*Hey, guys! Sorry for the delay. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.
I also watched Kung Fu Panda 4 a few weeks ago and, despite what some of the critics said about it, I thought it was very entertaining. I personally liked it a little better than Kung Fu Panda 3, in fact.
Without waking Lucario and the others, Po got up early in the morning to exercise outside the Training Hall. He had no clue where to start or what to do, of course, but as the Dragon Warrior, it was better than doing nothing at all. His prior conversation with Master Oogway told him that much.
The panda looked around the courtyard, wondering what he should practice first.
"Hm. Well, I'm definitely not going to be chopping some blocks in half anytime soon..."
His stomach then began to growl, causing him to look down at it in annoyance. He swore it had a mind of its own sometimes.
"Ugh! We'll get something to eat later, stomach. We have some work to do first."
Po then glanced over at two elongated posts meant for doing the splits on. They comprised of multiple wooden sticks that were bound together by rope.
"Guess testing my... uh... flexibility could be a good warmup. Hehe."
Before he could even attempt walking over to them, he was interrupted by the sight of a small gray fox sleeping in the corner. The creature had tears in their eyes, much to Po's curiosity and confusion.
"Weird. How did a fox end up all the way here of all places?"
He quietly tiptoed over to the fox and got a better look at them. They definitely didn't look like any kind of fox he'd seen before.
"Meema..."
Po quirked a brow. He couldn't quite understand what the fox was referring to.
"Meema? Is that his mom or something?"
Wanting to get to the bottom of things, he took a deep breath and boldly tapped his finger on the fox's forehead. They slowly, but surely started to wake up, as Po anticipated.
"Hey. Wake up, little guy."
With that, Zorua's eyes fluttered open. He, to his horror, found himself face-to-face with a large white face that he had never seen before. The Dark-type handled it as well as anyone would in that scenario.
"AHHHHHHH!"
"AHHHHHHH!"
Out of shock, Po fell backward and plopped himself down on the floor. Zorua, meanwhile, stood on all fours and growled at him with malicious intent.
"You won't be eating me, you fat monster! My Meema will kick your big flabby butt if anything happens to me."
"Woah, woah, woah! Time out here, kid! Who said I was going to eat you?" The panda stood back up and frowned. "And no need to insult me. Words do hurt, you know?"
"Well, you're huge, funny-looking, and don't resemble any Pokémon I've seen before. Why should I trust anything you have to say?!"
Po vividly recalled the word this fox just mentioned. However, knowing about it made their existence even more confusing. Pokémon? Isn't that what Lucario called himself last night?
He then sighed, rubbing a hand over his face in sudden exasperation. First he was being insulted by his idols and now, some random little Pokémon that may or not have a connection to Lucario.
"Sheesh. Sounds like your Meema didn't teach you any manners."
Zorua stamped his foot on the ground. "She did so! She told me not to talk to strangers too!"
"Okay, look, I'm sure you're old enough to know that not all strangers are bad, kid. Otherwise, how else are you gonna meet anyone?" Po replied in a much calmer tone. "I know you're probably scared right now, but really, I mean you no harm. I'm not here to hurt you, bud."
Hearing this, the Tricky Fox Pokémon became a bit less on-edge. He tilted his head to the side and stepped closer to where Po stood.
"You promise?"
The panda smiled and jokingly shook his stomach a little. It jiggled from side to side in his hands.
"I mean, just look at me. Do I really look like I can hurt anyone with this thing in the way?"
Zorua, to his surprise, started chuckling at this joke. He then coughed in a half-hearted attempt to hide it, but Po caught on pretty quick. "Who... and what are you exactly?"
"My name's Po and I'm a panda. Not exactly a normal one, given everything that happened yesterday, but I used to be." The Dragon Warrior said with a shrug. "Although, come to think of it, I should be asking you that same question."
The Dark-type Pokémon nervously looked down at his feet before speaking again. He had no idea what a panda was, but given Po's behavior, it didn't matter much to him.
"I'm... erm... Zorua. I'm a Dark-type Pokémon... and so is my Meema. I got separated from her somehow and ended up here, or whatever this place is."
"Dang. You must have no clue where you are then, huh?"
"N-No. I don't even know where to even find her."
Zorua sniffled, trying to hold back his tears.
