I was in awe as I watched him sing energetically in the center of the stage. Napanood ko naman siya noon pero hindi ganito, his opening act was hyping the people up and I didn’t know that he is good at dancing.
Hinawakan ko si Brianna sa kamay habang panay ang talon at sumasabay sa pagkanta ni Pierce. Andra will make a special appearance too but I don’t know when.
The screams and chants were so loud, it almost overpowering him. And it just makes me realize how big he is as an artist. He came from a huge family, a very influential one and he is not just an artist himself, he is beyond that.
Hindi ko mapigilan na mapangiti ng mapait, I am sure he will still do good even without me. Sino ba naman ako sa buhay niya…he has so many options…pipili lang siya…siguro ay balewala lang ako sa kanya sa huli. He will move on fast, and who knows what he truly feels…makakahanap rin siya ng iba, I am sure of it.
At magiging masaya ako kung mangyayari iyon. He deserves all of it anyways.
Hindi ko na natanggal ng tingin ko sa kanya. And he has this charisma on him that just makes you watch him fully, without missing any seconds. And with his millions of fans, I am sure they feel the same way.
He did not just play the piano, drums and electric guitar, but he also knew how to use the violin which made me more amazed. And he enjoys every second of it, you could see in him that this is really his passion.
Andra did join him in one song, it was a ballad song. She is wearing a very expensive looking gown while Pierce wore a white shirt with black coat.
Their voices were so good together, and they blended so well. The whole crowd was silent and all we could hear was their emotions on how they delivered the song. It was magical. At hindi ko na rin masisisi kung meron bang namamagitan sa kanila, cause they just look so good together on stage.
Hindi ko alam kung meron rin bang nasasabi ang mga fans nila sa isa't-isa pero siguradong meron. Their chemistry on stage is on fire.
Their song ended and they met on stage and hugged each other. Doon na naghiyawan muli ang mga tao kaya napaiwas na lang ako ng tingin. Well, they looked good together just like what I said and the people knew of it too.
They are both in the music industry and they had several projects before. Bagay na bagay sila.
He went back to the center of stage after playing the solo electric guitar. He waved his hands and the platform that he was standing on slowly dissappeard. We only waited for a few minutes and now he is back with his usual white long sleeves rolled to his arms and his jeans. May hawak siyang acoustic guitar at meron ring mic stand sa harap niya.
He smiled and the whole crowd chanted his name again. Pakiramdam ko ay magigiba ang arena sa lakas ng sigawan nila.
“This next song is the newest single, not yet out on the platforms 'cause I wanted to perform it here personally first.”
Naghiyawan muli ang crowd sa sinabi niya at kaagad kong tinakpan ang tenga ni Brianna pero tinanggal niya rin ito.
He smiled more widely, and he just have this very mesmerising smile as well, hindi ko alam kung bakit ko lang ngayon to napapansin. His smile is contagious and it just looks so light. It suits his image so well.
“This song…is for someone special, dahil sa kanya nabuo ko ang kantang ito.”
I was looking at him and so when he looked at our direction, our eyes instantly met. Nagtagal ang tingin niya sa akin kaya naman naghiyawan ulit ang mga nasa paligid ko.
“I’m in love…and I really got it bad.” Umling siya sa sarili niya.
At sa mga salita niya, ramdam ko ang pagtayo ng balahibo ko. I got colds on my feet and suddenly I felt light headed, pero hindi pa rin natanggal ang tingin ko sa kanya.
“This song is for you...and remember this, hindi na kita papakawalan.”
The crowd cheered again and Brianna started tugging my shirt repeatedly. I shushed her away but she had this teasing smile on her face. Ramdam ko na rin ang tingin ng mga nakapaligid sa akin lalo na at alam kung kumalat na ang pagpunta ni Pierce sa akin kanina. Mabuti na lang talaga at naisipan kong magsuot ng sombrero.
The crowd went silent, and Pierce started strumming his guitar. I remember him asking me ‘what love is’ for his lyrics...and this would be the first time I'll be hearing it too.
‘I'm sorry, but I won't be happy when you let go of me.
I'll be miserable if you move on from me
I won't be happy if you will be happy with someone else new
I felt what true love is, and it was only you.’
I smile bitterly at his lyrics. Because it was the complete opposite of what I said to him. I defined love as being happy even if the person you love is already in another relationship. Because his happiness is your happiness too, kung saan siya masaya ay doon ka rin sasaya.
Yet, his lyrics say otherwise. Just the complete opposite of mine.
My eyes were glued on him his whole performance as he kept on looking at our direction too. It is clear that he made a song for me...pero hindi na magbabago ang desisyon ko.
I bit my lips and wiped away the forming tears in my eyes. I don't really deserve him...not an inch of him...I don't deserve all of this...all the attention he gave me...not a damn thing.
Muli akong tumingin sa kanya at kitang-kita ko ang pagbabago ng ekspresyon niya sa mukha. He looked so worried while singing and looking at me. I forced a smile but then I remember that he hates it so much, he can spot my forced smile so easily.
Kaya naman pinatili ko na lang ang mata ko sa kanya hanggang sa tuluyan siyang natapos. The crowd cheered loudly after and saw some of them crying from his performance.
Well, I cried too...and he really knows how to deliver his songs.
His concert ended after two more songs and the crowd really cried after that. Pati si Brianna ay naluluha at gusto pang mag request ng kanta pero hindi naman pwede iyon. I shook my head as I felt my chest getting heavier with each passing second.
