"now there's no more screaming,
i'm silencing the demons.
your eyes let me know,
like footsteps home,
i will follow, follow you."
- I Will Follow, Dotan
☾
"GRC this week have announced changes in their overall policies of repatriation and resettlement." the news presenter reads, her voice travelling from the tv throughout my small apartment.
I look up from my laptop at Bucky. He stands in front of the open dishwasher, plates in hand, eyes on the tv screen. Until he looks at me and we smile at each other.
More good news.
It's been nearly three weeks since Sam, Bucky and John Walker stopped Karli and the Flagsmashers. And a busy few weeks it's been.
The days following the event, Bucky and Sam had to go through a lot of formalities. Paperwork, debriefings, interviews. Sam has since then been officially appointed the title of Captain America. The Flagsmashers are in custody, Zemo is locked away once again, and just yesterday, Bucky and I went with Sam to the Smithsonian, to support him when he unveiled the newest exhibit; a statue of Isiah Bradley. So the whole world will know what he did for his country and his loved ones. It was a beautiful and emotional moment to witness, between Sam and Mr. Bradley and his family.
Everything is changing for the better.
"This calls for a celebratory ice-cream, don't you think?" Bucky suggests, unloading the last of the clean dishes.
"Absolutely, it does." I agree matter of factly.
I close my laptop, keen for any excuse to ditch my work.
I follow Bucky to the bedroom and he grabs our coats from the closet.
My favourite recent change; Bucky moved in.
The easiest moving day I've ever seen. Pretty much the only thing he had to lug was a suitcase of clothes. And even then, it was a small suitcase. That and his salt lamp and peace lily. Bucky was ecstatic when his plant bloomed its first flower the day after he moved in. We decided to take it as a good omen.
He and I stroll out into the night on our little spontaneous ice cream date. Once we get our cones, we decide to eat them on our way back home rather than stay out.
And during our walk home, Sam rings Bucky to invite us to Sarah's for the weekend. To wind down after a hectic few weeks, and to celebrate all of our successes. And he's even so kind as to extend the invitation to Dafne and my friends.
Bucky covers my mouth with his hand before I can say anything to Sam about his upcoming birthday. I'd lick him if he wasn't wearing gloves.
When I finally manage to free my mouth, Bucky hangs up.
"Hey.." I pout.
"That information is strictly on a need to know basis. It's bad enough that you know." Bucky groans.
"Oh, come on. It's a special day-"
"To you, maybe."
"Yes. To me." I state. "It's a day to celebrate you. Of course it's special to me. It's all about you, for that whole day." I grab him and reach up to rub his nose with my own. "Don't you want to have my undivided love and attention?" I ask, my tone turning sultry, my lips lightly grazing across his. "Your every wish to be my command?"
"Well.. when you put it that way.." he purrs, before pressing his lips to mine.
Then we resume eating our ice-creams before they melt all over our hands.
"It's so nice of Sam and Sarah to have us all over for the weekend. I'm excited!" I exclaim. "Apart from yesterday, I haven't seen much of Sam. I miss him."
"Don't worry, you'll see him plenty when you start your new job next week." Bucky reminds me.
As of next week, I'll be a part time therapist. Only continuing sessions with my long term clients. However, I did make one exception for a new client. John Walker. He's taken over Bucky's Monday morning slot. We've only had two sessions, but so far so good.
And I am very much looking forward to starting my second job. I'll be consulting with Team Cap, working with Sam and Bucky behind the scenes.
Last week, Sam and his colleague Torres, consulted with me over their latest mission. I proved useful, so Sam decided he wanted to make it official. I'll be consulting as an analyst of targets, studying client behaviours and mental states, working on and identifying human terrain mapping and behaviour pattern recognition. It's going to be a very interesting position to partake in. I can't wait.
Bucky's just happy that I'm happy. And that I'm helping behind the scenes, rather than on the field. Even if he's gladly been giving me more self defence lessons. He's the best teacher, taking his lessons very seriously, only for each one to end in sex.
Ice creams now gone, we continue down the street, hand in hand.
"Theo's gonna lose his mind." I comment and we both laugh at the thought.
☾
Theo, indeed, loses his mind.
