Roseline Walker
Next day on Monday
"I swear to god, Lexi he was so weird!" I exclaimed as we're both putting on our scrubs "I'm sure as hell he's a ghost or something maybe a demon? Because how can someone just disappear?"
"That is super weird," she agreed, "how can someone just disappear behind a tree? Like what, he's a magician or something?"
"Yeah, but it gets weirder, he knows my name," I tell her still thinking about yesterday's encounter.
"What? how would a ghost know your name?" she asks, looking at me in disbelief.
"Ghosts known everything!" I tell her as we pin up our hairs
"So, you're saying this is a ghost who somehow has a body, knows everything and is flirting with you?" she looks at me, her face is full of surprise,
"Yup, that's what I'm saying."
"And you can see it and talk to it?" she asks me again, just to make sure she heard me right.
"Yes, and he disappears behind trees" I added
She just shook her head like she was speechless and started laughing, "Baby, I love you but Ghosts don't exist"
"Okay, then why don't you explain to me how this 'ghost' knows my name, why is he flirting with me and how did he disappear behind a tree?" I asked her sarcastically
"Well, I don't have an answer for that," she admitted and suddenly realized how scary it was. "It probably was a stalker. You should be careful walking by yourself from now on, who knows he could be following you."
So I should just believe that a stalker has been following me for quite some time now and somehow he can just randomly disappear behind trees?
"Oh my god, Lexi, you don't believe me?" I asked her, still shocked by what she just said.
"I mean yeah, a human is a lot more likely than a ghost, I'm just trying to be realistic"
"Realistic? What is realistic about a person disappearing behind trees and knowing my name and not being creeped out and he keeps staring at me?" I demanded
She shrugged, "Well, what would you say I think? I mean, come on, there's no such thing as ghosts."
"You know you're going to piss off ghosts if you keep saying that" I whisper yell at her
"What? do you think a ghost is going to come out of nowhere and haunt me?" she smirks, mockingly,
"shut up!" I smack her arm and she chuckled.
"If you want I can keep Em, with me tonight" she says as we're moving out of the locker room
"Seriously?" I ask her, my heart skips a beat in my chest, "You really don't believe me?"
I get that ghosts aren't very likely to exist in this world, but this whole thing has me so shaken up. I can't explain it, but it feels like this guy is out to get me and I'm scared.
I can't explain it, but it's like a gut feeling telling me that this is all real.
"I'm just saying even if it's a ghost, which it's not, I can keep Em with me for tonight?" She says, walking over to the nurse station.
"Fine-"
She cuts me off while going through her clipboard "Patient 125 tried running last night," she says
"Again?" My shoulders sunk
"He tried killing himself and his daughter, few weeks ago, we've put restrainers on him, he's being very incorporating," I sighed biting the inside of my cheek.
"This job is really depressing sometimes." she sighs then we hear a patient screaming, she looks up at the sound, she seems so used to it, as if it was just a daily occurrence.
"The little girl is still in the PTSD care," I inform Lexi.
"Poor thing" she says with sympathy
The screaming continues as we're rushing our way towards the way it's coming from.
The screaming seems to be getting louder, I'm hoping this patient isn't doing anything too crazy. we make our way up the corridor and the screaming is even more audible as we get closer, I can almost feel the adrenaline pumping in my veins. a few caretakers and nurses were already there outside the room trying to contain the situation.
One of them unlocked the door and steps inside, I make my way inside too, with Lexi following preparing the injection already.
Ryan holds the patient down on the bed, "sir I need you to calm down,"
The patient is screaming his lungs out, he's trying to push the male nurses away, but they're stronger than him. as we get inside I notice that he's just 17, a kid who has probably gone through more than he could endure.
