The episode opens up to a shot of Heaven's golden gates. The gates open and "Cherub Towne" is shown. Cletus flies in front of the camera.
Cletus: Well, howdy! I'm Cletus! Welcome to Heaven! Guess you did somethin' good to get here, and good people deserve to give loved ones special blessin's!
The Cherubs appear on a small, old-fashioned TV which zooms out onto the I.M.P Headquarters. Blitzo blasts the TV with his flintlock pistol, and it explodes.
Millie: Nice one, B!
Blitzo: Gimme another, Mox.
Moxxie nervously sweeps away the flaming debris and puts another old-fashioned TV onto the stand. He turns it on with a scared look on his face. The 666 News logo appears. Blitzo pours gunpowder into his flintlock.
Blitzo: Eh, nah. Not feelin' it. Next!
Moxxie switches the channel. A demonically dressed Betty Boop appears in black and white, dancing erotically with prominent, bouncing breasts, holding a pitchfork. Moxxie flinches in anticipation. Blitzo and Millie look bored.
Blitzo: Uh-huh. Keep going, keep goin', keep goin'...
Moxxie switches the channel again. Wally Wackford appears on the screen dressed in white with a black top hat, holding a cane.
Wally Wackford: I say, I say, are you lookin' to get work making crazy contraptions and goofy gadgets?
Wally whacks his cane on the wall at either side of him, producing the graphics for "CRAZY CONTRAPTIONS" and "GOOFY GADGETS" as he speaks.
Wally Wackford: WELL, call me at Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea Factory,
The Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea "Factory" ™ title appears against a similar circular background of classic old cartoons. The panel with the title then falls over forwards, landing with a
Wally: Where you make the things and I make the money!
Wally moves close to the screen with a pleading look.
Wally: Please! I'm very desperate!
Blitzo: Bingo!
Blitzo shoots and explodes the TV again, scattering debris.
Millie: WOO! You're on a roll, sir!
Back with Loona, she sat at her desk. She has one foot up on the table that twitches in her sleep. A plastic cup with her name written on it and filled with water sits on the table next to her foot.
Loona sat quietly, observing Y/N as he sat on the couch, engrossed in a Batman comic. Y/N's fascination with comics was nothing new to Loona. She had seen him lose himself in the pages of his favorite stories countless times before, finding solace and comfort in the colorful adventures of his beloved characters.
As she watched him, a small smile tugged at the corners of Loona's lips. There was something endearing about the way Y/N became so absorbed in his interests.
As Loona observed Y/N reading his Batman comic, her thoughts drifted to the events that had transpired earlier, particularly his burnout. Guilt gnawed at her conscience as she replayed the scene in her mind, wishing she could turn back time and be there for him when he needed her most.
Loona hesitated for a moment before mustering up the courage to sit next to Y/N on the couch. She cleared her throat awkwardly, trying to start a casual conversation with him.
Loona: Hey, Y/N, how's the comic? Are you enjoying it?
Y/N looked up from his comic book, his expression momentarily distant as he processed Loona's words. After a brief pause, he responded in a monotone voice.
Y/N: Yes, it's good.
Loona sensed the awkwardness in the air, her attempts at conversation falling flat. She racked her brain for something else to say, anything to break the tension between them.
Loona: Um, do you have any favorite characters?
Y/N paused again, his brow furrowing slightly as he considered her question.
Y/N: Batman, Catwoman, Alfred, and Deathstroke.
Loona's heart sank at the lackluster response, feeling a pang of disappointment that her efforts to connect with Y/N were met with such minimal engagement. She bit her lip, unsure of how to proceed, but determined not to give up.
Loona: Batman's pretty cool. Have you read any other comics lately?
Y/N: No.
The two were then caught off guard by a rumbling which also knocks Loona's cup over, spilling its contents.
Y/N flinched at the sudden rumbling, his senses heightened by the unexpected disturbance. The sound echoed in his ears, sending a jolt of discomfort through his body. As Loona's cup toppled over, spilling its contents onto the floor, Y/N felt a surge of anxiety wash over him.
Loona: Guys... do you feel that?