Like a child going to Disneyland, he can barely sit still in his seat during our flight, doing a bang up job of containing his excitement.
But when we're in the Uber, he falls silent, nerves getting the better of him.
"Sam is just a person, honey." Jules reminds him gently.
"He's Captain America, Jules." Theo scoffs.
"Who's still a person." Jules counters.
"If you can talk to Bucky, you can talk to Sam. He's the most friendly, easy going person I've ever met." I chime in.
"Gee, thanks." Bucky mutters, making us all laugh.
"Oh, because you were such a ray of sunshine when we met." I tease. I reach up and comb my fingers through his hair. "You know you're my Prince Charming." I tell him, before kissing his cheek.
Once we arrive, we pile out of our Uber Max, dragging our luggage with us.
As we get closer to the house, AJ and Cass come running outside, racing up to play fight with Bucky before giving me big hugs.
The boys latch onto Bucky's metal arm and he carries them back to the house, while carrying our bag in his other hand.
One glance at Theo, and I can tell he wants a turn.
Sarah and Sam come out and greet us at the porch steps, and I introduce my family, saving Theo for last.
"And this is Theo." I say. He stares at Sam with wide eyes. "Very big admirer." I add in a loud whisper.
"How's it goin', man?" Sam smiles, going in for a handshake.
Theo's brain lags for a few seconds, before he smiles. "It's an honour, Mr. Wilson- I mean Mr. America- I mean-"
"Sam is fine." he chuckles, before clapping Theo on the back. "Come on in y'all."
☾
I toss and turn, unable to let myself fall into a deep sleep.
We enjoyed a nice relaxing day together, spent mostly outside. While relaxing, it was also busy, and I am tired. But I won't sleep just yet.
Upstairs, AJ graciously gave up his room for Theo and Jules to use, while he shares with Cass.
Bucky and I share the pullout lounge, like we did last time we were here, while Daf and Dan join us in the lounge room, sleeping on mattresses on the floor.
While my sister and her boyfriend sleep soundly nearby, I take another quick peak at my phone.
Sunday 10 March
12:00am
I tuck my phone away and roll over, gently snuggling up to Bucky, who's yet to drift into deep sleep.
"Bucky." I softly whisper close to his ear.
"Hmm.." he hums groggily.
I only feel slightly bad for disturbing him. He can go right back to sleep in a minute.
"Happy Birthday." I whisper so softly it's barely audible. In the little bit of moonlight spilling into the room, I can see a big smile form on his face.
I lean in to give him a quick kiss, but his lips are so inviting, it ends up turning deep, and I start to wish we booked a hotel instead of staying here. Which reminds me that my sister is sleeping five feet away.
I break our passionate kiss and hug myself to him. He wraps me in his arms, pulling me as close as physically possible.
"Thank you, doll." he breathes, and I finally allow sleep to take me.
☾
Sunday evening rolls around and we've had a wonderful weekend.
After an afternoon of fishing, we all sit around a fire pit in Sarah's backyard, eating our fish fry dinner.
Bucky's looking handsome as ever in a navy blue long sleeve shirt, that sets off the bright blue of his eyes beautifully. He's been very happy and content all weekend. I love it. He really has found his peace.
When dinner's done, we join AJ and Cass in roasting marshmallows on the fire.
Theo gets his turn testing Bucky's strength, making us all double over with laughter at the sight.
I duck inside to grab dessert; Bucky's birthday cake I baked earlier today, while he was fishing.
I return to the group, chocolate cake in hand, and Bucky is the first to notice me. I watch surprise, amusement and apprehension simultaneously wash over his features. I can't help but giggle at him.
I light the singular candle protruding from the chocolate peanut butter frosting. "Happy Birthday, Bucky!" I announce loudly, grabbing everyone's attention.
Bucky's eyes dart around the group and he smiles shyly, then watches me make my way to him.
"I know you didn't want anyone knowing, but it's just us. And it's just cake." I tell him, coming to a stop in front of his chair. "You deserve to be celebrated."
He looks up at me with a warm smile.
I hand Bucky his cake and take my seat beside him. He goes a little rigid, like I've handed him a bomb, not a cake.
"Make a wish." I tell him with an encouraging smile.