"Sir, please you have to calm down," Ryan is saying "we're here to help you"
he shakes his head "No no! let me go, I'm not crazy! I don't want to stay here!" he yells
Ryan keeps trying to pacify him "Sir, sir, listen to me, you're having an episode, you're going to hurt yourself" He pins one of the patient's arms down and he screams louder
"I don't want to stay here! I have to get back to my daughter" he yells, he's been repeating this same thing over again for the past month.
"Your daughter is safe, we already contacted the child protective services, she's under their supervision. She's not in danger," Ryan tries convincing him,
The kid looks at him, "No you're lying, you have no idea! just let me go!" he shouts struggling harder to get the nurses off him.
"We can't let you go, sir, you're in severe mental distress, you need to be monitored," they tried to reason with him.
I join Ryan holding his arm still and giving Lexi a nod to give him the sedative, "Okay, okay you have to get well soon to meet your daughter, so you have to coordinate with us," I try to talk him down.
The guy kept fighting until he was finally tranquilized, as his body finally gave up the struggle. it's like his body realized that there's no point in fighting anymore. but this time his screams are more muffled, the sedative kicked in.
Ryan lets go of his hand as the guy's body has finally calmed down and just laid down on his bed, this time he's still screaming but not as loud before.
"We're going to keep you here until we can assure that you're no longer experiencing this kind of episode," Ryan tells him calmly
The boy tries shaking his head with muffled voice, "No! I have to get back to her" he keeps saying, but Ryan ignores what he's saying and keeps talking "We're keeping you here until you're better"
The boy was just sobbing quietly in his bed, his body exhausted from all the fighting. he still won't listen to the nurse. he still kept muttering about his daughter, how he has to go back to her.
Ryan, Lexi and me gets out of the room locking it behind, as the otbers gathered around started to leave too.
"He doesn't have a daughter," Ryan tells us "He keeps saying that,"
"Yeah, I wonder why?" Lexi asks him
"The guy is sick, he has schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, but we are making sure to keep him locked in his room."
"Yeah, but where did he get the idea of the daughter then?" I ask him
Ryan shrugs, "Could be anything, could be a delusional or something, that's why he keeps wanting to go to her, his mother was the one to drop him here"
We both nod, "Thanks for the help," Ryan says patting my back and waving at Lexi before he leaves.
"What a way to start a day," Lexi takes in a heavy breath.
"Yeah, I know" I sigh as we're walking towards the nurse station.
"Rose!" I hear a voice from behind making us both turn around.
"Ava? what happened?" I asked her.
"Mrs Spencer! she's not cooperating with any of the nurse, she wants you, she just slapped me when I tried to give her, her medicines" Ava says.
Mrs Spencer is a 64 year old woman, with dementia, She's an absolute sweetheart to me though.
"Okay, don't worry, I'll go back and talk to her, " I said to Ava, and she nods.
I make my way back to Mrs Spencer's room. and I see her, yelling at other three people in the same room as hers while she's sitting on the bed, her hands are still up in the air like she's ready to hit whoever walks into her perimeter.
"Ms Spencer, it's me Rose", I tell her with caution and my arms up to show I have no intention to touch her. she lowers her hands, she stares at me from her bed, her blue eye looks confused.
I walk to her slowly, keeping my hands raised in front of me.
The other nurses see me walk towards her, they're looking at us from afar, as if it's nothing out of the ordinary, like they see this kind of event on a daily basis. She stares at me with a blank expression, like she still hasn't recognized me.
"I'm Rose remember? I take you to walks every morning?" I say firmly walking closer to her.
"Rose?" she asks and she squints her eyes to get a better look at me.
it seems like she is starting to remember. she smiles shyly, her hands are now hanging by her side, her body relaxed.
"Yes, Rose..." she says in a soft voice.
"Of course, how can I forget! you're the one always taking care of me." Her smile widens. It seems like she has already recovered from her tantrum. There are no more clouds on her mental skies, she looks like her usual self again.
I walk beside her and sit on her bed. It's been two weeks now that I started taking care of her, ever since she was transferred to my unit. She has always been very cheerful around me.