"Hey, no worries. Believe it or not, we have another Pokémon here who can sense people's energy and stuff. Lucario should be able to find your Meema in no time."
The young fox's sadness was now replaced with fear. That name was the last one he ever wanted to hear about.
"L-Lucario? He's here?!"
Growling, Zorua quickly hopped away from Po and got into a fighting stance. His gray tail seemed to puff up in tandem with his emotional state.
"Sorry, Po, but anyone who's a friend of that bully, is no friend of mine. I can find Meema all by myself! I won't let her be hurt again!"
To no one's surprise, the panda was now even more confused than before. A "bully" was the last term he'd used to describe Lucario, considering their prior conversations with one another. Master Shifu fit that word a bit more, from his perspective.
"Wait a second! What do you mean—"
Zorua, unfortunately, refused to explain himself further. Glowing with pink energy, he somersaulted into the air and transformed into an exact copy of Po's body. The only thing that distinguished him from the original was his gray fox tail. He also hung out his hands like a cat.
Po was stunned speechless. He pointed from Zorua to himself in quick succession.
"I mean, not gonna lie, that's pretty dang awesome, but what are you exactly planning to do as me... against me? See who can go down the stairs faster?"
"No. More like this!" Noticing that Po's defenses were left wide open, Zorua lit up his fist with white energy and socked him across the face. "Feint Attack!"
"GWAAAGH! Doh!"
The poor panda was sent flying directly on top of the two posts he inspected beforehand. His legs were forcibly placed into an imperfect split, much to Po's clear dismay.
"M-My tenders..."
Zorua giggled mischievously. "Hehehe! Talk about a clean split, huh?"
Po tried to lift up his legs, but no matter how hard he tried, they wouldn't budge. Unless someone picked him up, he'd be stuck there for quite a while.
"Okay, ha ha. Very funny, kid. Now, can you be a pal and help me out here? I can't move my legs right now."
Zorua used his new panda body to cross both arms and smirk condescendingly.
"Nope. You deserve to be stuck there. That's what you get for being friends with a complete jerk like Lucario."
"Jerk? No offense, Zorua, but have you even met the guy? He's been nice to me since the day I first got here."
The disguised Tricky Fox Pokémon shook his head in disbelief.
"I don't care! He hurt my Meema! I'll never, ever forgive him for that!"
Po could tell there was more to the story than Zorua was letting on. Lucario didn't seem like the person to hurt anyone without good reason. Otherwise, he'd probably have sided with the Furious Five and beat him up for being chosen as the Dragon Warrior.
Then again, there was a also chance that Lucario went through some significant changes overtime. Maybe the version of him that Zorua knew didn't exist anymore.
"I think you should actually meet him before saying something like that, kid. There's a side to every story, you know?"
Zorua narrowed his eyes and glared down at the spot where Po was positioned.
"And what if his side is the wrong one? Ever think of that?"
Suddenly, in that exact moment, the doors to the Training Hall were opened. Lucario, Shifu, and the Furious Five all stood at the entrance, looking shocked by what was taking place.
"O-Oh my god! There's two of them now..." The elderly red panda gasped. His worst nightmare was coming to life right before his very eyes.
"I assure you that there's still only one Po, Master Shifu." Lucario narrowed his own red eyes and glanced over at the disguised panda's tail. "The other one is an illusion."
Knowing exactly what to do, the Aura Pokémon sprinted forward and plucked Zorua's tail. This caused him to change back into his normal form in a flash of pink energy.
"N-No fair! You spoiled the fun, killjoy!" The little fox whined. He would have tried to copy someone else's appearance if not for Lucario picking him up by the scruff of his neck. "Hey! Let me go!"
"Is this another Pokémon, Lucario?" asked Tigress in confusion. She was a bit weirded out by his small, diminutive appearance compared to normal baby foxes.
Viper warmly grinned. "Aw. He looks kinda cute."
"Being cute doesn't mean he's harmless, Viper. Even the smallest of Pokémon can be stronger than I am... with enough training, of course."
"Well, that's validating, I guess." Mantis chuckled in a somewhat proud manner. "How'd this little guy get here, anyway?"
Zorua growled and continued trying to break away from Lucario's firm grip.
"I'm not telling you guys anything! I don't wanna talk to the bad Pokémon who separated me from Meema!"
Lucario frowned. "Meema? Who are you talking about?"
