𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮,
𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐮, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮;
𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐲𝐚.
Eddie
The rest of the team is visiting Buck in the hospital while I volunteer to watch Amelia for the day. Buck's sister, Maddie is working and he can't talk to Amelia's sitter when he's laid up in bed.
Amelia's been at my house enjoying her time with Chris or at least I think she is happy with him.
I'm making them popcorn since it's one of the only things I can cook without burning it and I keep checking my phone for texts from Carla, Buck, or Cap in case they need me.
"I think my dad loves your dad." I overhear my son say from his bedroom.
"I want my dad to be happy and in love. I'm scared though. Chris, when your dad dates someone do you think they are replacing your mom?" I overhear Amelia say from Chris' room where they have set up a pillow fort.
I lean by the half-closed doorway, and can't help but eavesdrop on the kids.
"Why are you scared? I know my mom is gone but she still loves me." I hear Chris say to Amelia clearly.
"I don't like changes. Too many changes have happened in my life and I wish that I could pause for a moment. First, the school fire, then my allergy and asthma attack, and now my dad is hurt and in the hospital. Oh, and people are making fun of my scars and medication now that I have to use an inhaler in school. Amy L said I'm the reason why students can't eat PB&J." Amelia says to Chris as I hold the two bowls of popcorn outside my son's bedroom door.
"What if you asked your dad to let you switch schools then you would feel safer, make friends with my friends, and our dads can date? I can show you some tips my dad taught me about having anxiety." I can't help but listen to the two kids.
"But I don't want my dad to date. I want him to be safe and not injured. Love is scary Chris, we both know it because people leave and abandon us. People go and disappear. My mom is not like yours Chris, she didn't love me enough. At least I don't think she did." Amelia's voice cracks and I am so tempted to open the door and ruin their friendly moment.
"Yeah but even though people leave, things get better over time. You should go to my school and meet my friends." Chris says as I almost drop the popcorn bowls outside his room.
"I'll ask my dad again when he recovers. Have you ever had nightmares, Chris?" I leave after her question and go back to the kitchen to add some M&M's without nuts to the popcorn and leave them to talk.
Damn.
Okay so I'll probably hold off my secret relationship with him until I talk to Chris and he talks to Amelia about us being together.
I didn't know how scared and anxious Amelia felt about Buck and me together, as friends or dating.
"Dad, can Amelia have one of my old stuffies?" I hear my son walk over to the kitchen without his crutches.
His crutches are lying against his bedpost.
"Are you sure, bud? You loved those things and carried them everywhere." I grab a cup with a lid on it to fill with water.
"She says she has nightmares like I used to get. She's using the bathroom right now so I came over to ask you." Chris whispers to me while holding himself up on the kitchen tile.
"It's your decision. They are your old toys. Thanks, again for being so kind and letting her share your space while her dad is in the hospital," I run my hand through his messy curls.
"It's what best friends do for each other. We're not moving to Abuela's are we, Dad?" Chris leans to my elbow to rest his head.
It's getting late. I'll let them watch one movie and get Amelia's bed sheets set up.
"No. What makes you think that, Chris?" I reply while filling a second cup full of water.
"Overheard you talking to Abuela," Chris shrugs,
"Why don't you guys watch the movie in the living room while I set up Amelia's bed set? I'll put the popcorn and drinks on the table while you grab her one of your stuffies." I lean over to hug my son after clearing up that we are not moving.
"Okay, thanks, Dad." Chris gently hugs me since he's a teenager and doesn't want physical touch.
While Amelia and Chris are watching Ms. Marvel on Disney +, I set up Amelia's bed in Chris' room and make sure that she has an air mattress that's comfortable enough and not too close to his bed.
I can't stop thinking about their conversation while I fix her sheets.
I am hesitant to tell Buck about it later and don't want him to worry when he just got injured.
As I head back to the kitchen to watch the kids, my phone begins to ring.
I look down at the caller ID and it's Hen calling.
Weird, why is she calling outside of work?
We aren't that close yet even as co-workers.
"Hey Hen, I'm watching Amelia and Chris today, what's going on?" I go into my bedroom and close the door because Chris knows to knock if he needs me.
"Cap wants to know if you are coming to his birthday BBQ/Buck's Welcome Home party." I listen to Hen talk.
"Why didn't he ask me himself?" I run my hand through my stubble.
"He's busy calling caterers and Maddie and other friends for it. Chim's talking to Buck so I thought I'd step away from the hospital and call you. Are you coming? It's gonna be at Cap's apartment since he has the largest one. Buck, obviously doesn't know this is for him. We're waiting for the doctor to say when Buck can be discharged. He's obviously going to need physical therapy after all. " Hen says to me while waiting for me to respond.
