Tara couldn't remember a time when her mouth felt this dry. She licked her lips a few times and swallowed dryly as she attempted to roll over. The movement immediately started a rhythm of dull thumping inside her head, echoing in her ears.
She took a deep breath through her nose and squeezed her eyes shut tighter. Maybe if she went back to sleep the pounding in her skull would stop. That's when she noticed how hot she was. It was like the sun's purpose that morning was to shine only on her.
Tara whined and rolled onto her stomach, moving her arms up so she could grip onto the pillow tightly as she buried her face in it and let out a groan. She was tired, hot, and her head was about to explode.
"Oh my god." She grumbled, finally rolling to her side to push herself up into a sitting position, eyes still closed. The comforter fell down into her lap heavily and she squinted at the brightness of the room.
"If I had a dollar for every time a girl in my bed said that." Amber's voice was scratchy and low, like she had just woken up herself.
Tara's eyes went wide at the unexpected voice and she pulled the covers up to cover her torso on instinct.
Amber just chuckled at Tara's reaction and lifted the cup of coffee in her hands up to her lips as she leaned on the doorframe of the bedroom.
"Oh my god." Tara said again as her eyes darted around the room, realizing she wasn't in her own bed.
"That's two dollars in less than 30 seconds, cupcake." Amber smirked at her and ran a hand through her messy hair, "and I haven't even touched you."
Tara's shocked expression switched to a glare as she grabbed a pillow from behind her and threw it towards the doorway. It fell just short of Amber and the dark haired girl laughed.
Tara felt a chill run through her at the gravely sound of Amber's laugh and couldn't help but smile. She quickly regretted the sudden movement though, as something in her head started to thump harshly. "Ugh, what time is it?
"Just after noon."
Tara brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose as she shut her eyes and hung her head forward a bit. "What happened last night?"
"You don't remember?" Amber raised an eyebrow, "I'm hurt."
Tara sighed, her eyebrows pushing together as the pounding in her head felt heavier. She pushed the covers off of her and scooted to the edge of the bed to put her feet on the floor. She felt the cool hardwood under her feet and put her hands on her thighs.
Amber watched Tara's face turn to confusion again and she hid her smirk behind the mug in her hands.
"Where are my pants?" Tara asked quietly. Her face was quickly going from one of confusion to completely mortified the longer she was awake.
"You really don't remember?" Amber chuckled, lowering the cup in her hands and watching Tara carefully.
Tara pulled the comforter back over her lap as she shook her head at Amber.
Taking pity on her, Amber pushed herself off the door frame and took a step into the room. "They were covered in dirt from your face plant in the park." She pointed to the bedside table where a glass of water and bottle of Advil was sitting, "I wasn't about to let you get into my bed all dirty."
Tara took the glass of water and downed the whole thing, along with a couple pills, in one go. She brought a hand up to rub against her eyes, trying desperately to piece together her night. She didn't remember a park, or face planting, or even how the hell she ended up in Amber's bed. Of all the people she could see this happening with, which wasn't many, Amber was not one of them.
Tara set the glass back down and looked around the room nervously before stopping to look at Amber who was just inside the doorway, "And we- I mean, did we...?" She trailed off, not sure she even wanted the answer to the question lingering in her mind.
"Did we what, cupcake?" Amber asked, pretending to be clueless.
Tara covered her face with her hands for a second before dropping them and whispering, "you know..."
Amber just tilted her head and gave her a look of confusion, "You're going to have to be more specific."
Tara finally caught on to the fact that Amber was making fun of her and shot her a glare, "Seriously?"
Amber nodded, "Use your words. I know you have them, you never shut up." She lifted her coffee to take another sip.
Tara huffed out a frustrated breath, "I mean, did we..."
"Get swept away in a dreamlike romance that ended with you calling out my name for hours until you fell blissfully asleep in my bed?" Amber took a few more steps forward, giving Tara a seductive look.
Tara swallowed hard, her throat feeling dry again as she watched Amber saunter towards her.
Then Amber chuckled, breaking the seductive act she was giving her. It made Tara blush with the fact that she was actually considering what Amber was saying as a possibility of what happened.
"No, cupcake." Amber chuckled, "you got plastered and passed out while I was giving you a ride home."
"Oh." Tara sighed in relief, "Then how'd I end up here?"
"You passed out before telling me where you live." Amber shrugged, taking another sip of her coffee. "You may want to check your phone though, it's been going off for a while."
Amber turned and walked back out of the bedroom like having girls in her bed was the most normal thing in the world. Tara figured it probably was, if the antics in the library was any indication of how things usually went for her.
Tara saw her pants on the floor next to the bed and grabbed them, fumbling to find the pocket where her phone was. She pulled it out and sighed, Amber was right.
14 New Notifications
Amber walked back in, completely ignoring Tara and went straight to the bathroom that was connected to the bedroom, shutting the door slightly behind her but not all the way. Tara watched from her spot on the bed through the crack of the door as Amber splashed some water on her face and looked at herself in the mirror.
It surprised Tara, the expression on Amber's face. It wasn't a cocky, 'I'm so hot' kind of look. It was more like she was really looking at herself, trying to figure out who she was. Tara's phone chimed again, adding to the notifications she had yet to look at and it made Amber glance her way.
Tara looked away quickly, hoping Amber hadn't caught her staring, and cleared her throat awkwardly as she opened up her phone to see who was trying so hard to find her.
Amelia.
"Oh, no." Tara breathed out, scrolling through the texts on her phone. Suddenly the night before came rushing back into her mind. Showing up at the party, drinking way too much, her fight with Amelia— her breakup with Amelia. Drinking even more, trying to steal a keg? Then Amber.
She remembered Amber practically carrying her to her car and helping her climb inside. Pulling over when she didn't feel good. Offering her water, and her jacket, and...
The park. Sitting on the picnic table and feeling Amber's leg bounce quickly up and down when she pressed herself into her side for warmth. The way she gently led her through the tall grass by pressing her hand on the small of Tara's back as they made their way out of the park.
She remembers Amber sitting her down against the fence and jogging away to get her car to come back and pick Tara up so she wouldn't have to walk as far. Then she remembers falling asleep, tugging Amber's jacket around her as she sat in the passenger seat of her car.
She scrolled through the texts slowly— There were a few from Anika, asking where she was, informing her of the late hour, and then screaming at her through text how irresponsible she was being. A few from Amelia asking if they could talk, get breakfast, a couple apologies, and a— "can I see you?"