"How are you feeling today?" I ask her
"I'm alright" she says,
I can tell that she's still not completely over her mental breakdown, but she seems to be much more stable than she was earlier. She keeps smiling at me as if seeing me is enough to brighten up her day.
"I heard you've been troubling the other nurses again, you slapped Ava? she was just giving you your medicines, Mrs Spencer" I say gently.
"Ava? I don't want no medicine. And for the record, I didn't slap her that hard." she tells me as if I've misunderstood the whole thing,
"Yes, but it's not nice to hit people, especially when they're doing you a favor," I tell her softly.
"I know, but it's not much of a big deal, I just wanted to get her away from me" she explained in a very causal tone, like it was not a big deal at all.
"You shouldn't hit people, I know that's a rule at this hospital, we need to show some respect to everyone here, and you need to take your medicines" I'm trying to be gentle with her, she might be old and have dementia, but she's still a human being.
She sighs. "okay, okay, " she says in a dismissive tone while trying to wave me off. I can tell that she's not taking what I'm saying seriously.
"I'll be good" she says, like she's saying that just to please me, but her tone doesn't match her words, she's still annoyed.
I signalled the other nurse to hand me the medicines and she does with a glass of water, I hand Mrs Spencer her medicines with a glass of water. "After this we can go for our walk,"
"Oh great." She says in her usual cheerful tone like her mental health just isn't an issue anymore. I can't help but to wonder how long this good mood can last.
"But first you have to take your medicine" I tell her gently.
She rolls her eyes.
"I'll take them," she says and she takes a pill out and puts it on her tongue, she drinks some water and gulps it down.
I wait till she swallows the pill, then I ask her, "Now no more hitting people okay."
She rolls her eyes again. "I know, I know" she sighs as if I've been nagging her all day.
"I promise this will be the last time, I didn't mean to, it just happened" she says with annoyance "Now, can we go?"
"Just a minute" I tell her, she waits impatiently as if not being able to go for a walk is the most frustrating thing in her world right now.
The other nurse brings in Mrs Spencer's wheelchair, and we help her sit down on it.
"Are you ready?" I ask her
"Oh gosh, yes" she says excitedly, she already look like she can't wait to get out of her bedroom,
"Alright, let's go then" I push her wheelchair outside the room, she looks back at me and smiles with excitement.
The hallway is quite quiet as there are no other patients or nurse besides ourselves. The sun shines brightly through the big windows, and the natural light looks amazing in here.
I push her to the window and she smiles even brighter as she looks outside.
"Oh my, it's a beautiful day" she says while looking out, she sounds genuinely happy.
We reached the garden downstairs, few other patients walking with nurses and some doing Yoga, too.
We stop in front of a bench and I help her on it, she sits down and takes in a deep breath of fresh air, and smiles with a bright glow.
There are other patients walking around in the garden, some doing Yoga, and some have a chat while enjoying the weather. The sight is quite peaceful.
"Wendell and I used to go for a walk everyday," she smiles looking at the sky.
Wendell her husband, he's been dead for years, she doesn't remember it.
"Oh, I know." I say to her as I sit on the bench right next to her, but I don't know what else I should say.
You can see the sadness in her eyes whenever she talks about her husband, her late husband. She's still in love with him till this day. She always talks about him, like he's still alive and here with her.
She's still talking about Wendell when I look around the garden and then that same sliver haired ghost walks towards us.
Oh my god.
My eyes widened as I saw him, standing up quickly.
"Come on Mrs Spencer let's go in," I say to her trying to stay calm.
Mrs Spencer is looking at me so innocently as if she doesn't understand any danger.
"Oh come on, just one more minute," she asks me, "I just wanna take in the air a little more," she says with her eyes closed.
I try to stay calm, not wanting to scare her with her condition.
"Yeah she doesn't want to go" I hear his husky voice from behind making me snap my head back.