"Yes, of course. I'll be there. I'll bring Amelia and Chris. The hospital is not a place for Amelia to be right now. Anything else you need to tell me?"
"What's up with you and Buck? I saw the way you looked at each other in the hospital a few days ago when we got to visit him." Hen says in a serious voice.
"I don't know what you're talking about. We're co-workers and I don't know when he's coming back to the station." I say while biting my lip.
"So you didn't kiss him before Athena and I walked into the room with Amelia a few days ago?" Hen says with a kissy voice over the phone.
"I gotta go help Amelia with her bedtime routine. See you tomorrow Hen." I hang up on her before my cheeks can get even more pink and embarrassed.
How did she find out so quickly?
I unlock my bedroom door and walk over to the living room to see how the kids are doing.
"Eddie, how's my dad doing? Is he coming home yet?" Amelia looks over at me with tears and hope in her eyes while Chris watches Ms. Marvel on the screen.
Oh, she thought I was talking to Buck on the phone in my bedroom.
"I'm sorry Amelia I don't have an update on your Dad. I can call him and see if he's awake. He might be resting since he's on medication and is injured. Don't be disappointed if he doesn't pick up. He's probably exhausted from visitors." I watch her move on the couch to cuddle into my lap as she nods her head, distracted by the TV.
"I'll call your dad, Little Buckley. Go keep Chris company so that I don't talk over the TV." I run my hand through her messy braid that she's been playing with.
Amelia nods her head and goes back to Chris' side of the couch to hug his old turtle stuffie that he used to love.
I walk into the kitchen and press Buck's contact on my phone.
I know he got a new phone after the building collapse. Although, he's probably been told to rest more than use screens and entertainment.
God, I wish he didn't run into that building.
I love him but he is the most stubborn listener ever.
"Eds, Oh gosh, did something happen to Amelia? What's wrong? What did I miss in like the last 4 days that I haven't been there for her." Buck starts panicking on the other end of the call.
"Buck, calm down. She's fine and healthy. Chris got her into Ms. Marvel. She wants to talk to you and see what your health update is. I'm going to hand her the phone. One moment." I say and am so in love with the way he cares for his kid when he's struggling himself.
He's like a copy of me when Chris is at doctor's appointments.
"Amelia, your dad is on the phone." I tap her on the shoulder shocking her a little while she's watching TV.
Amelia is silent again and nods her head as she takes my phone then walks over to Chris' room leaving the door ajar.
"Dad, I miss you. When can I go home with you?" I hear Amelia say from the crack in the door while I'm sitting with Chris.
The apartment is very intimate so there's not many private places to talk besides my bedroom.
"Can I go to school with Chris when you come home? I don't like going to school alone." I hear Amelia's voice crack and just want to go up to hug her.
"Okay, that sounds good. I can wait. How are you feeling?" I hear her say again.
"Why won't they let you come home if you feel better, dad?" I hear her voice crack again and can tell that she's crying.
"If you got hurt that you shouldn't go back to work. I... I don't want to lose you like how I lost mom. Auntie M says that she can't watch me sometimes because she has her own work. Hen has a family too. Dad, I don't want you getting hurt again." Amelia says to the phone and I can tell that she's angry at Buck.
He loves to work and would have no family besides Maddie without the 118's help.
"I'm mad at you! You just told me you ran into that building. Why didn't you tell me that a few days ago? Oh, so you were just trying to protect me?! Have you ever thought that I didn't want you to run into that building?!" Amelia screams and slams Chris' bedroom door shut, angrily.
"Stop trying to baby girl me. I'm 10 years old. I'm allowed to be mad at you. You almost left me forever like mom did!" I hear her scream into the phone as if she's a teenager with hormones.
I hear my phone being thrown somewhere and pray to god that it's not broken.
I have the house phone that I call my mother on since she doesn't like me calling on cell phones.
That's it.
I need to go and check to see Amelia. I can't imagine how she's feeling with her dad in the hospital injured and no mom.
I bet Chris can relate a bit.
"I'll go talk to her, dad. She understands me and loves my hugs." Chris gets up from the couch without his crutches and says to me like a young man.
"Okay, yeah, yeah. That's cool. Thank you so much for looking after her Chris. You are a good friend and brother to her." I lean in to hug my son but he refuses as usual.
Typical teenager behavior.
I will have to see if my phone is in one piece later.
Right now, Amelia needs a hug from Chris and someone around her age to talk to not an adult who is a first responder that gets injured on the job.