The bed had become a place of communication for the Blanchett couple. There was rarely silence between the two as they exchanged stories.
Gerard, who was staring at the ceiling absentmindedly, spoke up. He had something to say but seemed hesitant.
"Chloe, in the past... I can't deny that I courted the Archduchess of Anata."
Leila de Anata. He needed to get rid of her shadow over their marriage.
"However, I never thought of you as a substitute for Leila."
"How can I believe that?"
Chloe asked with a pout. She was expressing her feelings openly following her husband's confession before she realized it.
"I don't know why everyone thinks that way, but you and the Archduchess are completely different both in appearance and personality."
And how he felt towards both of them.
Gerard was always nervous whenever Chloe touched him. And yet his body heated up, craving more. It was the same as when they met for the first time.
He also wanted to be a man Chloe could depend on. Therefore, he always acted as the perfect and carefree version of himself after they got married.
It was a feeling he never felt around Leila.
That's how he figured it out. He loved Leila as family and the only friend he'd ever had, but he didn't think of her as a lover.
"Actually, I was wary of you at first. I thought you would take away the only friend I had."
"...I'm sure His Majesty must be quite upset to hear that."
Chloe retorted bluntly.
"Haha, I wasn't fond of Owen back then. When his father suggested that I should be close to the prince everyday, I quite resented him."
Gerard said while rubbing his nose against Chloe's. His wife's jealousy was so cute that he acted that way without realizing it.
"Anyway, I came to realize how bright you were after spending some time together."
"..."
"I realized that I thought about you every chance I got, so I tried to keep my distance."
Gerard laughed at himself thinking back on those days.
"However, I ended up falling in love with the face that came running to me while I was crying, so I failed."
"I came running while you were crying? When did I..."
Chloe, who was puzzled, tried to recall it. One scene immediately came to her mind.
"Don't tell me... when you were stabbed?"
"Yes, that moment."
Her stomach dropped at the sight of her smiling husband. What? He fell in love with her back then?
"How could you say that? Whenever I think about that moment..."
Chloe pushed her husband's chest away as he hugged her tightly.
"I don't want to see that scar."
"Do you not like it, my Lady?"
Gerard asked while pointing at his waist.
"Of course, who likes seeing it? The scar you got for saving another woman?"
"But... This is because of you, Chloe."
"What? What do you mean?"
Chloe asked as if telling him to say it again.
She thought he was blaming her for letting him get hurt even after having a precognitive dream. Of course, he wouldn't do that.
"It's true that I went to save the Archduchess then, but I never thought I'd be stabbed."
"?"
"I stepped in because, obviously, I had the confidence to overpower them. Just because I got shot by an arrow, my swordsmanship skill wouldn't waver."
What was the point of telling her this? Chloe looked ridiculously at Gerard, who puffed out his chest proudly.
She wondered where Abel's bravado came from, but they were father and son after all.
"The reason I was stabbed was because I looked away for a moment."
"...Huh?"
"Someone looked at me as if she was going to cry at any moment, and she was quite pretty like that. I was distracted by her."
"...So it was me?"
"Yes, my Lady."
"Ha."
She laughed at the absurdity.
"You were moderately pretty."
"You're really..."
Chloe snorted in exasperation. She wondered if this was always her husband's nature.
Gerard stared lovingly at her. She looked lovely no matter what, and that was a problem.
He lifted his hand to brush away the hair covering his wife's forehead.
"Part of me wishes to erase all the pain I caused you with the Archduchess."
Gerard kissed Chloe's forehead, like a symbol of covenant.
"However, I can't. So, I'll try even harder."
There was nothing wrong with trying to protect love or struggling because of love. However, the first thing to do was to understand what the other person truly wanted.
Gerard knew now.
"Let me apologize to you for the rest of my life by your side. No, for eternity."
His affectionately obsessive gaze fell upon Chloe's face and traced her forehead, eyes, cheeks, nose, and mouth.
It was an apology-like confession that she was the only one for him.
***
The Anata mansion in the capital.
The Archduke and his wife were still in the Capital. Frederick had come to the Capital to finalize the road project with the Imperial Family.
In the meantime, Leila had been unable to leave the mansion.
The security of the mansion had become tight, and the number of employees had increased significantly. They prepared for any escape attempt, not an outside invasion.