There was more. One from Mindy, informing her that Amelia had in fact shown up at the apartment looking for her- which then led to everyone being shocked and worried at the fact that she had never made it home.
The last one, the one that she had just received, was Mindy again. Amelia was still there, waiting for her.
Amber saw Tara's head duck quickly just as she turned towards the sound that had chimed in the other room. She watched Tara look at her phone, and sigh, more than a few times, at what she was reading. She looked back at her reflection for a second before reaching for her toothbrush.
Amber couldn't decide if she was glad or not that Tara seemed to have forgotten the previous night. It was strange. She wouldn't exactly classify it as hanging out, but it wasn't their normal way of spending time together. Amber had enjoyed it, and honestly wouldn't hate it if it happened again. But then again, maybe it was better Tara didn't remember, so things wouldn't change.
She wasn't even sure why she had taken Tara to the park in the first place. She never took anyone there. Or why she had volunteered to help her at the party. Come to think of it, Tara had made her do more than a few things that she normally wouldn't.
Even with all these thoughts running through her head, Amber found herself listening closely to the sighs coming from the other room.
Shit.
Amber looked back to her reflection and frowned around her toothbrush. She had a crush on Tara Carpenter.
"Alright," Amber called from the bathroom quickly, her mouth still full of toothpaste. She spit into the sink and wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, "It's time for you to go."
Tara looked up as Amber made her way back into the bedroom rather fast. She looked at her with a pout and immediately the dark haired girl shook her head. Amber could not let this go any further. She wasn't sure how this had even happened in the first place. Amber didn't do like. She didn't do crushes. She did distant and detached. Not this.
Tara was just someone she was forced to tutor. She was just saving her grade. Doing the bare minimum it took in order for her to pass. Amber was definitely not spending her free time making flash cards, or coming up with ways to explain things in a way Tara would understand. She hadn't stopped bringing girls to the library because she cared about what Tara thought, or for the fact that she just hadn't really been interested in anyone in a while since spending time with Tara. She hadn't given up the chance to hook up with a very beautiful and very into her girl in order to drive a drunk Tara home. And she certainly hadn't taken her to the park she hadn't taken anyone to in years or spend an extra hour driving around the city at excruciatingly slow speeds just so Tara could sleep.
Nope.
"I guess you're right." Tara let out a sigh and looked back to her phone.
Amber clenched her jaw, thinking carefully about what to say next. She had to keep Tara at a distance, but she couldn't help the bubbling feeling in her stomach of wanting to ask if something was wrong.
"Isn't someone looking for you anyway?" That seemed like the safest thing to say.
"Yeah I just—" Tara sighed again and saw Camilla roll her eyes. "I just don't exactly want her to find me."
"Ah." Amber nodded knowingly. "Well, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here. I've got things to do, sweetheart." She cringed at the nickname, telling herself she had to stop doing that. It wasn't just a casual thing to annoy Tara anymore and she knew it as soon as she said it.
"Well.." Tara dragged it out like she was thinking of something to say, "Maybe I could come with you? Wherever you're going. I mean if it's not too intrusive. I promise I wont get in the way. I'll even help. If whatever you're doing needs help, I mean." Realizing she was ranting she pressed her lips together firmly and gave Amber a pleading look. Hoping with everything in her that Amber would say yes despite the fact that she was almost positive she was just going to laugh in her face at the request.
Amber took a deep breath, actually considering it. Even after practically yelling at herself not to let this girl get to her, seeing her with her bottom lip jutting out in a pout made her forget that internal conversation completely. What would it hurt to let her tag along, really?
"Fine." Amber grumbled through gritted teeth. Way to stand firm, Freeman.
"Oh my gosh, thank you!" Tara bounced on the bed with a smile before gripping her head and grimacing.
"Towels are under the sink." Amber waved towards the bathroom but didn't move from her spot in the middle of the bedroom.
Tara looked at her slightly confused before glancing towards the bathroom, a little unsure of what Amber was wanting her to do.
"You aren't tagging along like that, you smell like the basement of an abattoir." Amber turned and started walking back out of the bedroom as she called over her shoulder, "You've got 20 minutes then I'm leaving."
"Rude." Tara muttered before gripping the collar of her shirt and lifting it up to take a sniff. She frowned, "Rude, but accurate."
—
"Amb?" Tara whispered through a crack in the bathroom door.
"Hmm?" Amber hummed in response, not bothering to look over. She was sitting on the end of her bed, leaning over lacing up her boots.
"I uh.."
Amber heard the door creek open and sat up, "What is it princess, we need to go before the light—" Her words cut short, the last one coming out in a squeak. She quickly coughed to try and cover it up, feeling her face start to heat up, "Did you uh, need.. something?" She asked, clearing her throat and locking her eyes on Tara's face.
Tara's lips twitched into a small smile at Amber's reaction, despite her trying to hide it. She clutched the towel tighter around herself and shifted her weight nervously, "I just don't have anything to wear?"
Amber took a breath and stood up, looking around her bedroom quickly before stepping over to the closet and opening the door, "You can wear whatever. Just hurry up." With that Amber made her way quickly towards the door, nearly tripping on the laces of the one boot she had yet to tie.
Tara giggled to herself, actually quite proud of the reaction she had gotten from Amber. Even though it was probably more out of surprise than anything else. It's not like Amber would be interested in her anyway. Tara had seen the girls she brought back to the library and definitely wasn't what Tara would consider to be Amber's type.
Borrowing Amber's underwear seemed just a little too personal for their tutor/student relationship so Tara just opted to put back on the ones she had on the day before. She grabbed a pair of jeans that looked like they would fit and pulled them on. They were a little long, but rolling up the bottoms fixed that problem. Then she grabbed a t-shirt that was hanging up and pulled it over her head. She toweled off her hair and ran her fingers through it to comb it out a bit before hanging up the towel and leaving the bedroom.
The bedroom had seemed to fit Amber. It was pretty empty, barely any furniture at all. A night stand next to the bed, a small dresser pressed up against the wall next to the closet, and that was it. Everything was black, down to the sheets on her bed. The maroon comforter had felt like heaven, Tara thought, and was actually the only thing in the room that wasn't black. As she made her way down the short hallway she wondered if the rest of the apartment would look the same.
