"Let me spar with you."
Rhazien sputtered, nearly choking on his morning breakfast, warmed in his mug. He looked rough for wear, the bags under his eyes deep, and I wondered if he slept at all. Other than the hangover-like grogginess, Rhazien was himself, and that revelation made the skitter my lungs were doing cease.
I smacked the bulging file folder onto Rhazien's desk. "As much as I hate to admit it, you're extremely thorough. There's no way I'll get out of this without a struggle." I stilled my face, my nose twitching at the growing ember in his eyes that I now recognized as his Beast. "And as much as I hate to admit it..." This time, the words came out more bitter than I intended, "You clearly don't have all that bulk for no reason. You were supposed to teach me– so teach me."
Rhazien's eyes shifted to look at the folder, his body completely still as he held his mug. "I take it you're caught up, then?" The flicker was quick but didn't go unnoticed by me as he took in my outfit.
I crossed my arms, crinkling the graphic of his tee. "By some twisted fate, yes, I'm caught up."
I spent hours pouring over the documents as I nursed my stomach, and only one name was ever mentioned outside of Luther and Ruthanne: Phil. It must have been code to keep her truth out of anyone's mouth. I hadn't expected any of this to be straightforward in the slightest, but already, it was starting to do my head in. Like Rhazien, I just wanted to hole up and be left alone.
"I met with Phil. She gave me the dagger– if you want me to help you get your brother back, I will need to be ready for anything. I don't–" I stopped myself before I could finish the sentence, 'Trust my Domineuro abilities.' As far as I knew, Rhazien didn't remember anything from the rest of that night, and bringing it up to possibly jog those memories was a horrid idea. The golden pendant was a constant warm buzz in my pocket as I shifted, keeping the Spector at bay. "The chances of me getting a finger from Ruth are next to none. So, I need to learn how to dissociate and stab correctly."
Rhazien's brow twitched, his nose wrinkling slightly, his gaze skipping past me to his brother, who had padded into the cramped office. "No."
I wanted to fucking scream.
"Why not?!"
"I explained to you, very clearly, how I would not be aiding you. If you wanted my help, you should have thought about that before you left." The Seneschal's voice was smooth, low, and distantly cruel, his gaze jumping back to me.
The hands-on the back of the chair before his desk screeched in rage. My teeth squeaked as I chewed on my tongue before a gentle fog calmed my anger and cleared my mind. "Fine. I'll call Estelle then. Surely, the Warden has plenty she can teach me. And I'm sure I'll have plenty of answers to all her questions."
Rhazien leaned back, his fingers tenting over a crossed knee, the border of his lip curling slightly. "Fine then. How're you going to do that?"
My Beast was itching for a fight, but I forced her to remain still. I was planning to beat Rhazien to a pulp, but that was for later. "I'll get creative. Maybe do something public..."
His eyes flashed angrily, "Do not joke about that. Not with the power The Prince holds over you."
"It's my punishment. I'll joke about it however I want–"
"You've never seen it." Rhazien's office had begun to feel looming, the shelves towering over me. "To be put to death without– It is not a fate I would wish on my worst enemy."
I swallowed dust, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment. "Gotcha..." I cleared my throat, looking back to the door, where Luther hovered, the tip of his tail flicking over his paws. "Well, if you want him back," I jerked a thumb at the feline. I have to be prepared. So, you can find me in the gym if you decide to be proactive..." I rolled my eyes, stepping over Luther as I headed for the Dojo.
My hearing picked up The Seneschal's grumble as I was about to shut the door,
"What she's proposing is ridiculous."
There was a pause, Rhazien's tone more breathy,
"Well, because– With you–"
Silence.
There was a creak of his desk, Rhazien's weight shuffling. "If she somehow miraculously succeeds with this slapped-together idea of hers, I will personally be the first in line to kill you."
Rhazien was performing his office closing tasks, my hands slow as I hovered the door to a shut,
"I don't know... I think I still rein as King Supreme on her shit list."
I padded to the center of the room, leaving the brother's privacy as I stretched, my mind escaping me on the back of a black stallion.
Dethum people dealt with the Supernatural, although for whatever reason, it wasn't clear. For all the other vampiric abilities, it was apparent, from Magnetique, the influence over others' emotions—an easy meal. To Reflexionary, the speed of the predators we are; they had their purpose as nighttime boogeymen. So why ghosts?
And, more importantly, why did I seem like the only one?
I rubbed the goosebumps from my arms, Death's face staining my memory like how The Boar had stained my hands and the Spector my eyes.
