My head is pounding and my mouth is dry, the taste of alcohol still lingering on my tongue as my body forces me awake.
"jj?" I groan quietly as my eyes barely open, not even having time to register my surroundings when I hear a voice next to me.
"Please don't call me that" they grumble, the bed shifting from their weight as they roll over.
My eyes shoot open, to see that I'm in none other than Rafe's bedroom.
In his bed.
Great.
I lift the covers up just a little, peaking under for just a second to confirm my suspicions.
I'm naked.
I lift my head up to see our clothes left scattered in a trail leading from the door.
"This is bad, we shouldn't have done this" i begin to stress, sitting up to see Rafe looking back at me, seemingly not having a care in the world.
"That is not what you were saying last night"
I shoot him a look as I shuffle off of the bed, wrapping a bedsheet tightly around my bare body.
"That was last night, and I was drunk" I mutter as I begin grabbing my clothes from the floor.
Just being back in this room again, seeing his things, smelling his scent, it's all too much for my hungover brain to comprehend.
I could've slept with anyone last night, why'd it have to be him of all people.
"Where the hell is my tee-shirt"
"That might've ended up coming off before we got into the room" he chuckles softly, his voice still raspy from just waking up.
"You've got to be kidding me" I whisper in frustration as I swing open his bedroom door before thinking about the fact that someone could see me.
Luck really isn't on my side today, because Ward just walked out of his office, leaving me standing there like a deer caught in headlights.
My eyes go wide before I quickly retrieve my pink top from the ground, swiftly closing the door before either of us could say anything.
I can hear Rafe laughing from the bed, clearly having caught that little interaction between me and his dad.
"It's not funny Rafe, he'll tell my dad then I'll never hear the end of it"
He just hums out tiredly, completely dismissing my words as he sits up on the bed a little more.
"Stop being so over dramatic"
"I'm not being over dramatic" I begin as I start to pull my clothes on, making sure to keep my body facing away from him as I do it.
"I just don't want him telling jj"
He lets out a dry chuckle followed by a scoff.
"Why do you even care if he finds out" he asks, his tone accusatory and sharp.
"Because he's not exactly your biggest fan...for obvious reasons" i reply as if he never knew that already. Turning back around once I'm fully dressed in last night's clothes.
There's a moment of silence between us as I straighten myself out, my fingers running through the messiness of my hair.
I'm definitely not about to go ask Sarah for a hairbrush.
I can hear him tapping away on his phone, his eyes thankfully not glued to me for once.
I begin to think of last night, racking my brain to try figure out what on earth happened.
I remember small details, more specifically the sex than anything else.
"Why did we end up coming back here? Wasn't there empty bedrooms at the party" I ask him curiously, but not really sure I want to know the answer.
His eyes flicker from his phone to my face, the hint of a smirk barely visible on his lips.
"We fucked there too" he chuckles, making my entire face drop and my jaw go slack.
Fuzzy memories are there, the bland room, the muffled music, and well, the sex too.
"Twice actually" he continues, a smirk growing on his face now, not even trying to hide the fact he's enjoying this.
"What?? Where?"
"The bathroom"
"how romantic" I roll my eyes sarcastically.
"Oh trust me, it was. You couldn't stop moaning my name" he teases me, making my cheeks grow red before I quickly look away from him.
I occupy myself with getting my shoes on, trying my hardest not to think about anything he's just said.
"You're actually leaving?" He asks in a more serious tone, moving his body so he's sat on the edge of the bed, thankfully wearing a pair of boxers.
I look back at him, nodding my head slowly.
"You're fucking leaving? After everything that happened last night you're just up and going?!" He exclaims, his voice raised slightly louder than what it was before.
I flinch a little, taken aback by his complete switch of demeanour.
"What did you think was going to happen Rafe? That we'd get back together?" I snap back, my tone patronising and cold.
His face hardens as he glares at me, seeming as though he's caught off guard by how I spoke back to him.