The first thing Tara noticed was how much nicer Amber's apartment was compared to her own. Messier, but nicer. And Tara could only attribute that to the fact that she had Anika keeping their apartment tidy all the time. There was a second bathroom at the end of the hall, right before you walked out into a large living room and kitchen area. There was a small island counter separating the two areas, but otherwise it was just one giant room.
Amber was bent over with her head in the refrigerator when Tara walked in. Deciding not to bother her, she started looking around.
She turned to look at the living room area and the first thing she noticed was the books. They were everywhere. There was a big book shelf that covered part of the wall immediately to her left, and it was packed with books of all kinds. Books on psychology, philosophy, anatomy, art, photography. Not only that but dozens of novels and poetry books as well. Tara let her fingers brush along the spines of the books as she scanned the shelves.
There were prints hung on the walls. Some black and white, some extremely colorful. All incredibly beautiful. There was a lot of natural light coming into the room from the large window with its curtains drawn back.
In the center of the room was an old wooden coffee table covered in ring lines from drinks that had been placed on top of it. There were scratches littered across it, some seemed intentional, some not. It too, had books set on top of it. A couple opened and laid out as if to hold Amber's place. Which, if that was the case, meant Amber was currently reading at least 5 different books.
On the other side of the coffee table was a large couch. There was a blanket and pillow laid out messily on it. Tara guessed from Amber sleeping there since she had accidentally stolen her bed.
For a second she wondered why Amber hadn't just dropped her on the couch and slept in her own bed. It's probably what anyone else would have done.
The apartment wasn't dirty- just lived in. Which seemed to fit Amber too. Tara thought that she had always seemed like a hurricane that swept in and left her mark before disappearing and leaving a lasting impression. It seemed fitting that her own space would reflect that.
She glanced around and noticed there wasn't a tv. She did see an old record player though and slowly made her way over to it. It was sitting on top of some shelves that were full of old records.
Tara glanced over to the kitchen where Amber was either ignoring her or hadn't noticed her come in yet. Curiosity getting the best of her, Tara fiddled with the player till the record already set up started to spin, then she lowered the arm onto it, hoping that was how to make it work.
There was a screeching sound and Tara quickly picked up the arm, hoping she hadn't ruined the record.
"Curiosity killed the cat, you know."
Tara turned around quickly to Amber's eyes locked on her. She didn't look angry, but an eyebrow was raised as she watched Tara for a second before shoving something in her bag and grabbing her keys off the counter.
"If you're done snooping?" She looked at Tara expectantly and gestured to the door.
"I wasn't snooping." Tara defended herself, slightly embarrassed that she was, actually, very much so snooping. "And curiosity may have killed the cat, but it's how reporters get the best stories."
Tara gave Amber a smile, happy with her clever response as she walked out the door with Amber following behind her. Amber locked the door and started down the hallway without saying a word.
"So where are we going?" Tara asked as they walked out of the apartment building and towards Amber's car.
"You don't get to ask questions." Amber unlocked her car and put her bag in the back seat before climbing in.
Tara frowned but decided to go along with Amber's made up rule for their outing. She had pretty much crashed whatever plans Amber had and was just happy she didn't have to go home and face reality yet.
There was a different kind of familiarity as they started their drive. Tara had gotten used to Amber's study habits by now. Her always kicking her feet up on the table, chair or couch around them. Her constant tapping of her pencil or shaking of her leg. The way she swirled her hair around her finger when she was lost in thought. Her tendency to steal her gummy bears and pick through them to get the white and green ones. What was up with that anyway?
Driving in the car together was new, but it didn't feel that way. Tara immediately relaxed into the passenger seat, leaning her head on the window, not bothered by the silence between them. It was comfortable. Which until last night, was not a word she would have used to describe her time with Amber.
Amber drummed her thumb on the steering wheel as she made her way further from campus. Tara watched out the window, trying to figure out where they were going, trying to ignore the headache still very much present, and the thought of having to go home eventually to face reality.
Amber glanced over at Tara then back to the road. They hadn't said anything the entire car ride so far. It was probably her own fault for telling Tara not to ask questions but she knew if she answered the first one it would only lead to more.
She started to tap her thumb on the steering wheel nervously. So far she was doing a terrible job of keeping Tara at a distance like she had wanted to. It's like the realization that she actually liked Tara made it that much harder not to like her.
—
"This is what you had to do today?" Tara sat up and looked out the window, "Chinese food?"
Amber put the car in park and undid her seatbelt. "Just picking something up for Joey. Stay here." She left the car running as she hopped out of the car and walked inside.
Tara sat there patiently for all of 5 seconds before she started to get antsy. She looked back up at the sign and chuckled, Good Fortune. Clever. She let out a sigh and shifted in her seat. She looked around the car before her eyes landed on the radio. Reaching forward she turned it on and immediately the speakers started blaring music louder than she was ready for. Scrambling to find the control for the volume, Tara started to hit buttons, changing stations until she finally found the one to turn down the volume.
Once the volume was at a level that wouldn't destroy her eardrums, she started flipping through stations. She landed on a familiar song and sat back in her seat, tapping her hand on her thigh to the beat. Tara was just about to get out of the car and go after Amber, sure she had been waiting forever (it had been maybe 5 minutes), when Amber came walking out of Good Fortune.
A little old lady was following her out chatting quickly with Amber just nodding her head and smiling. Actually smiling.
Tara kept being surprised by the smallest things when I came to Amber. She would be sure she had her figured out then she would do or say something that would just leave Tara more curious.
Tara tried to think of another time she saw Amber smile. She could count on one hand how many times that had happened, and most of the time it was because Amber was making fun of someone.
Amber waved at the woman standing at the door with an apron on and made her way back to the driver's side of the car. She climbed in, setting a plastic bag in her lap and pulled something out of it.
"That's why we stopped?" Tara asked, a little surprised.
Amber took a bite and shrugged, "I like egg rolls." She handed the bag to Tara and shifted the car to drive. "And I needed to grab something for Joey."
"Joey?" Tara looked down at the bag now in her lap and her stomach immediately grumbled.
"Plus," Amber continued without looking over, "it's great hangover food."
Tara twisted her lips in consideration, she was hungry. And it did smell good. She reached in the bag and grabbed an egg roll and took a bite, humming happily as she chewed.
"What the hell are we listening to?" Amber glanced over to Tara with a face that looked like she was being tortured as the song on the radio changed to another typical top 100 pop sound.