Blitzo: Oh, shit! Is that a hellshake?
Y/N's breath caught in his throat at the mention of the potential threat, his muscles tensing instinctively. He shifted uneasily in his seat, his senses on high alert as he braced himself for whatever may come.
Moxxie: That's possible?
Millie: Alright! Don't panic, Moxxie!
Moxxie's tail stiffens from being startled by Millie's sudden outburst. She then grabs his arms in an attempt to "calm" him.
Moxxie: I'm not "panicking," because hellquakes don't happen.
Loona roughly grabs hold of Moxxie and shakes him.
Loona: STOP GETTING HYSTERICAL, FATTY!
Loona slaps Moxxie in the face, sending him flying against the wall and slightly dazing him.
Feeling overwhelmed by the sudden chaos and uncertainty, Y/N's instincts kicked in, urging him to seek comfort in familiar coping mechanisms. Without hesitation, he curled up on the floor, his body instinctively seeking the safety of a tight, protective ball.
As he nestled into his curled-up position, Y/N began rocking himself back and forth, the rhythmic motion a soothing balm to his frazzled nerves.
As Loona observed Y/N curling up on the floor and rocking back and forth, her heart clenched with empathy for her boyfriend in distress. Without hesitation, she moved closer to him.
Loona: Hey, Y/N. It's okay. I got you.
She reached out a hand, her touch light as she placed it on his shoulder.
Loona: Take deep breaths with me. In... and out. In... and out.
Moxxie is then knocked down further by what appears to be a wrecking ball made of black tubes Part of the wall crumbles on top of Moxxie, crushing him. As the dust clears, the wrecking ball untangles into multiple robotic tentacles and a supervillain-esque demon uses two of them to hoist himself into the room through the hole, covering himself with his cape. Loona growls while holding Y/N.
Loopty Goopty: Do not be afraid!
The man grins and extends his robotic tentacles.
Blitzo: Please tell me you got that insurance thing.
Millie takes out her black axe.
Millie: Who are you, and what do you want?!
Loopty Goopty extends a tentacle into a loop-de-loop and slides along it to the other side of the room.
Loopty: I am Loopty Goopty! Dastardly inventor of all things loopy and loopiiiiiish!
Loona: Coulda just used the door, dude. Doesn't need to be this whole thing.
Loopty: I am eccentric and must therefore do eccentric SHIT!
Loopty Goopty does a wavy dance. Blitzo sniffs him and flinches.
Blitzo: Ugh! This old fuck reeks of the living world. Did you just die?
Loopty: YEEEEES! Moments ago, in fact! Which is what brought me HEEEERE!
Loona taps on her phone.
Loona: Just sayin'... the front door would've gotten you here fine.
Loopty: Shut up, dear furry!
Loona growls in anger. Y/N hugged her tightly. She immediately calmed down and hugged him.
Loopty Goopty appears in front of Loona and turns to Blitzo.
Loopy: This is the man I'm gonna need you to kiiiill!
He holds up an old photo of an old bald man in a bed. Blitzo takes the photo from him.
Blitzo: Not even a shit's length of time in Hell and already plotting revenge. I can respect a man with that sort of passion! I'm Blitzo, the "O" is silent.
Loona walks away holding Y/N, as Blitzo walks over to Loopty and shakes his hand.
Loopty: What "o"?
Blitzo: Aww, thank you. Now, what's the tea, sis?
Loopty: The TEAAAA?!
Moxxie's arm appears as he struggles under the weight of the debris.
Moxxie: Guys, help!
Blitzo: Yeah, why are we killin' this guy? I mean, what did he do to you?
Moxxie's arm inches back and he squeals in pain.
Moxxie: LOSING... OX--!
Loopty: He was... my business partner! You see, I was not always an old man!
An old film montage in brown shades depict Loopty's early life.
Loopty: My partner Lyle and I ran Lyle-Loopty Robotics, a technological empire!
Lyle and Loopty pose with capes and spiral glasses on top of a tall building labeled "Lyle-Loopty Robotics". The building is surrounded by factories and columns spewing smoke. A line of text fades into view at the bottom of the screen reads "very dramatic re-enactment from earlier that day", with a question mark at the end joining it seconds after.
