When Princess made it into work, with a face devoid of life, at the sight of her Dee at once said, "Ah dinnae ken whit's happened hen, but ye're no' workin' today."
Princess lightly staggered and trembled as she made her way through Dee's Upon the Railway. Then went limp when Dee sat her down and she collapsed onto the stool, behind the café counter, below Rodric's wilted brown bouquet.
"Prince, hen, ye're as pale as sno' when wis the last time ye ate?"
Princess half shook and nodded her head and then winced because it hurt her head—or brain—to do so. She then struggled to respond. Thinking was a strenuous and painful feat when her brain was foggy and spent. She then broke into fresh tears as she feebly moaned, "Ah cannae remember..."
"Ohh, ok-ok, hen it's alright—Gad did ye drive like this? Angus please, a fresh bun an' tea. Princess look at me—Princess. Ah havnae seen ye like this since ye were fifteen an' full o' drugs. Whit happened? Wis it someone? Rodric? No—ok-ok someone else?"
Princess then faintly whispered, "Mam."
New tears streamed down her face. Princess knew that if she spoke aloud exactly what had happened yesterday, and why she was so upset, she would feel like a fool. A pathetic fool of a person who had got all wound up over nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
A stranger had not taken advantage of her. She had not been hit. She was not black or green or blue or purple. No one had laid a finger on her but herself. She had no reason to be so upset. No reason to turn up to work to lay this all upon her godmother and disrupt her day.
"Ah'm sorry." Princess said softly, sobbing.
"Naw, naw-naw, ma Prince, ye have nothin' tae be sorry for. Ok? Ok? Prince? Look at me, hen—ok?"
Princess nodded her head pitifully. Dee then kissed her forehead and Angus came along with a warm iced bun and big cup of milky tea.
"Here, ye ar' hen," he croaked gently, as he laid the plate and mug atop the counter.
Princess slowly and carefully tilted her head back and forth with a meek nod and faintly smiled at Angus. Then her lips quivered downwards, and she moaned like a little girl, "Ah dinnae feel good."
"Anno, hen. Ah ken. Please. Take a bite. One bite an' a sip o' tea." Dee almost cooed. "C'mon together."
Princess slowly and sluggishly did as Dee said as her godmother helped feed her. Half a cup of tea and a quarter of a sweet—and salty with tears—bun later, Princess had slightly begun to regain colour in her cheeks.
"Ye feelin' a little better hen?" Dee asked.
Princess nodded and smiled softly, then slowly murmured, "Ah dinnae ken why..."
"Prince, ma hen, 'is is whit they call a relapse. It's perfectly normal an' ye have nothin' tae feel bad or ashamed about."
Silent tears fell from Princess's eyes as she absorbed what Dee said. Then she shook her head painfully and put her face into her hands and sobbed, "Ah shouldn't have gone back home."
Dee gently rubbed Princess's back as she cried.
Then once Princess had finally dried her face and calmed down enough, Dee told her to take the day off, and if she wanted to, she could come and stay with her until she decided what she wanted to do next.
Princess nodded in response.
Dee then asked her if she wanted Hew or Adie to come and pick her up. Princess was too wrung out to think, so she let Dee choose. It was then decided that Hew would come and pick Princess up and drive her back to their farmhouse.
And so that's what happened.
Although, before departing, Princess mentioned that she had left her phone back at home. Dee told her not to worry and that she would call her parents herself and let them know of the arrangement and where she was going to be for the next few days.
*
As soon as Princess's head hit the pillow of the MacGregor's spare bedroom's bed she crashed. And she slept on till twilight.
Without any dreams.
Much later, when she arose from bed and went downstairs into the kitchen to check the time on the clock, it was quarter-past four. Meaning Dee would not be back for another three hours and Hew and Adie would not be back until pub closing time, which would be past ten at night.
Feeling much better than she had this morning, Princess made herself a strong cup of tea and sat in the living room under a hefty bundle of blankets, because she would have felt bad about using the MacGregor's wood to make a fire.
Then once she had gotten bored of that she had decided it was best for her to go out and play with the dogs—or more so sit whilst she watched them play.
And so did she, until Dee came back home.
"He came in, ye ken, yer Rodric. An' he asked after ye o' cour—dinnae fash hen, ah explained tae him that ye were havin' a bad day an' took the day off an' that ye had forgotten ye phone at hom—naw-naw ah didnae tell him anything like 'at. Ah said 'at was for him tae ask ye." Dee explained as Princess helped her prepare dinner.
Princess nodded, holding the kitchen knife mid-air above the chopping board as she listened to Dee. Then she could not help herself as she began saying, "Ah thank ye Dee—for everythin' an' ah'm sorry ah—"
"Ahh haud yer wheest, hen. Ah already told ye, ye have shite tae be sorry for an' ah'll have ye ken that ah'm ye godmoth'r an' a love ye an' ye family. Yees ar' family. Ah have nae right tae interfere with ye an' ye parents—ah hope ye understand—but ah will always be here for ye. So, no apologies ah beg!"
Princess laughed and embraced Dee in a side hug.
"Ah dinnae ken whit ah'd do wi'oot ye," Princess said, breaking out into tears for the umpteenth time.
"Ahh hen."
Dee abandoned her stew to give Princess one of her bear hugs. After a long while, of hugging and lulling side to side, Princess finally professed, "Ah feel bad for Rodric though, anno ah come first, but ah should have at least communicated wi' him abou—"
Dee whirled around and automatically handed Princess her phone without a word. Princess slowly took it, then smiled and thanked her godmother with a peck on the cheek.