Tara just smiled shyly around the egg roll still in her mouth while Amber rolled her eyes and shook her head. She didn't miss the fact that Amber didn't move to change the station, though. She took that as a small victory and decided it meant that Amber didn't totally hate her like she pretended to.
—
"Alright, I know you said no questions but we've been driving for 20 minutes and you just pulled off onto a dirt road that looks like it came straight out of a horror movie." Tara leaned forward, scanning out the windows trying to figure out where exactly they were.
Amber slowed the car down as they made their way down the windy dirt path. They approached a large fence with barbed wire strung along the top with a huge solid metal gate right in front of them. She pulled off to the side and honked the horn a couple times as she turned off the car and climbed out.
Tara didn't move. She watched as Amber went to the back seat to grab her bag and slung it over her shoulder before approaching the giant gate like she was about to walk into a grocery store. It was like Amber didn't notice the dozens of signs saying 'no trespassing', 'do not enter', 'private property', 'electric fence'...
"ELECTRIC FENCE!" Tara yelled, to herself mostly, from the car, pointing after Amber.
Once she got to the gate Amber turned around and raised her eyebrows at Tara who was still sitting in the passenger seat with a worried expression, "You coming, princess?"
Tara huffed as she looked around. If she didn't follow Amber she would be sitting in the car in the middle of nowhere for who knows how long. Why was it every time she went anywhere with this girl she ended up in these kinds of situations?
"Bring the bag with you." Amber called out to her and turned back to the heavy gate, gripping the edge and pulling on it to open it up a crack and stepping through.
"Seriously?" Tara looked around worriedly, "Unbelievable." She muttered to herself as she climbed out of the car, the bag of Chinese food in her hands and stomped towards the barely open gate.
She squeezed inside and found Amber waiting for her just on the other side, ready to close the gate behind them. Once through the gate she handed the bag of food to Amber and crossed her arms angrily over her chest.
Tara looked around and just got more confused by what was in front of her. The place was littered in junk. Old cars, furniture, garbage, everything. They were in a junkyard. A big one by the looks of it.
"You brought a friend this time." A burly voice came from behind Tara and she spun around quickly, moving slightly behind Amber as if she was trying to hide.
Standing in front of her was a very tall, very hairy man wearing a pair of denim overalls, heavy work boots, and a worn trucker hat. He was chewing on a toothpick, one hand in his pocket, the other running through his thin beard as he looked Tara up and down.
"Hey Dewey." Amber nodded towards the man, reaching into the bag Tara had just handed her.
He nodded back, "Everything's up in the back for you." He smiled a toothy grin at Tara before giving her a wink and walking away.
"Ok really, are you planning on killing me and this is just where you brought me to dispose of my body?" Tara asked in a harsh whisper, turning back around to face Amber. "Because if I did something to offend you, I'm really sorry but I don't think it was bad enough to call for murder."
Amber looked up at Tara and chuckled at the wide eyes and serious expression looking back at her. "Relax, cupcake. That's Dewey." She nodded towards the man walking away towards a motorhome parked between two piles of random junk as she pulled the container from the bag.
"I thought we were meeting a Joey?" Tara asked. This whole day was confusing and the lingering hangover was not helping her figure it out, at all.
"We are." Amber smiled happily before bringing two fingers to her mouth and letting out a loud whistle.
Tara's eyebrows came together as she watched Amber scan the junk yard until she saw it. Barreling around the corner at an alarming speed was the biggest German Shepard she had ever seen in her life. His eyes were wide, teeth showing as he ran at an alarming speed right towards them.
Tara grabbed Amber's arm, eyes wide, and started pulling her back towards the gate, "Amb! Come on!"
Amber gave Tara an amused look before pulling her arm free and handing her the container in her hand. She took a few steps forward and crouched down just as the giant dog plowed into her, knocking Amber on her back with a loud "oof!"
"Oh my gosh! What do I do?!" Tara yelled, jumping back quickly, frantically looking around for Dewey or anyone to help. Then she heard Amber laugh and dropped her attention to the girl on the ground.
"This.. is Joey." Amber smiled as she sat up and pushed the dog off of her. She reached up with both hands and scratched behind the dog's ears as its tail wagged excitedly and its tongue lapped at Amber's face. Amber shoved the dog away playfully and stood up. She brushed off her pants, glancing over at Tara who was glaring at her.
"I thought we were going to die!" Tara swatted Amber's arm, her glare switching to a smile as she held back the laugh at how terrified she had been.
"He's harmless." Amber smirked and nodded to the container in Tara's hand, "And once you give him that, he will be your best friend."
Tara looked down hesitantly to the German Shepherd sitting at Amber's feet, tail wagging and tongue hanging lazily out of its mouth. She opened the container and gave Amber a look of disbelief, "This is broccoli."
"I know." Amber deadpanned.
And it seemed Joey knew as well, and was super excited about it. As soon as she had opened the container, Joey was pawing at the ground, tongue hanging from his mouth as he bounced excitedly in front of the pair of girls.
Tara slowly put the broccoli down on the ground and almost got knocked over by the dog pouncing on it happily.
"See, harmless." Amber shrugged and started walking away into the maze of junk in front of them.
"A dog that likes broccoli." Tara shook her head and sped up to walk next to Amber, "Who knew?"
—
"You want me to what?" Tara asked, looking at the pile of stuff next to her.
"Break it. It's not that hard of a concept, cutie." Amber lowered her camera and shifted her weight, letting out a sigh.
The German Shepherd sitting at her feet tilted his head to the side, like even he understood what Amber wanted.
"I still don't get it." Tara shrugged, looking at the pile of bottles, plates, and assortment of other glass objects next to her.
Amber walked over and picked up a plain looking plate, lifted it above her head and threw it down onto the ground in front of her. Tara hopped back as the pieces shattered across the ground. Joey let out a bark and stood up on all fours, like he was ready to pounce.
"Get it?" Amber asked, walking back over to the dog and telling him to sit.
"I know how to break things, Amber." Tara replied, annoyed. "I just don't get why you want me to do it." She put her hands on her hips, giving Amber as much attitude as she could muster. If Amber was going to be sarcastic and snarky all day, she was going to do the same right back.
Amber dropped a hand down to scratch behind Joey's ears, which the dog seemed more than happy about, as she let out another sigh. "Because the one thing my pictures seem to lack, according to my professor, is emotion." Amber gripped her camera with both hands, lifting it slightly like she was getting ready to snap a photo, "And you seem to be bursting at the seams with it. So I'm using you. Smash the glass."