Tumingin ako sa orasan ko at nakitang malapit ng mag alaa dose. And I have to be at the airport by 5 in the morning.
I still have at least four hours to be with him...apat na oras na lang...apat na oras para iparamdam ko sa kanya ang tunay kong naramdaman, para masuklian ko ang kabutihan niya sa akin...apat na oras...but fuck, that's too short for me.
Hindi naman kami natagalan sa paglabas dahil maraming exit pero pakiramdam ko hinahabol na ako ng oras.
We went out and I called Kuya Rene right away. He told me his location at siya na ang mag uuwi kay Brianna.
"Ate, pupuntahan mo naman ako bukas diba bago ka pumunta ng airport?" She hopefully asked. "Gigising po ako ng maaga to say my goodbye."
I patted her head and smiled at her forcely. "Oo naman, pupuntahan ka ni Ate."
She smiled at me. "Bukas na lang ako iiyak kapag nag goodbye ka na. Enjoy your time with Kuya Pierce, Ate. Baka mas malulungkot pa siya na wala ka na kaysa sa akin." She giggled and entered the car right away.
I watched their car disappear from my sight. At nang tuluyan na silang nakaalis ay hindi ko na ulit mapigilan na mapaluha, I swiftly wipe away my tears and looked inside the arena.
Humigpit ang kapit ko sa bag ko at hinanap ang cellphone ko. He might be very exhausted right now, and I’m sure that there is an after party for his staff and friends. Pero susubukan ko pa rin.
I dialled his phone and waited for him to pick it up but he did not answer. Sinubukan ko ulit sa pangalawang pagkakataon at wala pa rin. He might be resting, o kaya ay may mga kaibigan pa siya na bumisita sa dressing room niya.
Naglakas loob akong pumasok ulit sa loob at tinunton ang backstage. May security na nakaharang at ang mga staff lang ang pwedeng pumasok pero kailangan ko pa ring subukan.
I stopped in front of the female guard and she quickly scanned me from head to toe.
Ngumiti ako. “Pwede ko po bang makausap si Pierce?”
“Kayo po yung girlfriend? Pwede po.” She smiled at me and gave me space to get in.
Alanganin akong ngumiti. “S-salamat po.”
I got in and saw the staff wrapping everything up. The guard might have seen what Pierce did and I am sure that the news is already all over.
Napalunok ako ng malalim at hindi ko maiwasang kabahan habang hinahanap kung may makikilala ba ako dito. And just on the corner, I saw Sir Bruno talking with staffs and I quickly walked towards their direction.
Pero hindi pa ako nakakahalati ng mapansin ko sa kaliwang banda ko ang sunod-sunod na flash ng camera. I stopped walking when I saw two familiar faces having an interview in front of the media.
Andra and Pierce were both smiling as they were both being interviewed. They look so good together…that’s the conclusion that I have as I both looked at them. They were engaged in their conversation as if they were the only two people in this crowd.
The interviewers were all smiling and some of them were even giggling as they watched the two stars in front of them. Bagay na bagay talaga sila.
I swallowed hard and avoided my gazed on them Tumalikod ako at kaagad ng hinanap ang exit. Muling bumigat ang nararamdaman ko, and this time I knew what I was feeling. It was very clear…the pain was piercing through me and I could barely catch my breath.
Humanap ako ng pwede kong masandalan at nang may nahanap ako ay kaagad akong sumandal dito. I opened my phone once again and composed a message for him.
My hands were shaking quite a bit as I did it.
Ako:
Congrats! I know you are tired but I will be waiting at your unit. Gusto kitang makita.
I hit the send button and looked at their direction once more. Huminga ako ng malalim at tuluyan ng umalis. I needed to set aside the pain that I was feeling for now, gusto ko lang siyang makasama at makita.
My thoughts were all over as I drove to his building. May access pa naman ako sa elevator niya at sa floor number niya pero hindi ang unit niya.
I parked my car properly and opened my phone again if there’s any message from him but there was still none.
Sumandal ako sa upuan ko at pumikit ng mariin. I feel so exhausted already but my night is still not over, and I need to be at the airport early in the morning.
I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel when I saw a familiar car approaching. Kaagad akong napaupo ng maayos at muling napatingin sa cellphone ko pero wala pa rin siyang message.
My brows furrowed as I looked at the plate number and I’m sure it was Pierce.
Pero wala pa siyang reply sa akin, he barely misses my calls and texts, at kung nandito na siya ay sigurado akong nabuksan na niya ang cellphone niya.
I waited for someone to get out and saw two of his bodyguard getting out. Naghanda na akong bumaba pero napatigil ako sa pagbubukas ng kotse ko ng makita kong sumunod na bumaba si Andra at Pierce.
My movement halted as I looked at them and I wasn’t wrong, hawak ni Pierce and cellphone niya habang nakakunot noo na nakatitig sa screen nito. I grabbed my phone again and looked at it but still had no response from him.
My hands started shaking again when I looked at them and saw Andra started talking to him closely. And I completely dropped my cell phone off when I saw her kiss his lips like it was nothing. Hindi nagprotesta si Pierce. He let her do it.
May bumukol sa lalamunan ko at ramdam ko ulit ang lalong pamimigat ng dibdib ko sa nakita. I clutched my shirt where the pain is and started feeling the abnormal rhythm of my heart. Nasasaktan ako sa nakikita.
Namuo ang luha ko sa mga mata habang patuloy silang tinitingnan na magkalapit. And when they finally separated, nagpatuloy pa rin ang nararamdaman ko. Sobrang sakit pa rin ng dibdib ko.