"Watch your fucking tone with me. You think now that we aren't together you can speak to me like that?" He growls as he stands up from the bed, his height making him so much more intimidating to me now.
"Yeah, actually I can. Like you said, we aren't together so I don't owe you shit Rafe" I shrug, acting as if this means absolutely nothing to me, which couldn't be further from the truth.
I'm actually a little shocked that I'm maintaining the courage to speak back to him. if this was a month ago I would've been cowering away from him, too scared to do nothing but agree.
He scowls down at me, a muscle in his jaw twitching.
This really would be a lot easier if he had a shirt on, I can barely think clearly when he's stood in front of me wearing next to nothing.
"You expect me to just let you leave? God you're more stupid than I remember"
I chuckle dryly, shaking my head in disbelief.
"Oh sorry I never knew me being held hostage was part of your seduction process Rafe" I snap back sarcastically.
"I can't just let you go again, I don't think I can live without you" his tone shifting to a somewhat more calm one as his angry expression subsides.
He takes my hand in his, holding it gently as his thumb traces over my skin.
My head is insisting on me to leave, to pull away from him and never go back.
But my heart is drawn to him, a feeling of urgency I've never experienced before.
"We can't Rafe, we are done. This is over" I murmur but despite my words, I've made no attempt to pull away from him yet.
He squeezes my hand a little tighter now, an exasperation expression right back on his face.
"You fucking ended it, I didn't. Who says it's over for me?" He hisses, the grip on my hand so tight that even if I wanted to pull away, I couldn't now.
"You're going to have to move on at some point Rafe"
"Are you over it? Can you seriously say after last night that you're completely done with us?"
I stay quiet for a moment, because I know I'm far from being over him, especially after last night.
But do I really want to go back to all that? Is it really worth it?
"Me not being over you doesn't change the fact that this is wrong Rafe, I left you for a reason and you know that"
His eyes narrow as he drops my hand, letting it fall down by my side once again.
"You fucking told me..." he begins, pointing a finger at me before poking it into my chest harshly. "You fucking told me you'd never leave me. You promised me"
"Rafe I-" I begin, but he almost immediately interrupts me.
"No, I don't want to hear your shit. You lied to me, you're a liar."
"Do I have to remind you of all the shit you put me through?! You smashed my fucking phone, isolated me from all my friends, treated me like I was completely worthless... want me to go on?" I snap at him, feeling the frustration build up more and more inside of me.
He runs a hand down his face, groaning loudly into it.
"And how many times do I have to apologise for that!"
I laugh, I actually laugh.
The sheer audacity of him to think that a single word would fix what happened between us.
"This is a waste of time. I'm going" I mutter, grabbing my phone from the bed and walking towards the bedroom door.
"No, no, please don't go. Annie I need you" he pleads, grabbing my wrist to stop me.
I let out a sigh, trying my best not to stare into his eyes, because I know once I do, it'll only make me want to stay more.
"Don't go" he murmurs as he begins to leave kisses over the palm of my hand.
His kisses don't stop, not that I'm really making any protest against them yet.
I feel him move from my hand and along my arm, making his way up until his lips graze over my shoulder and onto my neck.
I let out a shaky breath once I feel him right on the most sensitive part.
"Please don't go, you don't know how badly I need you" his voice muffled against my skin.
Everything he is doing right now is absolutely killing me, every inch of my body aching for him.
I know how wrong this is, how bad this will eventually turn out for me.
"Rafe" I breathe out, putting my hand onto his chest to softly nudge him away.
"Tell me to stop, tell me you don't want this and I'll let you leave, I'll never bother you again." He talks in almost a whisper as he stares down into my eyes.
If I go, I move on from this, from him.
If I stay, I put up with the consequences that decision unfortunately comes with.
I know I said this would be out tomorrow but I couldn't stop thinking about writing more😭 hope you enjoy this chapter, it's a little longer than usual :)