Tara took a deep breath and stepped up to the pile of stuff and picked up an empty bottle. She lifted it above her head and looked over to Amber, then Joey, before dropping it on the ground.
The bottle bounced a few times before rolling over towards the dark haired girl and dog. Joey stepped forward sniffing at the bottle before popping his head up and panting in Tara's direction.
"That's all you got?" Amber raised an eyebrow and lowered her camera."Come on. Naive, provincial girl like you. Entirely too tightly wound. There has to be more in you than that, just waiting to come out."
Tara made eye contact with Amber and something in her voice started to make her chest burn. Amber was right. There was more to her than what people gave her credit for. She was more than tiny, sweet Tara Carpenter. The girl that always needed protecting.
"Or maybe I was wrong about you." Amber's voice was egging her on, "maybe I should go find the giant red head to do it for you."
That's what did it. Tara glared at Amber, remembering the night before, Amelia getting after her for drinking. The constant hovering and parenting. The handful of texts from Amelia and even Anika, acting like her parents anytime Tara stayed out late.
She grabbed another bottle from the pile and slammed it against the ground, glass shattering everywhere. Joey jumped back, hiding behind Amber's legs obviously aware of the shift in energy.
Tara's glare slowly turned to a smile and she lifted a hand to cover her mouth as she let out a giggle and looked back to Amber, "That actually felt really great."
"I knew you had it in you." Amber smirked and nodded towards the pile, encouraging Tara to keep going.
Tara grabbed another bottle and hurled it towards an old junked car not too far away from them and watched the glass shatter as it crashed into it.
Amelia cutting her pancakes, her sister's daily texts to check up on her, Amelia always showing up to walk her home, Anika mothering her, people never taking her seriously...
Amber watched her throw one thing after another, enthralled at the tiny girl and the amount of power behind every new throw. She was intrigued, watching as the more glass Tara smashed, the more focused she was. At first she looked so serious, but the more glass she shattered, the bigger her smile got. It was the opposite of what Amber was expecting.
Maybe she had been wrong about Tara. Sure it had only been a few weeks since the girl had crashed herself into Amber's life- literally. At first it was the last thing Amber wanted, but now, it felt like it had been that way for a while. And she didn't mind it. She lifted her camera and waited until Tara had something hoisted above her head with both hands, she was getting ready to throw it to the ground—
*click*
The glass exploded on the concrete and pieces flew across the ground. There was a mixture of colors from beer bottles, dinner plates, vases, and anything else glass that Dewey had gathered for Amber.
She was glad for the spot he had decided to allow this little experiment to take place. It was at the back of the junkyard and up on top of a small hill. It was where most of the old cars had been stacked, so there wasn't much trash surrounding them. Just large pieces of junk. The rusted bodies and car parts littered about gave it a deserted feeling, and Amber couldn't wait to see how it translated in her pictures.
Amber waited until Tara had gone through most of the glass piled to the side before interrupting, "Alright tiny ball of rage." Amber called out, taking a step towards the brunette and the mess of glass around her.
Tara looked up, a little out of breath from how into breaking the glass she had gotten. It was actually really relaxing. It started with her literally crushing her frustrations, but turned into actually being fun to just get to smash things without having to worry about it.
Amber climbed up on the hood of one of the old cars, getting above the collection of glass shards and lifted her camera.
*click*
The afternoon sun mixed with the different colors of glass created a kaleidoscope of color and light. They were like stars that had fallen to the ground. Shining and jagged. A chaotic collection of shimmering glass littered around them.
*click*
Tara stepped back and out of the way, glass crunching under her feet, while she watched Amber's face shift from one of amusement to concentration. Amber scanned the ground, considering angles and lighting. It was interesting for Tara to watch. The only other time she had seen Amber take pictures was the night before in the park. And it was dark, and she was drunk. So seeing how serious Amber was, was different than her usual lack of interest or apathy towards anything and everything.
Tara walked over to the car Amber was standing on and climbed up slowly, standing behind Amber, trying to see what it was that the dark haired girl was seeing. Amber had crouched down and adjusted the lens on her camera before snapping another picture. Tara bent over, trying to get the same angle as Amber had.
"I can feel you breathing on my neck." Amber said flatly, before lowering her camera and turning her head towards Tara.
She hadn't realized just how close Tara actually was to her until her head was turned and they were mere inches away from each other. Her heart thudded in her chest as she went from annoyed to actually nervous. She was sure it was written all over her face and was grateful that Tara's attention seemed to still be locked on the ground in front of them.
"I'm just trying to see what you see." Tara said, tilting her head slightly and narrowing her eyes. "It just looks like broken glass to me." She stood up and shrugged before hopping down off the car.
Joey got up from his spot in the shade of the car and lazily walked over to Tara, nudging her in the leg with his head. She smiled and reached down to pat his side, brushing her hand along his fur gently.
"Plus, I don't get what you said before." Tara added, crouching down to be eye level with Joey. "I liked your photos."
Amber scoffed and watched Tara make faces at Joey as she scratched behind his ears, who in turn tried to lick her face.
"Well forgive me if I ignore your compliment and listen to my professor instead." Amber sat down, letting one foot hang off the edge of the car body, the other leg bent so she could rest her arm on her knee.
"Besides, how does broken glass show emotion?" Tara turned to look up at Amber, "It's just glass."
Amber nodded slightly before hopping off the car, "It's all about perspective, cupcake." She let her camera hang on the strap around her neck, shoving her hands in her pockets and started walking away.
Tara stood up and started following after her, Joey at her heels. "Well, can I see?"
"She what?" Amber kicked at a bottle cap on the ground as she made her way further into the junk yard.
"The pictures. What else?" Tara stepped up onto an old tool box and hopped off.
The intensity and focus that had been present just a minute before had easily melted away. Joey ran around in front of the two girls, sniffing through piles of things, disappearing, then coming back to make sure his companions were close behind. Amber for the moment wasn't looking for her next shot or worried about angles or things to take pictures of. She was just kicking at random items on the ground, enjoying the cool afternoon and relaxed walk through the junkyard.
