Brave Aviana, she was a stranger, or maybe a good twin, but
she wasn't the Aviana who took her mother's wallet and hid it -
she wasn't the Aviana who threw the car keys in the trash -
she wasn't the Aviana who pretended to be constipated so that
they left late; it was all a plot to avoid her third round of treatment;
One morning, after Aviana said she was feeling too sick to move,
and then refused to get out of bed because it hurt, it was as if
a light switched on in her parents' minds that she is being defiant;
There was anger and yelling, followed by crying and apologizing -
never from their little bird - Aviana was once again not asked
whether or not she wanted to continue her treatment; plus, now,
another surgery was to be performed to remove bigger and newer
tumors in her body, which would result in a three week stay right
smack dab in the middle of summer; while she would be in the
hospital, her sisters would be at overnight camps with friends -
Aviana resented them for their freedom, and she was to the point
where she would rather know she would die than die trying to fight it;
Cancer was stealing every last thing from Aviana - from her
entire family: relationships, time, money, memories, time, joy...
time... so much time... Where there were laughs is now
resentment; where there was softness there's callousness;
where there was trust now festered with spite; Aviana's parents
fought constantly about who would deal with what in the constant
barrage of appointments and reminders for medications and
trips for treatments and telemedicine follow-up calls; they just -
don't have the energy for it anymore, and they don't hide their
distaste for the toll it is taking on them as individuals; which is
why Aviana wanted to stop going to the doctors and getting
poked and taking medicine and all of it - Aviana just wanted it
to stop taking every last thing that she ever loved away from her!
It wasn't fair! Her parents were miserable, her sisters were
moving on in their lives without her, and she was stuck in a
foreign body that was both hers and not, living a nightmare that
never ends; Aviana still didn't know the truth of her diagnosis, and
prognosis was not a word she knew yet, but she didn't want to watch
her family be destroyed by the cancer only for it to outlive her;
Aviana wanted them to live happily again, even if that's the last
thing she would ever do in her life - it would be worth it.