when seungkwan woke up the next morning, it was as if someone had cracked open his skull. a very dramatic description, but that was how it felt for the young boy when he forced his eyes open and saw his friends dogpiling onto vernon that morning.
the various screams coming from his friends was enough reason for him to pretend he was still asleep. a smart person would have just left the room, but seungkwan was in no position to be standing up so soon. he still felt a little nauseous, and when he heard soonyoung approaching him, loud giggles and grabby hands, he knew he was done for.
seungkwan made sure to lock the bathroom door when he shoved soonyoung aside. he felt bad for ditching his friends last night, and he felt even worse for them staying up worrying for him. if he was about to spew horrendously into the toilet bowl, he'd like to keep what little shred of his dignity he had left and do it by himself.
according to soonyoung, when seungkwan left the club, the entire group gathered and went back to the hotel. the older boy didn't go into much detail after that, already knowing that seungkwan would feel even worse if he knew the full extent of their worrying the night before.
you got back here safe, and that's all that matters, soonyoung whispered to seungkwan when they were all going to sleep. the thirteen of them decided to stay in jeonghan's room that night, piling into the two mattresses, the ones unable to squeeze in having to sleep on the couch or the floor. seungkwan insisted he would sleep on the floor, feeling like he had already caused enough trouble for his friends that night.
with the guilt still weighing heavy in seungkwan's mind, he had no choice but to go back to his room and get ready to eat breakfast with his friends. he may have had to lean onto chan on the way back to their room, but he still got ready, which was a feat in itself.
what he hadn't expected was for wonwoo and mingyu to sweep him away when they reached the restaurant. his friends had no problem with this, as long as seungkwan was nearby. seungkwan was dragged away by his older friends as they tucked him into a table in the corner of the restaurant, far away from the other patrons who were loudly chatting that saturday morning.
seungkwan stared back at wonwoo and mingyu, who sat down in the seats opposite him, the couple talking amicably about what they should eat. the young boy just sat back as wonwoo called over a waiter and ordered for them, smiling warmly at seungkwan once he finished.
wonwoo put his hands on the table, clasping them together as he grinned cheekily at seungkwan. "so, seungkwan. it's time for breakfast and details."
seungkwan groaned. "don't say it like it's a show."
"oh, it is, and i'm tuning in." wonwoo said with a wink, looking to his left as he elbowed mingyu in the side harshly.
mingyu winced as he clutched his side. he smiled forcibly at seungkwan as he pointed a thumb at wonwoo and said, "he wants to know what happened last night."
wonwoo scoffed, nudging mingyu's shoulder this time as he said, "hey, don't put all of this on me! you want to know what happened just as bad as i do."
mingyu shook his head as he continued to stare at seungkwan. "no, i don't." he said as he shook his hands fervently.
"you literally told me you were dying to know what happened. you spent the whole night ranting about how you hoped seungkwan was safe and that you wished you dragged seungkwan away when you had the chance." wonwoo said to mingyu in a hushed whisper, chuckling quietly as mingyu sent him a glare.
seungkwan bit his lower lip as he looked between the two of them. he looked unsure as he mumbled, "i don't know, guys..."
mingyu couldn't deny his curiosity, and maybe his approach wasn't the right one, but he decided to joke around as he said, "not to be that person, but you kinda owe me..."
seungkwan, who was fiddling around with the napkin in his hand, furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at mingyu. "owe you?" he asked, tilting his head slightly.
yeah, mingyu knew his approach was bad, but he had decided to commit to the bit. he smiled awkwardly as he said, "well, you kissed my boyfriend last night."
seungkwan's face fell as he looked at mingyu. he reached out to hold mingyu's hand across the table, feeling remorse flooding his body at the memory from the night before. "hyung–" he began, halting when he saw the playful smile on mingyu's face. he scrunched up his face in annoyance as he started to defend himself. "i was drunk!" he pointed a finger at mingyu as his voice raised again, "you said it was fine!"
