but only if you tell Dr. Venkman what's got your panties in a wad this afternoon."
"Grrr, fine," Egon growls but can't resist. Venkman tosses the candy to him. "It's Valentine's Day. I don't know what to do for Ray."
"Oh, how precious," Venkman's response is as silly as Egon thought it would be. He has the nerve to giggle. "I love that these are your problems now."
"Be serious, Peter," Egon levels his intelligent, impatient gaze on Venkman's wily blue eyes.
"Flowers and candy? Tie yourself up with a big red bow?" Peter grins at Spengs.
"Negative," Egon shakes his head no.
"Did you ask him what he wants to do on the 14th?" Venkman is curious.
"Boyfriends are supposed to know. I'm supposed to know what Ray likes and surprise him with a gesture of affection. That's the social construct of Valentine's Day," Egon's head hangs low.
"Oh, brother," Venkman reaches over and whaps Spengler lightly on the side of the head. He flinches and makes a yow face, which to Venks is better than the pouty scowl. "Break the rules, genius. Just ask Stantz what he wants and do that. Why would you two nerds do things the way everyone else does it? Why start now?"
Egon feels slightly better, but for the head bap. He unwraps the chocolate bar and offers Venkman a piece.
"What are you going to do with Dana?" Egon asks, biting off a chunk for himself.
"She has to work. Symphony plays on the romance holidays. Big money night," Peter says around the bite of quickly melting confection. "So I'm going by her place that afternoon to drop off some roses and pick up some kisses. Then, I'll be waiting for her after the concert with champagne, a foot rub and a bubble bath ready to go."
"We do not have a bathtub and Raymond is ticklish, so no foot rubs," Egon responds like he has been taking mental notes while Peter has been talking.
"Ok, Ray's ticklishness is none of my business. You did indeed find the one thing, Spengs," Peter jokes. Inwardly deciding to tickle Stantz at the first opportunity, of course.
They eat the rest of the Crunch bar and make a plan to go together to get flowers on the morning of the 14th. Then they hear the big downstairs doors opening and Ecto 1 returning.
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Egon meets Ray down in the garage. He usually doesn't stop working to do greetings. They're all in and out so much, it would be constant interruption to pause productivity every time someone enters or exits. It's unusual for Egon to come down at their arrival. Maybe it should soothe Ray but the change in pattern actually makes him feel even more nervous. It feels like he's being called to the principal's office, like he's in trouble.
Winston sees Egon coming and skedaddles up the stairs, taking Janine with him up to the lounge, with the promise of hot tea.
Ray and Egon stand there a beat, feeling weird. Egon observes that Ray looks upset and he worries he has already messed up by worrying too much about messing up.
"Hi," Ray says, probably 2 minutes too late to be natural.
"Raymond," Spengs says, stiff as a corncob.
"Is something wrong?" Ray asks, losing his composure and stepping up to the other scientist quickly. He grabs Egon's hands and looks up at him.
"Valentine's Day," Egon says dryly, no preamble.
"What?" Ray wasn't expecting that.
"It's almost Valentine's Day," Egon is barely able to say a whole sentence. This is not going well.
"True," Ray agrees. Why is Egon standing in the garage saying facts at him? It is indeed almost Valentine's Day. "Umm...so what?"
"I know you like presents but I don't know what to get you," Egon says, ashamed to admit it.
"Oh," says Ray in a small voice, green and brown eyes glossy and puffy. "You're not breaking up with me?"
"What?!" Egon is flabbergasted by that. He grabs Ray and hugs him to his chest. "No! What? Ray, why would you say that?"
"You were acting weird!" Ray is embarrassed now. He nuzzles into Egon's lab coat with him. "I thought you were mad at me."
"I said I wasn't mad," Egon pets Ray's back, his soft brown hair, that definitely smells like he and Winston smoked on the way home from the job today. Ah well, he was stressed.
"Next time just tell me what's on your mind, okay?" Ray asks, comforted by rubbing his cheek against Egon's soft sweater vest.
"Even if it ruins a surprise?" Egon's dark eyebrows show he's confused. Ray takes a half step back so he can look at him. It's Ray's turn to be comforting.
