Taking his wife's words to heart Tyrion never sends the prostitute he once met named Ros and another to his nephews chambers which saved them from the pain they were to receive from him and/or each other if they had gone it took him forever to find out that his own wife's sister had sent Ned Stark's body and head to Winterfell back when she had chopped off his head.... he had heard of a familiar to him looking lad who walked up, spoke with the Hand of the King before him in whispers and chopped off his head then left never to be seen again and that is how he knew it was Lysianassa's sister.... and in place of the head that would have been Ned Stark on the Traitor's Walk in the Red Keep was the head of the Mountain which he found amusing "ok so we have girls dressing as boys and boys looking like girls what is wrong with your family my love!?!" Tyrion hears his wife ask with a playful tone as she answers the door to their chambers he turns with a smile and sees his cousin Lancel scowling at her from the other side of the door he watches as she takes the parcel from his cousin, opens then reads it "apparently your sister wants Father Time back" Lysianassa says Tyrion chuckles as he walks over and gently takes the parcel from her then holding the hand that held the parcel and kissing her fingers as he reads it himself as it sits in his other hand "you know you owe me a massage!" she coos as she looks at him "do I!?!" he asks she nods then says "I gave you one while you spoke with your sister and if you're going to invite your cousin in you can give me one after I serve you both wine.... just not over the chest we'll save that part for later" he smiles "I am here at the Queen Regents behest not to drink wine with the two of you" Lancel says "of course you are!" Lysianassa mocks with a coo in her tone Tyrion smiles then asks his cousin as his wife pours him a drink "if my sister was so concerned for Pycelle I would have thought she'd come herself, instead she sends you what am I to make of that?" Lancel replies as Tyrion waves his hand at the chair near his wife with a smile on his face and she sits down "I don't care what you make of it so long as you release your prisoner immediately" he looks at Lysianassa and says "and what you did to Ser Meryn was wrong! you should be ashamed of yourself!" she asks as Tyrion starts massaging her shoulders "why because I'm a woman and women shouldn't know how to fight!? just because you boys think we're weaker than you doesn't mean that we are, not to mention he used a sword he carries around with him all day one that was specifically made for him I used a sword that was not mine and half my weight as well as unbalanced and I still defeated him if you ask me you boys are weaker and like I said you all need better training and no I will not be training you nor will I call upon the one who taught me to teach you" she looks at her husband and asks "do you think I should feel ashamed!?" Tyrion shakes his head with a smile then asks his cousin "you received these instructions directly from Cersei?" Lysianassa says "it is quite surprising she's not here reprimanding me for my behavior today I thought she liked doing that!" Tyrion chuckles "as I've said several times" Lancel tells Tyrion who says "and you've waited this long to deliver the information?" Lysianassa looks at Lancel and says "I wonder what Jamie will do when he finds out you've been fucking his lover of a sister!" Tyrion hides a chuckle as Lancel gets in her face and growls "how dare you!" Lysianassa replies "I don't dare I just do and you don't frighten me child so back away before you learn just how dangerously frightening I can be!" he backs away with wide fearful eyes "I think that's the smartest thing he's done since I answered the door" Lysianassa says looking at her husband who replies with a smile "indeed" Lysianassa looks at Lancel and asks "do you know why I do what I do!?" Lancel shakes his head "if I can't gain respect I might as well demand fear after all when people fear you they tend to leave you alone, what surprises me though is that my husband has yet felt the burn of what I've done after all seeing that I am his wife you would think someone somewhere would try to get him to teach me better manners or at least demand that he figures out a way to make me behave especially when your lover of a cousin is around" Tyrion fights the urge to burst out laughing especially when she says to his cousin "how does it feel to be a replacement!? she must be truly desperate to fuck a little boy like you!" after a pause she says "you should be grateful I despise what Joffrey either has become or has always been for if I didn't I would walk to his chambers, wake him.... if he's sleeping and in a way to coerce his forgiveness tell him how you reek of his mothers perfume and why I'm sure he would take it as it is meant to be but one might wonder what he would do to you" Lancel covers his mouth with his hand then says as he just about falls into the chair he stands in front of "it's not my fault!" Tyrion asks "did she take you against your will? can you not defend yourself knight?" Lysianassa adds "especially against a