Princess went upstairs to the spare bedroom and rang Rodric with Dee's phone. The phone rang for not even a second before Rodric picked up, frantic, "Dee? Is somethin' the matter? Is it Princess?"
"It's me," Princess said softly.
"Prin—Oh, thank Gad—are ye ok?"
There was a pause.
As Princess needed a few seconds before she slowly said, "Mhm...ah'm sorry ah ignored ye...it wis no' ma intention ta—"
"Princess ye sound slow an' broken? Are ye sure ye're ok?"
"Ah'm better now... Ah'm sorry rea—"
"Princess—ma Prince Charmin'—please dinnae apologise, ye did nothin' wrong."
Princess started crying again, silently. Trying to hide it she quietly murmured, "Ok, thank ye."
"Are ye cryin' babe?" He murmured gently. "Where are ye?"
Princess sniffed and tried not to worry Rodric further with more dramatic sobs, but the way his voice stroked the most fragile part of her—that not even Dee could reach—with a foreign kindness made her efforts futile. She took in a shuddering breath, and slowly said, "Ah'm at Dee's...ah'll be stayin' here until...ah..."
There was a pause of silence as her words wandered off into nihility. Then Rodric broke the quiet, "Can ah see ye?"
Princess blinked. Then sobbed. And Rodric quickly added, "Ye dinnae have tae say yes, ye can tell me n—"
"Aye." Sniff. "Please."
*
Rodric arrived at the MacGregor's farmhouse promptly after dinner. Princess would have run to him if she had had the strength to. Instead, she slowly went outside to meet him. And found him already being greeted by the horde of hounds.
There was no stopping the relief and her smile when Princess's eyes met with the sight of him and his dimpled grin as he said hello to Roodie and Maisie. And there was no stopping the tears and her sniffles when Rodric pulled her into his arms without a word.
She held him tight, crying into the crook of his neck. He rocked her back and forth, kissing her head and stroking his thumbs up and down against her arms.
They were just like this for a bit.
Until her Damsel then leant down to kiss her on the cheek and wiped away her tears, before gingerly murmuring, "We dinnae have tae talk about it...but we can if ye want tae."
Princess looked up to meet his tender gaze. And she had needed a moment to think about it. A longer moment than usual as her brain had been operating on a slower system since this morning. Rodric delicately caressed her face as she took her time to make her decision.
Finally, she nodded. And Rodric faintly smiled as he looked down to her lips, where he then placed a feathery soft kiss. He kissed her forehead too and then his hand found hers and he lifted it up to his lips. Hand and hand, they then slowly made their way out, across the field for a very long walk as Princess proceeded to explain everything.
In her own time.
Princess left no stone unturned—unless they were the jagged type her mind had decidedly chosen to blotch out from her memory—as she told Rodric about her history. Including, surprisingly, her grandfather's final words.
"It means..." Princess paused and stopped walking.
She beheld the moment for all that it was.
She drew up her courage to say it out loud. Then she held her breath and closed her eyes before continuing, "Ye're beautiful on the outside, but ye're ugly on the inside."
Rodric's head snapped up to Princess's as she opened her eyes again, his eyes slightly wide in alarm. He then frowned and softly said in disbelief, "That wis the last thing he said tae ye? Ye're own di? When ye were ten?"
Princess laughed.
There was nothing funny about it.
She then smiled sadly and gently nodded, murmuring, "Ma mam's said a lot worse, but that...that has haunted me ma whole life..."
Rodric then went to cradle Princess's face in his warm hands, and she let his stunning eyes study her. He looked from one eye to the other. It was several seconds before Rodric then said, very seriously but gingerly, "If a told ye different wuid ye believe me?"
Princess's breath hitched.
She placed her own hands over Rodric's and softly smiled through a tear as she whispered the bitter truth, "Not today."
Princess then watched as Rodric's frown deepened and became tense with anger she had never seen on his face before. And without words, Rodric leaned down and kissed her tear away before kissing Princess with a tender gentleness that made more tears slip past her cheeks. A gentleness that only Rodric possessed. One that made it so easy for her to tell him her darkest secrets.
When they broke apart again and carried on their stroll, Princess went on to explain her relationship with her mother. Her relationship with her father. Her days as a depressed teen and as an anxiously paranoid young woman. Her... pain-inducing tendencies of which were her coping mechanisms.
There would have been no use in only relaying to him last night's events, not without the whole history that had led her to have the reaction she had had that morning. And Rodric listened. Only when he needed to have something clarified did he interrupt Princess. It was close to midnight when she was at last finished her life story—at least the traumatic parts of it.
"So, ah have some broken parts tae me, parts that sometimes make me do things tae maself that someone should never have tae do tae themselves tae feel better... An'...it's ok...if that scares ye. Ah understand if that means ye want tae walk away. Ah understand if it's too much...too intense. There's still a lot of healin' ah have tae do. An' the process wuid be slow an' anythin' but easy..."
Rodric remained silent as Princess trailed off.
Then, only when he was sure she had nothing else to say, did Rodric gently pull her back into his arms to kiss her forehead again.
Then her left cheek.
Her right cheek.
Her left eyelid.
Her right eyelid.
And her lips.
It started off as a slow, tender peck. Innocent and sweet. But Princess had missed him. Missed this. And had been missing it her whole life. Missing it even when she had had no concept of it. She pulled him in closer and sweet became decadent. Innocent melted away and became heated and molten. When they finally came up for air Rodric leant down to nuzzle into Princess's neck as he mumbled,
"Ah'm no' goin' anywhere."