Loopty Goopty: Earlier today, we were testing a new machine intended to stop, or reverse, the aging process!
The clips show Loopty putting wires together and Lyle tightening a bolt with a wrench. The two stand by a large white machine labeled "De-age-ifier." Loopty is briefly seen slapping Lyle on the ass.
Loopty: It could've saved all three trillionaires!
Cuts to the interior of the De-age-ifier machine. The handle twists and the door swings open. Cuts back to Lyle and Loopty. Lyle puts on his goggles and the two step into the machine.
Loopty: Unfortunately, we neglected to test the machine on the poor, like we usually do. We were too sure of our own genius! But the machine was accidentally set FORWARD!
The two men stroll into the chamber and close the metal door. A lever next to the door labeled "YOUNG" and "OLD" is set to "OLD" at the bottom.
Loopty: By the time we managed to get out... it was too late! At least... for me!
The two men struggle to open the door, pounding on it. Both of them rapidly shrivel up and age. Loopty stares in horror at his shriveling hands. Lyle grows old and fat and slides to the floor. Loopty clutches at his chest as he suffers a heart attack, then falls dead to the ground, his leg twitching. A man opens the door, sees the two men, and motions for doctors to come in. They put a stethoscope over Loopty's heart, and they shake their heads somberly. A woman puts an oxygen mask over Lyle's nose and mouth. Loopty's body is zipped shut in a body bag.
Loopty: Now, that evil son of a bitch is going to take over the empire WE BUILT TOGETHER! Without me to share it with, he'll make all the goddamn money in the world and become the fourth trillionaire... and get ALL the credit!
Scene cuts to Lyle laughing evilly as piles of money rain down on him.
[Back to I.M.P. office.]
Blitzo: Ehhh, that's not really evil.
Loopty: It's evil towards meeee!
Moxxie, still stuck under the rubble. He weakly reaches his hand out for help.]
Moxxie: Everything... is going... dark--
Loopty: Now, get your crimson asses up above and send that heartless, no-good son of a bitch to Hell, where he belongs!
Blitzo: Eh, y- y- y- You do know, Poopty--
Loopty: Looooptyyyy!
Blitzo: Of course! Of course... If we do kill him, though, and he ends up down here... y'know, you will be stuck with him. Forever.
Loopty: Oh, trust me...
Loopty summons an array of weapons from his back on a series of mechanical armatures: a pistol, a rifle, a missile launcher, and a circular saw blade.
Loopty: I'm counting on it.
Moxxie: That's kinda hot!
Everyone glances at Moxxie.
/////
I.M.P. crew wearing wigs and disguises on a tour bus. Moxxie looks through binoculars at Lyle's mansion. Y/N was wearing sunglasses and Loona was in her human form.
Loona: Gee! I wonder whose house this is.
Tour Guide: And to your right is the home of famous inventor, Lyle Lipton!
The crowd "oohs" and takes pictures with their cell phones. Blitzo removes his sunglasses, wearing a clown wig.
Blitzo: Let's do it, gang!
Loona: Really, right here? In front of all these people?
All three Imps pull out their weapons: Blitzo a flintlock pistol, Moxxie an assault rifle and Millie two sharp swords. The Imps jump over a fence and land in poses.
Millie: Let's kill this rich guy!
The Imps race over toward the windows. Loona face palmed.
Tour Guide: And here you'll find three tacky stalkers about to attempt a murder! Things like this could happen to famous people all the time!
People snap pictures. Loona looked surprised by this. Y/N just watched.
Blitzo and Millie dash over to the window, while Moxxie slides on his back. Moxxie peers through the window, joined by the sock puppet cat on Blitzo's tail.
Moxxie: Wow...
Millie and Blitzo then join him in looking through the window.
Lyle Lipton is lying on his bed, an IV bag attached to him. A heart rate monitor sits on a shelf next to the IV bag. A TV screen and video player sit at the other side of his bed, connected to the bed itself. Lyle is holding a framed picture in his hands, looking at it sadly.
