‼️WARNING self harm📍
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Yn's POV....... 💜
Me and namjoon has been dating for 11 months now. We are a sweet couple but this few months hes been distant to me. Hes been hanging out with his girl friend hwasa. Im gonna say to you im getting jealous already.
There is a time that hwasa is the name I've been hearing in our daily talk at dinner. Hwasa this, hwasa that, hwasa like this, hwasa like that. I feel hurt because of that but im not saying anything because i don't want him to think that im too much just because he is close with a woman.
Im at my friends house because my bff just arrived here from canada for school. He is liam my childhood best friend.
We are having a dinner and talking about our lives. "How's life here in korea its been 5 years,how are u and namjoon,still getting sweeter and sweeter huh😏." He said. I smile at him and continue eating. "Why, what happened you seem like its not getting better ahh, something happend.
" namjoon is so distant to me his always with hwasa and im getting jealous but i cant tell him cus i dont wanna sound so childish to him"i told lian and sip my coffee." You should told him that and be honest and maybe his going to understand"he told me with gentle voice cuz he knew that im sensitive when it comes to the love of my life.
Namjoon still didn't know about why me and my ex broke up. I became insecure about how i act or even talk to my boyfriend because of my ex because my ex told me that im too childish because im getting jealous over a little things and thats the start that im always overthink every thing i do.
"Poor u YN but i wish you two could fix your problem"i just shrugged and keep drinking my coffee." Ohh its 9 already im going home now liam"i said and stand up"ok wanna send u off. "" yeass plssss lili😊"i said and hug his arms just like before.
>>>>skip _in front of the house_>>>>>
"Thanks liam." I said and wave at him. He beep at me and drove off.
I get in the house and i heard talking and laughs.
"Oh yn your here evening babe." Namjoon great me from his sit and then keep talking with hwasa and that made me mad and sad but i act like im not.
" its getting late is hwasa is not going yet." I told them while getting water in the fridge." Oh no she's staying, we are going to make a project that we are partnering with."he said and smile at me.
"Oh okie" i smile a little and walk with defeat cuz i know i dont have the courage and my eyes is getting blurry cuz of upcoming tears.
I take a shower and sleep cuz i know namjoon is not going to bed so soon.
_____time____skip______
I feel hurt.
But im scared.
I wanna say to him how i feel.
But i dont want us to fight.
I keep silent.
But the silent keep stabbing me.
Me and namjoon is nothing but a blunt candy.
Not like in the pass that me and him is the sweetest candy around the world.
It so hurt.
My birthday he forgot.
I didn't talk.
My award for being the best fashion designer he said his going but he forgot.
He said sorry and bought me a flower.
I thought his going to be back to by my sweet joonie but im wrong.
I start to give up and over thinks that i dont really deserve to love.
Just like my father said im a useless piece of shit that no ones love.
I started to hurt my self and not eat and i feel great.
I dont know why but every blood dripping out of my body i feel so good.
I keep doing it until the cuts reach in my arms.
The dark eats me already but i keep acting like im fine👥🤣but😢😭.
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Its our anniversary and i get ready and i bought a cake and i finally can buy his dream expensive watch.
I wait......
And wait
And wait........
4 AM............ And wait.
..... Door opening and keys dangling.
Im just sitting and finally my tears fall non stop but no sound is coming out of me.
I saw again namjoon and hwasa laughing with each other and joking around but they stop because they saw me.
No ones POV......
Yn stand and start cleaning the cold food and putting every thing that she decorates .
"Yn..... Babe Im really... Really sorry babe i... I.... I forgot cuz u know im so busy and me and hwa.... " namjoon said and hug yn but before namjoon could finish his talk yn speak.
"Namjoon im tired..... I just wanna sleep........ Oh here your gift....... Its look like ur still busy......... And uh dont worry..... "" yn no its..... "" no namjoon im....... Fine hehe........ I really want to sleep."yn just go and get to the room and get im the bathroom.
. . ..... . .Namjoon's POV......
I dont know but i really fuck up..... Shitttt your so dump namjoon your sa busy always and forgot you have a girlfriend uhhhhhh shit.
" uhh hwasa u should go home hehe sorry. "Namjoon said and lead hwasa at the door.
" nam i think yn really hurt and shes so thin now i think its because of me im sorry you should be sorry to her and please say sorry to her foe me too." Hwasa said and i realized that my attention is always at hwasa and this past few months I've been so distant to her shiitttttty.
I walk up stairs and get in the room. I heard the water is running in the bathroom.
I wait and sit in the bed and think about how to say sorry to yn.
Its been hour's since yn is in the bathroom.
I knok and knok in the bathroom door.
"Yn....... Yn babe..... Are u mad( no namjood shes not hehe joke -ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ-ɴɪᴍ)please open the door plssss baby babe i know I've been working and being so dump and shit boyfriend this past months but pls babe talk to me." I keep knocking and but no one is answering me and i feel so bad and im so nervous and sad.
...............Yn's POV...... .....
I wrote my last word for namjoon.
I heard him calling me and banging the door but my bad thoughts win and i stand up and see my self in the mirror
Your ugly.
Fat.
No ones love u.
Useless.
We hate u.
Your hopeless.
Your shit.
Peace of garbage.
I cant any more and i need to end it..... I don't want to be burden any more..
I walk in the bathtub field with water and sit i get the knife beside the tub and cut both my wrist so deep and slowly with tears with my eyes the darkness eat me already.
Im sorry namjoon...... And i love u so much.
............namjoon POV.............
i calmly get my phone and call yn's brother Jin.
Ring......
Oh namjoon why calling.... something happend--jin
I cant stop my hiccups and tears and tell jin what happened.
Im sorry hyung please come here and make yn come out.--namjoon
We off the call and 5 mins later jin hyung car is in front.
................Jin's POV.............
When namjoon called me i get there as fast as i can and im there already. My house and there house is a little near with each other.
I get inside the house and i saw namjoon sitting in the bed.
"Where yn" i said"she's inside and she dont want to open the door and shes not talking to me.... Hyung I fuck-up. "Namjoon said crying. " dont cry anymore namjoon.... It'll be fine okie. "I said and get in front of the bathroom door.
" yn plsss open the door........ Hyungs here...... Plssssss... Yn.......... Ynnnnn.... "I dont know what to do anymore and i think im going to break the door. " ok yn if ur not going to open the door ill break it........ 1.......2......3 BANG" i kick the door and .........
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To be continued.......... 😂😂💯