Hello everyone, I am new to the wattpad community. This is the first chapter of the manscript I am currently working titled "Never Say What You Won't Do" Please feel free to critique. I plan on self-pubIishing some time this fall! I look forward to your comments and suggestions. It's a bit rough so bear with with me. Thanks!
Revised
I seems I like revising, I guess because it's so raw...thanks for reading in advance and please leave your comments, and or suggestions! Become a fan etc.
Thanks!
D.A. Jackson
Chapter One
I’m feeling so dissatisfied with the way I look right now.
“Should have worn the Prada, not the Louboutin. These five-inch heels are gonna kill me by the end of the day,” I muttered kicking up my left foot.
Worrying about falling down in front of thousands of people only added to my already heightened level of anxiety.
“I’m gonna get Stacy when this is over,” I thought spinning around in the full-length mirror. Three hundred dollars for a dress that no one would see, jeans and t-shirt would have been good enough for today.
Must have been crazy to think I needed shoes and a dress totaling more than a grand to wear on this occasion. Maybe I will make her reimburse me for my eight hundred dollar shoes and this three hundred dollar dress. Today is about taking care of my business, and not indulging in facades. Get in, get it and get out! And I wanted to do more of “getting out” than anything.
I had to drag myself out of bed earlier that morning, realizing yet another obstacle of life had been hurdled. What was there to do next? What other challenges awaited me? There was nothing that I didn’t have or couldn’t have at this very moment. So, again I’m questioning why I’m present today.
“You got that damn look on your face, what it is now?” said my sister Stacy.
I turned around to see her chewing gum as usual. Looking like a cow crazing out in some green pasture.
“What you are doing back here, you are suppose to be sitting out there with Miguel. And how did you get past security. This area is restricted.”
Stacy laughed, “Girl, please ain’t nothin’ going on back here that is top secret.”
She looked around the room at the other women with her top lip turned up.
“Do you smell that? It smells like vagina and armpits back here. I am about to leave just came to say congratulations you deserve this so much. Our moms would be so proud of you,” she gave me a hug.
The other women turned and looked at Stacy in disgust.
“Sssh will you keep your voice down, you’re embarrassing me”
Now my stomach was starting to get upset. I clutched it in agony and buckled over a bit.
When Stacy mentioned our mothers, something would come over me. Even though I loved my mom and aunt more than anything, thinking of them was just too painful.
Leaning against the cold tile on the wall, I closed my eyes and tried to recompose myself. My stomach started to cramp and clutched it as hard as I could.
“You okay”
“Yea I think it was just something that I ate this morning”
“You want something to drink? Water or a lime soda?”
“No I will be fine just need to use the bathroom.”
I needed a drink all right, one that was 40 proof. I unzipped my graduation gown, took off my cap and gave them both to Stacy. She slid my purse from her shoulder and handed it to me as if to say, “I’m tired of holding this big thing.”
Grabbing my purse, looking back at my rambling sister, she was still talking and looking at herself in the mirror
Stacy never missed a beat she kept talking and smacking on that pink chewing gum. Nothing made her feel more important than talking outloud, since it was a special occasion this soliloquy was gonna take a minute.
Inside my Gucci handbag was a brand new pint of Southern Comfort.
Twisting off the top it hit me, relief and relaxation was just moments away.
Turning up the glass bottle one last time and looking through the crack in the door, Stacy was in the mirror picking at her eyelashes, still smacking, and still talking out loud.
“Since she’s still talking, one more sip”, I thought.
Before the stall door was opened, three Altoids were dropped into my mouth and off to the mirror I went where Stacy stood.
She didn’t even realize that I was gone until I stood next to her.
“What were you in there doing for so long? Your stomach tore up, are you nervous?”
“No”
“Girl relax, you look good. Shoot, who else in here has on heels that look that bad! And look at the bottom; I put those sticky things on the bottom to keep you from slipping”
“I came to graduate, not put on a fashion show. The dress, heels, long ass hair all of this was your idea. By the way since you wanted me to look so cute for my college graduation you owe me eleven hundred dollars, and that’s without tax.”
“What in the world are you talking about?” Stacy said as she looked down at her phone and started texting.
“What am I talking about? Are you serious? This dress was three hundred and the shoes were eight. So, you owe me.”
“Girl, get out of here you know you like that outfit. You are probably the best dressed woman in here today.”
“Yea, but who in the hell is going to see this dress while it’s covered up with my gown.”
I rolled my eyes at Stacy and snatched my cap and gown from her.
“Why did Lisa make it so long?” I said staring into the full length mirror adjusting my cap.
“Make what long”, Stacy’s attention was still on her cell phone.
“Will you for once put down that phone and pay attention, damn. Why did Lisa make my hair so long?”
“Because I told her too”
“How long is this Stacy?”
“Sixteen inches of the best Brazilian Body Wave money can buy you looking like a million dollar bill girl,” said Stacy replacing her gum with a fresh piece.