Looking deeper into Zorua's teal eyes, a memory from the Fighting/Steel-type Pokémon's past came flooding back to him. He remembered a female Pokémon in red armor violently striking him and Sir Aaron from all sorts of different directions. It was a day he wished could be forgotten.
He paused for a moment to clutch his aching head.
"No. You're... that Zoroark's son, aren't you? The one who served the Red Army all those years ago."
"Duh! You fought Meema right before I showed up here! It's your fault that I don't know where she is right now." Zorua huffed whilst upturning his nose.
Lucario then recalled the information Master Oogway told him yesterday night. He mentioned that a Pokémon would contribute to Tai Lung's escape from Chorh-Gom Prison. Perhaps there was a chance that Zoroark could be the one behind this breakout.
That possibly, however, brought up several questions. If there were, in fact, dark voids transporting Pokémon like her and Zorua to this world, then how did they manage to distort space and time like this? Moreover, what even caused their creation in the first place? Zoroark, after all, was an opponent he faced in Rota hundreds of years ago. The Illusion Fox Pokémon shouldn't have been able to arrive here, yet somehow, she did.
He loosened his grip on Zorua's fur and trembled a little.
It appears that the past has caught up with me. I suppose I'll have to confront it far earlier than I anticipated...
Admittedly, that confrontation with Zoroark was almost a blur to him these days. It happened not long before Sir Aaron sealed him inside his staff and sacrificed himself to save the Tree of Beginning. He didn't even recall there being a true conclusion to their fight, much to his slight confusion.
Tigress noticed his change in demeanor and said, "Explain yourself, Lucario. Who is this Zoroark person you mentioned?"
"And what's a Red Army? Seems a little basic as far as names go, don't you think?" Crane added in a somewhat joking manner.
Unfortunately for him, this situation was nothing to joke about. Lucario darted his eyes from left to right, trying to figure out a way he could explain himself.
"You all remember my master, Sir Aaron, right?"
Monkey scratched the top of his head. "Yeah. You called him an Aura Guardian or something, if I'm remembering correctly."
"Yes. As Aura Guardians, we both served a kingdom known as Rota and lived within Cameran Place ever since I was young. There, we protected its ruler, Queen Rin, and her subjects from outside threats." "Such threats included the Red and Green Armies."
"Ah, so you have experience with war. No wonder you're so skilled when it comes to combat." Shifu muttered aloud.
"Those skills were necessary to fight off the Pokémon subjugated by these two armies. Neither side cared how much destruction or bloodshed they caused. They would have laid waste to themselves and all of Rota if not for Sir Aaron's intervention. My master tried to maintain peace no matter the costs, even if that included his own life."
Zorua squirmed in place. "That's not true! Meema and the Red Army were good guys trying to do the right thing. She told me so."
"How naïve! There are no so-called 'good guys' in war, child. Each side of a conflict always has their own reasons to fight that differs from the enemy. In battle, neither one can be described as necessarily good or evil. They are all guilty in some way." The short red panda scoffed.
The Dark-type Pokémon grew a little quiet after hearing this response.
"But Meema's so kind and gentle. There's no way she could have done bad things in that... war you keep talking about."
Lucario, at first, said nothing. He gently set Zorua on the ground and looked down at him. His expression could almost be described as sympathetic.
"I'm afraid there's a lot you don't know about your Meema, little one."
"Tsk. How could you know more about her than I do?! You're the one who injured her with that Aura Sphere thing!"
"It's just as Master Shifu told you. I had my own reasons to fight back then." The Aura Pokémon grunted. "She was going to kill my master, so what else could I have done to defend myself? Just let him die?"
Zorua hung his mouth open in shock. "K-Kill... your master?"
Po, while stuck doing the splits, tilted his head to look over at Lucario.
"Woah! Is that true, man?!"
"It is. Zoroark was the Red Army's deadliest subordinate; a Pokémon trained exclusively to assassinate enemy soldiers and political figures. I'm not certain torture they subjected her to beforehand, but whatever it was, it turned her into a living, breathing killing machine... and one I thought I'd never have to face in combat."
Tigress's frown slightly deepened. "Then how did you end up facing her?"
