I woke on Saturday morning at just 10 a.m., and namjoon was still wrapped around me. He looked so peaceful. I didn't want to wake him just yet, so I slipped out of bed, grabbed a bobble, and tied my hair into a bun. Heading out into the kitchen area to grab a glass of water. I snuck back into the bedroom and into the bathroom, I brushed my teeth and cleaned my face. I would just grab a shower later on. I then snuck back out into the kitchen area. I decided to order breakfast for both of us. There was no schedule today for the guys, but tomorrow. They have a photo shoot, and then we head back home to seoul.
Room service arrived 20 minutes later with our breakfast. I walked back into the bedroom.
Walking over namjoon bending over and rubbing his arm, "joon," I called softly, he opened his eyes just slightly.
"Hey, good morning. I've ordered us breakfast if you want to come and get it.
"Yeah, sure. I'll come out now."
I walked out and sat and waited for him to come out, which only took a couple of minutes.
He came and sat with me around the table we ate in silence. Once the food was gone, I got up to move the dirty plates and put them back on the tray, and left them outside the door.
Namjoon had moved to the small sofa. He just watched as I walked back over to him.
"I better get back to my room in a minute and grab a shower. The guys are going over the schedule for the shoot tomorrow."
"Yeah, that's fine."
He stood up and walked towards the door, and I followed behind. It was kind of awkward. Why was it awkward? Maybe he changed his mind?
He turned just before the door.
"Hey, about last night.." He said
Ah.. there it is.
"It's ok, you don't.."
He cut me off before I could finish. "No, I was just going to ask if you still want to do this. A lot can change between last night and this morning?"
"Namjoon, I said I wanted this. I wouldn't have agreed otherwise if you think this might get him to stop and back off a bit and give me a chance to get myself together and move forward because I can't be hung up on him forever. I will always love him, and that will never change, but my life has to move forward, and I can't do that with him chasing off every guy I speak to or him calling me names because I speak to guys, I know I'm being selfish and using you for this and pretending to be in a relationship with you, I-"
"Bella, you're not using me. i offered to do this."
"I know you offered namjoon, but you also had feelings for me. Like I said, I don't want to hurt you.. I don't want to ruin our friendship when you know how I feel about yoongi, and this might all be for Nothing namjoon. What if I can't move on like I said I want to."
"Bella, look, this is to just get him to back off you.. what you do from there is down to you, and look, we both agreed that if any feelings start , I will tell you, bella,"
"Ok," I agreed
"Ok." He smiled, making me smile back. "Now get ready for some joon love. Because we are doing this properly, bella, you can't show any hesitation if I do anything to you, especially kissing as that may give us away."
"No hesitation, got it."
"Oh, and one more thing before I go." He said.
"What's that?" I asked.
"I want to mark you as mine bella. But I'm not going to tell them it was me. He doesn't know i stayed here last night, and then tomorrow at work when I see you, then we will let them know. Let him use his imagination on how far we went, but we need to say that we ended up getting together last night, and I asked you out."
"OK, I got it. Let's do it." I agreed.
He took a couple of steps closer to me. But he didn't go straight for my neck to mark me like he said. No, he leaned down and pulled me in and kissed me.
It took a couple of seconds to register what was happening before i kissed him back. Then he moved to kiss across my jaw. Slowly moving down neck. Then I felt him bite down and suck he did this in three different spots. 2 on my neck and one on my collarbone after he had moved my top to the side. He then came back and pecked me on the lips.
"You did great with that test, no hesitation in kissing me back. And tomorrow, don't cover them up. I mean it let them all see who you belong to." He smiled. Wiping his fingers across the marks, he just left behind, then looked back up into my eyes.
"OK, I won't." I smiled. 'Shit, this is really happening, and it's happening fast. What's the worst that could happen from this, though?' I thought.
"OK, I'm going to get going then, and I'll see you tomorrow morning. 7am, enjoy your day off."
He then left me to go to his meeting about tomorrow afterwards we would all be heading back home to seoul.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I woke up the next morning and got ready to head to the location. I didn't really do much yesterday after namjoon left. I just had a chill out day, spoke to nari, and told her everything that happened.. she just told me to be careful, yoongi was unpredictable. I had gotten dressed after my shower and walked to the bathroom to apply some light make-up. I decided to wear some jeans and a white cropped top with a cherry on the front with some trainers.
(Photo of outfit for inspiration)
All the stylists met in the restaurant at 5:30 am. I grabbed a quick breakfast as it was set up by the management.
"Looks like you had a good night." Sumi whispered next to me.