Tara was enjoying herself much more than she thought when they had first arrived. Not only had she just smashed her way through a pile of things, but she felt like she was in a completely different world. Whether it was getting her frustrations out through destroying things or the calming energy that seemed to follow, she was completely relaxed and content to watch Joey run around chasing after things and see what random treasures she could find in this place.
"Sure." Amber turned and watched Tara try to kick a discarded bucket only to get her food stuck inside of it. She chuckled before whistling for Joey, who was chasing after a bird in front of them.
Joey ran over excitedly and hopped up, his front paws nearly making it to Amber's shoulders before she shoved him off and grabbed something from the ground, throwing it across the yard for him to chase.
Tara stumbled, her foot in the bucket for a few steps before hopping on her free foot and trying to shake free of the bucket.
"Well?" She hopped in place and pulled at the item stubbornly hanging onto her foot. Once it was off her foot she tossed it over to the top of a pile and kept walking towards Amber.
"Well what?" Amber clapped her hands together as Joey came running back with an old shoe in his mouth. She pulled the shoe free and threw it across the yard again before making a face of disgust and wiping her hand on her pants.
"Well can I see?" Tara looked at her expectantly while they both stood there, Amber waiting for Joey to return and Tara waiting to see the pictures.
Amber turned to her and shifted the camera around her neck, "I have to develop them first."
"What?" Tara was clearly confused. "They aren't digital?"
"No. It's film." Amber raised an eyebrow and kept her eyes locked on Tara.
Tara looked like she was thinking about it for a second. Joey running back excitedly pulled her attention as the dog ran up to her, "I didn't know that was a thing still."
Amber watched Tara immediately give Joey the attention he was begging for. Brushing her hand up and down his fur before teasing him with the old shoe- pretending to throw it then giggling when the dog realized she hadn't.
Tara looked up and caught Amber smiling at her and felt slightly embarrassed at the attention.
Amber must have noticed because she looked away quickly, clearing her throat, "I like it better." She started walking over to an emptier space in the junkyard. "I find it.. romantic."
Tara followed slowly with Joey making circles around her feet. "Romantic?" She asked, fumbling over the large dog.
For such a big dog, he sure did act a lot like a puppy.
Amber whistled and immediately Joey was at her side, sitting at her instruction. She slid her bag off her shoulder and tossed it up onto the hood of a torn up car.
It looked like an old Cadillac that had been stripped for parts. The steering wheel had been torn out, along with the font seats and dash. The doors, tires, and roof were all missing. The only thing that seemed to go untouched was the back seat, still sitting snugly in the frame.
"Mmhm." Amber hummed, stepping up inside the old car. "Something about being in the dark room and watching your picture appear. The chemical solution kissing the paper to ease your photo to show itself. Not being able to see the real image until it's in your hands." She glanced at Tara with an unreadable expression before grabbing her bag and sitting down on the worn back seat of the disassembled car. "Romantic."
"Huh." Tara replied, honestly not knowing what else to say. Amber's description did make it sound kind of special.
Amber was going through her bag while she spoke, just saying out loud what she really felt about photography. It took her to a different world. Imagining the photo as she took it. The excitement waiting for it to come to life as she developed it. She loved the process. "Everything is instant these days. I find satisfaction in having to work for it. Earn it. That's how you know it's special."
Tara had walked over and was leaning on the frame of the car watching Amber. This was another one of those moments that completely surprised her. She could tell Amber was being completely honest and unguarded for once and Tara found her absolutely captivating.
Amber noticed the silence and looked up from her bag to Tara and noticed how intently she was listening. Realizing just how much she was sharing surprised her and immediately she felt the need to brush it off as some sort of joke.
"Just like women." Amber added with a smirk, immediately building up the walls she had momentarily let down.
Tara rolled her eyes, knowing full well what Amber was trying to do. "You feel that way about your women?" She climbed up into the car and dropped down on the other end of the seat, pulling one leg up and turning to face Amber.
"Sure." Amber's smirk still present, she pulled out a sandwich from her bag and tossed it into Tara's lap before pulling out one for herself. "Digital is fast. You don't appreciate it. Women are the same way. If she's special, she'll make you work for it. And you'll want to."
Tara opened up the bag the sandwich was in and pulled it out and took a bite. She was hungrier than she realized. After all that semi-exercise of smashing things, she had worked up an appetite. And one egg roll over an hour ago was definitely not enough to keep her happy.
Amber did the same, biting into her peanut butter and jelly, and relaxing back into the old car seat.
"You don't seem like the type to want to work for it." Tara mumbled around her mouth full of food.
Amber smirked and wiped some jelly off her lip with her thumb, "That's just because I don't usually have to."
Tara rolled her eyes and dropped her hands holding the sandwich to her lap, "Wow. Full of yourself much?"
Amber laughed and Tara found herself smiling at her. Amber didn't laugh very often, at least not a real, loud, free laugh. Tara couldn't help but think it was kind of magical when she did.
"I didn't mean it like that." Amber smiled and licked some peanut butter off the edge of the bread.
"No?" Tara looked at her skeptically before taking another bite.
Amber shook her head and shrugged, "I guess I just haven't found anyone worth making an effort for. Plus, that's not what people want from me anyway."
Her voice was light, like she didn't care what people wanted from her. Like she was okay with what people saw and being nothing more than that. But something in her eyes gave her away. Tara saw it and it made her think of the drawing she had seen and how beautifully broken the girl looking at her was.
"Can I ask you something?" The words were out of Tara's mouth before she could really think about it, but once it was said she figured it wouldn't hurt to at least ask.
"Hmm?" Amber hummed, taking another bite.
Tara watched Amber carefully. The dark haired girl was avoiding eye contact and seemed far too interested in her sandwich for it to be anything other than her way of protecting herself from being completely vulnerable. The air between them was already much more light than usual, and although Amber was trying to play the unaffected and aloof card, Tara could see the apprehension behind the facade.
"I just noticed a theme. With your pictures I mean." Tara tried to sound casual but she was never one to be subtle. "The broken fence, the broken glass, even your self portrait."
Amber's eyes shot up nervously at the mention of the self portrait. She should have known Tara had seen it. She had talked to her that night at the midterm presentation when she had found her looking at her photograph. It had never occurred to her that Tara would have seen her drawing as well.
"So what's the question, cupcake?" Amber's voice was low and unsettlingly steady.
Tara almost regretted bringing it up. Whatever easiness had been between them was slowly slipping away, she could tell by Amber's voice. She was pushing the line and wasn't sure how much more she could say before Amber shut down completely.