"One day, word got out about Sir Aaron using his powers as an Aura Guardian to end the war. The Red Army's general, in an attempt to ensure his people's victory, sent Zoroark to kill Aaron before he could head for the Tree of Beginning. She managed to ambush him late at night, but luckily, I was there to fend her off. It wasn't something she expected to happen, supposedly." He recounted in great detail. "We fought for what seemed like hours. I had the type advantage, yet she used moves like Flamethrower to counteract her greater weaknesses. In the end, I blasted her stomach with an Aura Sphere at pointblank range and then, she somehow vanished without a trace..."
"Vanished? Like she just went... poof?" Monkey inquired while outstretching his hands.
"More or less. Apart from some small traces of blood, I never saw her again. Sir Aaron sacrificed himself not too long after that, and both armies went their separate ways."
Tigress crossed her arms. "None of this explains why Zorua is here, though. It doesn't appear that he died like you did, Lucario."
"Y-You're dead?!" Zorua cried.
"In a sense, I was, but that's beside the point," The Fighting/Steel-type shook his head, getting more concerned by the minute. "Master Oogway has recently seen a vision of multiple Pokémon arriving to this world through... voids of darkness. There's a chance that Zoroark didn't vanish at all. She could have entered one of these voids and arrived here, unaffected by the concurrent passage of time between worlds."
Shifu's eyes widened in horror. He did not like the dark implications that this theory brought up. "Oogway also told me that a sudden darkness would release Tai Lung from his shackles. Are you saying that this Zoroark will—"
"That's correct. I believe she broke him out of Chorh-Gom Prison... in an attempt to resume our fight."
Everyone looked dumbfounded by this revelation. Po, on the other hand, would have peed his pants a little if he weren't stuck right now.
"So you're saying that a crazy fox assassin and a leopard bent on destroying the entire Valley are now teaming up together... as we speak?!" Mantis choked out. "Welp, looks like my chances of finding a good wife to eat my head have gone from slim to none. Just perfect."
"But isn't the war over, like you said? Why would Zoroark have anything against you personally?" Viper asked in puzzlement.
"There's a lot of things about Zoroark that are a mystery to me. I didn't even know she had a son until now, in fact."
Zorua rolled his eyes. "Liar! If you didn't know I was around, that explosion from your Aura Sphere wouldn't have hit me so hard."
"What did you say?"
"I was there when you shot that Aura Sphere at Meema. The last thing I remember was getting hit by part of the explosion and then waking up at this place."
Lucario faltered a bit. Apart from himself, Sir Aaron, and Zoroark, he had no idea there was anyone else near the battlefield. Did Zorua's presence cause to his mother to be dealt that kind of damage in the first place?
"That's not good."
"Was there anything good about this situation to begin with?" Po grumbled.
"I have a feeling your Meema believes I killed you, Zorua. She's out for revenge against myself... and likely all of you for being associated with me."
"So what? That means Meema's coming for me! I'll finally get to see her again!"
"Vengeance can change a person for the worst, my boy. Your mother might no longer be the same person you knew. She'll be determined to avenge you through Lucario's death. Tell me, is that really something you'd want to see?"
The Tricky Fox Pokémon's ears ever-so-slightly drooped from sadness. He loved his Meema more than anything, but if what Lucario said about her was, indeed, true, he wasn't sure if he wanted to see the real Zoroark again. There was a reason she didn't let Zorua come with her on missions before that incident took place.
"I don't know..."
Seeing the boy's now-tearful expression, Viper slithered over to him and wrapped her tail around his small body. "Don't worry, sweetie. It's okay."
Tigress looked down at the floor. She had been training for this day her whole life. As Shifu's adoptive daughter, a fight against Tai Lung was something she needed to experience firsthand.
"How long do we have, Master?"
"Not long. Tai Lung and this Zoroark individual could be here any day now, especially if they're both as fast as Lucario is." Master Shifu grimaced. "Looks I won't be able to scare away the panda as I initially planned. I have no other choice, but to train him."
The others awkwardly stared at Po. He was still struggling to free his legs from the two posts. "You're stuck, aren't you?"
"Me? Stuck? Pfft. Don't be ridiculous. Just thought I'd warm a little."
He halfheartedly stretched his arms and his legs in an attempt to act serious. Shifu, obviously, did not look convinced.
"Help him."
Crane slumped his wings a little. "Oh dear."