Moxxie: That machine really did a number on him.
Lyle kisses the picture, his hands trembling.
Lyle: Goodbye... my one true love.
Lyle runs a finger down the picture lovingly. The picture in the frame is shown to consist of a stock image of dollar bills with a "Free Stock Photos" watermark over it. Lyle then puts the frame down and grabs the tube from his IV bag and begins tying it.
Lyle: All the riches of the world can't fill the emptiness I'm feeling now that my shitty old body can't do anything of value.
Blitzo: Oh, fantastic! He's gonna do our job for us!
Loona and Y/N walked over to the trio.
Lyle finishes making a noose out of the tube, pulling the knot taught.
Moxxie: Should we go in there and tie it for him?
Lyle is about to put the makeshift noose over his head as the Imps watch with drinks and popcorn. The noose glows white and a concussive force knocks the Imps back.
Blitzo's cat sock, and Y/N's comic and sunglasses were blown away by the blast, making them sad.
Loona growled as she looked inside. Lyle adjusts to the light and sees the three Cherubs floating down gracefully in three rays of light.
Lyle: Oh lord, I'm being haunted by ugly orphan children now!
Blitzo and Moxxie were recovering from the sudden blast of light. Moxxie rubs his head.
Blitzo: Who the fuck are they?
Moxxie: Oh, no! Sir, those are...
Cletus: Cherubs, Mr. Lyle!
Lyle: I hate filthy, stinking orphan children!
Collin: We're here to convince you not to kill yourself, sir. To grant you a blessing, on behalf of those in Heaven... benefited by your amazing... technological advances.
Blitzo: Oh, HEEEELL no!
An angry Blitzo rolls up his sleeve, hoisting his flintlock pistol at the same time. He then marches in through the window, smashing the glass instantly.
Blitzo: Don't listen--
Misjudging where the floor is in relation to the window, Blitzo face-plants onto the floor, multiple glass shards sticking out of him. Moxxie enters through a door to the side, Millie peeking in.
Moxxie: Lyle Lipton, it is our--
Moxxie glances at Blitzo before looking back at Lyle.
Moxxie: ...humble opinion that you should continue the process to commit die.
Millie: I mean, what do you expect to do with all this money now you're old... and gross?
Loona: Gramps, just save yourself the trouble and stop breathing.
Keenie: Is that a serious question?
Keenie adjusts Lyle's bedsheets, revealing his wallet full of dollar bills. Cletus grabs the wallet.
Keenie: He can help spread his wealth around with the people of the world! And do so much good with it! And be so fulfilled!
Keenie flies around, grabbing Lyle's wallet from Cletus and happily throws Lyle's dollar bills in the air.
Lyle: Nnnno!
Collin: He could pay for new hospitals and schools!
Lyle: Why won't you let me die?
Blitzo appears beside him.
Loona: He clearly wants to die.
Blitzo: Loony's right. It sounds like ya need help offin' yourself there, buddy. Moxxie, what do we got for this fella?
Moxxie reaches into his coat and tosses a variety of weapons to Blitzo and Lyle. They each catch an assault rifle, Blitzo also catching a crossbow with his tail.
Moxxie: I have some assault weapons, crossbow, hunting bow, Tommy gun, old-fashioned shotgun, revolvers in three colors, chainsaws, katanas--
Collin: He's classier than that!
Lyle points the assault rifle into his mouth, before Collin takes it from him.
Collin: There are still plenty of reasons to live, Mr. Lyle!
Millie: Yeah, right. Smells like he ain't been out of bed in months!
Y/N sniffs Lyle. He becomes visibly ill, covering his mouth, and Loona Moxxie by the shoulder as he vomits on the floor. Loona pats him on the back.
Cletus: Life can be beautiful at any age!
Keenie: And we'll show him!
Cletus, Collin, and Keenie: Yeah!
Blitzo, Moxxie, Loona, and Millie: NOOOOO--!
/////
The three cherubs roll Lyle in his bed outside to a hill overlooking a forest and a lake.
Cletus: Look around, Lyle. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age! Or wealth!