'Aww... You disappointed my coping mechanism is different than yours?'
Had I even begun to cope?
I hadn't had the time to think about the possibility.
Besides...
How do you forgive your reflection when all you can see is a monster?
I had only been trapped in this body for a little under thirty years. And that, too, had felt too long.
What was a hundred going to feel like? Two?
'You're like a poison...'
Toxic. Venomous.
I looked down at my hands, Polluted.
I had killed one man.
And now I sat in a house built with blood, preparing to do it again.
And all I could feel was anger.
Grief. All you feel is grief.
The lights were too blinding, too exposing as the corners of my vision swirled in pink.
Say her name so you can claim her pain. You grieve your life, girl, but grief can only sustain for so long before it eats the soul. We should know.
Rhazien's Beast seemed so– intertwined with his being... Is that our fate, too?
I don't know... But I don't think so... And we'll never find out until you can compartmentalize like the Ancients do.
I fisted the tears from my eyes, focusing on my breath. Pulling on that horrible ache in my chest, the threads coming back worn and frayed. I don't know where to start.
The voice was rippling in my mind, mixing and convulsing between a harsher and softer tone, as if my Beast was fighting against something else for the driver's seat.
'No one ever does. You just do. The paths you will cross on your journey may line with yours momentarily or for eternity, but they are never your path. Your path was decided for you long ago.'
The edges around my scar burned, and my fingers shot to my chest, the skin ice cold. What path?
Silence.
I called for my Beast, hungry for more, only to be left with a disconnected line.
I turned as Rhazien pushed on the door, Luther trotting on his heels behind him. His expression was stern, "Don't think this is me caving into your demands." The Rauvau's blue pranced between Luther and I. "Someone just made a compelling case on your behalf."
The relief of company nearly staggered me, and the room seemed to warm and stagnate enough for me to breathe again. "I'll try not to mess you up too badly for your next meeting."
Rhazien scoffed. He had dressed in his cotton linens, making a show of rolling his sleeves up above his elbows. "We'll see if you can even touch me."
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The floor had begun to feel like a part of my body, replacing what was left of my spine as I thunked hard against it for the dozenth time.
Rhazien's chuckle echoed throughout the gym, a sound that grated against my already frayed nerves. A visage of him appeared above me, his face sweaty, the wisps around his ears bending gravity; the burning in his eyes smoldering. "Getting tired already?"
I glared at him, gritting my teeth against the ache in my shoulder as I wiped the sweat drenching my brow. "Just... Taking– A breather..." The movement had my blood barreling through my muscles that now screamed from years of disuse. I accepted this pain that came from little punishment, welcoming it as I forced myself off the floor again.
"You keep trying to predict what I'm about to do instead of reacting."
My back popped as I peeled his tee from my skin, tossing it towards the doorway. Luther meowed, dodging out of the way as he pawed closer to watch us. "I sincerely doubt Ruthanne's gonna be America's Next Ninja Warrior." A hand came to massage the spiderweb of tension flaying my spine.
"You said you wanted to be prepared." Rhazien's hands found his hips, his brows raised.
"Prepared, not broken."
"Your mouth's still working, so obviously, you're not too shattered."
I glared at Rhazien. "You don't have to be such a complete dick all the time, y'know?"
The Seneschal threw back his head, a symphony of laughter pouring from his throat into the ceiling. It was odd to feel the Blood Bond warm at the sound– to feel his voice wrap around my body like a second skin. To feel my grief, retaliate with iced water.
I worried he would see the steam he caused billow from my mouth.
"You're right..." He glanced at Luther before going back to me, scanning my form. "I'm done with my fun– Hit me."
The heat shot to my hands, stiffening my spine as my Beast finally perched up from her basket—intrigued. "Say again?"
"I know it might be hard for you to believe–" Rhazien clapped his chest with his palms, his tan skin rippling slightly as he used Aegisform.
"No trick?" The bond quaked. To attack my Bonder was like peeling out my tendons, string by string.
"River, I want you to hit me." A command, clear and dominant.
It was like unleashing a volcano; the heat bursting to my hand as my fist connected with his abdomen. The result a fissure when two atoms touch.
Rhazien was propelled backward with my force, his skin rippled and covering his body in a protective exoskeleton as he took a knee. Ash filled my mouth as I cupped my wrist, my fingers twitching with power, although I couldn't feel them. The combination of my painful winces and Rhazien's shuddering breath echoed in the mirrored room.