"I guess there wasn't a specific question." Tara was weighing the options of settling her curiosity or saving whatever bonding moment this was between her and Amber. "Just curiosity if there was a reason for it, I guess." Tara turned her attention to her sandwich, hoping if she played it off like she wasn't as interested Amber may open up more.
Amber let out a quick whistle and Joey's head popped up from the ground to look at her. A nod from the girl and he was on his feet, jumping up into the car and making himself comfortable in the space between the girls, dropping his head into Amber's lap. Amber brushed along the fur on Joey's back, watching her hand leave trails in the soft hair as she tried to form some sort of answer.
She didn't really have one. Not to say out loud, anyway.
"Do you really see yourself that way?" Tara's voice was barely a whisper as it broke through Amber's thoughts.
Dark eyes met soft brown ones as Tara watched her with much more concern than what Amber was used to. The gentle look and hint of nervousness on Tara's face made it impossible to ignore Tara's question or respond with sarcasm. Something in her eyes captivated Amber and all she could do was respond with her own whisper.
"What way?" Amber's hand stilled on Joey's back as she looked at the brunette. There was a heaviness in her chest that she couldn't explain and as much as she wanted to look away, she couldn't.
"Broken?" Tara's voice was laced with sadness. She hoped Amber thought more of herself than that. She was extremely talented, and so smart, and she knew there was more to her than what she appeared to be. Even though she had only gotten a small glimpse of it, she knew it was there. And it broke her heart to think Amber believed that about herself. That she was broken. Or only worth what other people saw her to be.
"Maybe." Amber breathed out and she saw the sadness in Tara's eyes grow, matching her own that weighed heavily on her heart.
Joey nudged his nose into Amber's leg, informing her that her hand was still not moving. Amber looked down, watching her hand move through soft fur once more.
Tara gave Amber a small smile as she reached over to nudge her arm to get her attention, "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."
Amber smiled slightly at the thought. It was simple, and maybe silly, but it was true. And exactly the type of thing Tara would say.
Tara sat quietly just watching the dark haired girl get lost in thought. She wondered if Amber knew she was twirling her hair around her finger or if that was something she did out of habit. When she looked up at her again Tara felt herself blush with the intensity in Amber's eyes.
"Hey Amb?" Tara bowed her head slightly, looking at the other girl through her eyelashes.
"Hmm?" Amber hummed lowly.
Tara wanted to tell her she wasn't broken. That she was beautiful. But truthfully, as much as she suddenly felt like being around Amber was a new feeling of comfort, she didn't know the girl all that well. She had no idea what made Amber think that about herself. Why she was so drawn to things that had been hurt, drawn to the feeling of sadness, or why she had built her walls so well that unlike her pictures, they seemed like they could never be broken. Tara wasn't even sure why she wanted to reassure Amber in the first place. Up until last night, they barely tolerated each other. Why was it suddenly feeling different?
"Thanks." Tara looked down to her lap and shrugged one of her shoulders, "For letting me tag along today. And last night."
It wasn't what she wanted to say, but they were the only words that would form. The rest would have to wait. Wait until she knew the beauty she saw behind the broken girl enough to tell her why she was still worth so much more than what she thought.
"I thought you didn't remember last night." Amber smirked.
Tara gave her an embarrassed smile, "Yeah, about that. Pieces have been slowly and embarrassingly coming back to me."
Amber chuckled and ate the last piece of her sandwich before brushing her hands together. "Don't mention it."
Amber let out a deep breath before ruffling the fur on top of Joey's head and gently moving his head off her lap. "I'm gonna.." She picked up her camera and twisted it in her hand, hoping that was enough explanation as she stood and hopped out of the car.
This moment was getting much too personal for her liking. And even If she did like Tara, she wasn't ready to be that open with her. Somehow the girl managed to pull it out of her effortlessly, something that kept surprising Amber.
Tara watched Amber walk away until a quiet whine came from the dog still curled on the seat next to her. She looked down at Joey and shrugged in his direction, "I don't understand her either, buddy." She scratched behind his ears and he happily moved so his head was resting on Tara's lap. "It's kind of fun to try though, isn't it?"
Tara had never questioned what they were before. Amber was her tutor. She hadn't even considered them friends. But this felt like something friends would do. This feeling of uncertainty was strange and quite frankly, Tara didn't know how she felt about it. She had never thought about it before, but maybe being friends with Amber wouldn't be so awful.
—
*click*
They had spent a good portion of the afternoon walking around the junkyard, smashing things, taking pictures, watching Joey run around excitedly. There were a few small conversations, nothing too heavy, and none lasting all that long. Amber would notice Tara let out a long sigh every once in a while at the sound of her phone going off, but they both seemed content to stay in their own head space. Amber taking her pictures and Tara happy to avoid reality for a while.
After finally stopping to eat the sandwiches Amber had made while Tara had showered that day, it felt nice to just sit and enjoy Tara's company. Until that is, Tara had decided to dissect Amber and ultimately make her think of things she didn't really want to.
She knew why she was drawn to things that were broken. It's because she felt a connection to them. Broken. It's how she saw herself. She could pinpoint the exact moment it had happened, too. When just like the glass Tara had smashed across the concrete, her heart had shattered, breaking her soul in a way that made her feel like she would never be truly complete again.
But it was too much. Too much to share with a girl she barely knew. Sitting next to Tara, looking into her soft brown eyes made her want to tell her everything. And that terrified Amber. She didn't know what it was about Tara that made her feel that way, but the more time she spent around her, the more she wanted to open up. It was a foreign feeling, one that she wanted desperately to avoid.
So Amber left her there. Her heart pulling at her with every step she took away from the broken car and pieces of herself that she had unknowingly given to Tara already.
*click*
The shadows from the junk piled around her danced in the afternoon light. Bleeding across broken porcelain, metal and lumber strewn around her. She had walked alone for a while now, no sign of Joey or Tara trying to find her and Amber wasn't sure if she was glad or sad because of it. So she made her way back to where she had left Tara, snapping photos as she went.
She knew she was near the end of her roll of film, not wanting to waste it she let her camera hang around her neck as she made her way through the maze of discarded treasures. She rounded the corner and stopped in her tracks at the view in front of her.
Tara was still sitting in the junked car. Her arms were spread across the back of the seat, her head tilted back as the afternoon sun hit her face. Her eyes were closed and her smile was so warm it outshone the sun. Joey's head rested peacefully in her lap, his tail swinging slowly over the edge of the seat.