For a minute, I wondered what she was on about. Until it clicked.
"Yeah, I did." I smiled,
"Good for you, girl. Anyone we know?"
I mean, yeah, but do I just tell her it's all fake, though? Should I let namjoon tell her, or does he want everyone to believe it. I mean, she is a friend, not a close friend like nari. But I've only been here a few weeks. No, just tell her, she knows how yoongi has been she will understand. When it all comes out.
"Yeah. You do." I told her. Like he said, we have to go all in.
"Who?" She asked.
"Namjoon." I whispered just in case walls have ears.
"No fucking way." She whisper shouts.
Sumi was in her late 30s, but you would never tell. Her skin was perfection and didn't look older than 30 at all. She kept up with the rest of us younger ones. She was great to be around, and being the lead stylist, she didn't have any problem with taking me under her wing over the last few weeks.
"I know.. we got together after the after-party. He told me a few weeks ago he liked me. But he came to my room and well things happened." I told her, playing into the lie like namjoon said.
"Does yoongi know? bella, I may not know your story, but I definitely know there is history between you both from some of the things that have been said between you and yoongi, but also that morning with hana."
I gave her a small smile. "There is history, but not what you're probably thinking sumi... and no yoongi doesn't know yet. Namjoon was going to tell everyone today about us."
"So, do you think he is going to be angry?" She asked
"Oh, I know he is.. he hates me, and I just got with his friend and group leader. To him, it will probably feel like the end of the world." I smiled nervously, knowing what was going to happen. "Honestly, I'm kind of scared of how he is going to react in front of everyone today. So please expect chaos."
"I will.. but word of advice bella.. this is namjoon, and your relationship, don't let yoongi tare you apart.. if he hates you enough, he will do exactly that to get you and namjoon to break up." She was right. i knew that could be a possibility, but he would say shit to namjoon about me or come for personally and cause shit between the both of us. Hopefully, namjoon and I can stick all of it out until he backs off and leaves me alone.
At 6.15, we all headed to the vehicles with our luggage in tow as we were heading back to seoul later. Then, we all set off to the location for the photoshoot.
We pulled up to the location at 6.35, and all jumped out and headed inside to set up our stuff for the guys. I was nervous how it was going to play out today, and it got worse at the time drew closer even though i kept myself busy.
At 6.55, I started watching the door, knowing they could walk through it any second. And I wasn't wrong.
They all came walking in.. except namjoon, jin, and jimin, they must still be on their way. Shit, shit, shit. I was hoping namjoon would be here, so I didn't have to face yoongi alone.
Everyone said their good mornings and headed to their seats, and seeing as jimin wasn't here yet, that means I would have to start on yoongi first..
He came over and took his seat doing something on his phone, and I just looked at sumi, who was just standing by her station waiting on namjoons arrival.
I quickly averted my attention back to my station and grabbed the first thing I needed.
I turned around just as he was putting his phone back in his pocket, so I waited for him to sit back down. Then I made a start.
Not even 2 minutes later, he took my wrist in his hand to stop me from working.
I knew he had spotted the hickeys. That's why he stopped me.
'Where are you, namjoon?' I thought. While looking towards the door, then quickly over to sumi again.
"Let me guess?" I heard him say "you fucked Jackson? After everything i said turns out, i was right. You still did it, I even -"
I quickly turned to face him. "You did what? Warn him to keep away from me. Is that it? Well, lucky for you, it wasn't Jackson for your information it was someone else."
"Fucking hell bella, you really are getting about ain't you?"
"Wrong yoongi, your totally fucking wrong.. I stuck by my word of not having any sex until I was in a relationship after the last time.. so you may find what you can see, is the work of my boyfriend." I smiled.
"Yeah, right.. like I believe that, so all of a sudden you have a boyfriend, how convenient for you.. you tell me you still love me not too long ago if I remember and have had feelings for me for 6 fucking years, and tell me your moving on.. fuck off if you haven't gotten over me in all that time after everything I did what makes you think you can move on that quick.." He said quite loud, I noticed looking around the room people had stopped working and everyone was looking at us..
Typical yoongi causing a scene, and now everyone knows how I felt about him.. so I bet they have questions of what actually happened between us.
"Like I said, I can't keep having feelings for someone who doesn't like me back, I need to move on from you and let someone else in who will quite possibly reciprocate their feelings. I can't keep hoping and waiting for you to change your mind when I know that is never going to happen.. not in this life or the next, you hate me so much.. and being back here with you being so close and how you've been towards me, I finally get it, and it needs to stop.. I need to think about me, and I need to be happy, and I think he will make me happy."