He stares at me a moment longer before turning to his cake and blowing out his candle. Everyone claps and cheers, wishing him a happy birthday.
"Who wants cake?" I ask and they all cheer again.
I take the chocolatey dessert from Bucky, and Sarah helps me cut it and divvy it up.
"Speech." Sam hollers, giving Bucky a playful shove.
Bucky sends him a look of protest.
"Oh, I want to say something." I say, placing my plate of cake on my chair, swapping it for my bottle of beer as I stand up.
I clear my throat and fix my gaze upon my birthday boy.
"I want to thank you, Bucky. For everything." I start. "Thank you for waking me up, for helping me find myself. You've shown me how to live, and live fully. Thank you for being the sexiest lover," I comment lovingly, earning an approving cheer from Dafne, while Bucky tongues his cheek. "And a wonderful friend." I continue. "I have never felt more loved or more safe than I have with you." There's no stopping the tears that form in my eyes as I pour my heart out to my love. "Most of all, thank you for putting your faith in me, to work together on your healing journey. Healing you has healed me. You have brought me back to life, and I am forever grateful for you. Because of you, I see just how beautiful the world can be. And how beautiful we can make it. Together." I raise my beer into the air. "I love you. Happy Birthday."
Everyone raises their drinks in a toast to Bucky.
His eyes are fixed on me as he puts his plate on my chair next to mine. Then in one fluid motion, he stands up, cups my face with both hands and crashes his lips to mine.
I'm instantly lost in him until someone wolf whistles. The sound makes me giggle against Bucky's lips and as he pulls back, I'm flushed.
"I love you." he tells me, gazing intently into my eyes until he pulls me into the warmest hug.
Bucky sits back down in his chair, pulling me into his lap. He reaches around me, grabbing our plates of cake off my chair.
"Thank you." he says warmly, as we dig into the dessert. His smile is bashful, but his eyes are heated. "You truly are the best thing to ever happen to me." he says, before capturing my lips with his again.
He presses his forehead against mine for a moment, and I reach a hand up to softly stroke his beautiful face. We smile at each other before getting back to our food.
"So, what did you wish for?" I ask him before popping a forkful of cake in my mouth.
"I can't tell you that, it won't come true." he teases softly. And then he sighs. "But it won't be coming true anyway, so I guess I'll tell you." he adds, making me laugh.
"What is it?" I chuckle.
He leans in close and drops his voice low. "I wished that everyone here were somewhere else, so I can ravage you instead of this cake."
I nearly choke on my cake.
I stare at him for a moment, lips parted in surprise, until I remember to keep chewing. He just watches me with amusement.
I swallow my food and drop my voice to match his sultry tone. "Don't worry, Buck. You can have your cake and eat it, too." I reply with a wink.
He smirks and nuzzles into my neck.
"Let's make this a party." Theo states, running inside to retrieve his portable speaker.
I feed Bucky a bite of cake, and it leaves some frosting behind in his lips. Before he can lick it off, I lean in and kiss him. He hums at the flavoursome lip lock.
I smile at him and he drops his gaze down to my plate. He swipes some frosting with his finger and wipes it onto my neck, just under my jawline. Then he dips his head cleans up the mess with his tongue. Butterflies flutter in my stomach at the unexpected and hot act.
"Get a room." Dafne groans, reminding me that Bucky and I are not alone.
With an embarrassed giggle, I drop my head onto Bucky's shoulder.
"Not in this house." Sam remarks and I feel Bucky's stomach rumble with laughter beneath me.
Theo comes running back out and puts on his party playlist, getting everyone up out of their seats.
We all start dancing around the fire to No Lie by Sean Paul and Dua Lipa, laughing, drinking, having the time of our lives.
I look around at my extended family. At these beautiful people I'm so lucky to have in my life. I have so much love for them. We've all been through so much to get here. And here, is pretty gosh darn perfect.
I save the best until last, fixing my gaze upon Bucky, looking up into those steel blue eyes that let me know where home is. The bright blue that's become my safe space.
I smile at Bucky, more than ready to walk into the future by his side. And I can't wait to see the future this beautiful White Wolf makes for himself.
Wolf Like Me
by Kuekuatsu_