Collin: If you were to end your life, you'd be missing aaaaaall of this!
Blitzo appears in a tiger costume.
Blitzo: Mm-hm. You're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?
Blitzo does a suggestive gesture with his fingers, indicating sex.
Keenie covers her mouth and gasps. Collin blankly stares in disbelief, and Cletus gives a disappointed look.
Keenie: That is so inappropriate!
Millie and Moxxie appear in cat costumes. Loona was in her hellhound form. Y/N wasn't dressed up as an animal.
Millie: Weren't you supposed to wear the bear suit?
Y/N: I...didn't wanna wear it.
Millie shrugged and and looked at Lyle.
Millie: Oh, kiss our ass, prude!
She flips a double bird at Lyle.
Blitzo shoves Lyle aside in the face and sits next to him.
Blitzo: Aaaanyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close.
Blitzo grabs a pair of binoculars out of nowhere. Lyle looks through the binoculars and sees an adorable group of bunnies and squirrels together. The critters are suddenly torn apart and eaten by a pack of hungry wolves.
Lyle: Ohhhh, noooo!
Collin: S-Stop looking!
Lyle: I CAN'T stop! I've never wanted to die more than I do now!
A bear swipes a wolf to the ground. It raises a paw to attack but is then crushed by a falling tree, cut down by a beefy logger with a chainsaw. A beehive lands on the man's head and he screams, flailing his head to get the hive off while also throwing his chainsaw into the air. The chainsaw comes back down, cutting both of the man's arms off and causing him to scream harder, before his body is skewered from behind by the antlers of a charging stag as lighting flashes dramatically.
Loona covered Y/N's eyes to avoid sensory overload.
Everyone freezes in horror, Blitzo faking it before grinning smugly.
Cletus: Uhhh, let's go check out someplace else!
Millie and Moxxie bump fists, the paws of their cat costumes squeaking.
/////
At a shopping mall. Lyle in his bed is pushed through the door hard enough to destroy both it and part of the wall surrounding it.
Lyle: Oh, Lord! Where are we now?! Let me perish!
Keenie: We're here to show you another thing life is worth living for: childhood wonderment!
Keenie motions to a crowd of kids cheering by a sitting Santa Claus. One kid wears a "Craft Mine" shirt.
Lyle: Why... look at those sweet, disease-ridden vermin. Th- Their joy comes from innocence, unspoiled by the burdens of adulthood... and their middle-class existence! Such simple joy they have. It is inspiring. Thank you for showing me this.
Blitzo: Hey, dipshit!
Pans over to Blitzo and Millie dressed as elves, Loona was also wearing a elf costume but it was more gothic and a little slutty. Y/N was wearing a Christmas onesie and blushing at Loona, who was smirking at him, while a grumpy Moxxie wears a Rudolph costume. They stand by Santa with a kid in his lap.
Blitzo: Wanna see whose lap you're sittin' on?
Blitzo grabs Santa's beard and rips off the costume. "Santa" is revealed to be an ugly, sweaty gnome wearing a "#Cuties" shirt and underwear, making a gnome noise. The kids scream and run in terror. Lyle sobs like a baby as Collin and Keenie cover his eyes. A concerned Cletus pushes the bed away.
Boy: Santa's EVIL!
Just then five police cars arrived and started shooting at the gnome.
/////
Now to Lyle in bed in the woods next to a crude wooden sign reading "LOVERS' LOOKOUT", a cartoon heart replacing the O in "LOVERS'". A small note underneath it, possibly written after the fact, reads "I guess..."
Lyle: Egh! This place reeks of TEENAGERS!
Cletus: Lovers' Lookout, sir! We're here to remind you about possibly life's greatest joy of all!
Lyle: Money!
Collin: No! Love.
Lyle: I've never been in love before. I imagine it's quite nice!
Collin: It's not too late, sir! You can still find--
The Imps arrive wearing wigs and dresses.
Blitzo: HA! Nice try, ugly.
He pulls out a megaphone.
Blitzo: Hey, horny lovers! Which one of you would FUCK this old man?!
All the cars speed away in an instant. Lyle deflates, dejected.