“You know that smacking irritates me, lose the gum. And stop acting ghetto”
“Fine, if you think chewing bubble gum is ghetto you have a lot more living to do honey,” she frowned and threw both the old and new wads in the trash.
Stacy was right, it was beginning to stink in here, yep it most definitely was time to go.
“Would it be perverse to leave before it was completely over?”
“If you mean would it be jacked up to leave before the entire ceremony was over, yes ma’am. A day like this only comes once in a life time, and you call me ghetto for chewing gum? You just gone walk off stage and keep it movin’ huh? Now you know that is not right?”
“I don’t want to be here for hours, I can be at the shop going over new orders, or updating our site.”
“Why is it always about the business with you? Can you for once stop thinking about money. See, just as I was saying the other day you need a man, and fast. When was the last time you had some anyway? 1990 –what?”
Stacy must have found her statement extremely funny, she laughed so hard that her eyes began to tear.
“Just because you can’t life with a man doesn’t mean that I can’t. What is a man gonna do for me at this point in my life? I’m educated, I have my own business and my own money.”
“It’s not always about having money Jo, some times just having someone around you that really cares and loves you is enough.”
“Yea you would say that since your man doesn’t have a job.” I mumbled.
“What did you say?”
“Nothing”
”Anyway, the business can wait, besides Miguel already put the new products on the site last night from his laptop. We don’t have any orders due out for two days. So relax, and stop making excuses.”
“Whew, where is the air conditioner in here”, Stacy said fanning with her hand.
“You can leave, you don’t have to stay.”
“No you don’t have to walk around with your lips all dry like that. Have you been kissing bricks?” Stacy pulled out her M.A.C. lip-gloss and gave me a few coats.
Grabbing her hand she looked at me baffled, snatched her hand back and put the lipgloss back in her purse.
“Damn you a grouch today”
“I love you too”
“Now go to your seat!”
“I’m doing this for you momma,” I thought. If it were up to me I would be sitting at bar with a nice cocktail relaxing.
“Oh one more thing, Miguel and I have a big surprise for you later tonight”
“Told you that I don’t want to go to On the Border! Why do we always have to eat Mexican food when he is around? Is it because he’s a Mexican?”
“How long have you known my baby? It’s been over ten years and you keep calling him Mexican when you know he is Puerto Rican.”
“Don’t be trying to take up for him, everyone knows that’s your boo”, I laughed.
“Yea like he was taken up for you that morning Ronald was about to beat that ass”
“Whatever Stacy, go fly a kite, better yet find your seat and sit it in; Miguel is probably wondering where you are right now.”
“That’s why you have to wear that hot ass Polly and Ester”
She swung her purse over her left shoulder, brushed my hair one more time, stepped back and studied me as if I were here greatest masterpiece; shrugged her shoulders and left .
More than a handful, but that was my sister, and my best friend. Today was the beginning of the end of so many things between us, but the start of so much personal reconstruction. We both had a lot of work to do, but we truly had come a very long way.
I’ve always believed that me and Stacy were predestined to be in each other’s life. Since the first day that I could remember us playing together, we were intertwined both mentally and spiritually.
The tragedies that plagued our childhood only drew us closer together, yet they gave us different perspectives on life.
*
Our moms were sisters. Their bond was very strong. They did everything together from dressing alike, to sharing the same love for dancing.
At least once a month the local V.F.W. post would hold a dance. Every month my mom and Aunt Sharon would attend to compete in the dance competition, much to my Granny’s discontent.
One cool winter’s night in February the two of them attended the Valentine’s Day Dance at the V.F.W. Aunt Sharon was lonely and looking for companionship, hoping that she would find her soul mate at the dance that night.
The roads were slick with rain and it was cool that evening. My mom was dating Johannes (my father) at the time and she was determined to help her sister find happiness.
“Valentine’s Day is a day for lovers you are bound to find someone tonight Sharon” my mom told her.
I can imagine them putting on their sexiest, shortest mini dresses and heels. Standing in the mirror side by side and plastering their lips with something mahogany-colored.
Once they got their faces all made up; the only thing left to do was to cover their clothes with mists of Ciara perfume and then petitioned my grandpa for the keys to his truck.
My grandpa had an old grey 1972 Cheverolet Cheyenne pick up truck. He gave them the keys without hesitation they were on their way.
“Otis, you are sending sheep out to the wolves”, Granny said with her arms folded.
“Lucille, calm down the girls are just going to dance. You can’t keep them cooped up in this house forever, they will go crazy. Do you want them to run off and never come back?”
“You know that’s not what I want.”
“Well relax, put the TV on Sanford and Son, and drink your coffee. Come on now sit down”
My Granny has always been a very cautious woman, and that night she knew that something was not quite right.