"well, it wasn't an invitation to kiss him again." mingyu joked, the corner of his lips twitching as he tried to hold his smile. he was trying to pass his words off as lighthearted, and anyone else (wonwoo) would have read it that way, but him and seungkwan knew better. whether it was the jealousy of seeing seungkwan kissing wonwoo or watching wonwoo about to kiss seungkwan back, he didn't want them kissing again.
seungkwan sat up in his seat, looking offended as he glared at mingyu. "i wasn't–" he shouted, his face falling as he glanced between the two of them. he huffed quietly, looking down at his lap as he mumbled, "i wasn't going to, hyung."
wonwoo glanced between the two of them, unsure of what to say and especially confused by the tension in the atmosphere. the three of them let out a collective breath of relief once the food arrived, quickly digging into their food as they avoided each others' gazes.
seungkwan couldn't stand the silence, so in between biting his food and drinking his iced americano that wonwoo ordered for him, he looked down at the table as he casually said, "we made out and i pissed him off, so he kicked me out of his place."
a small part of him felt obligated to tell wonwoo, only because it was the older boy's birthday, and he was insisting to know the details. he wouldn't tell them everything, of course, but he would tell them enough so it would hopefully satiate their curiosity.
wonwoo smiled amusedly, knowing that seungkwan would give in eventually. he didn't look up at the boy as he continued to eat. "okay, how did you piss him off?" he asked nonchalantly.
seungkwan laughed awkwardly, glancing between the two of them with a sigh. he was thankful they didn't notice his lingering stare as he said, "i'd rather not say."
"why? is it really embarrassing?"
"... yes."
"then you have to tell us."
"i'm good, actually."
mingyu sighed to himself, trying his hardest to tune them out but finding his efforts to be unsuccessful. he rolled his eyes, keeping his head down as he asked, "was it embarrassing for you or for him?"
seungkwan raised his eyebrow at mingyu. for someone who pretended to be uninterested, he just had to ask the most loaded question.
seungkwan stuck his tongue in his cheek as he said a simple, "both." and went back to his food.
there was a beat of silence. then two. before the table could settle back into a comfortable silence, wonwoo sat up in his seat as he asked, "okay, well, was he at least a good kisser?"
"not really." seungkwan said with no hesitation. the three laughed at that, finally able to settle into a comfortable silence after seungkwan's last remark.
◇※◇※◇※◇※◇※◇※◇※◇
later that day, the group decided to stay at the hotel to throw wonwoo a small party, just for the thirteen of them. if this decision was decided with seungkwan's fiasco from last night in mind, none of the young boy's friends let him know.
seungkwan and chan were on cake duty, and they made sure to get a chocolate cake for the older boy, knowing it was his favorite flavor. since they were on a time crunch, they weren't able to get it decorated properly, so they opted to buy cute little black cat cake toppers in hopes it would brighten wonwoo's day.
sure enough, when jeonghan pulled out the cake from the fridge later that night, wonwoo was very happy. he kept poking the cake toppers with a soft smile, cooing quietly in hopes none of his friends would hear him. they did, but they just let him have his moment. they'd be sure to tease him tomorrow.
when it was time for wonwoo to open his presents, seungkwan and mingyu made sure they were first to hand wonwoo their present. the two of them had spent the past few months saving up to buy wonwoo a nice quality camera that the older boy had been raving about for a while. seungkwan himself didn't know much about cameras, so when wonwoo finished thanking them and he began to discuss the specs with mingyu and seokmin, seungkwan just sat back with a smile.
wonwoo took pictures of the group with his new camera, first a few group shots, then a few random pairings. soonyoung, already tipsy at that point, dragged chan into a photo, sloppily kissing the youngest on the cheek, chan only laughing loudly in response as he held soonyoung's shoulders.
