John tried to keep the deep breath he drew in quiet so she couldn't tell how her statement affected him. He forced his voice to be calm before responding. "Married?"
She rubbed her forehead in an effort to soothe her mind. "I was in a room of people. I think it was family. And there was a man standing across the room and he was talking about love and marriage, and he looked my way and said 'Millie... we've loved each other our whole lives. Tomorrow, we will make it official, and you will finally become Mrs. Edwards.' And then the people all clapped, and... and that was it."
"... wow." John replied softly.
"Yeah." She chuckled humorlessly. "But you've never seen a man living with me, right? You would have mentioned something like that."
"Of course I would have." He said somewhat defensively. He drew in a breath to calm himself, knowing his frustration wasn't with her. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone go in or out of your house but you. I could have missed guests here and there of course, but I'm pretty sure I would notice if anyone else lived right beside me for the past seven months."
"Right." She said absentmindedly. "But my last name is Edwards, so we had to have gotten married. Maybe he's in the military on deployment and left before I moved. Maybe we're separated? Or divorced? Or..." she gasped before turning to look at him. "What if he's dead? Could I be a widow?" She turned to look back out the windshield, wide eyed.
"Millie." He reached over and placed his hand on hers. "It will come to you eventually. I know this isn't very encouraging, but for now all you can do is wait and see." He glanced to see her nodding her head slowly. "That being said, if he hasn't shown up for the past seven months, you have no pictures of both of you, his name isn't on any of the bills you found, or anything else, then you're probably no longer in each other's lives for one reason or another. I take it you didn't find men's clothes in your bedroom or anything in your bathroom?"
She shook her head and spoke quietly. "No, nothing."
He released her hand, and they rode in silence for several minutes before she spoke up again softly. "This is such a big wake up call. I have this whole past that I know nothing about. It was so easy to just assume I was a single, carefree woman who could just pick up and live life how I wanted. Now, I don't know what to think anymore."
"I'm sorry I can't be of more help to you." He said gently.
"No, you've been a huge help, John. Obviously. And thank you so much for today, I really did have so much fun. I hate it ended in such a .... I don't even know what word to use to describe this. Not fun, I guess." She chuckled dryly.
A few minutes later he pulled in and parked in his driveway and they got out. "It's late, I'll walk you to your door."
"It's fine, it's just right there." She motioned to her house.
"Exactly, so it's no big deal for me to walk you over." He offered her a smile as they walked over and up on her porch. Once she unlocked her door and started to open it, he nodded and spoke. "Try to not worry too much and get some rest, Millie. It will be ok."
"Thanks, John. I appreciate that." She smiled and stepped inside her door. "Goodnight."
"Good night." He said as he stepped back and turned to walk down her steps, glancing behind him to make sure she shut and locked the door.
He took his time walking over to his house, his mind reeling. He had almost kissed her. If he hadn't been able to visibly see that she had lost herself in a memory like she had when they were decorating the tree... He shook his head, berating himself. Just a second or two more and he would have leaned forward and took her in his arms. He had wanted to. He had wanted to so badly.
He let out a long breath as he unlocked his door and let himself inside, tossing his keys and wallet into a tray on the entry table. He unconsciously led himself to his bedroom as his thoughts were consumed with the woman next door. He suddenly felt exhausted, yet he knew his mind wouldn't let him sleep soon. So he went into his bathroom and decided to take a shower instead, hoping to wash away the sweat and grime from the day but also his thoughts.
He stepped into the water and leaned forward, bracing his hands on the cold tiles as he let the warm water run down his back. Why is it he seemed to find someone he clicked with yet there were obstacles in their way? The most frustrating thing was he didn't even know what all the obstacles were. Once her memories returned, would they be able to move forward and have the relationship he had begun to so desperately want? Did she even want a relationship like that with him? The way she looked at him and leaned into him tonight on the train, he had thought so. But once her memories returned...
He drew in a deep breath as he stood up and brushed his hair back and let the water run over his face. Once her memories returned, she would remember her past with whoever that man was, and she would remember why she had turned down his offer of a date when they'd first met. Was there a chance they were still together somehow? Was he gone on deployment and would be joining her in their new home when he returned? Maybe she was simply to make the house a home until he was there for them to do it together.
Why had he asked her out in the first place? It wasn't like him to so quickly try a personal relationship with a coworker. He had seen how messy things could get when those relationships ended badly. When he'd asked her out it was because he was physically attracted to her, and they seemed to get along well while they talked. He didn't actually know if they'd be a good match and make any kind of real connection.
But now... now he had spent actual quality time with her, and he was hooked. Yeah, she didn't know her past or details of her life, but she was still her. She was fun and spontaneous yet also vulnerable. Her personality and her quirks seemed to draw him in at every turn.
He turned and lathered his head with shampoo and let the water wash it down his back as his mind continued running through everything. He had to admit to himself, he liked helping her, he liked feeling like she needed him.