woman!" Tyrion smiles as Lancel says "Lord Tywin, when I was named the King's Squire, he told me to obey her in everything" Tyrion asks his cousin while massaging his wife's back "did he tell you to fuck her too?" Lancel shoots out of the chair he was sitting in as he says "I only meant.... I did as I was bid I--" Tyrion says "hated every moment of it is that what you'll have us believe? a high place in Court, a knighthood, my sister's legs spreading open for you at night oh yes, it must have been terrible" Lysianassa looks at her husband and asks "would you like to tell him!?" Tyrion replies "but I thought you were going to attempt to get in his good graces" Lysianassa says with a shrug "there will be other opportunities and you owe him a Nameday gift" he replies "indeed I do.... I shall finish this later my love" he slides his hands own her back then kisses her lips as she says "I look forward to it my love!" Tyrion starts to walk towards the door and Lancel gets down on his knees and begs for "mercy, mercy, my Lord I beg you--" Tyrion who realizes why his wife cleverly changed "gossipers"/"tattletales" for she would never have even pretended to grant him mercy and kept on going he also knew she knows he'll want to use his cousin for his own means.... without bedding him like his sister apparently has been.... turns to face his cousin and says "save it for Joffrey he loves a good grovel" Lysianassa who stood up and followed her husband to the door opens it for him as Lancel says "my Lord it was your sister's bidding the queen I'll leave the city at once, I swear" Tyrion looks at his wife who smiles at him as she shuts the door then he turns his attention to his cousin and says "no I think not" Lancel replies with a surprised confused expression on his face "my Lord?" Tyrion says "you heard me my father told you to obey my sister, obey her stay close to her side, keep her trust pleasure her whenever she requires no one ever need know.... as long as you keep your faith with me I want to know what Cersei is doing where she goes, who she sees, what they talk of, everything and you will tell me" Lysianassa adds "try not to make it too obvious, don't ask too many questions.... unless you do that now anyway for if she is suspicious of you for any reason it will be bad for you and not because of me but because she is the "Queen Regent" and abuses what power she has just as much as her eldest son the "King" does" Lancel says "yes, my Lord and Lady, I will I swear it as you command" he lowers his head and Tyrion claps three times then says as he taps his cousins arms "oh rise, rise!" he walks over to where he left his goblet and says "let us drink to our understanding" Lysianassa opens the door once more as Tyrion looks around and says "oh, you don't have a cup, oh well" Lancel walks past Tyrion and out the door bowing to Lysianassa as he passes her she smiles a small smile in reply as Tyrion says to his departing figure "smile, cousin my sister is a beautiful woman and it's all for the good of the Realm go back and tell her that I beg her forgiveness, that I want no more conflict between us and that henceforth, I shall do nothing without her consent" Lancel who stopped walking when he heard Tyrion speak says "but her demands?" Tyrion replies "oh, I'll give her Pycelle, as for making my wife behave herself that is harder than it sounds.... oh wait she didn't demand that!" Lancel smiles "he'll be out by morning" Lysianassa tells Lancel who bows to her perhaps because that is what he was taught to do to a lady.... though she would never claim to be one nor does she act like one.... "Cersei can keep him as a pet if she wants but I will not have him on the Council I could swear that I had not harmed a single hair on his head, but that would strictly speaking not be true" Tyrion adds as he cups the door his wife still holds and closes it once it's closed he looks at his wife and sees the worried expression on her face then asks "what is it!? is it because of what I said about Pycelle!?" she replies "not really, I'm wondering if it's wise to have him spy on the woman he's fucking he's being pulled by so many Lannister strings that it may confuse him yours, your fathers, your sisters and who knows who elses I don't want to be the cause of any more death especially a innocent one like that, and yes he is innocent, I'm sure that before she started fucking him he was a virgin and quite possibly has no idea what real true love feels like only the fake love he receives from your familial prostitute of a sister who has a thing for those with fair hair perhaps she likes to pretend she's fucking herself when she has boys like that I'm sure his long hair helps her with said fantasy if she does" he smiles at her ending words then he asks "shall we finish your massage!?" she replies with a smile "I would like that very much" he waves his hand at her chair and she sits down then he climbs onto her lap and kisses her lips as he removes her shirt and massages her chest making her moan softly which makes him smile he was not going to make love to her this night but that doesn't mean he didn't want to feel the softness of her bare skin....