"Oh yeah, so who is so called boyfriend then?" He asked in a sarcastic tone, I know he doesn't believe it.
But namjoon, jin, and jimin walked in at that exact moment, and I couldn't be more relieved..
Turning my head to face namjoon and giving him the biggest smile, because in that moment I never felt so happy and relieved he walked in.
Namjoon came walking over, a massive smile on his face bringing out his dimples, and my heart was beating rapidly at this point because I knew this could go one of two ways, yoongi could flip his shit or he could be calm about it because it's namjoon.
"Hi baby." He said, looking down at me then quickly pecking my lips, "I missed you after I left yesterday morning."
"I missed you too." I said back, not daring to look at yoongi.
"Are you serious? you two?" yoongi shouted. I quickly looked around the room at everyone. The room was a mixture of open mouths, shocked faces, wide eyes, and a smile on sumi. So namjoon had not told a single person what was happening between us, so as far as everyone was concerned, this was a real relationship.
I thought he may have told and confided in at least one of the other members, but no. This was 100% real to everyone except us.
"Yeah, she's my girlfriend, hyung." He told yoongi.
In that moment, i realised yoongi still had a hold of my wrist as his grip on me tightened. While he stared at namjoon, he was pissed off with what he had just heard.
I hissed through my teeth at the pain and turned my head away from the pair of them as I tried to blink back the tears.
Namjoon must have noticed, though.
"I'd appreciate it if you let my girl go, hyung. You're hurting her."
Yoongi immediately let go, and I wrapped my hand around the wrist that was hurt. I turned back to face the pair of them, but they were not even paying attention to me.. they were both staring each other down.
I really didn't know what was going to happen at this point, I had seen yoongi angry, like this plenty of times, and the outcomes weren't pretty but namjoon wasn't backing down either, he really meant it being there for me.
But I was more concerned about him getting hurt for it.
I didn't want them to fight, namjoon said he would help get yoongi to back off a bit, but I didn't want to do it like this. They are like family even if they are only a group. I've seen them all interact with each other, and they also had to work together.
But seriously, what was I expecting? Of course, he was going to be angry, but I was expecting it to be towards me for being with namjoon, not him taking it out on namjoon instead.
They couldn't do this, especially not here in front of everyone, so I quickly stepped in between the pair of them.
Facing yoongi, I needed to get his attention from namjoon, but being the shortest of the three, they both were literally looking above me.
"Enough," I shouted, pushing yoongi back slightly, although he didn't move much at all. It did get his attention to snap towards me.
He fixed his gaze on me, staring deep into my soul and running his tongue across the inside of his cheek.
"You are not doing this here right now. We all have work to do, and your problem is with me, not namjoon." I said.
"It's ok, baby. If hyung has something to say, let him -"
I turned to look at namjoon he really shouldn't be goading him like this. "No namjoon, yoongi has said far too much in the last 10 minutes that now everyone knows my shit." And then yoongi just laughed.
"What's so funny?" I snapped. Looking back at him.
"You... you and him, it's so funny you can't have me, so you latch on to the closest thing to me. It could have literally been anyone else. But no, you choose one of my friends, one of my group members."
"I get it, yoongi, I do, but I didn't take my decision lightly on being in a relationship with namjoon. He told me how he felt about me when he last stayed over, I told him how I felt about you and that i was still in love with you.. but the difference is yoongi, unlike you, namjoon, has liked me from when we hung out three years ago. But I was so hung up and focused on you, and after Saturday night, when he found me upset after all that shit you said he comforted me. He looked after me because he fucking cares about me. Namjoon understands what you mean to me.. like i also realised I need to be with someone like him so I agreed to be his girlfriend and we both know it maybe a while before I get over you, but one day I could love him instead." I took a look around the room again. Everyone was still looking and listening to everything. "Yeah, you all heard right. i have feelings for yoongi, and I love him.. have done for years before any of you even knew him, and alot of shit happened which is why i left but that is none of your business unless yoongi wants to air all that out as well which he probably will anything to get back at me, but now you all know my business you go ahead and make your little theories and stories to spread about, you all go telling people while your at it that i moved onto namjoon because I couldn't get yoongi like I wanted, do whatever the fuck you want because namjoon and my relationship is our business," i snapped at all the others in the room.
"Nobody is going to do that in here, bella. Everything said today will be kept in this room. We are all your friends, and it is down to you if you ever want to tell us what happened, not just make up something to cause gossip, right ladies." Jins Stylist jae spoke up, and everyone gave their agreement.