He cursed under his breath as he finished washing and rinsing and turned off the water. He stepped out and looked at his blurry reflection in the steamed-up mirror, gripping the counter with both hands. "You're just setting yourself up for heartache, you idiot." But as he released a breath and brushed his teeth, he knew it was no use to argue with himself. For right now, she didn't have anyone else, and he wasn't going to just leave her when she needed help.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Late the next morning, Archie plopped onto his bed in the corner of the living room with a big humph. He would take a nice, happy nap after the long walk she had just taken him on. She had barely slept last night and when daylight had finally arrived, she decided she couldn't lay there staring at her blank room anymore. Without even realizing it, she had walked aimlessly throughout the town for over two hours before they began their journey home.
She sipped on a glass of water as she spent the next hour going down the rabbit hole of trying to find any information on Evan Edwards online. Since searching for her own name hadn't resulted in anything, she hoped she could get a glimpse of something through him. Apparently, she shared her name with a famous 19th century author so that was all she had found when searching herself days ago. And there were a lot of Amelia Edwards on social media, many of which had very strong privacy settings that she couldn't get by without signing into her account.
Unfortunately, her online search for Evan was proving just as difficult. He shared a name with a major league baseball player, and she couldn't seem to find anything else with that name attached to it. Nothing that looked like the man from her memories, anyway.
Feeling discouraged, she treated herself to a long bath before tackling more of the boxes in the office. She decided that even if it didn't help her memories, she could at least unpack some more of her things and attempt to make this place a home. An hour before dusk, she took a break to eat some cheese and crackers and watch a movie on TV. But before the opening credits ended, she was asleep.
She jolted awake just barely after dawn the next morning. With apparently no chance of going back to sleep, she let Archie outside and then got herself ready for the day. Last night she had decided she would do something about how impersonal this home felt. Even if that did mean spending some of her limited rainy-day cash, she felt the mood boost it would give her would be worth it. Looking up the nearest major store that would be open this early, she set out on the fifteen minute walk to a nearby shopping center. Two hours later she was putting printed photos into frames and hanging them on the walls in the living room. So far, she had pictures from the amusement park, the dog park, pictures of Archie and Pi, and just random pictures throughout town. They may seem generic to anyone else who saw them, but she had memories to go with them, so they were special to her.
Spirits somewhat uplifted, she cleaned up the trash and tools from her project. As she returned the small hammer to the drawer in the kitchen, she noticed the flyer she had put on her refrigerator. "Oh, yeah. The PTA Block Party. Looks like it starts in half an hour." She smiled and looked up the address of the large public park on her phone to see how long it would take her to walk there. "Looks like I better get moving, Pi." She gave the cat a scratch on his rump and stood to go take a shower.
Fifteen minutes later she walked into the living room, causing Archie to lift his head up from his nap on the floor. "I might be gone for a while, Arch so how about you go outside in the yard instead of in the crate?" She let him outside and made sure his water was full before closing and locking the door. She made sure Pi's water and food was full before heading out the front door.
As she neared the park, she noticed the crowd already gathered at the entrance. "Wow, this must be a popular event." She commented to the man at the ticket counter, handing him a ten dollar bill.
"It sure is, we've been doing it for about fifteen years now. It's our biggest fundraiser for the local school system. It started in the school sports fields but grew so big we had to move it here. Most of the games inside are free with your admission ticket, but there are donation jars all around should you decide to donate more. The main things that are extra cost are food, drinks, and the games that offer prizes. Although there are water stations throughout for free."
"That's great. Thank you for volunteering to support the schools."
"I appreciate that. Thank you for coming to support us as well."
"Thank you. Have a great day." She said to the man and moved on into the park.
She spent the first several minutes simply browsing through the park, taking in all of the games and activities available and enjoying watching the children and families play and enjoy time together. All the while she took photos of the event.
"Hey, Edwards!"
She turned to find Ben Simmons standing behind a table at a booth. "Hey Ben, how are you?"
"I'm doing well, and you?"
"I'm good. This seems like quite the event." She smiled. "What do you have here?"
"Oh, this is information on West Patton High's offerings for Science and Engineering. Come check out our station." He waved her over and she stepped inside the booth. "We have some cool science projects here that kids can explore, like this one where you can make a tiny dancer. Sarah, how about you give us a demonstration."
"Hi Miss Edwards." The girl smiled.
"Hi Sarah." She smiled, assuming this girl must have been one of her students as well. "It's nice of you to volunteer for the block party during your summer break."
"Oh, I don't mind. It's really fun and our booth has a donation box that goes directly to the fund for our trip to the regional science competition this coming winter. I really feel like we can make it to state this year with the group we have."
"That's great Sarah, I'm sure you can do it." She smiled.
"We definitely will." Ben spoke up. "I have more guests to talk out of their money, Edwards. I'll see you later. You're in good hands with Sarah here."
"Ok, thanks Ben."
"All right Sarah, show me how to do this." She offered the girl a smile.