Juliet
God, would he just stop calling. Three months of non-stop calls, texts, DMs, emails. The only thing left for him was to go full olden style and put pen to paper, writing a letter. Mateo had not respected my wish for him to simply leave me the hell alone. How hard was 'Don't ever, ever speak to me again' to understand? It escalated the most when he found out – most likely from his mom – that I declined my acceptance to Colorado school of mines and instead accepted Colorado state University offer to attend. Truthfully, I had been too late with enrolling after I got the acceptance but thanks to my parents pulling some strings, which I never let them do, the offered still stood. Their name carried some weight.
Mateo even came by the house a few times, first time a month ago. My mom, who I love so dearly, but not that dearly the moment she let him inside as if I hadn't told her I didn't want anything to do with him. Thankfully my sister Fleur helped me sneak out the backdoor, all while telling them I was in my room upstairs.
I didn't have the guts to tell my parents of what Mateo had done, what he had said. I still try to forget it, but it won't stop coming back to me. I hear the laughter in my sleep, every time I look in the mirror, every time a step or chair slightly squeaks or anytime a picture of him pops up. It's everywhere, and I can't get past it. I've really tried, even so desperate to turn to self-help books. Not that they helped.
The only thing that helped remotely was Fleur. She's truly been my rock this summer, and her friends, Jamie, and Sabrina. She's had the same girlfriends for some years now, not as long as me and Mateo, not that it seemed to have meant anything. I must admit I was a bit surprised when they just took me in, without question.
Fleur and her friends all met in the last year of high school, at a study gathering for people planning on applying to Colorado state University. Luckily, well thanks to hard work, they all got in together and are now in their second year. They really took me under their wings this summer, taking me anywhere and everywhere with them. Well anywhere I would agree, mostly cafes, restaurants, the beach, and the occasional sleepover. They've tried their best to drag me along to a party or small hangout, but I wasn't really interested. Considering what happened last time, I avoided them like the plague.
But anyways, because I haven't told my parents, they think this is just a small spat between me and Mateo that will be resolved soon. I don't exactly know how they would react to be honest as their relationship to Mateo's family isn't connected to me directly. It would be different if our families weren't so intertwined in each other's lives. I wouldn't even have to tell them we stopped being friends, I could have just quietly moved on.
Funny enough, the second person that have been blowing up my phone is Mateo's mother, who is interestingly the one that seems to be the most upset with him. Neither him nor I have told her of what happened, from what I can tell. But it's as if she doesn't even need the explanation, just by reading my behavior she could psychically feel my hurt. She's sent me multiple text messages over the summer of how much she misses me and honestly, I miss her too. Laila is like a second mom to me. So, since I've obviously stopped hanging around her house, which I did with or without Mateo, we mostly text now. She sends me a picture of every loaf of bread she bakes, ever bird she spots in the garden and everything that reminds her of me. I send her pictures of the cover of every book I'm currently reading, every cat I find as I stroll the neighborhood and every funny thing my mom does. Their like soul bonded sisters and always have been. Mateo's dad had been more distant, although he's been sweet and sent me some book quotes at random. We don't read exactly the same books, but I enjoy his efforts to keep connected.
I turned down another call from Mateo and was thankful when my screen remained black. Today was my first week at university and as I'm standing outside the – what seemed like mountain high – white brick building, I've never felt smaller.
"It's really not as intimidating as it seems," Jamie attempted to reassure me, pulling her light brown hair in a ponytail. It was abnormally scorching today. She had texted me yesterday that she could meet me before my first class started, as Fleur and the others had earlier classes and hers was a little later than mine. I didn't know how much I needed her there until I spotted her tall frame this morning, dressed in a beige spaghetti strap top and light blue jeans.
"I know, I'm being silly. It's all just so... new," I had thought I would start this new chapter of my life with Mateo by my side. Nothing towards the girls, it's just the bond I had with Mateo was different.
"I get it. When I had to transfer my last high school year it felt awful. High school is awful as it is, but being new on top of that and in the second to last semester when everyone's friend group was already solidified, it felt impossible to fit in," she stopped speaking, letting the situation turn even more glum.
"Please tell that isn't all you're going to say," I half joked, half pleaded. She laughed and thankfully, carried on.
"But then I met these amazing girls, and I wasn't so alone anymore. I was lucky but also diligent, I reached out to start a group for people wanting to attend the university and met all these fantastic people. So, be as diligent as you can, perhaps you catch a little luck," her encouraging words gave me exactly the courage I needed today. Even though I had the girls during breaks and lunch, in classes I was all alone.