He's not wearing his robe today, or hiding his face, he's wearing a light blue shirt, almost white in the sunlight, with black pants, his hairs were falling onto his forehead, grey eyes staring my face.
I step in front of him instantly, trying to protect Mrs Spencer.
"Step away from us" I say, this time my tone was serious.
His face remains expressionless, he's still staring at me, his hair slowly falling in his face. He's silent for a second, then he says, and his voice is still calm "Don't make this hard for yourself, Rose."
"Oh my, Wendell is that you" Mrs Spencer says with a shy smile as she peers from behind me.
I didn't want her to look at him, he might try to charm his way into her heart and that can't be good for Mrs Spencer's mental state, I try to turn her around but she's already spotted the man in the blue shirt.
"She's a dementia patient" I warn him to not say anything in front of her.
"Wendell? yes" he answers gently as he takes her hand kissing the back of it which made me roll my eyes.
"stay away from her," I say to him
Mrs Spencer just smiles at him when she realizes who she's looking at, her eyes brighten at the sight of him, and he smiles back, still holding her hand, and then starts brushing her hair off her forehead.
she turns to her side and looks directly at him, her eyes bright with joy like she's seeing him for the first time again. I'm not sure what to make of this, all I know is that I don't like him one bit. She hasn't been this happy in months since her mental state began to decline.
She thinks he's her dead husband, I don't know what to tell her.
"Look, my house was one thing this is my work, leave!" I grit my teeth.
Mrs Spencer turns to me with a face of disappointment because she thinks I'm keeping her away from her husband.
"Oh come on now, don't be hard on her." His voice is so calm making my fury boils, I can't even bring myself to speak.
Mrs Spencer starts to get up from the bench while still holding his hand.
"Mrs Spencer please sit down, you can't just-"
"Can't what? I want to go to him" she tells me angrily "Don't be so rude to him, just let me go" she says.
"No, let's go in, it's not safe here" I tell her trying to take her arm
She suddenly pulls her arm from my grasp and her fingers tightly cling onto the slender fingers of the stranger. I can't believe what I just saw. She doesn't try to hide her disappointment in me at all, she acts like nothing is wrong.
She looks back at him with those bright, loving eyes, her other hand caressing his cheek.
I can't believe how far she's gone, even after I've seen it with my eyes her mental state was declining, I still had hope that I could fix it.
Oh god.
"Why are you here" I rub my forehead.
The man looks up at me, his face is neutral, his silver grey eyes gazing at me and I can feel his stare.
He finally breaks his silence by asking "I thought I made it clear yesterday,"
His voice is still calm, and it makes me even more angry.
"Oh my Wendell you haven't changed at all," Mrs Spencer says touching his face.
"Mrs Spencer no-"
Mrs Spencer seems genuinely happy to be with him, she looks like a child on Christmas morning who just opened her gifts. The mere sight of her in this state makes me wonder if I've done the right thing so far.
I step in front of them and try to grab her hand from him again, this time she resists as she tries to stay with him.
She takes her hand away from me and holds him tighter as her voice trembles in excitement. "I've missed you so much, oh, my heart" she says in a trembling voice.
He smiles at her, unsure.
"Mrs Spencer, I have to take you inside" I say angrily as I try to gently pull her away from him.
She tries to resist me, clinging to him as she whispers "I can't leave him now, he's come back, my Wendell."
His face remains still, that smile painted on his face makes me wonder if his face can change expression at all.
"Oh, I know" he says in a hushed voice full of kindness, he lets go of her hand, she looks at him with bright eyes, like she wants him close, like she wants him to kiss her. But he doesn't, instead, he turns to me as his eyes meet mine.
"let's go in, I'll bring Wendell too," I tell her pulling her away from him.
She stares at him still for a moment before she lets herself be pulled away from him, she still looks at him as if she's not done with him yet.
I help her sit in her wheelchair, "I'm calling security!" I glare at him as I pushed her wheelchair forward.