"Same with the rest of us. What happened between you and yoongi is down to one of you to tell us if you want to," taehyung said, and the others agreed
"Thank you all of you," suddenly feeling guilty for having a go at them, "yoongi, namjoon makes me happy, and you may not like that we're together -"
"Your fucking right i don't." He snapped his attention back to namjoon.
"Yoongi." I said, trying to get his attention back.. but it never, but I carried on talking anyway. "I know how much you despise me.. but this hatred you have for me needs to stop, we are grown-ups, not teenagers anymore, I need to live my life, and if I'm with namjoon or not,"
"Not." He said. "I'm not having you two together."
"Yoongi hyung it's not really your choice to make." Namjoon said.
"We shall see." He challenged back. Smirking back at namjoon.
I sighed heavily, "yoongi seriously, you may not want to hear it from the likes of me, but you need to focus on your own life and your own career. Not me anymore."
I could see he wasn't listening to a word i said.
"Yoongi.." still nothing so I placed my hand on his chest like I had so many times before, and bought his attention back to me, he then looked at my hand then back to me.
He reached up and took my hand and wrapped his hand over mine, but what yoongi failed to realise is that his usual calm steady heartbeat picked up its pace at my touch..
My touch affected him.. I had noticed it a few times in the past but never thought to much of it.. or never took note on how many times it had happened.
But there was no mistaking it now, but why?
Was it because he hated me touching him so much it angered him and he just endured it all these years.
Not letting my hand go. He leaned in and whispered in my ear so only I could hear.
"This thing between you and me is never going to end, B.. so you keep believing you'll be happy with namjoon but you never will be because we both know I'm the one you want. I'm the one you will always love and I'll make sure it stays that way."
He then squeezed my hand and let it go after moving it away from him.
What in the actual fuck? Yeah this isn't going to be an easy route pretending to be with namjoon, if anything it's just upset him more, made him more determined to make me suffer and not fall for anyone else..
He just won't allow it..
Why though? I just don't get it.. everyone in this room has established that he doesn't like me. I get that he doesn't want me so why won't he let me just be with someone else? Why does he have to keep getting involved in everything?
I love him, yes, but that will always remain he was my first love. He was something so special to me.
But why is he determined now, that he is going to make sure I always love him and not happy with anyone else.
It really is like he doesn't want me but no one else can either.
There was so many questions I needed to ask that I needed answers to but I knew I'd never get them.
He turned back to namjoon "enjoy you time together while it lasts namjoon but she is only going to hurt you in the end, so I won't have to."
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean hyung?" Namjoon asked.
Yoongi just shrugged his shoulders looked back at me smiled and sat down in his seat clearly done with the conversation.
Namjoon pulled me away from yoongi for a moment to make sure I was OK and to check my wrist over there was a slight bruise starting to form but other than that it was OK.
He also asked what yoongi whispered and I told him, I trust namjoon.
He said we need to get on with work as they are running behind with what just happened but he said we will talk later on.
Before I could turn and walk away back to carry on with yoongi then move over to jimin quickly.
Namjoon whispered "He's watching kiss me."
I couldn't see if he was or not but that's exactly what I did. I wrapped my arms around namjoons neck and he pulled me in by the waist. After making out for a minute or so I pulled away..
"I'll speak to you later then. If he bothers you come over to me bella and I'll switch you with someone else. If he becomes a problem and ill speak to management about it because you shouldn't have to take his bullying."
"OK will do." I smiled.
He pecked my lips again and let me go.
I turned around to see the majority all getting stuck back into work..
Only jimin and yoongi was watching but I caught hobis eyes through the mirror and he smiled.
I made my way back to yoongi who never took his eyes off me.
I'm just glad he let me get stuck in without anything to say and I moved on to jimin rather quickly and they were all out the door for the shoot by 8.45 being 15 minutes late.
All through the shoot yoongi kept his eyes on me as much as he could and I tried to pretend it didn't bother me and kept my focus on namjoon which I know was bothering him.
A few hours later the shoot was done and we took off and headed to the plane to go back home.
Namjoon was in a different seat but messaged me to head to the bathroom and he will follow me a few minutes later.
Of course I asked why and he said let yoongi think we are joining the mile high club.
Of course I had to walk past them all to get there so everyone would see.
I got to near namjoon and smiled carrying on in to the bathroom and locking the door and waiting for him to come.
Hearing a knock on the door, I opened it and pulled namjoon in and locked it again.
Now to stay in this cramped space for a while.