—
"Taehyung, did you see Jungkook this morning?"
It was just past ten in the morning, and Jimin found himself rather confused when he walked into an empty living room. He knew he hadn't dreamed inviting the taller male over for the night, but Jungkook has completely disappeared. The clothes he has come over in and the pyjamas he had borrowed. Everything, including him, was just gone.
Taehyung had woken up before him, still looking tired as he leaned up against their kitchen counter and sipped an iced coffee. The silver haired male raised an eyebrow.
"Jungkook was here?" He asked, swishing the ice cubes around in his drink. "When? Last night?"
Jimin nodded, a frowned etched into his features. If Taehyung hadn't seen him, then he must've left in the middle of the night. Why? Had he sobered up and gotten confused as to why he was there? Had he felt guilty about staying over?
He had just vanished. No goodbye, no note, just gone.
"I found him absolutely shitfaced in a field on the way home from work last night." Jimin explained. "He was so out of it he couldn't even tell me where he lived. I couldn't just leave him there." Taehyung hummed, his expression unreadable as he cast his gaze towards the ground.
"Your heart's too big for your own good sometimes, Jimin." He sighed, swirling his drink around in his hand. He looked up and met Jimin's gaze, his eyes coated in a mystery emotion that had goosebumps raising against his boyfriend's skin. "Maybe he felt embarrassed and he didn't want to face you."
Jimin frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. He scanned Taehyung's expression, leaving them suspended in silence for a few agonizing moments. He watched as Taehyung shifted his body uncomfortably under his stare. "What?"
"Are you hiding something from me?" Jimin asked. Taehyung had just seemed so strange all morning. More quiet than usual, sneaking glances but avoiding his gaze, fidgety. He wasn't sure what it could be, but it definitely seemed like there was something he was holding back from saying.
Taehyung's eyes widened and his eyebrows furrowed, bewilderment taking over his features. He set his glass down on the kitchen counter before crossing his arms over his chest.
"Of course not." He answered, and his voice really did sound sincere. "Why would you think that? I've never lied to you, Jimin."
Jimin let out a deep exhale and looked to the side. It sounded like the truth, and everything they had gone through in the past backed up his words, but something just felt off. He wasn't sure what it was, or why he was feeling it, but there was something that made Taehyung's words not seem as impactful.
He wanted to believe him. He should believe him, but his gut was twisting in a way that was telling him he shouldn't.
"Are you sure?" He asked, before looking back to his boyfriend. He watched as Taehyung's eyes scanned his expression, confusion and a hint of worry on his features. Worry. Why would he be worried? "You've just been acting weird today. If there's anything you're not telling me, tell me now. If I find out by myself it won't end well."
"Jimin I swear on my life." Taehyung sounded exasperated. "I'm not hiding anything. I didn't even know Jungkook was here, and I just didn't sleep well last night." He held eye contact, his brown irises seeming sincere. "That's it. I'm not lying to you."
Jimin didn't respond for a moment, letting out a deep sigh as he tried his best to convince himself that Taehyung had to be telling the truth.
Why wouldn't he? He really shouldn't have anything to hide.
"Okay." He finally answered, trying to push down any of the doubt that still lingered. "I'm sorry." Apologizing felt strange, because he still felt like his uncertainty had justification. There was no solid proof though, and Jimin couldn't think of a reason Taehyung could have for lying about seeing Jungkook.
He was just going to have to go against his gut feeling with this one.
"It's fine, I get that it's strange that he just disappeared in the middle of the night." Taehyung sighed and pushed a few pieces of hair out of his eyes. "My guess is that he woke up and got embarrassed when he realized what had happened. You did say you found him shitfaced after all."
Jimin tried to suppress the frown that still tugged at his lips, but it was difficult to.
"Yeah, you're probably right."
-
The wind was cold against Jungkook's face.
The pond that he sat at was his happy place. Of all of the places in the forest he called home, this was his favourite. The sun made the surface of the water sparkle, various flora dotted around the edge of the pond, and frogs and fish called the body of water their home. It brought Jungkook peace to just sit and watch nature go about it's way of life.
Not today though.
He sniffled, tears rolling down his face as he watched the wind create ripples in the pond water.
Everything in his life just went wrong.
He had lost his parents at a young age. His mother wasn't the woman he had thought she was. His only remaining relative hated his guts for something he couldn't control or reconcile. His friends, the few that he had, could barely see him due to him choosing to isolate himself in a city that wished he was dead.