then, it was time for photos of the three best friends. first a few with the trio, then seungkwan and wonwoo, with the oldest copying soonyoung's sloppy cheek kiss, the younger boy giggling loudly as he pulled wonwoo closer. then mingyu pulled seungkwan into his chest, wrapping his arms around seungkwan's shoulders as they both faced wonwoo's camera. as seungkwan held mingyu's hands crossed over his chest, he couldn't hide his surprised smile, or even the bright red color tinting the tips of his ears.
and then, it was time for wonwoo and mingyu to take a few photos together. wonwoo insisted seungkwan take them, we want our best friend to take them in wonwoo's words. first it was a few shots of them kissing, which the group loudly booed at, and then eventually led to them just holding each other, limbs tangled together as they sat on the couch.
seungkwan remembered looking at the photo and thinking it was really cute.
as far as birthday parties went, this one was pretty tame. everyone drank a normal amount – seungkwan drank a normal amount. there were no crazy lights or loud music, mostly because they were in a hotel room and wanted to be mindful of their neighbors. they just hung out and ate takeout, exchanging funny stories involving wonwoo from the past few years. all in all, it was very nice.
they all eventually went into their own rooms, some deciding to go out for more drinks as they insisted it was still early. everyone in seungkwan's group were feeling tired, so they decided to stay in for the rest of the night. once inside, they all split up, chan and minghao stayed in the living room, seungkwan went to the balcony for some fresh air, and wonwoo and mingyu went to the bedroom.
seungkwan brought a book outside with him, assuming that he would be outside for a while. the moon dipped between clouds every once in a while, so seungkwan sat in darkness for most of his time out there. there was a balcony light, but he didn't want to stand up and lose his comfy spot in the lounge chair, so he decided to text chan to turn it on for him.
seungkwan continued to read his book, also scrolling through his instagram feed because his attention span was all over the place that night. from above him, he saw a dim light coming from the bedroom, signaling one of his friends turned on one of the lamps in the room. seungkwan sighed, just being reminded that chan never turned the balcony light on.
seungkwan put his bookmark in the book to save his spot and pulled his phone out to text chan, freezing as he felt his phone vibrate. it seemed that chan texted him at that moment. with furrowed eyebrows, he clicked open the text message from the younger boy.
channie:
kwan 🤢🤢🤢
mingyu and wonwoo sound like they're about to fuck
seungkwan froze immediately, dropping his phone into his lap. that explained why they turned the lamp on. seungkwan gasped loudly, feeling the color drain from his face as he scrambled to pick up his phone and hurriedly text chan back.
kwannie:
?????
DO THEY KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE??
channie:
they're in the other room
kwannie:
I KNOW THAT IDIOT
oh god they're NEXT TO ME??
seungkwan groaned loudly, slamming his phone down onto the tiny table next to his seat. he covered his face with his hands, shrieking quietly into his palms as he thought about what was happening behind him. he grabbed his phone as another thought came to him.
kwannie:
WHERE IS MYUNGHO HYUNG AT??
channie:
out here with me
kwannie:
WHAT DO WE DO?
channie:
idk
cry
that's the only option ig
kwannie:
here's what we do:
you start crying
channie:
LMAOOO
kwannie:
and they stop and go out to the living room like "omg chan what's wrong :("
channie:
shit i'm kinda considering it
kwannie:
DO WE LIKE,,, LEAVE??
TAKE A STROLL AT THIS TIME OR
channie:
AT MIDNIGHT??
kwannie:
wait
are you sure they aren't just talking
channie:
hyung i can hear them making out
like,,,, heavily
it's disgusting
kwannie:
god we should just leave
seungkwan quickly stood up and gathered his things in his hands. he quietly cursed his luck that this would be happening the one night they decided to stay in. as he reached for the door knob, he cursed loudly, remembering that he left his key card inside of the bedroom from when he was changing earlier.
seungkwan huffed loudly as he sat back down in his former seat, tossing his book onto the table as he pulled out his phone and continued to text chan.
