When her mother or her father would change her diaper, Riley would look for ways to make that moment unique and always different from the previous one. Once, she put both hands in front of her nether regions and made numerous fusses at her father to prevent him from tying her new diaper; it took her almost half an hour to tie it.
Arriving in the room, Riley lowered her jeans with automatic movements and waited for her mother to put her on the changing table. A ladder to climb on could save energy and time, the little girl suddenly thought.
Helen laid her down and began ripping off the ribbons with her usual loving, detail-oriented manner. Unlike Greg, she, to play, was in no mood for it. She had to clean and dress her; there was no time for fun. The only thing the little girl could do was talk, but at that moment the urge to do so was below zero. She turned her thoughtful gaze toward the empty orange wall to her left.
"When you're quiet, it means something's wrong," began Helen cozily as she gave her a wipe with the front of her soiled diaper. "Tell me everything."
Riley sighed conflictedly, then asked that question, "Why does everything have to get difficult?"
"Everything in which sense?" she asked not understanding, then told her, "Butt up."
Riley waited for her mother to remove her soiled diaper before answering. Without realizing it, the clean diaper made contact with her skin.
"Homework," she said despondently. "I feel like a complete nothing."
Helen took two wipes, wiped the little girl's pelvic area with one and her bottom with the other. She spoke in a motivated and firm voice, never losing the softness that characterized her voice, "It's normal, when it happens is the time when you have to react. Besides, you can ask us for help."
"Not always though," replied Riley bitterly. "I don't know how to react. You make it easy, but it's not easy at all!"
"If it were easy, you would never grow up," Helen slathered her with anti-irritation cream. "When you think you can't do it, just stop and distract yourself so you're sure you'll jump out of it," she said.
"I know it's not easy. In your case, now it's more... important than ever not to lose the confidence you have in yourself," she paused for a moment to close her clean diaper, then continued, "I know you'll make it, Riley. Doesn't the book result come out for you? Just ignore it, the important thing is that you tried."
Tears were beginning to form; the little girl was almost crying. Before diapers, she didn't have a problem with all this; she was a lonely little girl who always made it through the first time. This gave her pause.
Helen sat her down and looked her straight in the eye, as she had a few weeks before. Yes, she felt like she was reliving that very day. She spoke to her softly, "It is normal to be afraid of not succeeding, the important thing, as I told you before, is to try." She gave her a kiss on the forehead. She resumed speaking, "Falling is about getting back up. Remember that book you told me about?"
Riley pulled up her nose. "The one about the little robot boy?"
"Did he give up when he encountered a difficulty?"
"No," Riley replied suspiciously. "H-he got up and overcame it. But doing homework is not like saving a galaxy, Mom!"
"Exactly."
"Huh?"
Helen smiled and gave her an encouraging look.
"So, I shouldn't give up?"
Helen hugged her. "Will you give up?"
Riley did not answer right away, each sweet word from her mother was like a beam of light in the darkness. Everything was clearer to her now: "No, I don't think so!".
Her mother put her down from the changing table and watched her get dressed, commented, "That's the Riley I know!"
Riley smiled at her and hugged her again. She said to her, "Thank you, Mom. Now I'm going to go finish my homework. I don't want to leave anything unfinished! ". And she disappeared from her sight.
Riley decided to do each exercise over again. She picked up a blank sheet of paper and set out to do the first exercise: an expression with fractions impatient to be solved. Undaunted by every mistake, the little girl did every calculation and got the longed-for solution. One down, three more to go!
In half an hour, she had the three results of the three expressions calculated. She felt unstoppable. Nothing can stop me! Not even four stupid mathematical expressions!
—
Theo called at two o'clock in the afternoon. He and his friend would meet in the park as soon as their talk was over. His voice was not as radiant as usual; it was dull and low, almost dejected. Riley felt compelled to make him feel good, as any best friend would in a time of need.
"Is something wrong, Theo?" asked Riley.
"I'm just a little down, that's all," answered Theo truthfully. "You know how it is. The math homework has put me through a lot."
Part of Riley's fears disappeared. She, too, had encountered her own difficulties; the fact that he had said that sentence made her feel less alone. It was just the two of them: Riley and Theo against the world! So she wanted to title their friendship. She would have liked to add "diapers", but she preferred to highlight just the two of them.
"Mrs. Heller doesn't know the concept of simple tasks," Riley sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if she takes pleasure in seeing us suffer."
Theo laughed. He felt his sadness fade away; her comments always managed to make him feel good.
"Did you manage to do all your homework?" Theo's voice became lower "I didn't."
Riley chuckled amusedly. "Luckily, all of them. Do your parents let you out even though you didn't do all your homework?"
"They care that I do it all," she replied at a normal volume "Mom always checks my notebooks, every time."
They talked for about ten minutes in total, Riley remembered that she had to change before going out. She said goodbye to her friend, telling him she would wait for him at the park, and ended the call.
Finding her mother was not difficult. Helen spent most of her time in the office room she shared with Greg, working or surfing the Internet. Before going there, Riley walked around her room and grabbed a pair of blue panties, then took off her jeans showing off her pristine white diaper and rocketed off to the office room on the ground floor with panties and jeans firmly in her hands. She knocked and entered without her mother giving her permission to enter.
"Am I disturbing you, Mom?" asked the nervous 11-year-old.
"You're not disturbing at all, honey," replied Helen kindly and stopped tapping on the keyboard. She looked at the puzzled little girl. "Why do you have your jeans and underwear in your hands?"