"Thank you, Jamie."
"No problem, I'm just seeing this as practice for my rhetoric class," I smiled at her comment and followed her as she made her way inside.
***
After all my classes, which were mostly introductions and a layout of future work schedule, I had already felt such a contrast from high school. Fewer courses and that much more independent work, all which I enjoyed. Also, the size of the classes was enormous, which wasn't that shocking as my major was literature, a subject that carried very popular courses. I had also decided to minor in philosophy as it's always been an interest I've wanted to explore further. However, the first class isn't for another week, so for now all we've been assigned is some course literature to read until then. Mostly just of its history and some philosophical pillars like Aristoteles, Plato, and Socrates.
But now it was time for lunch, another defining character of a school environment. In high school it was divided and messy, unsurprisingly immature. Fleur texted me that her and the others were already seated in the dining area outside and were waiting on me. I made my way towards what I believed was the dining halls direction, obviously not really knowing my way around the grounds just yet. But thanks to the helpful signs spread out on the campus, I found my way to it. Not feeling quite ravenous, I grabbed a smaller tray the kitchen had labeled "Teatime". I had heard the school had decent food and this seemed to fit the description. A tray of two sandwiched split in half, one cucumber and one ham and cheese, some apple slices, and a sweet sesame cracker. I grabbed a sweet tea and swiped my meal card at the register before heading towards the seating area.
It was hard not to notice them, even from far away. With their loud laughter and bubbling conversation, I'm surprised I even needed the signs for direction here.
"Hey Juliet, over here!" Sabrina shouted as she waived a hand in the air for me. The others turned their attention my direction as I neared their table, sitting myself amongst them.
"So, how was your first day? Or half day if you have more classes later," Fleur asked while pulling the same piece of chicken back and forth on her plate.
"No that was all for today and for the next few days actually, it's strange how far apart the classes are..." I started to unwrap the plastic on my sandwiches. "But yeah, it went alright I guess, I didn't really talk to anyone, but my professors seemed interesting," Especially miss Biko in my introduction to literature course. I read her novel "Among the leaves" last year and immediately fell in love with her writing, she's the main part that I decided on Colorado state in the end.
"Yeah, the actual talking and meeting new people usually happen a little further along." Fleurs voice conveyed a feeling of "don't worry", knowing how I overanalyze.
"You won't believe how little some spend on campus. Once I figured out my socioeconomics professors basically copied everything from the course literature, I think I attended one class that whole semester," Sabrina chimed in to the conversation, wielding her fork as she spoke. She's always very expressive when she speaks, if it's not her hands moving it's usually her sleek black long hair trying to keep up with her movements.
"But there's so much free time, what do you do except read the course material?" I furrowed my brows at my own question, what did all these people do?
"Obviously some courses are harder than others, you'll find your own rhythm for studying throughout your time here. But most people join a sorority, frat, club or get a job," I pondered on Jamie's words. I already had I job I very much enjoyed, and I didn't really feel like a sorority person.
"Don't worry dear sister, we'll keep you busy," Fleur commented with a sly smile, visibly sneaking around her intention.
"Fleur, I swear to god..." She rolled her pale blue eyes at my dramatics.
"Calm yourself, nothing crazy of course. Just normal things anyone our age should experience. It's time to break out of this shell you've developed ever since Turd Mateo did what he did," Her voice was thankfully not as harsh as the words she just laid on me. On the other hand, it's hard to do anything but smile as she calls Mateo what he has been called exclusively this whole summer, Turd Mateo.
"That nickname..." I laughed, not being able to finish my sentence.
"It's incredibly fitting, isn't it?" Fleur inquired to the two other ladies next to her. Sabrina furrowed her brows, slightly hiding her dark brown eyes under her long lashes.
"Indeed, what do you think Jamie?"
"Honestly, drop the 'Mateo' and just say turd, right to the point that way," We all let out a rumbling laughter at Jamie's comment.
"So, what are these things I must experience?" This is probably the first time I've opened myself up for whatever she suggested, and she wouldn't waste the opportunity.
"This Friday, we are all going to 'The Lodge' first party of the semester. That's non-negotiable Juliet." Fleur's stern eyes met my uneasy ones, but I retreated fast. Logically, any party experience would trump the last one. What's the worst that can happen?