kwannie:
MY KEY CARD IS IN THE ROOM
AND I ALSO NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM
WHY DID THE BATHROOM HAVE TO BE CONNECTED TO THE BEDROOM
channie:
EVERY TIME IT GETS QUIET I CNA HEAR THE NOISES
AHHHHHHHH
HELP
kwannie:
GOD
I can't hear SHIT thankfully
channie:
I CAN'T DO THIS
seungkwan furrowed his eyebrows as he heard the loud laugh of his younger friend in the other room. he was thankful for the distraction as he texted chan again.
kwannie:
WHY AR EYIU LAUGHING
channie:
just cursing my luck
hyung is so lucky he has his headphones in
kwannie:
WHAT'S HAPPENING I LITERALLT CAN'T HEAR NAHTHING OUT HERE
channie:
he doesn't have to be subjected to this
COME IN HERE
kwannie:
HAAHSJJDKLO NO???
THEY'LL HEAR ME COME INSIDE
channie:
SUFFER WITH MEEEE
kwannie:
I'LL GET YELLWD AT FOR COCKBLOCKING OR SOMETHJNG
channie:
PLS COCKBLOCK PLEASEEE
JUST COME IN HERE QUIETLY
kwannie:
NO
let's just leave
take hyung with us
channie:
where the fuck are we gonna go at 1 am???
kwannie:
IDK
DO YOU WANT TO KEEP LISTENING TO THEM??
channie:
JUST COME IN HERE!!!
kwannie:
NO
god i have to use the bathroom
THEY FIND OUT I'M NOT SHARING THE ROOM WITH THEM TONIGHT AND THIS IS WHAT THEY DO???
seungkwan locked his phone and tossed it onto the table, dropping his head into his hands as he leaned forward in his seat. he ignored the phone buzzing beside him as his chest began to rise and fall rapidly. he cursed himself loudly as he felt his eyes begin to well up with tears for maybe the thousandth time that week.
something about that balcony just drew out his tears. or maybe it was the thought of his best friends, that he knew he had feelings for, being intimate in the room behind him. but, no, it was the balcony.
seungkwan tried his hardest to focus on other things, other sounds. like cars honking on the street, or the loud saturday night crowd that drifted up to the balcony. even the pesky mosquito that kept biting him that was buzzing around his ear. nothing was working. thankfully, he couldn't hear mingyu and wonwoo in the other room. if he could, he definitely would have lost his mind at that point.
seungkwan knew, if he peeked his head inside the window just a little, he would be able to see them. that thought alone drove him over the edge. they really were being intimate together, perhaps for the first time, and their friends were in the other room. seungkwan, who was on the balcony, was closest to their vicinity. and they don't even seem to care.
of course, they don't care. they're in love.
seungkwan froze, pulling his head out of his hands as he looked up at the sky. he laughed loudly, pathetically, at himself as the thought circled his mind, puncturing his heart with every repetition.
they're in love.
they probably didn't even know it yet, but they were. they were best friends, and they'd said i love you to each other plenty of times before. but it was different now, and there really was no going back after they tell each other that their love wasn't just friendly anymore.
seungkwan imagined wonwoo telling mingyu he loved him. he would probably have a bashful smile on his face when he told mingyu, not wanting it to be something dramatic, wanting it to be casual as he told mingyu. mingyu probably had the same smile on his face as he said it back.
and seungkwan knew it was too soon. they'd only been dating for a month. but he knew that wouldn't stop them. he really hoped it had, hoped they would have spent more time thinking about it, maybe thought of their other options. which was wrong. they didn't have other options. seungkwan was just in the background in a giant fit of jealousy.
and seungkwan didn't feel like he had other options, either.
as he was sobbing to himself, he thought about how things could have been different if he had confessed to wonwoo a long time ago, maybe he wouldn't have been with mingyu in the other room. maybe it would have been seungkwan in the room instead.
seungkwan was heavily considering sleeping on the balcony that night because he desperately wanted to avoid the both of them. he didn't end up sleeping out there, but he spent a considerably long time out there.
even as seungkwan watched the sunrise the next morning, an activity that usually warmed his heart, he felt empty. hollow.