"This is a adorable tent! how come you have never invited me into it!?!" Tyrion hears Lysianassa coo softly as she sneaks into his carriage a few seconds after his cousin Lancel leaves it he starts to open his mouth to answer but doesn't get a chance as her lips meet his and she begins to strip him of his clothes with a smile on her face "you would do this here!?!" he asks between kisses "are you saying no to me!?!" she asks "never! but Bronn....!" he replies "won't get paid if he watches! and he will kill the other guards that are with him if they try to peek in!.... won't you Bronn!?" she says as she slides his phallus into her vulva "yes my lady" Bronn who was standing outside the carriage like tent replies with a smile in his tone.... and quite possibly on his face.... Tyrion moans as Lysianassa gently thrusts him even further inside her moving her hips in all the right ways to help with the rhythm of those thrusts to help send him over the edge of ecstasy "it would be more fun if they carried us in your tent while we do this" she whispers into her husbands ear Tyrion chuckles and they make love to one another in his "tent" which he thoroughly enjoys once they are spent they get redressed for he had stripped her of her clothes as well when he heard she didn't care that Bronn was close enough to watch them make love through the holes in the top of his "tent".... though he was sure Bronn was used to hearing it so that didn't matter.... once they were redressed they along with Bronn walk through the city side by side Lysianassa's hand in Tyrion's and when they pass by a man selling apples Lysianassa buys the ones he holds in his hands giving him a few extra coins than what he asked for "for Svaðilfari and Eimyrja" she says when she sees her husband look at her Tyrion smiles as she checks the apples to see just how fresh they truly were then places the apples in the bag she carries with her at all times just in case she'd need it she also pays the man next to the fruit seller for what the boy who ran away from his area had stole giving him a few extra coins as well and the man bows in thanks to her as they pass him a smiling.... mainly do to the fact his wife's actions and how she keeps stopping and sneaks a coin or two to the children that surround them.... Tyrion says to Bronn as they walk "Stannis has more infantry, more ships, more horses what do we have?" Bronn replies "there's that mind of yours you keep going on about" Tyrion says "well, I've never actually been able to kill people with it" Bronn replies "good thing I'd be out of a job" Lysianassa chuckles softly "what about your father?" Bronn asks "he hasn't sent a raven in weeks he's very busy being repeatedly humiliated by Robb Stark is time consuming we won't be able to hold the city against Stannis, not the way Joffrey's planning on holding it" Tyrion replies they hear a man say "corruption!" and a crowd around the man shout "yes!" Lysianassa whispers "this can't be good!" as the protestor says "we are swollen, bloated, foul brother fornicates with sister in the bed of kings, and we're surprised when the fruit of their incest is rotten?" the crowd cheers "yes, a rotten king!" the protestor says "it's hard to argue with his assessment the king is a lost cause it's the rest of us I'm worried about now" Tyrion says Lysianassa squeezes his hand gently he looks at her and smiles then lifts her hand up to his lips and kisses the back of it as the protester says "dancing king, prancing down his bloodstained halls to the tune of a twisted demon monkey!" the crowd laughs Lysianassa looks at her husband and says softly "your sister is a demonic monkey!?! and I didn't know your nephew could dance!" he chuckles then replies "you have to admire his imagination" Bronn tells him "he's talking about you" Lysianassa frowns Tyrion squeezes her hand as Bronn says "people think you're pulling the king's strings despite what your wife tries to do for it the people blame you for the city's ills" Lysianassa looks at her husband and says softly "they do not see you that often and you have yet to try and get to know them so they get to know you they don't realize your nephew doesn't listen to anyone not even his mother.... unless she says something he wants to hear.... it is times like these I wish what little I try to do does serve you but it seems it doesn't and for that I apologize" he kisses the back of her hand and replies softly "you don't need to apologize for that and you're right I should have gotten to know the people like they know you" she rubs her nose up against his and coos "you're a very handsome demon monkey!" he smiles then kisses her lips and they all continue on their way grateful they were not noticed by the protestors for that would have been so much worse....
