That fucking psycho just destroyed my phone, and I stood there and let him.
I let him destroy my phone.
I feel an intense wave of anger begin coursing through my body like fire, rage flooding my veins as my legs begin to move before my brain can comprehend what I'm doing.
"You're a fucking psycho" I snap, shoving Rafe's shoulder with my hands roughly.
Sarah and Topper just stand there utterly dumbfounded, most likely not having any clue as to what's going on.
I watch as Rafe's eyes widen as he glares at me, completely taken aback by my outburst.
"What's wron-" Sarah begins, but I interrupt her almost immediately.
"What's wrong?" I chuckle dryly, running my hands through my hair in frustration.
"You're fucking brother is what's wrong" I exclaim bitterly, my voice raising slightly.
I know deep down I shouldn't be talking to her like it's her fault, but if I don't put the blame on someone, I'll put it on myself.
As always.
"Annie" Rafe growls deeply, grabbing my wrist in his hand tightly.
"Don't touch me" I hiss, tugging myself out of his grip.
Rafe's face instantly hardens, his brows furrowing as his eyes flash in a way I can only describe as total infuriation.
Normally this would frighten me, make me beg for forgiveness, but right now, I can't even hear myself think.
It's as if an old part of me has returned.
The girl who could always stand her ground.
The girl who hasn't been completely broken down to the worst version of herself.
"We are over" I tell Rafe, the words blurting out my mouth before I can stop myself.
His face suddenly drops, those deep blue eyes I've grown all too familiar with, staring into mine.
"What?" He asks quietly, his tone laced with disbelief and confusion.
"You heard me" I reply, my jaw tightening as I feel a gut wrenching sensation hit me, my heart pounding out of my chest.
"I-" he begins before I cut him off.
"You're buying me a new phone too" I mutter before storming off, away from him, away from everyone.
I'm doing everything in my power to not burst out in tears as I sit myself down by a tree. The cold grass making me shiver as I stare out at the moon shining over the lake.
I let out a shaky breath while I clench my hands tightly into fists, my nails digging into the skin of my palms uncomfortably.
As my anger dissipates, it's soon replaced by a dulling ache of melancholy and pain.
I'm familiar with the idea of heartbreak, read about it in books, seen it in movies.
But god... I'm only just realising how much more agonising it really is.
"Annie?" I hear a soft voice from behind me, making me quickly wipe away a single tear that had begun to roll down my cheek.
"God Sarah I'm so sorry" I murmur weakly, shame washing over me when I see the small frown on her lips.
She shakes her head in protest as she sits herself down next to me.
"Don't be sorry" she whispers, taking my hand in hers, her fingers intertwining with mine.
"I shouldn't have done that" I whisper back, my voice cracking as tears threaten to fall any moment.
"Don't worry, it's okay. It's going to be okay" she mutters softly, well aware of the state I'm in right now.
A calm silence falls between us, her hand still holding gently onto mine.
"Where's Rafe?" I ask her quietly, the sadness in my voice very clearly evident as I speak.
"He went to his tent" she tells me, moving her head to look at me before continuing.
"Do you want to go speak to him?"
I shake my head slowly, and she doesn't say another word, just giving me a nod and a small smile of reassurance.
"Then I'll stay out here with you as long as you want me too" she whispers.
I give her a weak smile of gratitude, but even the act of smiling right now fills me with a deep sense of sorrow.
After a while I feel Sarah's head fall onto my shoulder as her breathing deepens in a steady rhythm.
"Sarah... go sleep, you're exhausted" I mumble as I lightly shake her body.
"I don't want to leave you out here alone" she replies in a tired voice, only making that awful sense of guilt inside of me grow.
"Come on, I'll go sleep too" I tell her, causing her to slowly lift her head to look at me.
"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" She asks, a worried expression forming on her face.
I force a small smile on my lips, giving her a nod.
"I'll be okay, I promise"
____________
I crawl inside the tent, careful not to nudge Rafe's body incase I wake him up.
I climb under the blankets, wrapping my body up tightly as I curl up on my side.
I squeeze my eyes shut, pleading with my own body to just fall asleep.
To just give me a break from my agonising reality for a few hours.
Thoughts flood my mind as the heaviness in my heart intensifies, as if it's being repeatedly broken up into tiny pieces.
Over and over again, every time as worse as the next.
It's hard not to think about Rafe when all I can feel his presence behind me. The lingering scent of his cologne, the way he breaths when he sleeps.
This is torture, complete and utter agony.
"Annie?" I hear him whisper hoarsely, my chest tightening just from the sound of his voice.
He's been awake this entire time.
"Annie, I know you're awake. Please Talk to me" he continues after a moment.
His voice is... soft, gentle even.
He sounds sad.
He sounds genuinely sad.
God this is killing me in more ways than i could ever imagine.
"Don't do this to me" he whispers again, his voice strained.
Please stop talking, please stop talking.
"I love you" he continues once more, my eyes becoming glossy as I attempt to block him out.
"Rafe stop it" I whisper weakly, my throat tightening as my body threatens to burst out into complete sobs.
He goes silent for a moment, the only sound heard is our own breathing and the slight rustle of leaves outside.
"I'm sorry" he mutters.
Did he just apologise? Well that's certainly a first.
The urge to give in is eating me alive, just to feel him hold me in his arms, to hear those false promises come from his mouth.
The same promises I've been falling for all these months.
I don't say anything, I don't let him get to me this time.