The dance was crowded. There were so many good-looking men and women. My mom and aunt found a table close to the front door. They always sat near the front in case something jumped off, they would be near an exit.
Two men in military uniforms approached them and asked to sit down. Before long the four of them were sipping on a bottle of whiskey, and feeling good.
Aunt Sharon got up to dance, while my mom stayed at the table with the other gentleman.
“Don’t go to far Ronnie, we are going to be leaving in a little while don’t want to be gettin’ in to late. You know how momma can be sometimes.”
As she walked away Aunt Sharon threw up her hand to signify she had heard my mom.
After about thirty minutes, and bit of sobering up, my mom began to look around for Aunt Sharon. She was nowhere in sight.
She rushed over to the guy at the door thinking maybe she had stepped outside for some fresh air.
“She was messed up man, she got in a red mustang with one of those Air Force dudes. She didn’t come with him?” said the bouncer.
“No she came with me,” my mom yelled.
How in the world was she going to explain losing her sister to my Granny and Grandpa?
After about three hours of searching the VFW and riding around, she rushed home in Grandpa’s beat up truck to tell them the news.
“Momma, Daddy get up!” My mom shook their bed like a California earthquake. I was barely two years old lying between them in my footed pajamas. Rubbing their eyes and trying to focus, they sat up in bed, gazing half sleep, half awake at my mom.
She lost one of her hoop earrings in the frantic search around the club. Her feet were muddy and her shoes were dangling in her hand, both had broken heels.
“Chile what is going on with you?” said my Granny. “I don’t know where Sharon is momma! I think some one kidnapped her from the club!” “What did you just say?” said my Grandpa as he reached for a pack of Levi Garrett dipping tobacco from his nightstand. One big pinch and he had a huge chunk lodged between his bottom lip and bottom row of his teeth.
My mom was breathing uncontrollably trying to go over the last 4 hours of her life.
While she stood at the foot of their bed in tears and pacing the floor, my Granny got on the phone and called the police. To her surprise, they told her she would have to wait at least 24 hours because my aunt was not a minor.
*
Hours turned to days and days into weeks. With little or no help from the police department, her filed deemed a cold case and left on the shelf at the police station to rot.
Until finally one stormy night in November, the week before Thanksgiving my grandparents got a collect call. It was Aunt Sharon, stranded along interstate 20 and pleading for them to hurry and pick her up.
“Sweet heart is this really you?”
“Yes momma,” she said in a timid voice.
My Granny could hear the sounds of engines running and men talking in the background.
“Baby on earth are you right?”
She reached over to my Grandpa, put her hand on his hip and began to rock him back and forth.
“Otis, its Sharon”
He grunted a bit, rubbed his eyes and looked over at my Granny. In the dark, her silhouette made her look like she was wearing a Chef’s hat. The pink foam rollers in her hair and satin bonnet made sure of this.
*
There was no time to try to contact the other siblings. Without hesitancy the three of them hopped in my Grandpa’s gray Chevy Cheyenne and went barreling down interstate 20 headed east. Left with a next door neighbor, at the time I was too young to even realize what was about to transpire.
The trip to get Aunt Sharon was like a rescue mission. No one had any idea what she had been through during the course of those three weeks. Had she been badly beaten, forced to take drugs, or raped; questions shuffled around in everyone’s head that night. The relief of hearing her voice and the fear of her condition filled the cabin of the truck as they broke speed limits to get to her.
Once Aunt Sharon was safe inside the pick up, she began to tell them of her abduction, but did not give too much detail. She turned down several rides from male truck drivers until finally a female driver came along and took her to the nearest gas station.
My Aunt begged everyone in the truck that night not to go to the police with any of what she stated. The intricate details of her 9 month ordeal still remains a mystery to this day.
The more I think about it, growing up I never saw my aunt with man, not even as a friend. No one was ever charged with her abduction, and the entire circumstance dissipated like a puff a smoke into time.
Over the years, I got bits and pieces of the puzzle and started to put things together for myself.
Sweeping issues this enormous under the rug is not healthy. In my opinion it causes mental and health dilemmas.
As time went on Aunt Stacy found out she was pregnant. She wanted to abort her pregnancy, but my Granny literally got on her knees and begged her to keep the baby.
“Don’t kill that chile, give it to me if you don’t want it. That’s a gift from GOD I don’t care how it came to be. Everything happens for a reason baby, you must know this. Don’t do it”.
With tears in her eyes one day she begged Aunt Sharon not terminate her pregnancy, and she didn’t.
Having to look at Stacy everyday, must have been difficult. To know that the only thing in this world you love the most also causes you the most pain has to be horrifying.
Aunt Sharon was never the same after she came back that cold night in November. The rest of her life she walked around in a fog.
No one ever addressed the issue, but I personally think she was doing drugs. Aunt Sharon just knew how to hide it well.
Stacy kept her sane and the drugs kept her calm. That’s just my take on things.