Lori's POV
There are over seven billion people that make up the world's population, or at least there were before everything fell apart. From what we've seen so far it feels as though that number is now nowhere near the same as it once was. It hasn't been that long yet. God only knows what that number will look like given some more time. The average person could live a long and full life, but they'd still not even meet the one percent of our population. Again, that was before the outbreak. I can't imagine that being the case now. I hate that these are the kind of things I think about throughout the day. But walking around the camp we've been staying at since the beginning, It's hard not to.
Flashback
"Where would we go? The refugee center stopped playing their message on the radio hours ago." Carol's softly spoken words caused more distress to those who didn't already know.
The driver of the church van a few cars back tried to remain calm. "Maybe we should wait. They went after the city 'cause of the sick, right? No one here is. The army has to come for us at some point."
I held onto Carl a bit tighter at T-Dogs unrealistic suggestion.
Shane must've had the same thought running through his mind because he began to address the group of strangers we were surrounded by.
"We can't stay here. It ain't safe no more, not for anybody."
"Why, What do you know?" The blonde haired older sister, Andrea asked. Her arm was wrapped around her younger sister who looked as if she just seen a ghost.
The highway was becoming more chaotic after the bombings and people were on edge trying to figure out a solution to our problem of being stuck out in the open like sitting ducks.
"We had a family member back in the city when everything started. He was one of the soldiers sent to help fight off the virus. When things were turning ugly he called to tell me that the military was losing too many troops. We were on our own. No one is coming for us."
"You don't know, maybe the military will send a different branch to help the army." Amy, her sister said with hope.
"The Army got overrun and The Air Force just bombed the city." Ed's condescending tone was uncalled for but most people chalked it up to being overwhelmed by the situation.
"There were all different uniforms walking the streets. I think whoever they'd call have been called." Jim added to his friends lack of respect. At least his tone was softer than his.
High off his rocker, Merle Dixon chuckled despite the seriousness of our conversation. "The Government ain't here to help us girly. They gonna help themselves firsthand. Ain't a soldier on the ground that would disagree with me."
"How would you know?" Andrea's tone sharpened when he looked at Amy in a unpleasant manner. "All you've done the past few hours is snort your problems away."
His shift in their direction made the woman stand in front of her sister as a human shield against the vile human being who had been nothing but rude since he and his little brother joined them.
"He's a Army vet." Daryl said lowly in attempt to shut Merle up.
"You were in the army?" I asked in disbelief. The honorable men and woman I've met throughout the years active or not were all so different in comparison.
"That's right. What, hard to believe a man like me would serve my country just like your guy did?" He tried poking at her to enter a verbal sparring match. One that Shane didn't allow.
"Watch it, man." He warned.
"So you had yourself a soldier, huh?" Merle looked for any way to get under the mans skin as they came face to face.
"Shane don't. He's not worth it." My hand slipped around his forearm trying to stop a fight before it started.
"Nah, man. Lemme ask you something. Why is it that the best and bravest are fighting against the walking dead right now, but your ass is here consuming enough drugs to put down a horse and being a pain in all of our asses?"
"Whoa, Cherry Topper. I already fought in my time."
"This is a waste of time." Glenn wanted to get back to danger at hand.
The redneck turned his attention towards the young man. "Back when I fought for my country it wasn't for slanted—''
"Merle," Daryl warned with a shout to mask over whatever would slip from his brothers mouth.
"What little brother? I'm just saying it how it is. How do we know that your boy even knew the truth about what was going on? We just gonna take the word of soldier who was called in last minute to —''
"Show some respect when you talk about my family. I don't give a damn what you use to—." Shane tore my hand from his arm when closing in on the redneck who couldn't wipe the smile off his smug face.
"He's a Marine!" Carl's disheartening shout stunned all of us into temporary truce.
Shane turned from Merle who's eyes were widened at the news. He came over to squat down in front of Carl. His softened way of being provided as much comfort as he could give. "We talked about this, buddy. Nate—"
"He's not dead. He's going to find us and when he does you'll be sorry." The best threat that a twelve year old could give was hand in hand with the glare he stared down the older Redneck with.
"The Marines were part of the fallen soldiers?" Dale's thick gray eyebrows were raised in fear.
"This is worse than we thought." Andrea muttered.
"We still don't know if there's—" It was Merle who cut Amy off with a statement that surprisingly didn't contain any disrespect for once. "Marines are who you call when shit goes south, blonde. If they're on the ground there ain't nothing left to save. The Air Force's little firework display had to be the final act."