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Lysithea, Vetr (her white stallion if you recall) Fenix and Ghost walk over to where Jon and Jeor are as Sam says "beautiful, isn't it? Gilly would love it here" and Tollett says to Grenn "there's nothing more sickening than a man in love" she chuckles hearing her chuckle Jon turns and looks at her and she taps the back of his hand with hers making him smile they were headed to a place known as Fist of the First Men to meet someone that is called Qhorin Halfhand they walk next to each other all the way to the landmark then part once more as Lysithea goes to help the others set up camp and Jon stands watching and waiting for Halfhand to come....
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Lysianassa stands by Bronn as Tyrion holds a vial full of green liquid and the Head of the King's Landing Alchemists' Guild Hallyne says with a tone of caution "take care, my Lord" Tyrion says "I remember reading and old sailors proverb, "piss on Wildfire and your cock burns off".." Lysianassa whispers to Bronn "he better hope that never happens to him he'd never have any fun if it did!" Bronn chuckles Tyrion smiles Hallyne looks at her "he likes pissing on things, well off of things like Walls" she tells the elder man Tyrion laughs Hallyne smiles then says "I have not conducted this experiment it could well be true the substance burns so hot, it melts wood, stone, even steel, and, of course flesh the substance burns so hot, that it melts flesh like tallow" Tyrion hands the vial to Hallyne who takes it from him carefully and he says as he goes to put it away "after the dragons died, Wildfire was the key to the Targaryen power" Bronn lets out a short scoff like chuckle and Tyrion says as the elder man walks back over to them "my companion takes issue" Bronn says "if I could tell you how many crazy old men I've seen pushing carts around army camps, making grand claims about jars full of pig shit no offense meant" Hallyne replies "our order does not deal in pig shit" Lysianassa chuckles then says with a smile "sorry!" Hallyne smiles at her then says "the substance is fire given form, and we have been perfecting it since the days of Meagor" Bronn asks "to do what?" Hallyne replies "the jars are put in catapults and flung at the enemy" Tyrion asks "how much do you have?" Hallyne starts heading to go look at his records and/or show him how much he has and Bronn says to Tyrion as he, Tyrion and Lysianassa follow him "if you could get real soldiers to man the catapults, then maybe you'd hit a target one time in 10 but all the real soldiers are in the Riverlands with your father" Hallyne says as he opens a door and they walk into the corridor on the other side of it "my Lord, this man is insulting" Bronn replies "I don't know if you've ever seen a battle, old man, but things can get a bit messy 'cause when we're flinging things at Stannis, he's flinging them right back at us men die, men shit themselves, men run which means pots falling which means fire inside the walls which means the poor cunts trying to defend the city end up burning it down" Tyrion says to Hallyne who was unlocking the vault door he now stands in front of "my friend remains unconvinced" Hallyne replies "he would not dare insult my order whilst Aerys Targaryen lived" Lysianassa whispers through her teeth "oh yes he would!" Tyrion and Bronn smile "well, he's not living anymore and all his pots of Wildfire didn't help him, did they? men win wars, not magic tricks" Bronn says to Hallyne who finally got the vault open Lysianassa grips Tyrion's hand when she sees all the canisters inside the vault he looks at her and forces a smile then lets go of her hand and walks toward the vault to get a better view of how much is actually in it "we have been working tirelessly, day and night, ever since your royal sister commanded us to do so our present count stands at 7,811 enough to burn Stannis Baratheon's fleet and army's both" Lysianassa walks over to her husband and hugs him and he sinks into her embrace as Bronn says "this is a shit idea" Tyrion says "I'm afraid I have to concur with my advisor, Wisdom Hallyne the contents of this room could lay King's Landing low you won't be making Wildfire for my sister any longer" he takes his wife's hand in his as he turns to face the elder man and says "you'll be making it for me" he looks at his wife who's eyes hold a sadness he wished he could cure then he turns his attention back to the contents of the vault they now stand in "could we at least find a safer place to put it!?!" he hears his wife whisper "and where would that be my love!?" he asks softly "not under the city, if someone were to find it or something were to happen outside this place where no one but a select few knows it exists it would be a catastrophe and these poor people truly would have died for nothing and a death without purpose is not a death worth dying" she replies softly and now he truly wishes he had the power to comfort her for he knows she speaks the truth