He slowly walked over to the panda, grabbed onto his pants, and flipped him over the lefthand post. Po's back slammed into the ground, but he managed to stand up straight without much difficulty.
"Fyew! Thank you. I thought my legs were going to fall off."
"Don't mention it." The Crane-style master muttered.
"No, really, I appreciate—"
"Ever."
Po then covered his mouth and tiptoed over to where Lucario was standing.
"How did you get like that, anyway?"
"Hehehe! I punched him in the face using my Feint Attack move." Zorua giggled mischievously.
"Because I was caught off-guard! I could have taken it if I knew you were going to attack."
Shifu rested a hand over his face in annoyance. He couldn't believe the Dragon Warrior was caught off guard by a single child.
"That shouldn't matter. A true master of kung fu can take on any attack without any room for error, panda." The master proclaimed. "It's obvious that Tai Lung eclipses you in terms of skill, power, and talent... but I'm sure you already knew that, hm?"
Po nervously rubbed his neck. "Yeah. You don't have to remind me."
"A student is only as good as their teacher, Shifu. I'm sure you know that as well." Lucario replied.
"Fine! Let's get started with the panda... I mean, Dragon Warrior's training then. We can't afford to waste any more time."
Po placed a fist into his open palm and bowed. "Hahaha! Excellent!"
Frowning, Shifu snapped his fingers and gathered everyone to the Training Hall's central courtyard. It was a rectangle made up of multiple small stones. Po stood on one side while Viper stood on the other.
"What gives? Po doesn't look like a dragon to me." The little Dark-type stated.
"Dragon Warrior is a title given to the chosen protector of the Valley of Peace, Zorua. Po was only given it yesterday." Viper explained to him from afar.
"Looks like this valley's doomed then. Teehee."
The panda's jaw dropped. "Hey! I am right here, you know?"
"As long as Lucario, Shifu, and Master Oogway are around, that won't happen." Tigress calmly assured the Tricky Fox Pokémon.
With Zoroark inbound, Lucario himself wasn't sure if he could agree with that assessment just yet. It was then that Po's spar with Viper began.
"Are you ready?"
"I was born ready."
Before Po could even move a muscle, the snake swiped at his legs, hit him into the air, and smacked him back down to the ground in mere seconds. Po ended up landing directly on his head, causing Lucario to look away in slight discomfort.
"Ow!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, brother! I thought you said you were ready." Viper said sarcastically.
"That was awesome! Let's go again!"
Zorua found the panda's antics somewhat pathetic, yet entertaining at the same time. It seemed like he endure take all kinds of different attacks, including his own.
"Tehehe! He's a real glutton for punishment, I see."
"And a glutton for a number of other things too." Mantis chuckled.
For the next few hours or so, Po was mercilessly beaten down by Monkey, Crane, and Mantis. He was hit by bo staffs, bounced around in the Jade Tortoise of Wisdom once more, and slammed into the cold hard ground by a warrior much smaller than him. Tigress, on the other hand, refused to give Po the satisfaction of even fighting her. She knew what the outcome would be.
Even by sunset, Po refused to give up and wished to continue training. Lucario found this level of endurance admirable, but Shifu did not. A part of him still wanted the panda to quit, so someone else could become the Dragon Warrior and defeat Tai Lung.
"Let's see how you do against me, panda. I now see that I've been taking it far too easy on you."
"Seriously?! Alright! Let's go!"
The Furious Five nervously glanced at one another. The poor guy had no idea what he was going up against.
"Step forth."
After taking one step, Shifu effortlessly spun Po's body around like a weightless ragdoll. He then tossed him into the ground and cracked his knuckles to an insanely rough degree.
"The true path to victory is to find your opponent's weakness and make him suffer for it." The master exclaimed while holding Po's head up by the neck.
"O-Oh yeah!"
Shifu then smashed him into the ground using one arm.
"To take his strength and use it against him." He let loose a barrage of kicks against the panda's chin. Directly afterwards, he spun him around and slammed his body into the ground again. "Until he finally falls or quits!"
The red panda grabbed ahold of Po's nostrils, causing his voice to sound much more nasally than usual.
"But a real warrior never quits! Don't worry, Master! I will never quit!"
Enraged by this statement, Shifu flung him into the air and kicked him directly across the face. He went flying through the Training Hall's outside doors, causing him to fall straight toward the staircase without any hope of landing safely.