He was constantly searching for happiness, but the universe seemed to be trying to tell him that it was futile. Everything would turn out sour, in the end.
Barefoot, he dug his toes into the grass beneath him. It was yellowing and losing its vitality due to the negativity Jungkook was leeching into the earth, but he couldn't keep his mind clear. Taehyung's words just kept ringing in his head, making Jungkook unable to go seconds without tears pooling in his eyes once more.
"I honestly hoped you were dead."
"Me too." Jungkook mumbled to himself before exhaling shakily. If his parents hadn't had him, he wouldn't have to deal with any of this. If he had just died that day with them, he would've been saved from a life of sadness. Taehyung would've got his wish and never had to meet him, and Jungkook could've left this earth while he still knew what happiness was. "Why am I alive? What's the point?"
He asked the wind, but it didn't answer. It just whistled in his ears and did nothing to dissuade his thoughts. He sighed softly and looked back out to the pond. It looked so calm and inviting, beckoning him to come over and take a closer look.
Jungkook brought his hands up, slowly unbuttoning his white collared shirt before shrugging it off of his shoulders. It was summer, so the sun was warm against his skin, but with the thoughts in his mind he probably would've even done this in the winter. He folded up the material and set it on the ground beside him, then taking off his hat and setting it on top.
Namjoon's spell had worked, but it had a pretty agonizing side effect. It had really made Jungkook realize how horrible he felt all the time when not under the influence of magic. He couldn't replicate even a fraction of what he felt then on his own.
He could only know happiness when it was artificial.
He stood up, walking a few feet in front of him until his toes dipped into the pond water. He wasn't even sure what his goal truly was, he was just blindly following his mind's impulses as he waded into the water. It was frigid, raising goosebumps on his skin as his pants became soaked through, but he continued on. Knee deep soon became waist deep, and waist deep soon became up to his shoulders.
It was so cold his skin felt like it was going numb, but it almost felt nice in a way. The tingles and the shock flooded his mind, giving him a small break from his self-deprecating thoughts from before.
Goosebumps raised on his skin as he kicked his feet up, floating on his back in the middle of the pond. The water was almost unbearably cold but he didn't want to get out. He just wanted to stay there as long as he could, the chilly water freezing over his thoughts for the moment.
All this time, he just wished for happiness. He didn't think it was such a difficult thing to obtain, but it obviously was.
Maybe he just didn't deserve it.
His existence was the result of infidelity, after all. Maybe he was cursed from birth to have to repent for the pain he unknowingly caused.
He let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes. He had been trying to will away the pain in his chest since he and Taehyung spoke, but it just wouldn't go away. Jungkook had felt lonely and dissatisfied before, but this was another level.
He almost wanted the just let himself sink to the bottom of the pond. Never to be seen again. No more pain and no more trouble to cause.
Jungkook tried to push back the thought. He shouldn't, he knew that, but it was difficult to come up with reasons as to why. Why shouldn't he? Would the world really be so harmed if he just disappeared?
The forest wouldn't thrive, maybe a few trees would die and flowers would wilt, but that was honestly about it. Namjoon and Hoseok would be sad, but he was sure it would pass.
His skin was going numb from the cold water, his lips turning blue and his extremities tingling. He knew he should get out, but he just didn't care anymore. He didn't want to get out. If he froze to death there, if he drowned, he wouldn't have any regrets.
He was just so tired.
He had fought and persevered for so long but what was the reason? He didn't have one. It all just felt so pointless.
One less witch in the world. He was sure the humans would be happy, if they knew.
Jungkook let out a deep, shaky sigh. More tears pricking at his eyes as his body trembled. This was a pain that wouldn't go away, he was sure of it. It could be disguised, or forgotten for a few moments, but it would always be there. He wasn't sure how long he could deal with that.
He wished he could escape his mind. He wished he could escape his body and start a new life as a human. It seemed so much easier that way.
"Jungkook?"
Jungkook gasped at the sound of a new voice. He accidentally dunked his head under the water as his body startled, before breaking the surface once more and coughing harshly. His heart was thudding against his chest rapidly and his eyes were wild as they look around to see who could've possibly found him in a place like this.
His vision panned the view in front of him and when he saw the culprit, his mouth went dry.
Why, and how was Jimin here?
-
a/n:
helloooo everybody <3333 the weather is FINALLY getting nice here in Canada thank god
- Charlie :)