The Seneschal groaned, clutching his ribs as he stood, his fangs out in a tight grimace. I could feel my Beast repairing the fractures in my hand, weaving the cobweb of cracks back together again. Realization began to dawn on him like a sunrise, bottom-up. Rhazien looked between Luther, me, and where my room was in the house.
Too strong. I had hit him too hard. The flesh rippled beneath his broad palm as his body put his lower ribs back together again. A sharp gasp escaped him as his eyes widened on me. "Viggorend..."
My stomach dropped.
He now had one out of three.
"I had thought the night you frenzied it was because of you being freshly woken... I never considered–" His eyes became dull, glazing over as he disappeared into his own head, getting his physical bearings together robotically.
What do I do? I found myself glancing at Luther, who seemed to watch Rhazien nervously. I have no idea what he's said to Rhazien.
Time to shine, sweetheart. Play dumb.
A loud snap filled the room as Rhazien finally straightened, unable to help but wince at such a carnal sound. "Come here."
A carousel of curse words, round and round my skull with each step I took towards him. Rhazien's steely expression pocketing all his thoughts away, making my blood soar.
The Seneschal grunted as he pressed on his abdomen, his step slow as he slid to hover behind me. I clenched my hands, doing anything to keep them from shaking. My yelp almost whipped me backward into his chest when he firmly took my bare waist in his palms.
My words a wild gazelle and just as breathy, "W-What are you doing?"
Cool like water, and just as relentless, his voice dribbled down my shoulders. "Teaching you something Luther showed me... It's basic and you should be able to perform the maneuver in a pinch."
I looked over my shoulder at him, not expecting his nose to be so close to my chin. His eyes two mirrored lakes,
"The power of strength is in his blood too..." I sucked in a breath as he looked away, glancing at the small animal. "Perhaps I was wrong... Perhaps you two are more alike than I first thought..." A tone rumbled in his even speech– the twinge of confusion.
I bit my tongue, saying nothing as I nodded, not letting him see how my breath shook when I turned away. "Show me."
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It wasn't until I had successfully rolled Rhazien over my shoulder did he finally let me rest for the night. My skin more than eager to sink into an iced bath. A soft scratching at my bedroom door had me opening it, my hair scrunched in a towel I desperately tried to keep off the back of my neck.
Luther looked up at me, large green eyes unblinking as he chirped, hopping up and twirling. His tail curled into a question mark.
It was a lot easier to be angry with the human brother. My movements stiff as I tied my robe just a little tighter.
The black cat did another half spin before trotting up the staircase, my shuffled footsteps reluctantly shadowing him. Luther spun in the hallway, sitting and looking up with a soft-clipped meow.
A braided string hung down from the ceiling, and I kicked myself for not noticing in my delirium and brief explorations of the upstairs. I reached with a firm tug, coughing and blinking the dust out of my face as the ladder escaped in a creaking thud. The forgotten metal creaked under my footsteps as I waved the loose particles out of the air, reaching blindly for a switch just outside the panel.
The room hummed in response, happy to have a visitor after two decades. Paper lanterns hung from the rafters of the attic, emanating a soft glow that wasn't unfamiliar to the house. A full bed, sandwiched in the corner, the drawers built in underneath it stuffed with loose socks and sheets.
But it was the drawings that lured me to the large pitched wooden wall.
Every surface inch was littered with hand-drawn images in pencil, ink, and charcoal; moments and scenes frozen in time, captured from insane perspectives— through grates, on rooftops, and at the tops of trees, through the branches. I could feel Luther watching me as I approached the drawings, fingertips hovering as I prayed to step through the images.
I never realized black and white could have so much color.
My gaze dropped down to the desk that sat as a prize beacon beneath the archway of art. Where Rhazien was neat, his brother was cluttered. Papers curled with age around each other, a mesh wastebasket overflowing with crumpled discarded yellow pages. His supplies still scattered atop his desk, the white chalk dressed in silk webs.
Luther's meow redirected me to the other side of the room, where a closet lay tucked away.
My joy nearly exploded when I opened the pocket door to reveal an arrangement of normal goddamn clothing. I snatched a pair of sweats, baggy tee, and a hoodie, clutching them to my face just to make sure they were real.
There was a lot that could be said behind fashion, and I was starting to get a sense for the man hidden beneath the fur.
My voice came out stilted, "Thank you..."
Luther sat by the declined ladder, his ears flickering before he blinked, giving me privacy of his room.
I stared at the clothes in my palms, realizing this was as much a helpful hand as it was a gentle nudge of impatience.
Luther was ready to be free, too.
I needed answers.
And whether I liked it or not, I needed him.