It was a cage set for her.
"Derrick, we have to talk."
Leila stopped Frederick from leaving the mansion.
It had been hard for her to see her husband recently. He only stayed in the Imperial Palace during the day and spent his night holed up in the office.
"Not today. I have an important meeting and won't be back until tonight."
Frederick responded with a cold refusal once again. She didn't know if he was really busy or just pretending.
"...Don't wait for me and eat first."
"I can wait! Please..."
"Stop, Leila."
Frederick's frown was deep. He pushed away Leila's hand and went out.
His back looked like a huge wall. Leila's eyes welled up with tears.
Actually, she figured it out. Her husband had been avoiding her.
He didn't talk to her after the hunting contest. When she talked to him, he would heave out a deep sigh and his face darkened.
She'd rather be reproached by him.
Yet, he didn't say a word. She thought this must be how it felt to be a condemned man awaiting execution. She had no clue what to do.
"Anna."
Leila wiped her tears and called the maid beside her.
"Yes, my Lady?"
"Did you receive any word from the Blanchett estate?"
"About that..."
"It's fine, you can speak freely."
"I've sent letters many times, but there hasn't been any reply."
"...I see."
Leila pretended to act calm, but it wasn't easy.
"Haa... Seriously."
'It's over.'
She sank to the floor as the strength slipped away from her body.
"My Lady!"
Leila could hear the voice of the startled maid beside her, but she just buried her face in her lap.
Her relationship with her husband was ruined. As well as with her friends.
'I've ruined everything.'
Leila felt her stomach churn in self-pity and disgust. Something inside her seemed to be broken, but she couldn't figure out how to fix it.
'I... I messed up.'
The more she tried to fix it, the more things got messed up.
'I shouldn't have joined the hunting festival. I shouldn't have come to the Capital. I shouldn't have accepted Chloe when she informed me about her visit to the North.'
Belated regret overtook her.
'I shouldn't have written the letter in the first place.'
However, there was nothing worse than reflecting on the past. The past couldn't be changed unlike the present and the future.
"However, I didn't really mean to..."
She really didn't mean to do something malicious. She was simply greedy.
Leila wanted to be close to Chloe forever. She hoped her friend would consider her as precious as she did.
However, Chloe didn't seem to feel the same way. That's why she was always anxious about it.
"I was just trying to be nice, that's all I wanted to do..."
She thought her friend would be happy after finding out that she helped her relationship with Gerard. She thought her friend would be impressed that she hadn't informed her directly about it.
What a fool.
'If I had known I'd lose both of you, I wouldn't have helped you. I would've married Gerard instead!'
Although she said it out of anger, she didn't mean it. At that moment, her emotions became too overwhelming and forced it to slip out of her mouth.
For Leila, Gerard was simply her childhood friend who had been with her for a long time. A friend who knew and understood her more deeply than anyone else. However, even such a friend turned his back on her, and she got hurt... She shouldn't have said that.
'Did he hear it? I guess Derrick heard it, didn't he?'
In the end, her greed ended up hurting the most precious person to her.
'How did this happen?'
Leila loved Frederick. However, their marriage was frustrating and overwhelming to her.
The northern country without any relatives. A husband who was always occupied with everything. The obligation that came along with the position of Archduchess. Her changing body and rusty sword skills.
Her sword skills were comparable to Gerard's, and now she was just an ordinary Lady. No one in the Empire ever mentioned Leila's name when they talked about swordsmanship now.
She knew it was her choice. She was grateful to have a dependable husband and lovely children. However... what she didn't have kept flashing in front of her. If she didn't take the position of the Archduchess... If only... she just married Gerard.
If so, wouldn't she still be able to work as a knight?
"What am I saying...?!"
Leila clutched her head in frustration. Her thoughts seemed to keep lingering in the same place.
No matter how much she tried to push through it, she felt like walking in never-ending darkness. The darkness around her was so deep and overwhelming that she was about to pass out.
Oh, how she wished someone could give an answer.
She wondered what to do.
She wondered how to make things right.
She thought about the reason her life felt so empty and meaningless.
"Hah..."
Leila shed tears of despair. However, she had no one left to see through her despair.
She felt exhausted.
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