"There's a kill order on all of us." I threw the information Shane shared with me from Nate's call hoping to stop this insanity. All eyes immediately found me, including Merles. Knowing more about the military than any of us he turned to his brother, "We're getting outta this wasteland. Let's go."
"Wait, where will you go?" Morales asked wanting to follow the man. Not for his personality, but with his knowledge that went unsaid he was the only one who lived through a active war zone before.
"We should stick together." Shane placed his hands on his hips and looked to the brothers as they turned back.
We have a wide range of characters assorted here. Everyone has their own way of pitching in and helping us live while adjusting to the world we now must adapt to. We have different strengths and talents to share with the group but it's a healthy mixture for the most part. I'm grateful for the support we provide each other, especially during the hard moments like these.
Even though we lost more than we have now, we've got each other to lean on. That matters. I know that the friendships I'm making with these people would've never happened before. Our lives wouldn't have even crossed paths. Despite all of the things that make us different we have survived this long for the same reason. The will to live. Our reasons for wanting to live may not be the same, but we want to so we work together.
𝐈 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐲.
𝐌𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫, 𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝.
"So you're planning on supporting Rick with going to the CDC even though it's a mistake?" Shane tries to recruit me into helping talk 'sense' into Rick.
"Of course I will. He's my husband."
"I know you want to be a good wife but you can't tell me fixing your marriage is worth putting people are risk." The nerve of this man.
"Folks around here can make up their mind without bringing my marriage into it."
I say while trying to keep my voice at a normal volume.
"That's a habit you need to break."
"Add it to the list along of ones I need to break whether I want to or not."
"What habits?" Rick stepping out of the RV sends a shiver through my body. Had he heard the whole conversation? Did I say anything wrong? I don't remember. How do people live like this?
Shane tries to cover our history with a lie, "Just my need for a plan man. We leaving or what? Staying here?"
"I was just telling Shane that I think we should trust your gut." It was my own cheap much like his comment. A screw you to Shane making him hang his head in shame.
Shane took him for their shift sweeping the woods. No doubt for a chance to bend his ear more.
Jamie was in between Carol's legs as she was French braiding her waves of dark brown hair. I couldn't imagine losing everything at the young age of five.
Tears slowly trickled down her pale skin from puffy pink eyes. She was timid and hasn't said much even though Sophia and Carl both tried. She was in a constant sea of her own tears and I couldn't blame her.
"Are we leaving today?" Carol asked me. I couldn't respond before a loud yell came from somewhere in the woods.
Daryl barely had time to grab his crossbow when
another piercing yell echoed throughout camp. I stood frightened holding Carl down at my side.
Dixon, along with Glenn and T-Dog took off towards the sound while Morales rushed us women and children towards the RV to get inside.
I felt like I couldn't breathe as one more scream rang out. "Oh my god." I whispered before throwing myself into high gear. "Carl you stay with Carol in the RV, you hear me?"
"Mom!"
"Lori come back!" Morales yelled while I was running off into the woods.
Walking into the small clearing my mouth fell open as I tried to process what my eyes were seeing.
"Lori you shouldn't be here right now." Glenn said even though I was sure neither one of us were okay to see this.
Daryl didn't seem too bothered at the horrendous sight as his voice was normal as ever. "He won't stop."
Nate stood hands wrapped around the neck of a walker as he trapped it against a tree. Repeatedly Nate began jerking its body back and forth bouncing its head off the oak.
It looked like he had been out here for a while since there were a couple other walkers with their heads bashed in that I almost tripped over on the way here.
T-Dog looked sick but remained calm. "How long has he been out here without anyone noticing?"
Nate's body was painted in walker blood. There wasn't much left of the head when Glenn tried to intervene. Daryl pulled him back, "It ain't safe to get involved. He ain't himself right now."
"Lori!" Rick and Shane were coming up behind me. Shane grabbed the back of my head pulling me to his chest to shield my eyes. He was the last person I wanted touching me.
I hadn't noticed my body trembling but I did have the worst case of nausea watching his episode. I snapped quickly from the panic attack and pushed Shane off me. If looks could kill I'd be as dead as the walker in Nate's grip.
His glare followed me as I went to Rick who was explaining Nate's disorder to Daryl, T and Glenn.
Nate looked more defeated than angry which meant it was almost over.
"It's IED, Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Sudden bouts of impulsive, aggressive, violent behavior. Sometimes verbal outbursts but tends to stick with the physical aspect."
Glenn looked mortified, "He killed those walkers with his bare hands. Beat their skulls in and kept going after they were already dead."
"He's worked really hard over the years to learn control. The severity of outbursts with his disorder lessened over time but they can happen." I helped explain.