Collin: You know, you three are so utterly c-c-cruel! We're just trying to give hope to someone in need!
Moxxie: Oh... and you three are so superior to us just because WE want some selfish, greedy, authoritarian capitalist to keel over DEAD!
Moxxie through his hands out for emphasis.
Blitzo: You're makin' things too real now, Moxxie.
Blitzo walks up to Moxxie with a spray bottle labeled "PISS", adjusts the nozzle, then sprays it into Moxxie's face, causing him to flinch and hiss.
Cletus: And those two!
He pointed at Y/N and Loona. Loona was making out with Y/N and sitting on his lap as he sat on a bench.
Blitzo: What's the problem? I trust Y/N completely.
Cletus: They aren't even married! And that boys autistic!
Blitzo: So what, I've done way-Wait! What was that last thing?
Collin: Autistic individuals are... unconventional.
Keenie: Heaven sees them as... defective. Unfit for the divine purpose.
Millie pulled out an axe. Blitzo pulled out a crossbow.
Moxxie: Now hold on a minute! You can't just label someone based on some outdated belief. We have no proof that Y/N's autism affects his abilities or judgment.
Cletus sprayed Moxxie with the spray bottle.
Lyle: I've known inventors who are autistic, all of them are really great people.
/////
Inside of an auditorium. A woman dressed as a Viking sings opera on stage while wearing a fake unicorn on her lower torso. A well-dressed man plays a grand piano behind her. The cherubs and the audience are also well-dressed, though Lyle only wears a bowtie over his simple, sweat-stained hospital gown.
Cletus: Behold! The wonder of art and music! Somethin' always there to comfort... entertain... and live for!
Up above the stage, the three Imps, Loona, and Y/N, look down from a catwalk near the ceiling. Blitzo wags his butt and tail like a cat. Y/N looked uncomfortable at being this high above ground.
Millie: So... how do we make this bad?
Moxxie: We can't. There's literally nothing bad about opera. That's fact.
Blitzo: Unless we ruin it somehow!
With a mischievous grin, Blitzo grabs the spotlight and moves it away from the singer. The singer pauses and follows the light, resuming her song. Blitzo moves the spotlight again, and the singer again pauses to follow it.
Lyle: She's not very good.
Blitzo chuckles softly and moves the light faster and faster around the stage as Lyle and the cherubs narrow their eyes in suspicion. Y/N looked around.
Y/N: We...need to ruin this?
Blitzo: Yes! And run those Ableism little bitches!
Loona:...What did they say about Y/N?
Blitzo got an idea.
Blitzo: Well, they said he was defective.
Loona's eyes widened and twitched.
She grabbed the spotlight and breaks it off entirely. The woman sings a final high note before the light crushes her on stage, smashing her to pieces and splattering blood all over the stage.
The audience, Lyle, and the cherubs scream, while the pianist nervously tries to keep playing, his face drenched in sweat.
Y/N covered his mouth.
Blitzo: Well, at least you made it bad.
The three cherubs fly angrily up toward the Imps.
Cletus: THAT'S IT! I HAVE HAD IT! You five monsters have messed with us enough!
Collin: D'ooh, we're just trying to do our j-j-job!
Moxxie: Well, so are we!
Cletus: EEENNNOOOUGH!
The Cherubs summon golden crossbows and aim them at the imps.
Cletus: We are saving that shitty old man's life, whether he wants it or not!
Blitzo: Well, someone wants that fucker dead, m'kay? And he paid in advance, and I spent it all on this...
Blitzo reaches into his coat and pulls out a jewel-encrusted green horse figure wearing sunglasses and a "MARE-AJUANA" cap.
Blitzo: ...so he's gotta go!
Y/N: We...were hired to do this. Sorry?
Keenie flies into Y/N's face.
Keenie: You all are such disgusting, loathsome beasts! Your kind is nothing but dirt that shitty dead people tread on! You and hell!
Y/N: Um, was that aimed at me? Demons? Or people with disabilities?
Keenie: And now, you're trying to meddle with the lives of HUMANS?!
Millie pushes Y/N aside.