It took Amber's breath away, how something so beautiful could look so at peace in a place like this. Surrounded by broken dreams and promises. Objects torn apart and forgotten, Tara shone brighter than the sun and made everything around her more beautiful.
*click*
It was the last shot on her roll of film, and Amber couldn't have imagined a better way to spend it. As she lowered her camera and took in the scene once more she realized she wasn't going to be able to get rid of the crush she had developed.
There was no way to avoid it, and Amber wasn't even sure she wanted to. There was something about her that drew Amber in. That made her fingers tingle like they did before she took a photo she knew was going to come out more beautiful than she imagined.
Even if nothing came of it, maybe it wouldn't be a terrible thing— to get to admire her from afar.
"I was beginning to wonder if you had left us." Tara smiled lightly from her place in the car. The sound of Amber boots hitting the ground had pulled her from her quiet thoughts.
Amber gave her a half smile as she approached. She let out a quick whistle and Joey lifted his head to look at her before dropping his head back down into Tara's lap with a huff.
Amber's smile turned to a glare as she eyed the dog, "Traitor."
Joey let out another huff before shoving his body against Tara's and snuggling against her further. Tara let out a laugh as the large dog quickly invaded her space and nearly knocked her over.
Tara's phone chimed, something it had been doing quite a bit that day, and Tara frowned at the sound. Amber hadn't been keeping count, but there had to be over a dozen texts that Tara had ignored since they had left her apartment earlier that afternoon.
"Alright cupcake, sounds like the world needs you back." She whistled again, this time louder and Joey sat up quickly, ears perked and eyes at attention. All it took was a nod from Amber and he was hopping over Tara and onto the ground to follow after her.
Tara groaned quietly as she stood up and followed the pair back through the maze she had been using as her escape from the world. She pulled her phone out and checked who the newest alert was from.
Mindy. They had finally gotten Amelia to leave with the promise that they would have Tara call her as soon as she got home.
Tara knew it was unfair to ignore everyone all day long but was grateful Mindy seemed to realize it was something she needed and had been playing referee with Anika and Amelia all afternoon. She was sure Mindy had gotten them to text less than they wanted and was probably going to owe them something for getting Amelia to leave the apartment before she went back home. She would have to remember to do something to thank them.
—
Amber pulled the car up to the apartment building and put the car in park. She looked out the window before glancing back at Tara in the passenger seat and raising an eyebrow at her obvious lack of movement.
"You can't hide forever, princess."
Tara sighed, "Thanks again. Sorry if I got in the way today—"
"Not at all." Amber cut her off. She cleared her throat before putting the car back in drive.
Tara took that as her sign that Amber wasn't going to let her hide in her car any longer and unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped out of the car. "See you Tuesday?"
Tara knew it wasn't a question she really had to ask. It was their usual tutor day, and with her midterm being this week, it would be the only time they met up after her test. Even though the words were boring and predictable and she knew what the answer would be, the feeling behind it was more hopeful. Like it maybe something had changed and it wouldn't be because Amber had to but maybe because she would want to.
"Tuesday." Amber nodded and Tara shut the door and made her way towards the apartment building.
Amber waited until she had walked inside before letting out a deep breath and pulling away from the curb. She turned on the radio, still on the station Tara had landed on earlier and smiled to herself. Yeah, she had a crush on Tara Carpenter. But maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
—
"Where on earth have you been?!" Anika's shrill voice hit Tara's ears as soon as she had opened the door.
"Woah, Anika. Give her a minute to like, get inside." Mindy looked torn between defending Tara and supporting Anika in asking Tara where the hell she had been.
Tara took a deep breath trying to remind herself it was only because they cared as she walked over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water.
"Mindy, she was out all night doing who knows what with who knows who and I just dont think it's too much to ask for a text or phone call or carrier pigeon to let us know she's ok." Anika was whispering, loudly, while Mindy used her into the living room and onto the couch.
"So what happened to, 'I may be home early to join you' from last night?" Mindy asked carefully.
Tara knew this wasn't a conversation they were going to let go— especially after her disappearing act and Amelia's attempt at camping out in their living room.
"I just needed some space. To clear my head." Tara replied casually before taking a sip of water.
"Taking some space means going for a small walk, not disappearing for 24 hours!" Anika was doing a poor job at holding it together and usually Tara would have found it entertaining, but not this time.
Mindy sat down next to Anika on the couch and set their hand on her knee in an attempt to calm her down. "We were just worried."
Tara sighed, all it took was Mindy's sincerity and worried expression to break through the frustration she had been feeling and realize she could have handled the situation better. She walked over to the large chair and climbed into it, crossing her legs and pulling a pillow over them to rest her elbows on. She launched right into the story of the events of the night— Her breakup with Amelia, ditching the party, staying at a friends, then spending the day just bumming around. She conveniently left out the part where the 'friend' was her broody and antisocial tutor Amber, and that 'bumming around' meant breaking piles of glass and taking sledge hammers to old toilets and porcelain bathtubs in a junkyard. She was talking to Anika after all and she didn't want her to have a stroke or lecture her about safety goggles and who knows what else.
They both seemed sympathetic if not completely understanding of how Tara handled the situation. Mindy seemed more than pleased with the fact that Tara had broken up with Amelia, and Anika was quick to chastise them for their obvious gleefulness. She left them with an apology and made her way to her bedroom before Anika could ask anything else.
Her phone started to ring as soon as she had dropped down onto her mattress feeling exhausted. She opened it up and saw Amelia's name and immediately felt her stomach tighten. This was the conversation she was dreading the most. Talking to Anika and Mindy was easy compared to what was coming.
What was she supposed to say to her? She didn't regret breaking up with her, and didn't want to work through it. She didn't even really want to talk. She had just spent the night at another girl's house just hours after breaking Amelia's heart, then spent the entire day with the same girl who she's pretty sure barely tolerates her and simply took pity on her. The same girl Tara's now realizing may be one of the most interesting people she's met and the reporter in her or maybe even just personal curiosity is making her want to get to know her better. Even though Amber clearly couldn't wait to get rid of her. So that's not complicated.
"Hey Amelia." Tara sighed quietly as she put the phone to her ear.
"Hey, Carpenter. Can we talk?"
-11395 words. thats alll i have to say.