"So he's a ticking time bomb?" Daryl asked.
"He doesn't ever get mad for no reason." Rick got defensive.
"How is he in a military with a disorder like that?" Glenn was genuinely curious.
Shane's anger subsided when he felt his brother figure needed his attention more than his own problems. "Nate was a rebellious kid when they checked a box in his chart. He's fine. He just has an anger problem like most of us."
"But he just—" T pointed to what remained of a walkers body.
Rick ignored his next comment. "IED was the closest thing to his symptoms but he doesn't have all of them. He has to be triggered. The stress of how things are going is enough to make us all angry."
"When he gets mad like this it usually only lasts twenty to thirty minutes at the most." I looked over to Nate seeing him try to calm himself.
"How bout we leave Rick and Lori to stay with him and we'll head back. Folks are probably freaked out thinking the worst." The only good Shane has done today.
Once the others left Nate came back down. Rick placed one of Nate's blood stained hands against his own chest to help him focus on his heart rate.
It always seemed to do some good after an episode. Helped him keep grounded to his reality.
"I'm sorry..."
"Honey, don't apologize to me. There's nothing to be sorry for, hear me?"I could feel his embarrassment and regret causing his mind to wander.
"I don't ever want you to see me like this." He said while taking a look down at the mess he wore.
"We're your family. There's no where we rather be."
Rick said to comfort him as he held onto his shoulder.
"I was doing okay. Going months between episodes. It's just the last few weeks had been tough and now with what happened, I'm angry but mostly just tired of losing people. I couldn't save Claire and now Jamie has no one. She's just a child."
"The world is changing now. We just have to learn how to change with it." I say.
We stay together and focus on what we can do to survive for as long as we can. We save who we can save." Rick added.
Nate took a minute but nodded while placing his hands on his hips. "We should get back to camp. There could be more of them." Rick reminded us of our surroundings after Nate had convinced us he was under control again.
On our way back he had asked Rick if he made a decision or not about leaving the park for the CDC.
"I know you don't think it's a good idea but we can't stay here anymore. Where would you rather us go?"
"I don't know where I'd go." Nate was quick to answer. "Just know where I wouldn't."
"Shane blames me for leaving. Saying we wouldn't have lost so many people if I hadn't. Last thing I want is to make another call that people will blame me for." Rick stopped in his tracks wanting to keep the conversation away from the others but I knew it was mostly Shane he wanted to ignore.
"Rick, you can't carry that weight. We don't know how things would've been different had you stayed. There's no point in worrying about what ifs. What do you believe in your gut is the right thing to do?"
I never wanted to be in the middle of this decision so I stayed quiet.
"I know you don't agree with it and you're probably right to feel that way. I just know that I love my family and if there's any hope in this world, even a slim chance then I need to take it. I can't stop thinking that the CDC is our best shot."
"Then I'm with you."
We made our way back to camp just as Shane stood ready to address the group. Everyone you looked over in our direction bit their tongues when taking in Nate's appearance. I assume the guys had filled them in.
Miller and Danny, who had made it back from a sweep while we were gone passed me on my way to Carl.
Shane clearing his throat getting everyone's attention as we took a seat on top of a cars hood. His face twisted with worry as he looked up to me like tears could come any second.
Following the direction his eyes wandered to I realized it was because of his uncle. Nate was standing beside his friends as they checked over him to make sure he was okay.
I place a kiss on his forehead and soothe him as my fingers get lost in his hair. "He's okay. We can go see him when dad's done speaking okay?" He nodded as the guys started with their announcement about leaving for the CDC soon. When did Shane have a change of heart?
Carl started practicing his knot technique as the adults paid attention. Shane opened the floor to questions.
Dale asked the first one and the most wanted to ask question as he looked over to Nate, Miller and Danny.
"You guys changed your mind?"
"I can't speak for Miller and Danny, only myself. I think there's no guarantees no matter where we head. After we escaped the city we were on the go for a while. Those were some of the worst days by far. It's not easy being on the road but it's not much safer here. Rick chose what he believes is best for our family.
That's all any of us can do. I've been on the front lines for damn near a decade by my own choice. I put my trust into my country and fought to protect it with no hesitation. I don't regret my choices but now
I'm fighting for my family. If anyone decides to come with us then that includes you too."
Carl and I went with Nate and the guys down to the creek so he could wash up. After changing into fresh clothing it was about time to leave.
Morales family decided to head their own way in hopes to be with their family. They were the only ones to separate from the group.
𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝.
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 𝟑𝟏𝟑𝟎