"I don't like surprises as much as I like you," Ray tells him. There is a rare Spengler blush in response to that. Ray has to kiss him, he's just too cute. Then he asks, "Why is Valentine's Day bothering you so much this year?"
"I wasted the last 14 Valentine's Days, Raymond, not knowing we could have spent them together and I must get this one correct," Egon is hot pink and flustered.
"Oh, Egon," Ray feels quite romantic at his beloved's unexpectedly sentimental notion. "I already do feel special! Every day since we got together is special!"
"Right, but now I'm your boyfriend and boyfriends are supposed to do ritualistic gestures of affection upon special occasions," Egon has read up on dating protocol. He doesn't want to make any mistakes. "As a test of my love for you, I'm supposed to set up a romantic evening and surprise you with gifts and activities you like, without your help. Isn't that how people do it? I've never had a Valentine before."
"I don't know, is it?" Ray asks. They both contemplate Valentine's Day social traditions for a moment, calculating. "What if there's two boyfriends? Am I supposed to do that for you?"
"No, I dislike surprises immensely," Egon frowns again thinking of it. "That is a conundrum."
"I don't think I know what to do for you for Valentine's Day either, Spengs," Ray admits, shagrined. He straightens Egon's clothes from his cuddly rumpling a moment ago.
"What if Venkman's right?" Egon ponders.
"If he is, don't tell him," Ray can only imagine the gloating. "Right about what?"
"He said we could make our own Valentine's Day rules and that we didn't have to do what tradition dictates," Egon answers and Ray considers that.
"Pete gives pretty good advice for someone who doesn't ever take anyone's advice," Ray nods. "So what should we do?"
"Eat dinner. Watch a movie. Have sex. Eat chocolate," Egon suggests hopefully.
"That is what we do every date night," Ray smiles. "I like it."
Egon wraps him in his arms again and kisses just under his ear. Ray shivers.
"Then before dinner, let's go to the crystal shop on 57th and get you that amethyst you wanted the other day," Egon thinks Ray's occult fixation is wonderful but draws the line at magic rocks. However Ray is part raccoon when it comes to shiny things.
"Ooo! Can we?!" Ray has to break the hug to do his excited tipy tapy dance.
"Yes," Egon chuckles his soft, dry laugh that is only for Ray. "I can bring you lunch and flowers at the bookstore. And you can pick the movie after work, even though I predict you will fall asleep an hour into the film as usual."
"Okay, then what about you?" Ray is beaming at Egon again. All feels right in his world, under Ray's sweet gaze.
"I have everything I need," Egon tells him, with full honesty.
"Oh, Spengs," Rays says and it's his turn to get blushy. "Something for the lab, then? Let's go to the Engineering and Machining Supply Depot by the school of technology and you can pick out a treat."
"There was a laser of interest," Egon remembers from the last supply run.
"Mmmm, lasers. Very sexy, Dr. Spengler," Ray says and means.
Egon's handsome face, lightning up as he thinks about getting a new gadget, makes Ray's heart almost burst with love. Cuteness aggression overcomes him and he has to jump on him and chomp Egon's shoulder a little bit to soothe himself. Egon allows it. It happens at least once a day.
"I'm sorry I frightened you, Raymond," Egon tells the top of Ray's head. He wants to be sure Ray feels better. "I love you and I was worried I was going to make you unhappy."
"I love you, too," Ray tells him. "Tell me next time you feel that way, okay?"
"Affirmative," Egon nods.
"We're allowed to do this however we want to from now on?" Ray wants to give them both permission to do things uniquely, to customize social rituals to suit themselves.
"And by 'this', you mean dating and special occasions?" Spengler has to clarify. His long dark lashes and big brown eyes are so dreamy to Ray from this close up.
"Yes," Ray answers, then whispers in his ear, "Want to come upstairs and help me out of my jumpsuit?"
"No, you do not need help," Egon says, taking him literally, head cocked and puzzled, looking him over. "Is your zipper broken? Have you injured a hand?"
Ray giggles at his concerned face, "Egs, I meant, do you want to go upstairs and have sex real quick?"
"Oh, in that case, yes," Egon comes around to that idea with instant enthusiasm, wicked grin breaking over his face.