"Theo and I are going to the park," replied Riley excitedly. "I have to put on my underwear and I can't do that without you, or Daddy, taking off my diaper. Rules are rules right?"
Helen nodded, got up from her chair, ripped the tapes off her diaper and placed it back on the table. She said, "I bet you don't need a hand to put on your underwear right?"
Riley shook her head. After ten seconds, the little girl was back to her normal 11-year-old self and picked up the clean diaper on the table. She said to her, "Thank you, Mommy!"
Helen returned to her seat, then said to her daughter, "Please, since it's clean put it on the changing table I'll put it back tonight."
Riley obeyed, went to say goodbye to both her parents who told her to be back before 6 p.m., and finally went out. She was looking forward to meeting Theo in the park.
—
They were not alone in the park. There were three four-year-olds playing on the slide, two boys-two boys-older than them on the swings babbling about girls, for a moment they felt uncomfortable. Riley and Theo decided to go sit on the benches a little further away from the games.
"So, have you started re-reading Ashes?" was the first thing Theo asked her.
"Not yet, first I have to finish reading Pentelton Rust's The Secret of the Atlas," she answered truthfully. "I only have a few pages left!"
They discussed about that book for about twenty minutes, Theo seemed interested, and from his questions, which seemed to know no end, a desire arose to start reading it right away. Riley felt proud that he had stimulated his friend to explore new literary horizons.
"Theo! Riley!" a high, slightly hoarse voice called them.
They both turned and recognized her immediately: Sally Halley, rockiest kid in their class. The biggest rebel in their school was catching up with them in a cheerful and motivated manner.
Theo waved to her, all smiles that he was. Riley tried to imitate her friend, but only a grimace came out.
The rebel sat down next to poor Theo, then without warning grabbed him by the neck and tousled his cap as if it were his real hair. He wriggled out, but to no avail, his laughter keeping Riley from helping him free himself from Sally Halley's firm grip. Afterwards she let go of him and sat down like any other person.
"You too wasting time?" asked Sally.
"You mean relax," Riley corrected her in a composed voice. His presence was bothering her. If she had a diaper on she would have peed a little. "What brings you here?"
"Didn't I say that before? To waste time!" Sally's voice was pleased. "Since we are together, how about we go for a walk?"
Theo said "yes" without a second thought, Riley hated that instant with all of herself. Come on, Theo! We're talking about crazy Sally Halley and you say yes?
Their walk took them to the supermarket. Sally and Theo talked the whole time, Riley had to absorb the silly ideas for pranks on Mrs. Towers and Mrs. Heller, who, like Sally and so many others, didn't like her.
"Why?" the 11-year-old wondered. "They are doing their duty as teachers! Why should they be hurt just because we didn't do our best?" She still had her mother's speech well in her head. I wonder how her parents would have taken it if they had known that Sally had joined the two of them in their outing?
For some strange reason, the three kids went to the baby and toddler products section. Seeing the packs of Pampers and Huggies diapers, Riley began to feel uneasy. For all the diapers, how I wish I had one on!
"Why are we here, Sally?" asked Theo.
"I have to get diapers for my little brothers," replied Sally annoyed. "You have no idea how annoying they are! Mom is always with them! So.... what are they..."
Theo looked at Riley. "Are you all right? You haven't said a word since we left the park."
"I'm fine!" Riley replied nervously to Theo; then turned to Sally in a calmer voice, "How old are your little brothers?"
"Two years old. Why?"
"What brand do you usually take? Do you know it?"
"It starts with the. P, I think."
"Take these here," Riley helped her by handing her a package of Pampers Baby-Dry that was smaller in size than her own that she had at home.
Without realizing it, she explained every detail about them, "They are classic diapers. They can hold plenty of pee and poop. Take me for example, I wear them and have never had a problem with spills. I do a lot of it and have never wet my clothes. The tapes are terrific and sometimes they can be a nuisance. Just don't wear them very tight, otherwise... you get the idea."
"Riley!" exclaimed Theo terrified and brought both hands to his mouth.
Sally turned toward him without understanding. She returned her focus to her classmate with a puzzled look, "Am I wrong or did you say you wear them?"
Her heart began to pound wildly, Riley began to flinch. No tears, just drops of pee inside her blue panties. Oh no, what have I done!
Theo stepped between the two little girls, rushing to Riley's aid, unable to speak. His eyes fixed on Sally Halley and her gaze intense. He told her menacingly, "If you tell anyone, you will regret it bitterly!"
"Theo..." Riley called him almost in tears. "I have to go back to my house right away."
Theo turned to her and looked down at her wet jeans from the waist down. He made a brief jerk and hugged her as much as he could. He felt like crying, too.
It was official: Riley, the 11-year-old girl, had peed her pants in public. In front of her two classmates, one of whom was Sally Halley, the most influential girl in school.
Her life was over.
"Get her out of the crates without shopping!" ordered Sally to Theo. "I'll pay and then join you!"
"What?" asked Theo with his face streaked with tears. Riley hid her face on his chest.
"Theo, if they see her the rumor will spread and everyone will make fun of her!" she told him terrified. She imagined that scenario and did not want it to happen. "Wait for me behind the supermarket and..."
She looked at Riley for a second.
"And then we'll take her home," Sally concluded, running toward the checkouts.
Left alone, Theo whispered to her, "We'll take it from here, hang in there. Everything will be fine."
"Mom and Dad will-" she tried to say in a feeble voice.
"They will make you better," he told her with conviction, then pulled her away from him with both arms on his shoulders. "But let's get out of here first."
Riley nodded and, for the first time in her whole life, felt like a little girl.