Millie: So are you! So why don't you shut your trap, you judgmental, cotton candy, tit-havin' BITCH?!
Keenie: FILTHY DEMON CRAP!
Intense opera music plays as the fight scene begins. Keenie and Millie roll over in a cat fight. Cletus and Collin shoot golden arrows at Blitzo, Y/N, Loona, and Moxxie who run away, drawing their guns in the process.
Millie and Keenie roll off the catwalk. Moxxie sees them and jumps off of the catwalk, grabbing and swinging on a rope. He aims his pistol at Keenie, who is still fighting with Millie as they fall.
Millie and Keenie exchange punches to the face. Moxxie aims up and fires at a rope which releases a sandbag. The sandbag slams into Keenie, separating her and Millie, and Moxxie swings over and catches Millie as Cletus and Collin chase them down, firing their crossbows. Loona growled and looked at Collin. She attacked Collin.
Millie grabs Moxxie's face and they stare into each other's eyes with lustful grins. They make out as they swing above the stage, Millie pulling two machine guns out of Moxxie's coat and firing as they spin rapidly. Blitzo climbs onto a catwalk and spots Millie's bra and Moxxie's bow tie fly past him. The bullets hit and kill various audience members in the first two rows, but they all miss Lyle.
Y/N ended up getting knocked off and landed right next to Lyle.
Lyle: It's all starting to make sense now young man! Life is worth living because we only get one! We must cherish it! If creatures far beyond this living world are going through these lengths over my life, then certainly it's worth living! Killing myself is not the answer! Plus... I'm still rich! I can just buy all the things! I NO LONGER CRAVE DEATH!
Y/N:...Why are you telling me all this?
Lyle: Because you need words of encouragement! I maybe an evil old man, but I'm not Ableism! As a matter of fact, I'm writing you into my will. Your the only one here who makes any sense.
Lyle quickly writes a will.
The audience claps happily for Lyle. Millie and Moxxie, spinning while firing their guns and being chased by Keenie, accidentally shoot a woman in the audience in the eye, killing her instantly.
Loona was beating Collin.
Blitzo runs along the metal scaffolding with his flintlock pistol. He jumps onto a bit of scaffolding holding some spotlights attached to the ceiling with a rope. He and Cletus point their weapons at each other. Blitzo attempts to fire but finds his gun empty, looking at it in shock. With a wide-eyed glance at Cletus, Blitzo throws the flintlock into Cletus' face.
Cletus: Oof! You fucker!
Momentarily blinded, Cletus recklessly fires an arrow, severing the rope holding up the scaffolding Blitzo is standing on and that Moxxie and Millie are swinging from. The three Imps all fall with the metal scaffolding as is smashes onto the floor of the stage, narrowly missing the pianist and cartoonishly bending a board so it holds up the piano at an angle.
The pianist is startled and stops playing, then straightens his bow tie, drops his stool down onto the stage, and uses it to drop down from the bent floorboard. The board then sends the piano flying through the air, breaking in the process. Blitzo, Moxxie, Millie, Cletus, Collin, and Keenie follow the piano with their eyes as it falls. Lyle turns to see the piano flying straight towards him, and Y/N. He pushes Y/N out of the way and gets crushed.
Moxxie grins as he sits tied up to Millie. Blitzo and the couple grin smugly.
Moxxie: Well, well. Would'ya looook at that? You... did our job... for us. Heh!
Loona smirks and gives the cherubs two middle fingers. Before picking up her boyfriend.
Cuts to the cherubs staring at Lyle's unfortunate death in utter shock. Collin gasps in horror.
Collin: Ohhhh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my Gooood!
Keenie grabs Collin by the shirt and slaps him across the face a few times.
Keenie: Get a hold of yourself, Collin! And do NOT use the Lord's name in VAIN!
Cletus: THIS... ISN'T OVER!
Blitzo, Moxxie, and Millie smirk as Keenie creates a portal to Heaven and the cherubs fly through, only to be mysteriously repelled back.
Cletus: WHAT THE?!
A group of cherubs descends, composed of two bees, two sheep and Deerie, the leader. The deer conjures up reading glasses and a clipboard.