"Go ahead, call them" He says calmly, and he stares at me, his hands are in his pocket.
I ignore his words rushing inside as I hand Mrs Spencer to other nurse, and go to the security to inform them about the person trespassing the hospital's property.
I tell the security man who was standing at the front table everything, he tells me to stay there as he walks towards the gates to go outside and see for himself.
A couple of minutes later, he comes back "There's no one there, Rose," he tells me
"But I saw him! I did, he was standing right here!" I am certain that he was there, I am certain that I'm not hallucinating.
"Maybe you were just tired or something" he says, he doesn't believe me at all.
Oh god no one's going to believe me! Mrs Spencer wasn't entirely in the condition to be believed, so I have no proof! Good. Great.
"I'm not tired!" I tell him
"Well, I didn't see anyone" he shrugs "Maybe you were just imagining things"
I'm livid with him, I saw him, I did. He was there. He's probably out there right now! He can't just be gone like that.
"I'm not imagining things!" I say glaring at him.
"Maybe you should go take the rest of the day off?" He suggested
"What? Are you serious?" I'm already stressed because of Mrs Spencer so I don't need this right now, I can't take a day off.
"No, I can't. I have another patient to look after" I tell him angrily.
"Well... I think it'll be for the best"
"I think I can make that decision myself" I tell him "Look I know what I saw, I'm not leaving my job just because you won't believe me"
"Fine, as you wish" he says, but I can tell that he doesn't care one bit.
"That man was real!" I say to him "I saw him with my eyes, he was standing right there!" But he doesn't care one bit, he doesn't believe me at all.
He stares at me blankly, "I'll let you take care of this then" and he walks away, leaving me with my anger and frustration.
I let out a loud sigh as he walks away, "I'm not imagining things" I say to myself, but his words about taking a day off are already playing on my mind.
What if they do suspect something's wrong with my mental health? I don't know what to believe right now, but I'm sure as hell I'm not imagining things.
What is happening? Why am I getting so angry? I'm never angry. I don't yell at people, and I certainly do not lose my patience.
Something's definitely wrong.
I've been working in this hospital for a long time and I know my job and my limits. There's no way I couldn't trust my own eyes. But there's a part of my mind that starts to doubt it, that asks the right question "what if I'm just tired, or worse, what if there's something wrong with me"?
Maybe, just maybe I am hallucinating? Maybe it's from all the stress I'm under right now, looking after Mrs Spencer and my other patients.
A deep sigh leaves my mouth as I make up my mind and decide that I really do need that day off, I can't focus right now.
I go to the director to inform her about my decision, and she just says, "alright, hope you feel well," in that calm tone of hers "let me know if you need anything"
Maybe it will be for the best, maybe this whole thing is just my tired-mind playing games on me. I'll go home, take some rest and go back to work tomorrow refreshed.
I informed the front office to tell Lexi I'm taking the day off, before going to the locker room and changing my clothes, taking my bag with me before I head out.
I walk out to the parking lot, my mind is still trying to process the whole situation, what happened with Mrs Spencer and that man.
But the more I try to convince myself he's real the more questions arise, questions I don't have answers to. I just want to go home now, no, I need to go home now, to get my mind off the whole thing.
That walk to my car feels like the longest walk I will ever make.
I finally reach my car, I open the door, and get inside, sit in the drivers seat and put my bag on the passenger seat, then I start the car. The radio plays soft music, which I tune out anyway, it's too hard to focus on anything other than my thoughts right now.
I don't even know how I get home, I'm deep in my thoughts, just driving in auto-pilot. Once I arrive at my home, I park the car, and switch off the engine. I get out of my car and walk towards the front door, taking out my keys.
Even this mundane action doesn't feel real to me, I feel like I'm watching someone else do it. My movements are all automatic, I'm like a machine running a programmed task.
It feels like there is this disconnect between my body and mind right now, as I unlock the door and enter inside my home.
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