"Oh! AAAHHHHHH!"
Thankfully, Lucario, with the use of Extreme Speed, quickly dashed behind Po and managed to catch him. His injuries would have been a whole lot worse if he weren't there to help him out.
He then used Extreme Speed again to reconvene with everyone else. The panda could barely move at all thanks to Shifu's blows, but he wasn't in terrible shape or anything.
"That's enough. I think you've proved your point, Shifu."
"You shouldn't have intervened. That panda needs to learn discipline if he's to have any hope of defeating Tai Lung!"
"Breaking every single bone in his body is not going to change anything." Lucario glowered. "Let Po rest for now. We can worry about continuing his training tomorrow."
Shifu placed both arms behind his back and took a deep breath. He was struggling to keep himself calm and composed.
"Fine. While you're at it, see what you can do about Zorua. He may be the key to quelling Zoroark's thirst for revenge." The red panda advised. "For now, I'm going to go... meditate and clear my mind a little."
Without another word, he headed back to the Jade Palace and called it a night. Lucario was sympathetic when it came to his connection to Tai Lung, but this level of brutality being dealt against Po was not something he could accept. A kung fu master as old as Shifu should know better.
"It's good that you stopped him. With his injuries, I don't think the panda would have been able to make it back up those steps." said Tigress. She would have tried talking to Master Shifu, but given the situation at hand, there was nothing more she could say to him.
The South China tiger looked over at Po's barely conscious body. Being repeatedly slammed into the ground wasn't pleasant to say the least.
"You okay, panda?"
"Eh, I'm fine. Probably won't be moving for a while, but I'm fine, I'm fine." Po panted as he gave her a shaky thumbs up. "Thanks for the save there, Lucario. That could have been rough... bouncing down those steps and everything."
Mantis smiled. "Though, it would have been pretty funny too, you have to admit. Hehe."
Viper hissed at him before slithering over to where Zorua sat. He still looked a little nervous around Lucario.
"You're free to stay with us at the student barracks, little one. There's plenty of room there."
The Dark-type took a small step back. "I-I don't know..."
"None of us mean you any harm, Zorua. Your... erm... Meema is coming this way, so you can help us make her surrender peacefully. The last thing I want to do is fight her again, believe me." Lucario promised him. He crouched down, so he was now eyelevel with the unevolved Pokémon.
His teal eyes slightly dropped. There was a kindness in Lucario's gaze that he didn't think was possible before now.
"You... don't seem as bad as I thought, Lucario. Maybe Meema could learn to like you too, if you'll let her."
The Aura Pokémon slightly grinned. "I'll try."
Zorua returned this gesture and prepared to head over to the student barracks with everyone else. Lucario took it upon himself to carry Po over there, as much as it hurt to do so.
"How about I treat you guys to some of my dad's noodles later? My treat."
Tigress deadpanned. "Even while injured, you're still thinking about food. Typical."
The rest of the Furious Five, Zorua, and Lucario chuckled at this remark as they all left the Training Hall behind. It'd be difficult not to think about Tai Lung and Zoroark's hot pursuit toward the Valley of the Peace, but they would try their best not to worry about it for now.
Unbeknownst to them, however, Zoroark was much closer to arriving than they thought. She'd be heading over to the Jade Palace in a number of hours and due to her being disguised as Zeng, no one would be able to see it coming.
It was a night that would either end in forgiveness and redemption or death for everyone involved. Everything was dependent on whether or not Zoroark discovered that her son was, in actuality, alive.
*And that's the end of Chapter 8! I liked writing Zorua's interactions with Po and everyone else. As I mentioned before, I based him off the Zorua from Zoroark - Master of Illusion, so he'll be pretty mischievous in later chapters and story arcs. I also enjoyed explaining more of Zoroark's backstory and why she assumed Zorua was "killed" by Lucario in Chapter 3. Making her an assassin who tried to kill Sir Aaron works with what Shifu had to say about wars and different sides, I think.
Po, obviously, didn't fall down the stairs this time, so that acupuncture scene from the original movie will be cut. So Chapter 9 will include the kitchen scene, Oogway's death, and, finally, Lucario's fight with Zoroark. It'll be a very intense chapter overall, so I hope you guys are excited for it. Until then, take care and stay safe. I promise that the next chapter won't take as long to write.