Deerie: Mmm, yeah, no, sorry, Cletus, but I'm afraid your actions resulted in the death of a human. I'm afraid you can't re-enter Heaven. Yeaaaah, noooo...
Cletus, Collin, & Keenie: WHAT?!?!
Deerie: Yeaaaah, mmmmm, sorry! Yeaaaah, no...
Collin: Is there... anything we can do?!
Deerie files her hoof.
Deerie: Yeaaaah, nooo! Noooo, no, no.
Deerie says "no" while pointing her hooves at Collin, Cletus and Keenie.
Keenie: Bu- But, we didn't mean to! We'd never! It was all--
Keenie points to the spot where I.M.P. was, only to find them gone. All three cherubs stare wide-eyed, Keenie's pointing hand trembling, whist the sound of a horrified woman screaming plays in the background.
Deerie: Anyway, sorry, guys. But those are the rules! Yeaaaaah. Byyyye!
Deerie does a happy wave before she and the group vanish through the portal.
Cletus: Wait! But--
Cletus flies toward the portal but it closes. Cletus breaks down into tears and cries.
/////
Blitzo claps his hands together, transitioning back to the I.M.P. office.
Blitzo: Welp, the old man wanted to live again and we didn't kill him, so we failed. Thanks to those fuckin' cherubs, he's probably up in Heaven now, so... It's a shame. All our client wanted was eternal revenge on his business partner. And now the two are forever separated, and now we gotta face the fire of fuckin' up.
Moxxie: Sir... when are you going to tell the client?
Blitzo: Oh, I already sent him a text, and... we're in good hands, 'cause texts don't make people angry.
Millie: Also, where are Loona and Y/N?
Blitzo: Oh, since Y/N got the only man's money, he's trying to figure out what to do with it and get that all sorted out. Loona's with him.
On Blitzo's phone it shows that Loopty Goopty is called "Lupis" in his contacts. The text from Loopty reads "U fail, U die.", followed with Blitzo replying "sorry" surrounded by emojis, with "saxophone emoji" typed a line below. Moxxie looks worriedly to the wall behind him. He quickly scurries out of the way as a metal escalator proceeds to crash into the office.
Loopty: BLIIIIIITZO!
Blitzo: Loofaaaaa! We can explain everything. I was--...
Another metal escalator crashes through the wall and squashes Moxxie as Lyle, now a mechanical demon with piano keys for teeth and a rolling ball in place of legs, arrives with a grin. Moxxie twitches stiffly in pain.
Blitzo & Millie: Lyle Lipton?!
Millie: I don't understand. We thought you went to Heaven.
Lyle: Heaven?! You don't make millions in technological advances in robotics by NOT experimenting on the poor!
Loopty: Oh, you no-good, HEARTLESS son of a BITCH! Thank you for reuniting me with my best friend!
Lyle: The only question now is what do two old genius robotic inventors do now that we're in Hell?
Wally Wackford crashes through the ceiling.
Wally: Did someone say, I say, inventors?! Name's Wally Wackford, and I am lookin' for creative new people to exploit! I mean, employyyyy~
Blitzo: Everyone, STOP FUCKIN' UP MY WALLS! Moxxie's gonna have to fix all this shit!
Moxxie is shown trapped, frothing at the mouth and groaning in agony.
Blitzo: Oh, chill out, Moxxie. If you kiss my ass any harder, you'll go right inside me. Satan's balls! First we deal with Heaven's table-scraps, now this?
Wally: I guess... you can say, you say, you have a... holey operation here, Blitzo!
Wally slaps his knee and laughs. Loopty scratches his neck awkwardly.
Lyle: Oh! Also, if Y/N is ever interested in other jobs, give him our business card! He's the only one in your group who makes any sense!
Blitzo: Get out.
Wally continues laughing, doubling over onto the floor. Lyle and Loopty glance at each other awkwardly.
Wally: Oh! I say, oh!
Blitzo: No, I'm serious. Get the FUCK OUT!
Loopty, Lyle, Millie, and Wally all look at Blitzo, shocked and surprised by his sudden rage.